[PoV Fenrir]
We walked out of the room at a slow pace, the palace walls feeling colder than usual. The night wind carried a silence that would last until sunrise.
Earlier, Loki had left us without saying much, allowing us to walk side by side through the palace corridors, illuminated only by the moonlight and the dim glow of lanterns hanging along the walls.
Amidst the quiet that enveloped us, I turned my head to the side, glancing at Yatagarasu walking beside me. His steps were light, almost weightless. His dark eyes stared vacantly down the corridor, lost in his own thoughts.
My mind drifted back to his fight with Anitra. Something about it felt off—he hadn't really tried to kill her, even though he had plenty of chances.
"Hey, Yata. Why didn't you kill her?" I asked, stopping in my tracks. "She's from Asgard, isn't she? She might be dangerous later."
Yata turned to me, his usual faint smile appearing on his lips. But this time, it felt different—fake, as if he was hiding something.
"Loki is going to interrogate her. We might need some information from her," he replied flatly.
My ears twitched. Something felt off about his answer. I stepped closer, narrowing my eyes at him.
"You're lying, aren't you? You let her live on purpose, didn't you?"
He fell silent for a moment, not saying a word. But for a split second, I caught a flicker of surprise in his eyes. Then he let out a light sigh and gave a small, knowing smile. "You're right. I was lying."
I clicked my tongue. "How honest of you."
Yata averted his gaze. "I suppose I can't fool you when it comes to this."
No more words were spoken after that. We continued walking, the soft echoes of our footsteps filling the empty corridor. Silence greeted us once again.
I stopped in my tracks, gathering the courage to break the quiet. "Why did you do it?"
Yata halted as well, turning to face me with that ever-mysterious, faint smile.
He took a long breath before exhaling. "Fenrir," he called in a low voice. "Don't you want to find a life that makes you happy?"
I frowned. His question felt strange, unrelated to our conversation. "Of course I do, but what does that have to do with this?"
He paused for a moment, his obsidian eyes shimmering under the dim light. "The first thing you need to do is live within a society. They have rules. This isn't the wild, and even in the wild, there are unwritten rules."
I fell silent. His words echoed in my mind, slowly sinking into my consciousness. "I see," I muttered, my voice heavy and weak.
But the honesty in my tone startled even myself. His words reminded me of Uncle Tyr—the only one in Asgard who treated me with kindness, even when I was seen as a threat to the gods.
He used to say similar things, talking about rules, responsibilities, and a life beyond mere strength. But back then, I was too young to truly grasp the meaning behind his words.
No.
Even now, I feel like I still don't fully understand them.
"Do you want to go to the garden for a bit?" Yata asked, breaking my thoughts. His voice was soft, filled with understanding.
I lifted my head, meeting his faint smile—the kind that always had a calming effect on me. After a moment of hesitation, I nodded at his suggestion, then let him lead the way.
We walked toward the palace garden, now quiet, with only the gentle rustling of the wind and our footsteps filling the air. The vibrant colors of the flowers that usually pleased the eye were swallowed by the darkness of the night, leaving only the white petals of Edelweiss and Amaryllis reflecting the dim glow of the moon.
We headed straight to the white terrace at the center of the garden and sat side by side. Once again, no words passed between us. Only the symphony of the night breeze hummed softly around me.
He gazed up at the sky, his eyes searching for something beyond my sight. "Sometimes, I wonder, Fenrir," he finally spoke, his voice quiet. "Do you truly understand what you want from this world?"
I turned to him, confused by his question. "Of course, I do. I want freedom."
He chuckled softly—not a mocking laugh, but rather a bittersweet one, as if he knew more about life than he let on.
"Freedom itself isn't a goal, Fenrir. It's a means to an end. The real question is… what will you do once you have it?"
I froze, letting his words hang in the air. For the first time, I felt empty. I wanted to argue, but no words came to mind.
Yata turned to me, his gaze gentle yet filled with mystery. "Life is more than just being free, Fenrir. Freedom is merely the key to unlocking the door to the life you truly desire. And now, you need to know where you'll go once you step through that door."
I looked away, trying to hide the confusion on my face. But deep down, I knew he was right. I might want freedom, but I had no idea what I would do once I had it.
In the middle of the garden, the crescent moon cast its glow upon us, creating long shadows among the Edelweiss and Amaryllis that shimmered faintly. The cool breeze carried the scent of damp grass, fresh with the touch of dew.
"Haven't we talked about this before?" Yatagarasu's voice broke the silence, his tone low, almost like a whisper carried by the wind.
I nodded slowly, my eyes still fixed on the star-filled sky.
"Yes. Back then, I only thought about revenge. But you… you gave me another option—traveling across Yggdrasil."
Yata smiled faintly, shifting his gaze to the heavens as if seeking answers among the stars. "Yes, you're right. I once promised to show you a life beyond vengeance, didn't I?"
I lowered my head, letting my thoughts drift back to that moment—when he offered me something I had never considered before.
"The choice is yours," he continued softly. "I won't object to whatever you decide."
Silence embraced us again, the only sound being the whisper of leaves swaying with the wind. I didn't know what to say. Something weighed on my chest—a feeling I had never experienced before.
Yata stood up, brushing off his clothes before turning to me. "Let's head back to our rooms. It's getting late."
I simply nodded and followed his light footsteps back to the palace.
*****
In my room, I sat on the bed, staring blankly out the window. The night sky stretched beyond the glass, with a crescent moon casting a dim glow between the slowly drifting clouds. Cold air seeped through the tiny gaps in the window, but I barely felt it.
My mind kept replaying Yata's words.
"The choice is in your hands. I won't protest whatever you decide."
Simple, yet piercing. Those words were like a dagger slipping into my thoughts, tearing apart something fragile within me.
At first, revenge was the only purpose I understood. Every step I took, every breath I drew, was for the day I could destroy them. The gods. Odin. Asgard. Everyone who had ever made me suffer.
But now?
I bit into my pillow, trying to suppress the frustration churning inside me. But the emotions refused to fade, pressing heavily against my chest.
"What is it that I truly seek?"
The question kept circling in my head. I didn't even know when I started losing my thirst for vengeance. Perhaps since meeting Yata. Perhaps since he showed me that this world was far greater than just hatred and revenge.
But what did that mean if I didn't even know what I wanted anymore?
I rose from the bed and walked to the window, pushing it open, letting the cold night air brush against my skin. The wind carried the silence of the night, broken only by the occasional rustling of leaves in the palace garden.
I gazed at the sky, the crescent moon resembling a lopsided smirk, full of irony.
"I want freedom," I murmured, more to myself than anyone else. "But what kind of freedom?"
The night breeze answered with a soft whisper. I closed my eyes, trying to savor the fresh air as it tousled my hair.
Returning to my bed, I pulled my knees to my chest, my eyes settling on the necklace around my neck—a violet pendant Yata had found in Lyngvi Valley back when I was still bound.
"What is it that keeps me alive?" I whispered once more, asking myself, asking the silence of my room, asking the shadows that shrouded my thoughts.
But no answer came.
I let myself drown in my own mind, searching for fragments of who I used to be. But the deeper I searched, the more I felt like I was losing sight of my true self.
Had I lost myself? Or had I never truly known who I was? Or maybe... I had become someone entirely different.
With a heavy sigh, I lay back on the bed. My eyes traced the dark ceiling, searching for faint shapes in the shadows. Yata's words echoed once more. "The choice is in your hands."
But what if I didn't know which choice to make?
That night felt endless. So, so long. I curled up, trying to close my eyes, but my mind refused to quiet down. And in the darkness, I could only hope that someday, I would find the answer.
No matter when, no matter how, no matter where.