The meat skewer had been worth every second of delay. The smoky flavor still lingered on Ubuntu's tongue as he trudged along the path, finally moving in the direction of the scream he'd ignored earlier. His stomach was full, his energy was back, and for the first time in hours, he felt like he could actually face a fight without passing out halfway through.
He had no real sense of urgency. After all, the girl—assuming it was a girl—had probably figured things out by now, right? These things always had a way of working themselves out. Maybe someone else had already swooped in to save her. That would've been convenient.
But, as he approached the sound of distant commotion, it became clear that his earlier assumption had been a bit... optimistic.
The landscape had shifted from barren rocks to a dense forest, the trees twisted and gnarled, their branches reaching out like skeletal hands. A low mist clung to the ground, giving the area a creepy, haunted feel. In the distance, he could hear the faint clash of metal—definitely a fight.
"Great," Ubuntu muttered under his breath. "Looks like I've still got a job to do after all."
He quickened his pace, weaving through the trees until the forest opened up into a clearing. And there, at the center of it all, was exactly what he'd expected.
A girl—mid-teens, by the look of her—stood backed against a large tree, clutching a small dagger in her hands. Her clothes were torn, and her face was a mix of fear and defiance. Surrounding her were several large, brutish figures, their weapons gleaming in the dim light as they circled her like wolves. At their center, a tall, hooded man stood with his arms crossed, watching the scene with cold amusement.
"Of course," Ubuntu said quietly, shaking his head. "There's always a guy with a hood."
The girl lunged at one of the goons with her dagger, but the man easily knocked her weapon aside with a chuckle, sending her stumbling back. She wasn't giving up, but it was clear she was outmatched.
Ubuntu took a deep breath. Alright. Time to do the whole "hero" thing. At least he wasn't hungry anymore.
He stepped into the clearing, his eyes fixed on the hooded man. "Hey! Isn't this the part where you tie her to some train tracks or something?"
The entire group froze at the sound of his voice, turning to look at him. The hooded man tilted his head, his eyes narrowing beneath the shadow of his cloak.
"Who the hell are you?" one of the thugs barked, raising his sword. "This doesn't concern you."
"Oh, it definitely does," Ubuntu replied, stepping forward. "See, I've got this thing where I can't ignore people being jerks. Really messes with my day."
The thugs exchanged glances before the leader stepped forward, his posture casual but menacing. "You should've stayed out of this, boy. You have no idea who you're dealing with."
"Let me guess," Ubuntu said, holding up a hand. "You're gonna tell me you're some ancient warrior, or a mercenary with a tragic backstory. Something about revenge? No? Alright, surprise me."
The hooded man straightened, clearly not appreciating the sarcasm. "You mock what you cannot understand, fool. I am—"
"Oh no," Ubuntu interrupted, raising his hand again. "Not the monologue. Please. Anything but the monologue."
The hooded man hesitated, confused.
"I mean, seriously?" Ubuntu gestured dramatically. "A villain monologue? We're still doing this? In what year?" He turned, as if addressing the trees. "I bet half the readers just skipped this part to get to the fight. You guys did that, right? Skipped the chapter? Thought so."
He looked back at the hooded man, shrugging. "Can't say I blame them. I mean, we all know how this ends. You ramble on about power or destiny, and I kick your face in. So, how about we fast-forward to the part where you try to stab me and I make you regret it?"
The thugs exchanged uneasy glances, clearly unsure of what to do next. The hooded man's eyes flared with anger, his hand twitching toward the sword at his side.
"Enough!" he snarled, drawing his blade in one swift motion. "You dare mock me? I am the right hand of the Sovereign! You will fall as easily as the others before you!"
"Oh, now you're talking," Ubuntu said, cracking his knuckles. "You know, I've actually been looking forward to this."
The man lunged, his sword gleaming in the light as he brought it down toward Ubuntu with deadly precision. The thugs joined the fray, weapons raised, clearly eager to overwhelm him with numbers.
But they weren't fast enough.
Ubuntu ducked under the first swing, twisting his body with effortless precision. He sidestepped another attack, planting his elbow into one thug's gut, sending him crashing to the ground with a grunt. Another came at him with an axe, but Ubuntu caught the weapon mid-swing, twisting it out of the man's hands and slamming the hilt into his jaw. The thug dropped like a sack of potatoes.
The hooded leader snarled in frustration, swinging his sword wildly, but each strike met only air. Ubuntu's movements were fluid, precise—he wasn't just dodging, he was toying with them.
"This is just embarrassing," Ubuntu said, ducking under another wild swing. "I mean, I've seen kids with sticks put up more of a fight."
The leader roared in frustration, charging at him with renewed fury. His blade came down in a vicious arc, but Ubuntu caught the man's wrist mid-swing, stopping him cold. He twisted the man's arm with ease, forcing him to drop the sword. The hooded figure stumbled back, clutching his arm in pain.
Ubuntu stepped forward, leaning in slightly. "I'd ask if you want to keep going, but I feel like you've already had enough."
The man's eyes darted around the clearing, realizing just how outmatched he was. His remaining thugs were either unconscious or fleeing into the forest, and he was left alone, weaponless.
"You..." he growled, his voice shaking with rage. "You think you've won? You've made a grave mistake. The Sovereign will—"
"Yeah, yeah, the Sovereign will come for me, blah blah," Ubuntu interrupted, waving his hand dismissively. "Honestly, man, do you have any idea how many times I've heard that today? You're not special. None of this is."
Before the man could respond, Ubuntu flicked his wrist, sending a pulse of energy that knocked him backward. The leader crashed into a nearby tree, slumping to the ground in a dazed heap. He didn't get up.
Ubuntu stood over him for a moment, dusting off his hands. "There. Now we're done."
He turned to the girl, who was still clutching her dagger, staring at him with wide eyes.
"You alright?" Ubuntu asked, walking over to her.
She nodded, her voice barely a whisper. "Y-Yeah. I think so."
"Good. You might want to work on the whole 'getting ambushed in the forest' thing, though. Just a suggestion."
She blinked, still trying to process everything that had just happened. "You... you saved me."
"Technically, yeah." Ubuntu scratched the back of his neck. "But let's be honest, it wasn't much of a challenge."
The girl opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, Ubuntu raised a hand. "Look, I know what you're thinking. This is the part where I give some inspiring speech, right? Maybe something about how no one should feel powerless, and how we all have the strength to fight back or whatever."
He paused, letting the silence hang in the air for a beat.
"But honestly? I'm just here for the fight scenes."
And with that, he turned and walked away, leaving the girl to stare after him in stunned silence.