Her Nanny.
Her sweet Nanny, who had always been by her side.
Her Nanny was here with her….right?
Still with tears rolling down her cheeks, Ayana couldn't help but wonder about the presence of her Nanny.
Wasn't her Nanny supposed to be in prison?
No…how was she seeing her Nanny in flesh in the first place? Wasn't she dead?
"Young miss, why are you crying? I haven't said anything yet.'' The elderly-aged woman raised her fingers to wipe her wet cheeks, looking heartbroken at the sight of her tears.
''Nanny…'' Ayana called out again.
''Yes, young miss.'' replied her Nanny.
''Nanny…''
''Yes, young miss.''
''Nanny…'' Ayana kept on calling and calling out to her Nanny as if to reassure herself that her Nanny's presence was not a dream or an illusion created from the deepest yearning of her heart.
''Young Miss, your Nanny is right here and not going anywhere.'' The elderly-aged woman patiently answered every call, though she was a bit confused why her young miss was behaving this way.
''Did my young miss have a bad dream?'' She voiced out thoughts in concern. That was the only possible reason that she could come up with for her young miss's weird behavior.
''Hmm…'' Ayana nodded slowly, her voice soft and angelic, just like a child. Her focus was intently on the aging face of her nanny, taking in every feature as if to imprint deep within her mind.
''Everything is okay, young miss. The dream is not real.'' Her Nanny comforted her gently before getting up on her feet. ''It is lunchtime, young miss. Please come out of your room and eat with the young master after you calm down.''
She ended her words with a warm smile and walked away, leaving Ayana alone in the bedroom to her brewing thoughts.
''…...''
''A dream…'' Following the short silence, Ayana mumbled with dried tears, slowly rising up on the bed into a sitting position. Her eyes surveyed the entire room that she was in with a complicated gaze.
Spotting the full-length mirror, Ayana got down from the bed and hesitantly took her first step. She then took another, and another, until she was facing her reflection on the glass.
''….How?'' That was the first word coming out from her lips as she stared closely at herself in the mirror with a thought soon after. 'Is this what I look like?'
A little girl, probably in her pre-teenage years, stared right back at her. The same eyes of the two girls widened at the sight of each other. The shock was clearly evident unable to lessen at the moment.
Other than the casual clothes on her body, Ayana looked at the hazel eyes that gazed right back at her. She also took in the familiar caramel-colored hair that belonged to her, however this wasn't the length of her hair when she had been on the hospital bed.
To be accurate, she was hairless on the hospital bed. The sickness was so bad that all of her hair had fallen off and what remained was her bald, round head.
Even then, this wasn't the length of her hair before she had been admitted to the hospital. The length of her hair didn't pass her shoulder, so why was her hair this long on the mirror?
Her body was small and under-developed as well. The person she was looking at was clearly a child, and she had been a full-grown adult on the hospital bed.
''A-Ah-h…'' Ayana's eyes flashed in realization. Her voice shook with both her palms on her lips. Tears welled up in her eyes as her legs gave out and her knees plopped to the ground. Her tears began to trail down her cheeks again.
''D-Dream-m….'' With a stutter, her eyes were in disbelief and shock at the same time. There were many emotions she felt just at the sight of herself in the mirror.
*sob*
*sob*
''D-Dream-m….'' Ayana repeated in tears.
She still couldn't believe that this person in the mirror was her. The girl in the mirror was her at the moment.
She was the girl!
She actually came back to life.
Precisely the past before everything had gone down the hill.
She was back to the time before she had met that hateful man!
*sob*
Ayana cried hard. She wept bitterly and miserably as though she had lost something…which she had…many precious things in the past, including her innocent self.
All the feelings of betrayal, resentment, everything emotion she had felt when her eyes opened to the true faces of her relatives, she turned them to the heavy tears flowing down her cheeks.
''I-I a-am s-sorry.'' Ayana began to apologize. Her head lowered to the ground as though they were right in front of her. Her parents, her little brother, her Nanny, the people who had done nothing wrong but suffered a tragic fate under hers and her uncle's influence, she had many people to give her apology.
''I-I am-m s-sorry.''
''I-I am s-sorry.''
That was how Ayana spent her time shedding all the pain she had felt because of the hurtful betrayal.
****
''So…I'm back.'' Still sitting on the ground, Ayana murmured slowly, looking deeply at the pre-teenage girl in the mirror. Her pinkish puffy eyes, a testimony of her weeping moment, stared right back at her, void of the shock and disbelief that was there moments ago.
''If this is a dream….I don't want to wake up.'' She confessed to no one but herself. True to her words, If this moment was truly a dream, she didn't wake up to the reality. She wanted to live in this dream forever.
But…if what she had experienced was a dream…then was this moment a reality?
What was the dream? What was the reality?
Ayana truly didn't know, and was somewhat confused at the moment.
*Knock*
*Knock*
She flinched at the sound of someone knocking before taking a deep breath and composing herself. It seemed she was a little jumpy because of her confusion.
No…she just wasn't used to the dream-like moment yet.
She turned her head to the side, her gaze eyeing the polished mahogany door that was closed.
''W-What is it?'' The soft childish voice from her sounded in the quiet room.
''Pardon me, young miss, but Nanny Hilda and the young master are waiting in the dining room.''
Suddenly, her stomach growled loudly, as if agreeing to the maid's words.
''O-Okay, I will be right there.'' Ayana said right back. Her cheeks turned rosy even if there was no one to witness her growling belly in the room. Perhaps her situation made her thought that it was quite humiliating that she, with an older mental age, had forgotten about her hunger.
''Yes young miss.'' Ayana heard the maid and guessed the latter left the front of her room to report to her Nanny.
Returning her gaze back to the mirror, Ayana looked at her reflection for a moment, still not used to this sight of her current self.
''Jay…'' Tears gathered in Ayana's eyes as she thought of the maid's words. If she was truly back to the past where nothing had happened yet, then her little brother should be alive and well.
If this moment was nothing but a dream…then her brother should definitely be alive and healthy…right?
Ayana knew that the only way to stop these uncertain thoughts was to step out and face the outside world beyond the door of this room.
She would not only have to face her little brother, but her relatives, that hateful man and his disgusting wife….and her fiancé. She would have to face all of them once she stepped out of this room.
That is, if what she had experienced was not a bad dream.
''Ha…'' She exhaled a deep breath. Just thinking about meeting them all over again elicited a nauseating feeling within her.
And she was going to eat with her little brother.
'….Jay.' She inwardly uttered his name.
'Just think about meeting him for now.' She encouraged herself in her thoughts.
That's right, if she took a step outside….she could see her little brother again.