It's all happening too fast. I want to protect you, but don't think to yourself that we may be connected by something more than friendship. In the future, we will become siblings, let's not complicate it, Danielle. This is just an infatuation. You can't love someone so quickly. More time is needed for that.
The 14-year-old sits on the bed, resting her chin on her knees. With sad eyes, she stares at the window, still unable to rid her mind of the words Jin confessed to her when she unexpectedly kissed him.
The girl thought he also felt something for her. She could see it in his eyes! She is sure that the sparkling look that was directed at her meant something more than simple concern.
Her room is filled with the pleasant smell of rain. Drops run down the window pane, her guardian angel weeps along with her.
— I just require someone's warmth.... I want someone to finally love me — she whispers into space as she closes her eyelids.
She listens to the raindrops that hit the window. It's late evening, she sits in the dark room, unable to fall asleep.
Why does she feel restless? Did Jin's words cause her so much pain?
She gets out of bed and runs to the door, unable to bear the oppressive breathlessness any longer. Maybe he doesn't want her, perhaps he doesn't feel anything for her, but she doesn't intend to be sad about it.
She takes a deep breath as she stands outside his room one last time, analyzing whether she is doing the right thing. What if she messes up even more between them this way?
Once a goat's death, he thinks as he peers inside.
His room is illuminated by a yellow lamp that sits on the nightstand located on the right side of the bed. He is sleeping on his side, with his face laid toward her.
He is so peaceful.... He looks like an angel.
Danielle climbs onto the bed and lies down next to him, focusing her gaze on all the details of his face. In her mind, she admires his beauty, with which he charmed her the first time they met.
She adores him.
She lifts her hand and touches his cheek with her fingers. The boy stirs in his sleep.
— Jin? — She whispers, watching as he slowly opens his eyes.
The 16-year-old looks at her with sleepy eyes, at first recognizing that this is a daydream.
— Why are you here?
— You've brought me to the point where I can't sleep a wink. You broke my heart.
Jin places his hands under his face, still not taking his eyes off her.
— I would have broken your heart if I hadn't stopped it. — Danielle tightens her lips in anger. — You are fourteen years old, you are a child. We are both still very young. It's a temporary infatuation, I realize that, so what should I do to make you understand it too?
The rain is getting heavier, the drops are hitting the glass with increasing intensity.
— We have been living together for more than a month, why don't you allow yourself to think that I really fell in love with you during that time?
— So, how do you understand love? In what way do you feel that this is the feeling?
She smiles slightly. She grabs his hand and puts it to her left breast.
— I don't need to tell you formulas. The heart will explain it better than reason.
He looks at her with wide-open eyes as he finally feels her heart beating hard.
— Did you take anything before you came to see me?
Danielle crinkles her eyebrows, looking offended by his words.
— People at school say I act like a bitch. They would have to know you — she says in a hurt voice.
The boy twists on his back.
— I just can't let anything come between us. We've been living together for over a month, and you can see for yourself what's happening. We are falling in love with each other. It's a dangerous feeling that can cause harm to us and those close to us.
— And isn't everything dangerous more exciting?
— I would love to rub your mother's nose in it, to separate her from my father, but I'm worried about you.
A 14-year-old doesn't understand that.
— Why are you worried about me?
— Because your mother is despicable, and I believe she would try to separate us with cruel tactics at any cost.
The girl sits on his stomach, leaning over, tickling his face with her long hair.
— So it's up to us to get rid of her with cruel tactics before the wedding happens.
— She's terrible, but she's your mother, Danielle says.
She leans in even more, her lips almost touching his lips.
— She may be my mother, but I have stronger feelings for you than for her. I care about you more, Jin. It's been so little time, and I'm crazy about you. That already means something, doesn't it?
He looks into her eyes, admiring her for having so much energy and courage to do all these crazy things despite such a young age.
— Let it go, Danielle. I'll be living in a boarding school in a month. This will pass.
The brunette embraces his face with her hand and announces to him in a firm voice:
— This month will make you crazy about me. I won't give up on you, even if you live in a boarding school.
Danielle steps off him and, smiling under her breath, heads for the door. When she grabs the handle, she turns to face him.
— I never give up what is mine.
*
This morning's breakfast tastes strange as Jin sits next to Danielle, out of the corner of his eye noticing that the smile doesn't leave her face.
— What's wrong with finally being in a good mood? — Her mother always sounds stern towards her, even if it's a question about her mood.
— I finally woke up with a calm heart.
The 16-year-old crinkles his eyebrows as Danielle grabs his hand under the table.
— With a calm heart? So you finally decided to take care of yourself, improve your grades and behave like a human being?
— And how did she seem to behave before? — Jin interjects, already fed up with the witch first thing in the morning.
The woman twists her mouth in a mischievous smile.
— Not like a girl, but a cattle prod.
The 14-year-old feels humiliated by her mother, but tries to keep a cold expression on her face, which, however, does not escape the attention of the boy accompanying her.
— Cattle? — Repeats Jin, putting down the spoon. — In that case, you'd have to spend a day at the middle school I graduated from. The kids there can be called cattle. They spit saliva wherever they can, they could even shit under themselves. — The woman grunts back, being disgusted by his vocabulary. — Danielle is just a teenager who prefers her opinion rather than be subservient to an adult who has no idea about life and pushes nonsense into her head.
The girl squeezes his hand tighter, happy that he stood up for her again and shut her witch mother's mouth.
— You defend her because you are still a child yourself.
— You defend yourself with this argument because you are ashamed.
The woman pushes back in her chair and gets up from the table, no longer intending to have this pointless conversation with a teenager.
— Don't try to pretend to be an adult, kid.
She leaves the dining room, and Jin takes his hand from Danielle's grasp.
— Thank you for shutting her mouth before she started humiliating me again.
— You need to learn to defend yourself before she completely enters your head. I'll be leaving this place in a month, spending most of my time at Horace Mann. In the first semester I won't be here at all.
— I will avoid it as much as possible. After leaving school, I won't be going home right away. I will only stay here overnight.
— Danielle...
— Unless one day I can't stand it and just kill her....
The 14-year-old leaves the dining room, at which point Jin rests her cheek on her hand and sighs loudly.
How else can he help her?
*
She could sit on that swing for days. She loves to spend every summer day at the playground, located near the house. Here she can mentally rest and relax, knowing that she is not being watched by her mother.
She may have had everything provided for her through adoption, but that won't bring back the nightmarish childhood she experienced under one roof with that awful woman. Occasionally, she thinks more and more about whether she wouldn't have been better off in an orphanage? Why would she need such a childish mother? She would feel better not having parents.
At least she wouldn't be anyone's puppet, since her home is not a safe house.
— Aren't you too old to swing?
Danielle looks over her shoulder, spotting two girls roughly her age. With folded hands on their chests, they head toward her with arrogant expressions on their faces.
— At most, you can be the terror of the neighborhood dogs — she mutters under her breath, then jumps off the swing and stands in front of them, boldly measuring them with her eyes. — My brother tells me that I am still a child. You guys say I'm too old to carelessly spend time on the playground. You guys are messing with my head.
— Your brother must be as stupid as you are.
The 14-year-old puffs out her lips, wondering how Jin would react if he heard what they say about him.
— Maybe he actually is, since he rejects my advances.
The girls look disgusted by her words.
— Are you making jokes?
— You guys are trying to be scary, I'm trying to be funny. It seems to me that putting a mask on your face, doesn't suit us. It's better to be ourselves. I'm scary by nature, you guys are just funny, bitches.
The girl standing closest to her gets in her face, and when the other tries to attack her, Danielle sprinkles sand in her eyes.
— What's wrong with you, psycho?
— Haven't you read mythology? The goddess will always have power over the weaklings.
— Danielle! — The 14-year-old puts on a contrite face when she hears Jin shout. — What the hell are you doing!!!?
Her face becomes sweet.
— I'm trying to defend you. Those morons called you stupid.
The girl who got slapped in the face by Danielle looks shocked.
— Jin? — She asks in a voice full of disbelief.
— We are not on "You," he answers her sharply.
His attitude toward these girls changes by ninety degrees. He knows them from middle school. He knows that they are losers who, out of boredom, accost their peers and humiliate them as much as they can.
— Let's go, Danielle. — He grabs her hand, which automatically brings a wide smile to her face.
She has won again.