Chereads / Henry Blunder and the Sorcerer's Sock / Chapter 16 - Chapter 16: The Absurd Assembly

Chapter 16 - Chapter 16: The Absurd Assembly

The great hall of Wibberflop Academy was buzzing with excitement as students from every house gathered for the final event of the school year, the House Cup Ceremony. Banners of every house fluttered overhead, enchanted candles floating lazily through the air, casting a warm glow over the chaotic scene below.

Henry, Jonah, and Katherine sat together at the long Quackers House table, all three of them looking far more relaxed than usual. After surviving a year filled with pies, socks, and a squeaky dark lord, they were more than ready to wrap things up.

Henry (grinning):

"I'm just glad we made it to the end without more flying pies or exploding plants."

Katherine (quacking softly with a sigh of relief):

"Let's just hope, quack, this ceremony goes by without anything crazy happening."

The three friends exchanged hopeful looks. After all the absurdities they had been through, surely they deserved a peaceful end to the year. But, of course, this was Wibberflop, and "peaceful" wasn't exactly part of the school's vocabulary.

As the head table filled with professors, including the perpetually bewildered Professor Flufflebumps, the excitement in the hall grew louder. Students chattered about their points, eagerly awaiting the announcement of which house would win the House Cup.

Jonah (leaning over to look at the points board):

"I don't think we're doing too bad this year. Maybe Quackers House won't come in last for once."

Henry squinted up at the glowing scoreboard, where the points for each house were displayed in gleaming numbers. But as he scanned the rankings, his optimism quickly faded.

Henry (groaning):

"Uh... Jonah? You might want to take another look."

Jonah frowned and leaned in closer. As he did, his face fell in disbelief.

The Quackers House total was... negative.

Jonah (wide-eyed):

"Wait... How do we have negative points? I thought that wasn't even possible!"

Katherine (quacking in frustration):

"We're the only house, quack, that could manage to end up in the negatives."

Sure enough, while the other houses had respectable scores in the hundreds and thousands, Quackers House sat at a miserable -500 points. It seemed that the year's worth of mischief, including turning a dark lord into a teacup, nearly burning down a greenhouse, and Katherine's quacking mishap, had taken its toll on their score.

Henry (shaking his head):

"Well, I guess we found a way to make history... for all the wrong reasons."

As the students continued to chatter, the hall slowly quieted when Professor Flufflebumps stood up to address them. His robes were slightly crooked, and his hat sat at an odd angle on his head, but his eyes twinkled as though he was about to deliver the most profound speech of his career.

Professor Flufflebumps (clearing his throat):

"Ah, yes, students... the time has come. The sands of time have filled our house cups, and now, we shall see which house... has caught the most grains."

The students exchanged confused glances, but no one dared interrupt him.

Professor Flufflebumps (continuing, completely serious):

"For, you see, dear students, the house cups... they do not just hold points. They hold destiny. The ducks of wisdom swim through lakes of thought, and only those who can paddle through the currents of knowledge will, "

Henry (whispering to Jonah):

"What is he even talking about?"

Jonah (shrugging):

"Honestly, I'm not sure he knows either."

As Flufflebumps rambled on about ducks, lakes, and destiny, the house cups on the stage began to glow brighter. Each cup, representing the houses, was slowly filling with shimmering sand, rising higher and higher with each second. The headmaster seemed to notice this and paused, his eyes gleaming with what could only be described as pride.

Professor Flufflebumps (smiling):

"Ah, yes... the house cups overflow with the sands of wisdom. So much sand... so very much sand."

The sand continued to pour into the cups, now filling them to the brim. But something wasn't right. The cups began to shake, trembling under the weight of the sand, and students leaned in curiously as the scene unfolded.

And then, with a loud BANG, one of the house cups exploded.

Sand burst into the air like a firework, showering the students with glittering grains. Chaos erupted in the hall as students scrambled to get out of the way. Before anyone could react, another house cup exploded, sending even more sand flying everywhere.

Henry (ducking as sand sprayed over him):

"What in the world is happening?!"

Jonah (laughing as he wiped sand out of his hair):

"This has to be the most Wibberflop thing ever!"

Soon, all of the house cups were bursting one by one, each explosion sending more sand into the air until the entire great hall was filled with a swirling cloud of glittering sand. Students shouted, laughed, and ducked under tables, and the professors were frantically trying to wave away the clouds with their wands.

Katherine (quacking as she ducked):

"Why, quack, does everything here, quack, end in explosions?!"

The great hall was now a chaotic whirlwind of shimmering sand. Students were frantically brushing it off their robes, while enchanted brooms tried and failed to sweep up the mess, scattering more sand in their wake. Despite the chaos, Professor Flufflebumps remained at the front of the room, blissfully unaware of the disaster unfolding around him.

He raised his arms dramatically, as if addressing an audience that wasn't currently being bombarded by explosions of sand.

Professor Flufflebumps (beaming):

"Ah, yes! The explosion of knowledge, as foretold in the ancient scrolls of... wisdom... and ducks."

The students, still dodging sand and overturned chairs, stared at him in bewilderment. It seemed that Flufflebumps was completely unfazed by the fact that the house cups had just exploded.

Jonah (wiping sand from his face, laughing):

"Did he just say something about ducks again?"

Henry (shaking sand out of his hair):

"I think so. He's obsessed with ducks."

Despite the growing pandemonium in the hall, Flufflebumps continued his bizarre speech, his voice taking on a tone of grand importance.

Professor Flufflebumps (dramatically):

"Dear students, as you stand covered in the sands of time, remember this: the true essence of life is not in the points we gather, but in the grains we lose along the way. For it is in the moments between the quacks of destiny that we find the greatest wisdom."

Katherine (quacking softly):

"I don't think, quack, this speech is making, quack, any sense."

The students glanced at one another, more confused than ever. The sandstorm had settled somewhat, but the entire hall was now coated in a fine layer of glowing grains. The enchanted candles above flickered, casting shimmering reflections in the sandy air.

Professor Flufflebumps (grinning proudly):

"And so, as we close this chapter, I leave you with this: always carry a spoon. For you never know when you might encounter... soup."

Henry, Jonah, and Katherine exchanged baffled looks. Around them, the students murmured in confusion, trying to decipher whatever bizarre metaphor the headmaster had just conjured.

Henry (whispering):

"A... spoon?"

Jonah (chuckling):

"Yeah, I'm just gonna pretend that made sense. Seems easier that way."

As Flufflebumps continued to babble on about the importance of spoons, lakes of wisdom, and ducks, the teachers behind him tried their best to restore some order to the hall. Professor Snipp, looking more irritable than ever, was furiously snapping his fingers at floating pieces of debris, trying to put everything back in place. Each snap sent a little spark, but to no avail, the sand refused to cooperate.

Professor Snipp (snapping his fingers rapidly):

"Why won't this blasted sand disappear!"

Suddenly, one of his snaps ignited into a small flame, catching the sleeve of his robe on fire. He yelped and dove into the nearest pile of sand, rolling around to extinguish the flames. When he stood up again, his hair had turned a vivid rainbow of colors, courtesy of whatever magical sparks had erupted from his wand.

Jonah (laughing hysterically):

"Did Snipp just set himself on fire?! And is his hair rainbow now?!"

Katherine (quacking through giggles):

"This, quack, just keeps getting, quack, better!"

As the scene unfolded in front of them, Henry, Jonah, and Katherine couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. It was the perfect finale to their year at Wibberflop, explosions, confusion, and a headmaster who seemed to be operating on an entirely different plane of reality.

Narrator (mockingly):

"Ah, yes. The grand finale of Wibberflop's academic year. A moment of reflection, wisdom, and... spoons. Truly, no other school in the world could pull off such an extravagant display of chaos and nonsense."