"What did you say?"
I had to make sure if I heard her correctly. It shocked me more than it should have. Probably because I was expecting a much different scenario to play out.
Kurebayashi doesn't immediately respond. Instead, she looks away for a brief moment, averting her gaze towards the falling maple leaves being blown away by an abrupt breeze. It's now the middle of September, and the leaves are starting to turn orange. The rustling sounds they make as they dance in the wind before falling to the ground never fails to soothe me. And this is just a hunch, but perhaps Kurebayashi feels the same way. After a few moments of looking at this serene sight, she lets out a slight sigh and once again faces me. She's smiling, but her eyes tell a different story.
"I joined as a school volunteer because an upperclassman asked me to. I was just a freshman at the time, and he was a graduating senior. I must admit, becoming a school volunteer was not at all in my plans for that year. But when he asked for my help so earnestly, I could not refuse."
I did not expect her to lay out her history here. But in situations like this, it's best to just shut up and listen. Yes, it's awkward since we barely know each other and she's already telling me a personal story of hers, but I can't just get up and leave now, can I? I simply nod as a sign of acknowledgement and let her continue.
"When I joined, there were two other seniors with him. And together, we went around the school helping out whenever we were needed. There was even a time when we looked around the entire school to find the principal's missing car keys."
She smiled and laughed as she continued to talk about her past year as a volunteer. She talked about her seniors, the people they've helped, and somewhat ludicrous moments that I couldn't imagine happening to me as often as it did for them. She seems genuinely happy talking about these things, but I can't exactly put my entire focus on what she's saying. Instead, my attention is glued on her eyes. Again, she's smiling and laughing, but the forlorn expression of her eyes gives away the loneliness she's hiding. I can tell. It's far from being as empty and hopeless, but those were the same eyes I had when I finally came to accept that my family was dead. The eyes of someone who has faced the truth of their situation.
"It was challenging, at times. But I always enjoyed myself because of how fun it is to spend time with them. Which is why when they finally graduated and left me as the only remaining school volunteer, I felt rather lonely."
Her lips, while still smiling, are trembling a bit. I could tell she's fighting to hold back her tears as she takes a deep breath, composing herself, before continuing.
"When Mr. Hirashi said he found someone who wanted to join as a volunteer, I was absolutely elated. I thought that with you here, we could relive those moments again. But when I met you yesterday, I knew that Mr. Hirashi was probably forcing you to join."
She hit the nail on the head. That saves me the trouble of having to raise the issue myself. Since she understands the gist of the situation, then I guess it's safe to take her up on her offer. I mean, Mr. Hirashi can't punish me if Kurebayashi is the one who told me to no longer continue as a volunteer. Still, I'm curious about one thing.
"If you knew that was the case, then why didn't you refuse me from the start?"
Kurebayashi does not answer right away. She looks down on the ground, like a child caught by their parents trying to do something they're not supposed to do. She takes another deep breath before turning to me with an apologetic smile and eyes engulfed in sadness.
"I wanted to spend at least one day reliving those happy memories with someone. I'm truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me."
She bows her head low to the ground. I immediately grab her shoulders and force her back up. This isn't feudal Japan anymore. You can apologize without humiliating yourself like that. Moreover, I'm not the kind of person anyone should apologize to.
"Don't do that. This isn't something worth bowing so low to me like that. And I understand why you did what you did, so I'm not angry or anything. Just a bit surprised."
A mixture of confusion, surprise, and guilt is strewn across Kurebayashi's face. She clearly wasn't expecting me to have this kind of reaction to her revelation. An eye for an eye, Kurebayashi Reina. Now you know how it feels to have your expectations subverted.
"But I deceived you for such a selfish reason. And I put you through the trouble of doing something you didn't want to do."
I could feel her shoulders trembling through my grip. Were it through any other situation, I would have celebrated my first physical contact with a girl my age. But right now, I have absolutely no idea what I should do. Maybe I should just continue to reassure her? God, please someone help me!
"I'm telling you it's fine, there's nothing to say sorry for. If anything, you should be mad at Mr. Hirashi for this whole mess. Here's an idea, why don't we storm his office right now and tie him upside down?"
This half-serious remark got a chuckle out of her, and it seems she's now gradually calming down. Hey, I'm pretty good at this. Maybe I should put up a business and charge struggling boyfriends money to help them calm their girlfriends down.
She takes a moment to wipe her eyes and regain her composure. Meanwhile, I'm left still reeling from what I just experienced. Going from honest volunteer work to a heart-to-heart is just too much for me this early in the day. I don't think I have enough energy to make it through morning classes, let alone the rest of the day!
Speaking of which, I somehow completely forgot we were in school and had classes to get to in a couple of minutes.
*DING DONG DING DONG…*
Scratch that. We have classes to get to now!