Man. Waiting rooms. Long time. He could only be able to sit for so long, he had to move. He was always charged with so much energy. Move, move, move! He went to go see the secretary again. When she opened the door to speak, he held the door and snuck a kiss from her.

Probably not a good chance she was interested, but he'd seen crazier things. Yeah, she was mad, and closed her window again. He waited beside the window for the next person who came up. Then snuck another kiss again. "So, if I give you a date, can you move my number up? Oh, and do you like my head this small?"

Ooh, she was angry. She just left and another replaced her. So he tried her out. Yeah, she wasn't interested either, but she did bring his number up faster. "Thanks," he said, "but do I look good with a small head?" No answer yet.

Bummer. Maybe he didn't look good with a small head.

"Hey?" Beetlejuice was renting an office now, his business was actually starting to make some decent ground. Things were going well, but he just saw Lydia Deetz cross by it. Which was impossible. Unless she died? He went after her.

She was sulking on the ground.

"Uuh?" She seemed very alive still. "Hey, did you die?" She didn't answer. He came closer to her. She couldn't see him. "What is this?" He could feel how horribly sad she felt. Someone hurt her feelings. "Miss Shannon." He didn't know it. He wished he did. He wished he knew why he cared too.

She eventually faded away, but he still felt bummed out. Strange.

It was far from the last incident though. Several times had he caught Lydia crossing his office. She was either super sad or super happy. One or the other extreme. Getting tired of guessing and knowing he never saw anything that batshit crazy in the handbook, he had to go deeper.

He went back to the waiting room, and tried to ask for help with the problem of seeing the living. It took a good six months before Juno finally met with him. She was just as terrible at busting his balls now as she was back then. "Look? Let's leave all the conflict of the past out of this. Just a client here. I just need an answer."

"You!" Juno still wasn't happy. "Are you kidding me? If so, this is the longest running joke ever, and your worst bit so far."

"Well, the academy award winner doesn't go to me," Beetlejuice insisted. "What's it all mean?"

Juno touched the bridge of her nose. "It means. That you. Care."

Care? "Care about what?"

"You never care about anything," she griped. "Are you sure you are seeing that girl at her highest highs and lowest lows?"

"Yeah. So what is it, and why am I the only one seeing this stuff?" he had to ask.

Juno still didn't look pleased. "You are repulsive. You're a disease."

"Thanks, but why am I the only one seeing this stuff?" he asked again.

"Ungrateful and so stupid." Juno took a very deep breath, emitting smoke. "You are seeing a connection between you two. Apparently, for some reason, it's strong."

"Okay? What do I do with that?"

"You don't do anything with it," she answered. "You recognize it for what it is."

Recognize? "You haven't told me a thing yet Juno, you are pretty pathetic at your job. How can I use this for my advantage?"

That got her. "It means that you found a connection with a human which is great and terrible! It's terrible because you, of all people, of any person in the Neitherworld, are definitely not worthy of it." She moaned. "You. Basically. Found a soulmate, Beetlejuice."

Hm. "Is that because of the whole wedding thing?"

"No," she answered. "It's no gimmick. She should, over time, make you better. Somehow. Then eventually one day, she'll be your future, if you don't scare her off. If you do win her over you'll spend a good deal of eternity with her." She took another drag of her cigarette. "You might not just escape the prison of your own making. You might be able to move to the great beyond. A happy ever after. Like you deserve one? Now, get out."

Soulmate? "That Lydia I almost married?" Damn. He did feel a tight connection the first time he saw her. She actually could get him out. He didn't care about the great beyond crap, just the other part. Interesting. "So, I need to get back to her."

"A little hard. You're dead, and I guarantee the Maitlands will not be calling you anytime soon again."

Hmmm . . .

The Living World . . .

"He needs to stop it," Barbara insisted to Adam. "Just look at him." She pointed to the model of Winter River again. "We aren't calling you," she shouted at it. "We are just fine without you, and we are living peacefully with everyone here."

"That's telling him, Barbara," Adam said, tagging along the scolding behind her. "You get out of here."

Beetlejuice was a teeny tiny guy next to a grave stone. "Got a proposition," he yelled so they could hear him.

"We don't want to hear about it," Barbara insisted. "Just go back to wherever you were."

"I can get you through the time being stuck in this house," he yelled again. "Get out early card, just for you two."

"What, you can do that?" Adam was willing to listen.

"Yeah."

"Is that because you used to work with Juno?" Adam asked.

"You wouldn't just offer that. We even went and sandwormed you three years ago," she said. "Why would you help?"

Three years? Time always flies. Eh, no difference. "Fine, okay? There's no gimmick. I just like it here. I like the people in the house." It would be a lot easier to speak to Lydia from right there in the model.

Barbara and Adam both looked at each other.

"We are willing to listen," Adam said. "There won't be any shenanigans though, it's just us."

"Just us," Beetlejuice agreed. Come on. There was no way they could risk not using this loophole. They weren't going to find another way.

"Fine. I'll write a note real quick where we'll be." After she wrote it, Barbara sighed before saying his name three times.

"It's a DIY thing," Beetlejuice said as he knocked on the door of the lovely new secretary. She shirked backward again when he saw her. "Hey. I need an issue 49Y paper."

She eyed him. "What do you need that paper for?"

"It's a DIY paper. You can't keep me from getting a hold of it." Especially now. "If you do, I'm just going to wait for Juno. You know how much she'll love to hear that."

She angrily handed it to him. "It's illegal to work on that paper for anyone and exchange money."

"Yeah, I know. It's a gift." He sat back down and started to fill it out. He asked them a few things, and like he thought, it was sliding through. Everything was getting answered. "Were you happy with your house?"

"Oh yes, we loved our house," Barbara said. "It was wonderful, but we want to move on from it."

"It's been three years, she's more grown now. You stayed friends with Lydia?" Beetlejuice asked. "Close friends? Did she feel like a daughter you raised?"

Both of them awkwardly smiled.

"She was a really sweet kid and she's growing up so well. I guess, a part of us feels like her parents," she admitted.

Bingo, yep. Death satisified that need to have children that they had. It was a lurking piece that might have hindered them for another 100 years or so. Lydia helped with that part. It was a big part.

He took the paper back to the secretary. "Hey, Doll. I need a 49Y-A."

Once again, she was steamed. "You cannot legally work on that for any kind of compensation, without being a part of the caseworker's team."

"No compensation. I'm just a genuinely nice guy," he answered. "Paper already." He filled it out again, a lot of the same questions, and some with new twists. In the end, it was filled out. He went to the secretary again. "So, I need a Rush R-190." This is where it would get difficult, but he'd still pull through.

"That is illegal for the waiting room to hand out," she insisted. "You can't have Rush R-190. You aren't even part of a caseworker's team." She shut her window door on him.

He knocked on the window again, and pulled Barbara in front of him. It made her almost stumble. "Here, put it in her hands." Then it wouldn't be in his hands. "She'll fill it out."

"She doesn't even have a position on the staff," the secretary answered.

Hmm. "Okay, I need an I-58," he said. "She'll fill it out."

"It has to be approved for it to be official!" She was losing her temper at him.

"There's no Neitherworld law that states she can't be given an I-58. It's the right of everyone to have a shot," he said.

"What in the world are these last two papers?" Barbara asked him.

The secretary was really angry, but she couldn't fight it. Barbara filled it out, while Beetlejuice worked on the secretary.

"So? You are a real good secretary," he said. "It's just that, you messed up. You did something illegal. Once it's known, you're gonna lose your job, and that's another what, 100 years down the drain for your payment of suicide?" He knew why she worked there. "Or? You can approve this I-58."

"What? What did I do wrong?" Her anger turned into fear. No one wanted to lose 100 payment years.

"You never gave me an IO- 101002 with the 49 Y, and the 49 Y-A." It was the paper that made him state why he was doing the paperwork for free. It was a small memo paper, often missed when it rarely did come up.

"The little memo." She rolled her eyes. She took Barbara's paper she was still filling out, and stamped it. "Fine. You are a temporary member, but I am just a secretary, my permission is barely anything here. It's emergency only, it gives you 2 hours."

"Great. She wants a Rush R-190," Beetlejuice said. The secretary gave it to Barbara. "Fill it all out." It shouldn't be hard, just the basics. An R-190 was a summoning paper to immediately take them, instead of a usual five year wait looking over the fine details. Nothing moved fast in the Neitherworld without a Rush R-190.

"This is all so complicated." Barbara kept filling it out. "Why does the Neitherworld need to know my favorite pet's name? First and last?" She groaned but kept going.

The secretary immediately grabbed it. "Wait right here."

"This won't take long," Beetlejuice said. He watched as a group of five big guards showed up. He gestured to Barbara and Adam. "These two."

The guards came toward Barbara and Adam.

"Ready?" Beetlejuice asked. "They are ready, you gotta go."

"But, this fast?" Barbara was grabbed by one of them while Adam was grabbed by another two. "We didn't even get to say goodbye."

"It works real slow down here, don't jeopardize the papers you just filled out." The loophole wouldn't stay open for long. "Take them, they are ready. Don't worry, you wrote a letter."

"But, all I said was we were leaving to find a loophole," Barbara said. "That's not a goodbye."

"Yeah. I'll say it for ya." He waved at them both being carried away. Ha! Suckers. Sure, they were able to move on, but he wasn't just being nice. They were blocking his way to interact with anyone else in that house.

Now, he'd finally see her. Eventually, she'd come up.

Really? Were they kidding? It wasn't Lydia who came up to see him. It took a whole two days before someone came up, and it was Delia Deetz.

She picked up the letter. "Dear Deetz', might have found a loophole to leave the house. If we are gone, don't ever come in this room again, You-Know-Who is here."

Ah, no, a warning?!

Delia looked toward the blinking lights of his grave. She just gave a small chuckle. "Doesn't matter. Lydia went off to college. You won't get your hands near her again." She took the paper and left.

College? College?! "Sorry Sack of Shits!" Ahhh! "I did something nice for nothing?!" They just used him again. Really. Just like when he showed him what ghosts could do. Just like when he went and saved them, just to be sent back again. Used again.

Lydia had moved to college. Delia and Charles Deetz were the only ones there. He felt her through extreme emotions, but he couldn't see where she had been. In his vision, she was always just haunting the Neitherworld. His only hope would be her wanting to come visit again for the holidays, and maybe Delia would forget to tell her he was up there in the model?

She'd do that eventually? Right?