The door swings open, and Theo rises with me as Soren enters. The knight blinks a few times upon seeing a slave in my study, sitting and 'having tea' with the princess. It is the only expression betraying his shock, replaced with a hardened gaze, and his back somehow straightens further.
"Sir Soren, what brings you here this morning?" I enquire before he can address with: 'Your Highness.'
Was he puffing out his chest? Did he deem Theo a threat? The way they looked at each other was intense. The pair watched each other, their gazes locked in some weird battle I had no intention of figuring out.
Though shock and worry prickled my body, I was already masking my features. I hoped I was wrong, but my intuition rarely failed. Adding Theo's reactions into the mix confirmed it—Soren was the man from last night. So, did Theo only carry me back to my chambers?
From the guilt-stricken expression on Soren's face, it was highly possible my knight regretted what we'd done enough to hand me off to Theo like we might catch alight if we touched longer. After a quick bow, the door closed behind Theo. Soren's expression was schooled once more as he bowed and came closer.
He dropped to one knee, his large hand clenched over his chest. "My lady, I know my words will not turn back the hands of time, nor will it ease the burden I have placed upon you. Yet, I beg of you to hear me…" His head lifted, and his hazel eyes slowly rose, finding mine. "By my honour, what little I now have of it, I swear this—every word I speak is true. I am deeply and truly sorry."
This is awkward. My lips parted and shut multiple times like a fish out of water. I stop floundering and finally answer, "I should be the one apologising to you." Still, I would not articulate anything more than that.
I'd already said too much to Theo. Now, I was just being cautious. This was not the first time I ditched this man. But I can sense this is not what he speaks of.
Soren shook his head, anguish rippling across his features. "Your Highness. Please, remove my canines for the sins I have committed."
"What?!" A gasp leaves me as I stare at him. "Your canines?!" That was a punishment for fallen knights. "Soren!"
"I can also renounce my knighthood. I will offer anything to right my wrong."
"R-renounce…" I inhale deeply, trying to regain my composure. "No, I do not wish for any of that-"
Soren hung his head further, nodding in agreement, making the tight string of tension in my chest unravel. "You're right. It's not enough-"
"Wait, that's not what I meant-"
"Would taking my life be better?" His head snapped up, utterly serious; it was incredulous.
"Sir! It was consensual, yes?" I knew Soren was strict, but this was too much!
"You did not know what you were doing. You were in heat, Your Highness, and I touched you."
My eyes widened as his words recalled some of last night's memories.
"Please." I'd whimpered, my voice husky and almost unrecognisable. "I need your touch."
Soren's lips trailed down my bodice, and he kneeled before me, peeling back my skirts, staring back at me, his silver mask unable to hide those smouldering hazel eyes that made my throat dry. Then his mouth was on me, and my legs shook from the current of energy that zapped through me from that single, most intimate touch.
My fingers threaded through his dirty blond locks, pushing away and clutching at him not to leave. I was so incredibly sensitive that it had been hard to stay still.
Clearing my throat, I focus on the knight before me, heat rising to my cheeks from what we'd done. I glance at his mouth. The mouth that had caused me to act so feral, losing myself to those sensations. "It was only after I…" Begged for your touch. "Ordered you to."
Soren scoffed, his eyes locking with mine. "You did not order me to do anything. I was unable to restrain from my most basic instinct." I flinched. I do not know why the term instinct unsettled me. Yet that's all this had been for both of us.
Shaking my head slightly, I held my hand up. There was an opportunity here; I could sense it.
"Forget all of this." Soren frowned from where he still remained, kneeling in front of me. It was highly distracting, reminding me of how he had happily dropped to his knees and used that skilled mouth on me. "I do not need you to remove your canines or, heavens forbid, kill yourself. But you can do something else for me."
"Anything, Your Highness." He watched me like I might grant him air to finally breathe again. He was seeking penance through me. We are both adults, and I may have a higher standing—actually, that is questionable—but we both consented to an unusual situation that would never happen again. Any pent-up frustrations had been satiated.
I did, however, need something else from him. "Your loyalty." Soren's brows furrowed together. I lowered to the sofa and leaned forward slightly, dropping my voice to a whisper. "I know you serve the Queen Dowager. But this is not something you can report back to her."
"Your Highness, I would not. I have not-"
I held my hand up again. I cannot stomach lies. Could I really trust Soren? We might have been intimate together, but who he supports is already clear. Or perhaps there is a secret Deyanira has on Soren.
Unlike other knights, Soren did not come from a wealthy background. He was not trained in an academy to serve the royals and pack Alphas. Soren was once poor and rose through the ranks swiftly from natural talent and experience on the streets.
"I will not watch you lie to my face-"
Soren's hand wrapped around mine, his face close, eyes glinting sharply. "Do not dishonour me more. I may have broken many rules last night, but I have never reported anything significant to the Queen Mother."
My lips parted as I searched his eyes for deceit. I found none. Suddenly aware of his closeness and the heat encasing my hand. He should not be touching me—alright, he did a lot more than touch last night, but there were no masks here, no night to hide our tryst.
And yet, we remained locked in this stare-off. I relaxed, my hand lowering, and he let it this time. "Okay, I will believe you. But I do not trust you," I admitted. "You are Deyanira's spy."
Soren bowed his head slightly, almost regrettably. "That may be so, but Your Highness, not once have I reported the times you escaped the palace and sought… pleasure in the streets of Ulfstad." The way my jaw dropped must have been comical because his eyes twinkled in mischief.
I knew it had been too easy escaping this place. And the way he said 'pleasure' like last night was not my first tryst! My cheeks burned a bright pink.
"How?" I schooled my features, focusing on what was important. "Why didn't you tell her?"
"If I had, you would have been punished." That is true, I would be sporting many scars by now.
"I just wanted to explore Ulfstad. Meet people, eat their food…" I'd frequent taverns, hidden beneath a cloak, enjoying not being noticed or ridiculed.
"I know," he said softly.
"You pity me," I observed. "That's why you let me leave."
Soren opened his mouth to deny it, but I cut him off. "It doesn't matter—"
"You were never unguarded. You are my charge."
"That's not creepy at all," I hum, and he narrows his eyes. I wonder where he was when I was in the tavern and on the streets, people-watching.
"Look," I said sternly, and he straightened. "Whether you earn my trust or not, just remember this: If word of this reaches Deyanira, you will be the one she never trusts again. You'll be the knight who couldn't control his urges."
Soren's jaw tightened, but I couldn't tell what he was thinking—whether he feared Deyanira or my lack of trust.
"I understand, Your Highness. If I am not punished, then I will be duty-bound to you for life." Once again, Soren was watching me in that serious manner, and guilt and honour of a knight seemed to mix together in those hazel eyes. "Ask anything of me, and I will do it."
"Anything?" My gaze shifts between his. Tension crackles in the air, drawing us closer and shrinking the space between us until the air feels too hot and heavy.
His gaze dips to my lips, and he swallows loudly before determination and a hardness edge into his features again. "Anything."
I stood and walked around the sofa, putting much-needed distance between us. With my back still facing him, I spoke, staring outside the window. "What if it was to report false information to the Queen Dowager?" My words were low like a rat might be standing outside my doors, ready to screech out any betrayal to Deyanira.
I hear his steps before feeling his skin against mine. My head swivels to the side to discover him kneeling again. Soren placed his forehead against the back of my hand, inhaling deeply before sinking the tips of his canines on my wrist, piercing the skin to the point two little droplets of blood pooled around his teeth. He was giving me his oath like the first day he was brought to me.
Unlike that day, the brush of his lips and the sharp pain of his canines send a shiver through my body. It was more intimate than it should feel.
"Then it will be so." His words were nothing more than a whisper, but I felt a wave of loyalty crash through me. The oath and his words about doing anything I wanted gave me a sense of comfort and safety that I had not felt in a long time.
A gasp leaves me when his tongue darts out and licks the two minor wounds on my wrist. It makes me want to squirm, but I resist. Any comfortability also vanishes after his following words.
"I was also summoned here…" He is hesitant, wetting his lips and ridding them of any traces of my blood. "Because the Queen Mother has requested your presence for this evening's banquet."