Swirling my finger on the surface of the water, I soak my aching limbs in a steamy bath. The warmth aids the pain between my thighs; it does little to help the nausea, though. My pale blonde hair flows into the bath, sticking to my skin, acting like a shield to the world, a curtain, just for a while as I place my thoughts together.
Theo carried me back last night after possibly mating with me in the forest. I don't remember much from what happened in the woods, but I am guilt-stricken. Being in heat lures males to mate with a female Were, but it is worse that a slave, Theo, of all people, was the one there that night.
No wonder I have so many marks on my body. He wasn't gentle, that was for sure. Why would he be if he didn't actually want to do it? Who would? I am a pitiful princess, a villainess in some eyes, an enchantress, and a siren in others.
After soaking in self-hatred a moment more, I finally get out of the bath, the water sloshing from my movements, and reach for a towel on the side. "Margarette," I call out.
There is a loud sigh and footsteps on the other side of the door, but I stop her before she can enter. "Bring him here."
Margarette pauses. "Bring who here?" She asks irritably. Understandable.
"Theo."
"Who's that?" I pinch the bridge of my nose, reminding myself Margarette is one of the better people I deal with. Most don't remember the names of slaves. They were either prisoners of war, stripped down and unable to shift, or they were brought from overseas.
"The slave who carried me back last night," I add, clutching the towel to my chest as I lean my forehead against the door, water droplets trickling down my locks and down some of my chest, dropping on the floor. Now that my body is no longer on the verge of overheating into madness, the chill of winter makes me shiver.
"What about him?" Margarette asks. She clearly wasn't listening to me before. I tap my foot impatiently.
"Bring him to my drawing room."
"You don't have a drawing room," Margarette scoffs.
I don't? Oh right. I'm not used to hosting or having guests. What does it matter?! I need details of last night! If I mated with Theo, then it could cause issues going forward; I need to keep him quiet.
"Well, bring him to my study," I order and hear her retreating steps. Once the door to my room slams shut, I exit the water closet and flick through my wardrobe, settling on a high-neck shirt and long skirt combination and boots. Towel-drying my hair, I tie it back into a loose braid before venturing over to my study.
It was the only place I fondly looked after, with its bookcases on one side, pale blue settees and a wooden coffee table on the other with a grand fireplace that Margarette was actually kind enough to light. I stand in front of it, letting the warmth hover against my skin. It was only last night I found it unbearable, and now my hair was damp, and I felt chilly.
The door clicks open, and I stiffen, my hands clutching my arms in front of the fire a moment more before I mentally slap myself for acting a coward. We are all adults here… Except one may have taken advantage of the other. I turned and faced the man I'd grown up with and kept my distance from, the leather choker and silver clasp on his neck a constant reminder of his position as a slave.
Theo had always been a pretty boy, so much so many believed he was a girl when he was younger. We used to be close, but then my mother was beheaded, and things in the palace changed, I changed. I had to put distance between us and protect him once more. Now, I stare at his dashing looks, feeling like a criminal.
"Theo," I greet with a soft smile, noting his white shirt is loose and the top strings dangle in the opening, revealing some of his muscles. The waistcoat from the night before is gone, and his sleeves are rolled up, and his slightly tanned skin is slick with sweat.
Theo bows his head. "Your Highness." My heart pangs at the term. It's always been the same since the day I turned my back on him.
"Margarette, you may leave." I look past his shoulder at the maid, who lingers with the obvious intention to report back to the Queen Dowager. I allowed this much to be shown so there was at least something to report to Deyanira. Once the door closes behind her, I wait until I hear her footsteps fade.
"Would you like any tea or water?"
Theo wordlessly shakes his head, and the awkwardness and obvious discomfort grows between us. "At least take a seat." I gesture to the sofa as I round my desk in front of the windows and sit down.
He stares at the vacant spot for a while as though I'd asked him the most absurd question. "I'll make it dirty."
"Then make it dirty," I counter immediately.
His hesitation only lingers a moment longer before he glances at me, a princess sitting while he, a slave, stands taller. He sits down and glances around, almost like he is nervous until those deep blue eyes find mine, and I am reminded of who I grew up with.
"Why'd you call me here?" Theo asks directly; the hesitation, if any, vanishes as he stares at me.
Why else would I call him here? My gaze flicks between his, and I can tell he is mildly curious. Did last night not mean anything to him?
Blowing out a breath, I decide to pour myself some tea, keeping my hands busy.
"The last I recall, you don't like tea," he addresses me, calling me out for buying myself time with the action.
"That was then. This is now." My gaze is still on the cup, feeling his unwavering gaze assessing my features. We haven't been this close since, well, probably last night, but before that, it had been a long time.
Clearing my throat, I addressed the stifling tension in the room. "About last night… I just need to know, was it… consensual?" His brows furrow. "Did you… Did I…" I look up, trying to think of the best way to say it.
"That's not like you to get tongue-tied," he chuckles, and I am slightly in awe of his face. "Yes, it was consensual. I would not deny helping you."
"Help me." I'd whimpered to him last night. The memory flash is exactly that, a flash of a single moment, but we were pressed together, our bodies heating and then becoming entangled.
"It was consensual…" I murmur and relax, eyes closing briefly before another issue arises, and I open them to see him looking at me curiously. "It was consensual." I lower the cup and stare at him. "You mated with me. Why?"
"M-mated?" Theo's eyes briefly widen, and he sits back, looking down and deep in thought.
"It doesn't matter," I say, realising it was pointless to ask. "I know why."
"You do?" He asks, both amused with something else in his expression I cannot quite place.
"You always spoke about going across the seas…" I know he would never blackmail me over this. But a plan begins to form in my mind, something that might just help me after all. "I will grant you freedom… if you take me with you."
"What…" Theo leans forward, his eyes brighter than before. "Don't be so cruel as to dangle this in front of me, Ida."
Ida. There it is. A slip of tongue from the familiarity he wasn't supposed to have with me. The idea that he believes I would hold such a dream over him like that pinches my chest a little. But how could he not think that when I have been cruel to him?
"I am true to my word," I reiterate, holding his icy stare. He is hopeful and hateful at the same time. "I have not yet come up with the details." Literally, I just came up with it like a genius. "But if you work for me, we can figure it out, and within one week, two or three, we could be gone from here."
Speaking those words aloud is blissful. To leave this ghastly place where I cannot breathe without being told I am my mother's daughter, and I should cease to exist or continue being played like a marionette is beyond a dream. I know it is different for Theo, but for me to leave with him would be an escape, a way to cut ties with who I have been turning into.
"You're serious…" Theo's eyes flick between mine, trying to read me, but he is the only one who ever did so well besides my mother.
I nod once. "Become my personal slave… You won't have to work outside and do horrible jobs. We can figure this out." Seriously, where was this coming from? I am a genius. If only I'd thought about this before I'd mated with him.
"I accept." He readily agreed, then hesitated. "But will you have permission to take me from my duties?"
"Why not? I might be a useless princess, but I am a princess."
A knock resounds in the quiet room, the thud rather hard. "Your Highness. I need to speak to you about last night." That's Soren's deep voice.
But I left Soren at the masquerade; what else could we possibly speak of? Usually, he answered my disobedient behaviour of fleeing my guard with a few days of tense silence. It should be me who apologises…
I gasped like lightning suddenly struck me. I wish it did. Mortification slowly peels my eyes back to Theo, hoping to read something else in his expression. Instead, he smirks. "I will collect my belongings and leave you two to talk."