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How to Toy With the Apocalyptic Lord

aureliyan
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chs / week
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Synopsis
Yan Lidong always thought he would live out a relatively ordinary life, free of trouble. Waking up five years in the future, after the world had been swept by a zombie apocalypse, was certainly not within his expectations. Luckily for him, and unluckily for everyone else, there are still plenty of opportunities to stir up mischief. If they happen to involve the romantic affairs of the nearly omnipotent Lord of the apocalypse, who singlehandedly defeated the zombie king, then so be it. One problem. Yan Lidong might just have an extensive past with the Lord, and the Lord might have been harbouring some rather untoward feelings for many, many years.
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Chapter 1 - An Ordinary Afternoon, an Ordinary Nap

"Tired?"

Yan Lidong was resting his head on the table as he indolently looked beside him–that silly kid was gazing at him gently, bathed in the soft glow of sunlight. It was an exceptionally unremarkable afternoon; the university's library was filled with students who murmured and quietly giggled amongst themselves, lending to the peaceful atmosphere.

"Mhm…" Yan Lidong muttered, struggling to stay awake.

"It's alright, you can sleep. I'll be right here."

"Watch my stuff…"

"Of course. Sweet dreams."

Yan Lidong didn't reply, instead quietly dozing off. In his drowsiness, he seemed to feel someone drape a coat over his back, and then–

The room erupted into screams. Tables and bookshelves were pushed over as people started running. He could barely make out what people were saying amidst the chaos, but he was too tired to get up and find out. He wished that they would quiet down a little. If it was a life-threatening emergency, he wanted to at least die in peace.

As he fruitlessly tried to continue his nap, Yan Lidong faintly felt someone wrap their arms around him. Then, he finally passed out.

Recalling this, Yan Lidong awoke with a start. Ah, so he was still alive. Then had he dreamt all that noise up? Yawning, he lazily turned over–then, he frowned.

In front of him was a rock wall. In fact, everything around him was, save for a gaping hole leading to what seemed to be a forest. He'd definitely fallen asleep in a library, so how did he end up in a cave?

Still somewhat muddleheaded, having just woken up, he wondered if he actually had died; maybe he transmigrated somewhere. After holding out his arms and seeing his familiar hands, however, he scrapped that idea. He absentmindedly laid in place, pondering his circumstances. In reality, he was hoping that somebody would walk in and conveniently explain what was going on to him.

He waited for a few minutes before letting out a resigned sigh. Right, if someone was willing to dump him in a random cave, then they probably didn't care enough to come back and check on him.

Yan Lidong sat up with much displeasure, suddenly coming to the realisation that his clothes were dirty and wrinkled. Given that he had spent who-knows-how-long sleeping in a cave, he didn't think much of it, though his displeasure deepened at his disheveled appearance. Forget it; first and foremost, he needed to find signs of civilisation.

Unfortunately, as he got up, he swore that every bone in his body cracked. His legs gave out and he collapsed onto the ground. He raised an eyebrow–had he seriously fallen into a coma? How long had he been asleep, that his body felt stiffer than a rock?

As Yan Lidong sat in place, his legs unmoving, he once again combed through his memories, trying to figure out what had happened. Something had clearly happened before he fell asleep, but all he could recall were the muffled screams and that protective embrace… Thinking back on it, he wondered if his friend was still alright. Then, he chuckled softly; what was he doing, worrying about someone else? He currently had no clue where he was, what year it was, or even if he was still the same person. To top it off, he was temporarily unable to move.

At that moment, Yan Lidong felt the overwhelming urge to give up and take a nap. He figured that sooner or later, he'd either be rescued or shredded by the local wildlife, and he was only slightly more opposed to the latter option.

Before he could hand over his life to natural selection, however, he suddenly heard voices nearby. He sighed. It seemed the universe was determined not to allow him a peaceful death. Though somewhat reluctant, he had already begun concocting a scheme.

Yan Lidong raised a hand to his face, feeling the smooth skin. Based on touch alone, he surmised that his face was unchanged. He smiled. Great, then his plan would work.

With the little strength he had in his arms, he dragged his body closer to the mouth of the cave. Then, he let out a terrified cry.

As he waited for the voices to get closer, he absently yawned a few more times, making his eyes redden.

"–from this cave, right? Oh, hey! Are you alright?! Any injuries?!" a gruff voice called. It belonged to a muscular man, and though he looked intimidating, his expression was filled with concern.

Yan Lidong was pitifully leaning against the cave wall, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. "No, I think I'm fine, but I was chased here by… I'm not sure what it was, but I–I'm scared…"

The man's naturally stern face softened a bit. "I see you're not from here. Yeah, this town is pretty far out, so there are still some zombies in these places. From the looks of it, you're from the inner cities, huh? Then you've probably never seen them before. Don't worry, though! They're all pretty weak, and the Lord has said that he'll come clean them up soon."

Yan Lidong's expression froze.

The man then turned to call to the person behind him. "Over here, hurry! Poor thing's been frightened pale."

If he hadn't misheard, the man had just mentioned the existence of zombies.

Suddenly, Yan Lidong felt that throwing himself to the beasts was actually a rather appealing choice.

"Seriously, who could possibly be all the way out–oh?" a woman's voice rang out from behind the man. "Gosh, how did such a beauty end up all alone?"

"Will you stop drooling over every good-looking guy you see?" the man chided, rolling his eyes. "And it was probably a zombie attack. Luckily, there are only low-level ones left nowadays."

"All thanks to the Lord and his team. Really, where would we be without them?"

"Why are you so obsessed with the Lord? He's never even publicly shown his face!"

"But his build, and that voice? Gosh, there's no way he's not a stunner! I bet he's just my type," the woman said, before she swept her gaze over to Yan Lidong. "Just like you, kid. If the Lord looked even half as good as you, I'd be satisfied."

Under any other circumstance, Yan Lidong would have modestly brushed off the compliment with a laugh. However, he was still recovering from the mention of zombies. Besides, he was still playing the part of the frightened beauty, so at least his paralyzed expression helped with his act.

"Oh dear, I forgot that you got roughed up by an attack. Your clothes aren't looking too great. We don't have any supplies on us right now, but we could take you to the village, if you'd like?" the woman offered.

Yan Lidong nodded, maintaining a nervous expression. If he was going to properly analyse his situation, then he needed to gather more information. The small bits he gathered from their conversation were insufficient.

"Great, then follow us!" the man said.

Just then, Yan Lidong recalled a certain bit of information. He forcefully squeezed out a few more tears and spoke with a trembling voice, "I… I don't think I can walk."

"Right, you've probably been sheltered throughout the apocalypse. We should've considered that you'd be scared silly," the woman said, her voice filled with pity. She whipped her head around. "Hey, carry him back."

The man scoffed. "I knew it. Stop talking big if you're just gonna make me do the work."

Despite this, he swiftly picked Yan Lidong up the same way one would hold a child. Despite the embarrassing position, Yan Lidong, who had long abandoned his sense of shame, was unperturbed. He was more concerned with sorting out the current state of the world and what to do next.

If their words were to be trusted, then wherever this was, all that mattered was that there were zombies here, and an apocalypse that may or may not be ongoing. Luckily, it was likely that the worst of the apocalypse had blown over thanks to the person they called "the Lord"; based on the name alone, Yan Lidong figured that he had to be an important person.

Before long, they reached the outskirts of a town that Yan Lidong had never seen before. Its architecture seemed similar to those of the modern buildings he was familiar with, though they were almost… more futuristic? Yan Lidong fell into thought. Maybe he really had been unconscious for a while, during which society had gradually developed. He was unsure where the apparent apocalypse fell into the equation, though; exactly what had happened to the world?

"We're here. It probably isn't much to someone like you, but it's enough to get by," the man said, stopping in front of a house.

Yan Lidong continued wearing a pitiful expression, though he noted that it looked like a regular suburban house. Really, how high-bred did they think he was?

"Stay here for now and we'll see if we have spare clothes around," the man said, walking into a guest room and helping Yan Lidong settle into the bed.

"Thank you. I'll be sure to repay your hospitality," Yan Lidong replied, his voice still trembling slightly.

"No need! Just seeing your face is enough compensation," the woman called from outside the room.

"Stop teasing him, Botany! He looks like he's about to break out into tears," the man yelled. He shook his head and sighed as he turned back. "Sorry about my sister–what's up with your face? How did you get even paler?!"

Yan Lidong's expression was completely frozen over. "Sorry, I think I misheard. What did you call her?"

"Oh, my sister? Haha, yeah, people always say she's too pretty to be related to an oaf like me. Our baby brother looks just like her, though!"

"I meant… her name," Yan Lidong clarified, adjusting his expression to a more neutral one.

"All of the evolvers get weird names… no way, you've never met someone who's evolved before?" the man asked, frowning. "Nah, if you're from the inner cities, you have to had… actually, I guess that even among those names, Botany is still a pretty stupid one. She's never cared much, though, so I've never thought much of it."

Yan Lidong began to catch on to the man's words. He smoothly recovered, "The inner cities are teeming with evolvers. Botany is just a very… unique name."

The man laughed raucously. "Figures! What was I thinking–you must've been protected by those guys this whole time, how could you not have met one? I guess the names are comparatively pretty normal where you're from, but hey! Getting a silly name is a small price to pay for getting powers. Shame that Botany's got a pretty low-level skill; she can accelerate plants' growth, but by a miniscule amount. Oh well, one family can't produce two prodigies."

Yan Lidong hesitantly gave the man a once-over.

The man immediately caught on. "Oh, I'm not the prodigy. I'm not even an evolver. That'd be our baby brother."

"Ah, I wasn't doubting you," Yan Lidong reassured him, smiling as he blatantly lied. "But I haven't caught your name yet, so I wasn't sure if you were evolved or not."

The man's face was stone-cold. "He Jiuyu."

…So it really was just the evolvers who got stupid names. Yan Lidong breathed a silent sigh of relief, though–at least there were still ordinary civilians around. If he had to pretend to have powers… he wasn't sure where he could even begin. He had no clue what the evolvers were capable of, and as a regular person, he didn't want to take any chances.

He fell into thought. Based on the name Botany and how she manipulated plants, it seemed that names were assigned based on what their powers did. Since He Jiuyu mentioned that she was low-level, the evolvers were segmented into different tiers based on their capabilities. Those who were high-level were likely situated in the "inner cities", which the siblings had very naturally assumed Yan Lidong to be a part of.

"Right, now that you know ours, what's your name? And how'd you end up here?" He Jiuyu asked.

"Yan Lidong," he replied straightforwardly. If he were someone important, he may have chosen a fake name, but he doubted anyone cared enough about him to try tracking him down. He then recalled the role he was playing, making sure to shrink his shoulders and speak in a lowered tone. "I'm not too sure how I got here, either. I was out doing errands when a group of people suddenly started chasing me, and then…" he shook his head. "That's all I remember. It's pretty clear that they got to me, but I don't know what they wanted."

Surprisingly, He Jiuyu immediately nodded. "Yeah, I figured. You match the description of the person that the Lord is searching for almost perfectly."

Yan Lidong started. He wanted to ask further, but hesitated. Surely someone as powerful as the Lord would've made a public notice if he was searching for someone, so asking would be suspicious. How bothersome–he hated being high-profile. It seemed he had to cover up his face just to walk the streets normally.

"Surprised, right? Not many are privy to this, since he's never been public about it, but there's somebody who's always had the Lord's heart. Only those who have been with him for a while–or some people with back channels–know about it. That's how we could tell you were from the inner cities at a glance. People are always trying to curry favour with the Lord, so for a while, they'd find people like you to protect and groom into offerings. As soon as the zombies settled down, they were sent to the Lord's doorstep in hordes to try and seduce him. Of course, he took strict action against the frauds and their protectors, so you were probably left to your own devices once you lost your worth," He Jiuyu explained, his face glum. "I guess your kidnappers were delusional enough to think they'd end up any differently. Maybe you match that person's looks too closely? I've never seen his pictures, though, so I can't be sure."

Yan Lidong looked up, surprised. So the Lord was keeping information about that person under wraps? He also didn't expect that he would fit the description so well, but thankfully, it seemed to lend his story credibility.

Nevertheless, it seemed he still had to do something about his face. He was eye-catching enough to begin with, and he wasn't interested in actually getting kidnapped and sent to the Lord–whoever he was.

"Ah, sorry for scaring you, kid," He Jiuyu said, noticing Yan Lidong's silence. "We won't try to profit off of you. The thing is, we were planning to visit our baby brother in the inner cities, so we could take you back with us, if you want. It'd be no skin off our backs. We're about as well off as you can get in the apocalypse."

Yan Lidong nodded, mentally noting that He Jiuyu and Botany seemed much less ordinary than he initially thought. "I'm sorry to trouble you guys. I'll pay you back as best as I can."

He Jiuyu laughed. "Don't sweat it! My sister needs to save every hottie she comes across. Anyways, you can borrow this room for now, and we'll head out in a few days' time. I take it you don't have anything on you?"

"Nothing. My kidnappers must have stripped me clean."

"Man, you've been through the wringer. You can borrow some of my brother's old clothes, then. Rest up, and call us if you need anything."

The second He Jiuyu left the room, Yan Lidong collapsed face-first onto the bed in exhaustion, letting out a muffled groan.

He still had far too little information. There was nobody he could turn to for help, so there was no telling if he could survive once he was in the inner cities; not that he knew what those were, either. Besides–

"Chen Xie…" he muttered, eyes lowering. They were together during that commotion, so what happened to him?

Yan Lidong shook his head. No, that wasn't the thing he was most concerned about.

The worst part of his situation was that he was incredibly, incredibly bored. Bored beyond all belief.

He shook out his legs, feeling the numbness had partly subsided, then swiftly got up from the bed. Moping about was easy, but if he didn't want to pass out from boredom, he had to find as much information as he could.

The first thing that caught his eye was a garishly colourful calendar covered in cartoon characters. Squinting in displeasure, he slowly got closer to read the date.

Then, once again, his legs gave out.

The year the calendar displayed was five years in the future.