This is the first Christmas that Hannah is spending without her beloved. It feels as if the day has lost that special magic, the joy she shared with him. She is unable to force a smile, even though her mother can see the state she is in. She would like to show that she's okay, that she's somehow managing, but she doesn't have the strength to fight her feelings.
Every day she feels as if she is losing a part of herself. The longer she doesn't see him, the more life escapes her. Now she understands that he is her strength, and when she doesn't have him by her side, she becomes weaker.
She can't live without him.
— Hannah, are you listening to what I'm saying to you? — The girl wakes up from her lethargy and looks at her mother with half-conscious eyes. — I'm starting to worry about you. I see that despite the passage of time, you are unable to heal your broken heart.
If she starts her speech, Hannah is sure she will cry like a baby. Again.
— Because I'm weak, mom. I love him so much that I can't accept the fact that the other day we officially broke up. The worst part is that I'm the one who destroyed our relationship. I will forever remain a person who has head problems. Whether I get treatment or not, these demons will linger with me throughout my life. I will never be happy.
— I worry when you talk like this.
The woman walks over to her daughter and hides her in a maternal embrace.
— Do you think there is a chance that Joseph and I can still be together?
— If you love him and want to fight for him, then do it. After all, you said yourself that he wants you to prove it to him. I think today is the right day to correct your mistakes. The magic of the holidays can work wonders. It seems to me that you would be able to forgive even the person you hate the most. This is just such a day.
The brunette closes her eyelids. For a brief moment she thinks of Danielle, she was able to fight the thugs who wanted to hurt her.
— You're right, mom. This is a special day when people should start forgiving themselves.
And she's sure she'll do it in the next few hours, even if it doesn't have the intended effect. At least she will try so that she won't regret anything later.
*
After spending the day in the company of her mother, Christmas Eve is perfect for meeting friends or a loved one. This year Hannah is single, so at Bella's insistence she agrees to spend at least a little time with people who are close to her heart. She realizes that he will also be there since they have mutual friends, but she can't completely isolate herself from them. Not that day.
It's enough if she stays with them for an hour to exchange gifts. This is an opportunity he can't pass up. She needs to talk to Joseph, she needs it; otherwise she will go crazy.
They say that Christmas Eve is a special day, a day of miracles.
She pulls presents from the trunk of her car and boldly crosses the fence of Tom's house.
At the threshold of the door she is attacked by her best friend. Bella hugs her joyfully, unable to believe that she dared to join them after all, despite the presence of Joseph.
— Is he here yet? — she asks in a whisper as they both head to the living room. — Does he know I'm coming?
— He is, and probably guesses it. You're our friend, so it's impossible for you not to show up.
Hannah takes a deep breath as Bella grabs her hand and in a cheerful voice announces to everyone that she has brought their favorite.
The brunette feels awkward as her gaze finds Joseph. She immediately recalls their last conversation, and tears involuntarily flow into her eyes. She's sure she would have cried in front of everyone if it weren't for Tom, who walks up to her and puts his hands on her shoulders.
— I was momentarily angry with you, but it was because I was misled. You are so sweet, I could not be angry with you for long. — The boy hugs her tightly while Bella collects the gifts from her and sets them under the Christmas tree. — I'm worried about you, would-be wife. — Hannah gets the impression that her friends are watching her closely. — You look miserable. You are half of yourself. Are you eating at all?
The girl forces a slight smile when, for a split second, she notices that Joseph is also looking at her with caring eyes. He doesn't ignore her, though she feared he would.
— You're exaggerating, Tom. I'm fine.
— I don't know... your body looks like a skeleton covered with skin.
Friends see that Hannah is not coping with the current situation, they worry about her, but she is not going to bother them, thinking that she will get better with time.
— Did you guys get carried away with me or what? If something was going on, I would have told you about it. I feel fine. Really — she lies to them, avoiding her ex-boyfriend's gaze. — I feel good enough to come to you guys after all.
Tom leads his friend and makes room for her next to him. He puts his arm around her, trying to give her encouragement, since he can see that she feels bad staying close to Joseph.
— Let's distribute the gifts, I can't stay with you for long. I still have to go somewhere. — She feels her ex-boyfriend's piercing gaze on her, but she doesn't dare to look in his direction.
— Well, of course. She has to go to a friend she trusts.
What does he mean? Why is he angry? After all, he broke up with her. Shouldn't he be indifferent to who Hannah is with now?
— Don't be arrogant, Joseph.
Jin gets up from the couch and crouches by the Christmas tree to hand out presents. The first package that comes into his hands is for Joseph, so he callously throws it at his buddy.
— What's so aggressive?
— You should be handled like this.
They all seem to be beaming with joy as they tear up the paper, but behind Hannah and Joseph's smiles is a sadness that they try to mask from their friends.
They are the only ones who haven't prepared gifts for each other.
— Did you buy me panties with SpongeBob on them? — Jimmy crinkles his eyebrows, wondering what's on Bella's mind. — Do you want to see how they fit me or what?
Tom is furious with the girl for gifting his friend with underwear.
— Is this some kind of subtext? Do you want to sleep with him?
Everyone bursts out laughing, Joseph gets up from the couch and walks away from his friends, heading for the bathroom. Hannah seizes the moment and follows him.
— Wait. — The boy stops in mid-step when they find themselves in the hall. He turns to face her. — Can we talk for a moment?
— And do we have anything to talk about?
— I don't want our relationship to look like this, Joseph.
The boy smiles half-heartedly.
— I am not to blame for this.
— After all, I know, but I can't stand our separation! Every day tears my heart more and more. I suffer because you are not with me.
He tightens his lips, as if trying to control his emotions. He tries to remain impassive and indifferent to her words.
— It's funny because you underestimated me when I was around you — he replies boorishly, putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans. — And now you're telling me how much you miss me.
— We both made mistakes, but we can still fix it.
— We can, I attempted to protect our relationship all along, Hannah, but you screwed up all the way. Last time, I told you what you could do to prove to me that you still cared. I was even able to give up everything for you, and you stabbed me in the back. Even then, you didn't trust me.
Hannah tightens her eyelids, from under which tears flow.
— Today is a special day when people can forgive each other for everything. Why can't we?
— Because I care too much about you for me to be able to just forgive you. This day, the holidays will pass, the gray reality will return, and you will still treat me as a person in whom you have no support. You said I'm the same as my father, so how can you be in a relationship with me? Do you want to end up like my mother? Love blinds you, but you need to have a clear mind. You certainly don't have one.
The brunette opens her mouth, watching as he turns his back on her and heads toward the bathroom. He closes the door behind him, and she leans her shoulder against the wall, unable to believe that these words came out of his mouth.
— You bastard... — she says through clenched teeth, while tears run down her cheeks. — Why did I fall in love with you, exactly? Why couldn't I love a man with a heart!
She leaves the house without saying goodbye to her friends, who appear in the hallway summoned by Hannah's shouts.
Joseph, who is leaning with his back against the bathroom door, takes a deep breath to control his emotions. He calms down and returns to them, assuming an indifferent expression.
— Do we open the wine?
Tom shakes his head.
— I have a giant urge to throw you out of the house, but I'll take pity since it's Christmas Eve, donkey.
*
What Christmas, what weather, thinks Hannah as she sits behind the wheel of the car, watching the raindrops trickle down the windshield.
So far, she's been confident that she and Joseph will be able to reach an agreement that day, but he's as cold as ice, Hannah can't do anything. Whenever she tries, there is no way she can convince him to mend their relationship. He would rather not forgive her, even on such a special day.
The girl turns on the windshield wipers and looks at the squalid building where her sister is staying. She doesn't understand why just today, when she lives with her mother daily? Could it be that the woman threw her out of the house? That's impossible, since she wanted Danielle to return to her at all costs. She even forced her to do so with blackmail, so what happened?
— Why did you want to meet me? — The redhead opens the door and sits next to the twin in the passenger seat. — You decided to forgive me on this Christmas Eve?
— Why are you here alone?
— I hate Christmas, so I can't imagine spending this period in the company of a sadistic mother. When I was fourteen, I sat in the basement all Christmas Eve.
Hannah puts her hands to her mouth, shocked by her words.
— And no one took any interest in this? After all, this woman should not care about you.
— People don't give a shit, even if this monster adopted me. Money is power. — She leans with her elbow against the glass in the door and looks at her sister. — What do you want?
— Reconciliation — she replies simply.
— Actually, you are brain-dead.
— I am serious. We are sisters, we should stick together.
— And play with dolls?
The brunette leans her back against the chair and sighs deeply.
— Let's leave the past behind and start our relationship in an entirely different way.
— It's fallen on your head. I'm going home. — Danielle opens the door and steps outside, heading for the narrow staircase that leads to her apartment. Hannah watches her, regretting that she has such a character as Joseph.
How should she reunite with them?
She is not going to give up. She has to do it today; otherwise she will never again form an alliance with her sister, and she would like to start living agreeing her.
She steps outside and momentarily squints under the heavy rain as she lifts her face and looks toward the stairs. Her sister is standing at the top, and it's barely a moment before she's falling down in front of Hannah's eyes, pushed by a person with a hood imposed on her head.
At first, she is so panicked that she can't move, but everything changes when she sees the perpetrator start to run away. Hannah gets such a kick out of it that she jumps on his back and scratches him all over his face with her fingernails. She holds him tightly, and the aggression, rising in her, makes her unable to stop herself.
With her hand, she begins to pin him down while he tries to get rid of her.
— How dare you touch her, you bastard! — she screams hysterically.
Her adrenaline rush ends the moment she feels the blade on her arm and leg. The burning pain, weakens her, and she lets go of the perpetrator. She falls to the wet surface.
She is horrified by the sight of blood mingling with the rain.
Lying on the sidewalk, she pulls her phone from her jacket pocket and dials an emergency number. In a pained voice, she introduces the situation and gives the woman the address to which they should send an ambulance.
She throws the cell phone into a puddle and, leaning on her healthy hand, struggles to lift herself up. Her tears mix with raindrops as she tries to climb the stairs.
It is a road through agony, but she feels better as she sits down next to her sister and takes her face in her hands. Danielle's eyes are closed, but she is still conscious.
— Sorry, I tried to fight him, but he had a knife. He weakened me.
— I told you we're good for nothing, bitch — she says in a low voice, even indistinct, as the sound of rain deafens her.
Hannah leans her head against the wall, regretting that she has eaten so little lately. If she had more strength, she might have been able to avoid this.
— The twins, however, have some kind of special bond, since you wanted to meet me — mutters Danielle.
— No matter how we hate each other, you are my sister and I will always stand up for you.
The brunette closes her eyelids, feeling the raindrops running down her face.
This is the worst Christmas of her life. A bloody Christmas.