Ye Shengtao's entire bovine body stiffened even more as Fergio began running around in wild circles, flailing his arms as if the very fabric of reality had unraveled before him. His golden armor clanked in a series of disjointed notes, completely out of tune with the serene forest around them. The calm of the clearing was shattered by the hero's outbursts as he shouted incoherent phrases about curses and demons.
"I-I must be cursed!" Fergio gasped, clutching his head as if the realization itself was a blow to his mind. "The cow—no, the demon cow—it speaks! What dark sorcery is this?"
Ye Shengtao stared at him, utterly unimpressed.
He could feel the annoying presence of the system floating beside him, shaking with amusement as her translucent form flickered with glee.
"Oh, this is gold," she giggled. "This hero is a complete idiot! And to think, he's supposed to save the world. Priceless!"
"Please," Ye Shengtao muttered under his breath, "do not encourage him."
But the system only giggled louder, clearly enjoying the chaos. Ye Shengtao suppressed a groan, knowing that this situation was rapidly spiraling out of control. As much as he hated this ridiculous world and its absurd characters, he couldn't afford to blow his cover now.
He needed to remain inconspicuous—or as inconspicuous as a talking cow could be.
Fergio, meanwhile, had stopped his mad dashing around and was now hyperventilating, bent over with his hands on his knees. His eyes were wide with shock, and his face had turned an unhealthy shade of red. "I... I must be hallucinating," he whispered. "A cursed forest, yes, that's it. The trees, the mist—it's all part of some wicked illusion!"
Ye Shengtao's tail swished irritably, brushing away a persistent fly.
Oh great, he thought, now he's going to talk himself into some grand delusion.
"You know," Ye Shengtao said dryly, "you could just calm down for two seconds and listen."
At his words, Fergio's head snapped up, his eyes locking onto Ye Shengtao's once again. There was a flash of terror followed by a strange, childlike wonder in the hero's expression. "You really can talk," he whispered. "This... this is incredible! A talking cow... What ancient magic could have—"
"Yeah, yeah, magic, curses, dark forces—whatever," Ye Shengtao interrupted, growing increasingly impatient. "Look, can we just skip the part where you question the very nature of reality and focus on something a little more important? Like, for instance, me not getting turned into steak?"
Fergio blinked, clearly struggling to process the situation. His mouth opened and closed several times as if he were trying to form words but failing miserably. Ye Shengtao's eyes narrowed in annoyance as he took a step forward, his hooves crunching the underbrush beneath him.
"Here's the deal," Ye Shengtao said, his voice calm but firm. "I'm not here to hurt you. In fact, I was just minding my own business before you stumbled upon me. All I want is to avoid trouble. So, if you're still interested in finding that village you mentioned, I can take you there."
Fergio's eyes widened. "You… you'll help me?"
Ye Shengtao sighed inwardly.
Honestly, what choice do I have at this point? he thought.
If he could guide Fergio away from the landlady and the collapsed shed where Zhao Dong had met his unfortunate end, then maybe—just maybe—he could slip away without getting roped into any more ridiculous situations.
"Yes," Ye Shengtao said, his voice flat. "I'll help you."
But we're going to go away from where I just came from.
Fergio stood up straighter, his expression softening into something that resembled awe. The initial shock of a talking cow seemed to have worn off, and now he was looking at Ye Shengtao as if he were some kind of divine guide. "You are truly a noble creature," Fergio said with reverence. "I see now that you were sent to me by the gods themselves. I will follow you, wise one."
Ye Shengtao nearly choked on his own spit. Noble creature? Wise one? Was this guy serious? He was just a disgruntled cow trying to survive in a world that wanted to grill him up for dinner.
The system, of course, couldn't let the moment pass without chiming in. "Looks like you've just been promoted to divine bovine status," she teased, floating next to him. "Who knew you'd end up as the hero's spiritual guide?"
"I will headbutt you into the nearest tree," Ye Shengtao muttered darkly, glaring at the giggling system. But she just waved him off with a smirk.
Fergio, blissfully unaware of Ye Shengtao's internal frustration, was already standing at attention, ready to follow wherever his newfound 'guide' would lead him. With a resigned sigh, Ye Shengtao turned and began walking in the opposite direction of the landlady's shed. He made sure to keep his pace steady, his hooves sinking softly into the damp earth as he trotted through the forest. Fergio followed close behind, his heavy armor clinking with each step, adding an unwelcome soundtrack to their journey.
The trees grew thicker as they moved deeper into the forest, their branches intertwining above, casting long shadows that danced across the ground. The occasional beam of moonlight filtered through the canopy, illuminating their path in silvery light. Despite the chaos of the last few minutes, the quiet of the forest was oddly soothing—at least until Fergio opened his mouth again.
"So," the hero said, his voice filled with curiosity, "where do you come from, noble cow?"
Ye Shengtao fought the urge to roll his eyes. "I come from the same place as every other cow," he deadpanned. "A barn."
Fergio seemed genuinely surprised by the answer, as if the idea of cows coming from barns had never occurred to him before. "Ah, of course," he said, nodding to himself. "The humble beginnings of a great creature such as yourself. How fitting."
Ye Shengtao let out a long, suffering sigh. "Yep. Very humble," he muttered.
They continued walking in silence for a few more minutes, the forest growing denser around them. Ye Shengtao could hear the distant sound of running water, a stream perhaps, but he wasn't interested in stopping. All he wanted was to get Fergio to a village far enough away from the landlady and then slip away quietly before anyone else tried to recruit him for more nonsense.
"So, wise cow," Fergio said after a while, "what do you think of the villain? The dark one who threatens our kingdom?"
Ye Shengtao stopped in his tracks, turning to give Fergio a long, tired stare. "Villain? Dark one?"
Fergio nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! The evil that plagues this land, threatening to plunge us all into eternal darkness! Surely you, with your ancient wisdom, have some insight into how to defeat it?"
Ye Shengtao blinked. He had no idea who or what Fergio was talking about, but at this point, he figured it was safer to play along. "Uh… sure," he said slowly. "My insight is… don't get yourself killed."
Fergio looked absolutely thrilled. "Ah! A simple yet profound truth! You truly are a wise and noble creature."
Ye Shengtao groaned inwardly. I need to get rid of this guy before I lose my mind.