Everything felt blank. I could'nt hear anything except for the extreme wind blocking my ears as I fell from the height. The only thing I could see was the night sky illuminated with stars. 'Stars' just like my name, 'Estelle'. The beautiful name that was given to me by my loving mother and the name that would now be rolled around in the dirt. All because of me. 

I never expected things to be turned out this way, even after I ignored everything and stopped interfering in their business. But I guess fate can't be changed and this? this was my fate. As I felt the ground and my death creeping near I couldn.t help but think back to my life. What had I even done in my life. I never cared for myself and only wished for other's happiness... His happiness. 

When I was 10, I was engaged to him who was the same age as me. I didn't even go to high school and stayed at home training to become the perfect wife. I did everything I could to be loved by him but I was never able to bring change in his hateful gaze. He would find everyway to avoid me and there would never be any appreciable words on his tongue for me. I worked hard to be acknowledged by him but i was always pushed aside. When our marriage date was set, I was happy because I thought that maybe after marriage he will see my efforts and will realize how much I loved him and care for me. 

It was all a delusion. A delusion I had trapped myself in. I thought that if I showered him with my love he would also love me back, but that was never possible. I should've given up but I was hopeless before the love I had for him.

A year after our marriage, he bought a woman back home. She was beautiful and had her arm wrapped around his. I was shocked because he never let me touch him, let alone be close to him. But that wasn't even the most shocking thing. He was smiling. He would occasionally give out a little laugh while talking to her. It was obvious, he loved her. Now it was impossible for me to be the one his love was directed to. All my life I had never EVER seen him smile, but now he was smiling to every word that was coming out of her mouth.

I ignored them. There was nothing else that I could do. I let them do what they wanted. Soon that woman moved into our house and was probably also in the same room as him. I didn't know because I was not allowed on the floor where they stayed at.They would often go out for dinner and outings, leaving me in that house filled with servants. But I let it go. i let it go because atleast I was living in the same house as him, if you call that living, that is. I hated how pathetic that thought of mine was but I still didn't do anthing about it.

And then that day came, the day when things truly went downhill.

 They had gone out for dinner that night but only he returned. I was in the kitchen getting some water when I heard him enter the house. I stepped out of the kitchen only to find him alone.. and drunk. Due to they way he was acting it seemed that they had had an argument. I shoud've left him just like that and gone back to my room but my stupid heart took over my actions and I walked towards him. For the first time ever since our marriage I touched him and made him sit on the sofa. He was very drunk and it seems he could'nt recognize me. I handed him some water. He tooked the glass and after takinga few sips he started staring at me as if trying to recognize me. After a few seconds, he finally said some words that I wish he hadn't even said at all.

"Is it you... Rosa?", I was completely taken aback because Rosa was the name of the woman he loved. "R-Rosa is it really you? Oh I knew you would be here. I'm sorry Rosa, I will listen to you I will make our child my heir don't worry I don't want to sadden you". He was holding my hands but I couldn't think straight anymore. Baby? Rosa was pregnant? and what was this about making their child the heir? I was his wife. It should be my child that should become the heir. I tried to free my hands from his grip but his grip only kept on getting tighter. "Are you running from me Rosa? No I won't let you, not anymore." He said that and pulled me towards his room.

I tried my best to separate myself from him but I could'nt no matter how much I tried. Before I could do anything he pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my clothes. No matter how much I cried and screamed he didn't stop and penetrated me. The more I struggled the rougher he got. It got so painful that I was probably bleeding as well. It went on for nearly the whole night and i also ended up losing my consciousnes. When I woke up, I barely had any strength and I did my best to get up. He was still asleep and the whole bed was sticky with the forceful orgasms he gave me. I gathered my strength and cleaned myself up in the bathroom. Then I also cleaned the bed to remove all the traces of last night's activities because I had a feeling that he would rage out if he found out.

That day passed as if forgotten. Rosa returned back home. He probably convinced her and now they were back to their lovey dovey life, though he was taking even more care of her, probably because of the baby. Around two weeks after that, I suddenly woke up in the morning feeling extremely sick. I rushed to the bathroom and threw up the dinner from night before. The sickness went on for days and then I decided to finally visit a doctor. What the doctor said was torturing for me. I was two weeks pregnant. I didn't know what to do and returned back home. It was all an unfortunate accident, that was now gonna haunt me my whole life. I kept the baby a secret for sometime, but one day, somehow, rosa found my pregnancy report and she told him about it. Even though we lived as I didn't exist he got really enraged and furious that day. He called me a slut and called me dirty without knowing that the child was actually his own. The whole family then found out about it and it even got out into the public. Everyone knew me as a dirty whore who slept with other men behind her husband's back and even got pregnant. They didn't listen to me and the depression led me to starving myself. The servants took me to the hospital where the doctor told me that I had nearly lost my baby. I was so scared I didn't know what to do. I was then admitted in the hospital because I could't take care of myself at home. A few days passed and one evening when I was on the rooftop of the hospital to pass time, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned to find Rosa standing there. Her belly had started showing already giving proof of the child she had with him. She told me that I had ruined 'his' reputation and said that it was time that it was time that I left his life completely. I was really confused. She stepped forwards in my direction making me slowly step back until i was touching the railing. 'Ah', I thought. 'So it is finally time. She is about to end my life'. I then remembered the little life growing inside me and tried to run away but she suddenly stepped forward and pushed me off. 

I clenched my belly tight even though there was nothing that was going to save it. I could.t even get myself to cry. As I hopelessly fell I thought that if I was given a second chance at this life, I would never run after him anymore. I.. I will make him regret for doing that to me. For ruining my life he was going to regret, he, Renier Holstein, was going to regret it.

And I hit the ground.