XX.XX.XXXX?
Theo waited for a moment before actually responding. The wind picked up, and raindrops began to fall, cold against his skin. "Ethan. I'm sorry but..."
Ethan looked at him, his voice barely above a whisper. "You don't love me like that, do you?"
Theo hesitated, the street lamp casting long shadows between them. "I thought I did. But when you said it... when you said you felt the same, I...". Theo's heart raced, not from excitement, but from fear. The words stuck in his throat, and he wondered why it felt so hard to say them. Why, after all this time, did he feel like he was pushing Ethan away when all he wanted was to hold him closer?
"I don't even understand myself, let alone my feelings. I need time."
Time—and space, was something everyone needed. But the problem was that they could die any day—anyone could—though their chances seemed far higher.
Surprisingly, Ethan smiled, though his eyes held a flicker of sadness. "That's okay. I'll wait—years, if I have to—if it means you might accept them one day." He paused, his voice softening as he added, "I just wish I could kiss you right now."
"You can," Theo whispered, his voice barely audible over the soft hum of the streetlight. "But I wouldn't feel anything."
The words hung between them, cold as the rain that soaked them both, and the distance between their hearts felt greater than ever. In fact, more distance than when they were two worlds apart.
"Are you mad?" Theo asked, the rain soaking his hair and clothes wet,
"I am not, I understand you. But at the same time I feel like you're overlooking how much I care about you. I wish I could tell you everything, though I'm afraid you'd view me differently. I saved your life, and you don't even know that," tears were dripping down his face—or maybe that was the rain. Whatever it was, pain was obvious in his sweet honey brown eyes.
If Ethan were to tell him everything, he must not start not when his life ended and he drifted into the void of infinity, but when a part of him died. No matter, he needed to start when he was five, still a child, though he's still a child in many ways.
He had a life of luxury—a grand home, abundant food, and a comfortable bed. But what he truly lacked was the love a child needs and deserves. His father claimed to love him, but his love was twisted. He never looked at him with the appropriate gaze, instead staring intently at him while he bathed, even though a maid to check up on me was present.
He'd stare intently while he changed to pajamas, saying foolish things like "Don't mind me". Of course he'd mind it, he never had any privacy. He felt caged in his own house.
But why? He would repeatedly ask. The house was spacious, its warmth was welcoming during cold times. Cages, on the other hand, are intended to be small and dirty. So why did he feel caged?
Perhaps, because of how his father would get his clothes off each night and make him do things he'd rather not explain. He was five for the first time.
As for his mother, he never found out what happened to her.
The father had many daughters with different women, though only one lived with them. At seven, he sent Ethan to the orphanage, bored with him.
—
In the orphanage, he met Theo. They clicked instantly, as he trusted him, despite trusting no one before. He made him laugh, and his smile was like the sun, warming him when he felt cold.
When Theo's mother passed, Mrs Agnes lost a lot of money. She decided to use Ethan for her own gain as the amount of money she owned began to decrease rapidly nearly two years later.
One night, she brought Ethan to her room and explain how he'll get fucked, literally, by other men—and women, so she could earn money of it. At first, Ethan thought she was joking and he'd never agree to that. But she said she'd beat Theo even every night if he wouldn't listen. And she practically did until she made that deal with Ethan—she'd beat Theo at least once a week for everything he has done wrong; it just wasn't as bad and no one noticed.
So Ethan made her swear she'd never hurt him for the exchange of his body.
And she indeed kept her word for some time.
The only nights when Ethan got to sleep throughout the whole process had passed, and he was trapped like a dumb rat again. Mrs. Agnes would secretly take him out of the room during the time everyone was asleep.
First once a month.
Then once every two weeks.
Once every week.
Twice a week.
Gradually turning it into almost every day.
She'd take him in her car and drive downtown, the way the town was illuminated by lights was a beauty though what came next was a complete opposite.
A memory lingered in Ethan's thoughts, they would go through a narrow alley and down to a basement. There was this room with a bed, she'd make Ethan get naked and get fucked by disgusting elder men—even women. Even women. He could've got some of them pregnant. He could have children out there.
Tears welled up in his eyes with that realization. Theo noticed, and Ethan remembered how he never said anything about it, he just held him and it felt like he understood what he was going through, even though he didn't.
Ethan didn't understand it himself.
He never thought that many people could be perverse pedophiles that wanted to rape a childern.
Was he still a victim, if it was a choice he had made though?
Honestly, he can't even tell how many people came down to the basement for the whole time.
—
When they got back Mrs. Agnes would let him go down to her laboratory, basement thing, whatever. He could take a shower for however long he wanted as a reward. Spectaculous, what a reward for all that suffered.
It didn't matter for how long he'd shower, he'd still feel the touch. The touch never disappeared, it always itched on his skin.
The first night, when he returned to his room, he'd cry, and sob in bed. Theo would ask, 'what happened?' He'd reply with excuses like 'I had a bad dream' or 'I tripped and it hurts.' Though he doubted Theo believed those excuses, he hoped he did. Yet, Theo would persistently ask, 'but you have bad dreams every night.' Ethan refrained from crying when he became suspicious of his frequent nightmares that he never had. Infact, he barely remembered any dreams.
Whenever anyone touched him, he'd instinctively flinch or his heart would race, despite knowing they posed no threat. With the exception of Theo, his touch bestowed upon him a sense of safety, his embrace offering a comfort he sorely needed.
In quiet moments, as he hugged and comforted Theo, Theo unknowingly helped mend a part of his shattered soul. It may defy logic, but in those moments of connection, they both found solace.
What Theo didn't know at the time was that the day he was beaten for their escape wasn't solely because of their actions. Mrs. Agnes only punished him that way because Ethan was injured and she couldn't make money off him for months.
When Ethan got into the other world, he believed that other people would feel trapped there. Not his case, he felt truly free for the first time in years.
These experiences made him hate everything. Except for Theo, he was the only one Ethan could never hate. He'd do anything for him.
He didn't know why he was that way.
But Theo meant the world to him, he'd let him do anything, hug him, kiss him, touch him, he didn't care as long as it's Theo.
They both saved each other. Who cares? Ethan wasn't going to tell him all that now, they had enough time.
—
No words left to be spoken, just silence filled by the rainfall and the emotional gap between their hearts. The rain continued to fall, a relentless curtain between them, blurring the line between reality and reflection. They stood there, soaked to the bone, each lost in their own thoughts, grappling with the unspoken words that lingered just beyond reach. It was a moment of poignant clarity, where the silence spoke volumes, and the rain became a metaphor for everything they could not say.
Eventually, they parted, with Ethan staying in the downpour, while Theo returned back to the mansion. He just encountered Carmen walking in the hall, his hair was wet, revealing that he must've been outside.
Theo approached him, and prepared to say something but Carmen interjected. "Where's Ethan?".
"Outside".
"Alone? In the rain?" Carmen paused. "Have you two got into an argument?".
"Kind of. I just wanted to say goodnight," Theo said nervously before he walked further in the hallway past Carmen.
"Goodnight," Carmen exclaimed, slowly waving as Theo left.
This time they all had privacy, and did not share a room. The rooms they slept in were two times larger than the ones in the orphanage, they even had the addition of a bathroom.
Theo layed on the soft mattress and listened how the rain hit hard against the casement windows. The rain hit just as hard as the worry for Ethan grew in Theo. Maybe I shouldn't have left him outside, he thought. Though Ethan was smart enough to get back inside, which reassured him. Ultimately, as he drifted off to sleep, Ethan was the final thought on his mind before he succumbed to slumber.
In the morning, he woke up to the darkness of night. One will never get used to that. Ethan was the first thought on his mind after he arose. Though he doubted Ethan had stayed outside, he still wanted to check. So he went outside and took the same path as before, unfortunately finding Ethan laying on a bench, illuminated by streetlight. His steps continued closer to him, Ethan's clothes still showed a sign of humidity, despite the rain stopping hours ago. As Theo approached him, Ethan slowly sat up, weariness evident in him. Theo was towering over him, their eyes meeting. He then pulled him into an embrace, feeling the damp cold of Ethan's body.
"I'm so sorry," Theo apologized. Ethan wasn't even close to replying, he wasn't completely sane. Fatigue was visible in his eyes.
Theo pulled away, "Let's go back".
"Go alone. I'll join you later," There was nothing in Ethan's voice that usually was. Theo noticed his unusual change in the voice, which upset him. But still concluded to respect Ethan's decision and leave him some space. If truth be told; he didn't want to give him space, not now. He wanted their space to unite.
When he returned, he joined the others in the dining room for breakfast.
"Where's Ethan?" Victor asked.
"I don't know. He's not my dog, he'll be here in a few minutes," Theo grumbled as he sat down. Minutes later, indeed Ethan joined in.
"Now that we have you all, I'll assign you jobs," Alex uttered, loud and clear. "So Elodie, how good are you at bow shooting?".
"Pretty decent," Elodie answered.
"Then creature hunting it is," Alex paused. "Velvette, Ethan, are you okay with harvesting and basically plant care?" They nodded.
"Theo, Victor, exploration," Alex continued. "Carmen. I learned your name first".
Carmen smiled at that.
"Anyways. Join Theo and Victor for today".
After breakfast, their ways parted. Theo was happy to be apart from Ethan, yet he couldn't shake the desire to be near him.
Theo, Victor and Carmen as said, followed a guy that would explain their job. Simply, they and other people would go around cities looking for unexpired food or useful things.
Elodie was up for creature haunting. Bows were used instead of regular guns because they were silent and wouldn't attract any attention. She was accompanied by other people, together hunting and she actually got along with some of them.
Lastly, Ethan and Velvette. Their job was the least dangerous. They did one of the most common jobs in the old times; they would harvest and plant. A more interesting thing they were doing was deprivation in plants from dark matter envelopes, maintaining their beauty.
This went on for about three days. Theo and Ethan didn't get much time to put things straight in their relationship as they returned late from work, exhausted each passing day—and none of them said anything. Those times were the first their relationship was like that—they never really argued before. Perhaps, love really tears friendships apart.
The third night—it's always night, though the clock specifies it better. That night during dinner, Alex offered an idea to Carmen, "Would you like to join me for an expedition, Carmen?".
"Okay?" Carmen hesitatingly replied.
"Really?" Alex beamed. "I'll tell you more after you wake up".
Some more chatter between everyone went on after that. Then, as dinner came to an end, Elodie cornered Carmen in the hallway. "We need to get the transmitter back. They must be worried," she stated.
"Yeah. But what am I supposed to do about it?" Carmen asked.
"Alex obviously has a thing for you. If you get close enough to him, you could sneak into his office. I think he has the transmitter there".
"I don't know... I don't wanna betray him like that," Carmen dithered, considering the suggestion.
"Come on. You won't betray him," Elodie tried to persuade him.
"All right," Carmen eventually agreed, even though he wasn't pleased by it.
—
The next day, before Carmen could properly open his eyes himself, he was awoken by a knock on the door.
"Hm?" he wearily murmured.
Alex entered, leaning against the door frame. "Ready to go?". He was wearing the casual black pants he often wore, a coat of the same color covered his shoulders. But he had an interesting shirt this time; A black one with a red brocade vest featuring a swirling pattern and silver buttons.
"Already?" Carmen rubbed his eyes in a slow, tired movement.
"I'd rather go early," Alex explained.
"You literally said we'll go after I wake up," Carmen emphasized the word 'I'.
"I guess I am a liar then".
"Yeah. The annoying type," Carmen teased, sitting up.
Alex smiled warmly, which Carmen returned. The atmosphere in the room felt lighter, filled with a sense of well-being.
Carmen stretched his arms above the head, "Well. Let's get moving".
After that, their journey had begun. They left through the main gate and it felt strange again to see the lights disappear. The terrain began to change, with the cobblestone streets giving way to a rugged trail that led through a dense forest.
The night was thick, wrapping around them like a velvet cloak, with only the glow of the stars to guide their path. The air was cool and carried whispers of distant lands, hinting at the adventures that lay ahead. As they ventured further, the sounds of the city faded, replaced by the rustle of leaves and the occasional chirp of creatures.
When they were in the depths of the woods, Alex explained what their journey was about, instead of just babbling nonsense, "I forgot to tell you where we are going".
"I was just about to ask".
"I don't know either," Alex paused before continuing. "But we're looking for something".
"Yeah? Hoping for a flashlight".
"We can't use flashlights. It could attract creatures," Alex explained.
"They're literally blind," refuted Carmen.
"Oh".
Carmen was about to laugh, but before he could, he tripped over a stump in the middle of the path, which he didn't notice due to the lack of lighting—and because he was concentrating on Alex.
"Your fault," Carmen said the second he realized his position.
"Definitely," Alex joked, extending his hand to help Carmen up. "You okay though?" he added as Carmen stood up, his voice filled with more concern this time.
"Yeah. Thanks".
They continued their walk through the stretched out woods for a while, until Carmen mentioned their previous conversation,"So what are we looking for?".
"I am basically working on the cure for cancer," Alex began. "I mean many people are born with a defect in their body, caused by the connection of these two worlds. After their death, rarely not natural, they turn into creatures. And that percentage is growing, so I am trying to find the cure. I shouldn't, but yeah".
"I didn't know that," Carmen sputtered. The weight of the information pressed heavily on his chest, making it difficult to focus on anything else.
"It's crazy".
They went more steps further before they encountered a cave that caught their attention.
"Wanna go in?" Asked Alex.
Carmen hesitantly nodded, and they proceeded inside. The interior was chillingly cold, even colder than the outside. Their eyes had adapted to the darkness, but the absence of light in that place rendered them nearly sightless. The space was vast, extending in various directions, creating an eerie atmosphere. As they ventured deeper, the metallic odor of dark matter grew stronger.
"You smell that?" Carmen reassured that he was smelling the same scent as Alex.
"Yeah...".
Anxiety gripped them as they advanced, wary of potential encounters with other creatures. Confronting them in this environment would be a formidable challenge.
Even in the darkness, a striking sight caught their attention. They encountered a monstrous being, unlike anything they had seen before, larger and more menacing, nestled in the cave. It seemed to be a fusion of various creatures, evolving over time.
"What the fuck," Carmen whispered, fear growing in him. His voice echoed through the cave, increasing in its volume.
Both of them instinctively recoiled and cautiously retreated from the monstrous presence, ensuring they made no noise, their hearts pounding relentlessly. A stroke of luck led them to flee the cavernous expanse without rousing the enormous creature. Their hearts continued to race, even after their escape.
"What was that," Carmen wondered.
"Don't know. But let's head back".
After that they returned back to the gateway, where Alex had one last thing to say before they parted. "Please don't tell anyone about it, not yet".
Carmen agreed and for the rest of the day they returned to their regular work, since their trip had ended prematurely.
Dinner came and after that Alex catched up with Carmen before he could leave to his room.
"Hey," Alex said.
"Hi," Carmen responded, and an uncomfortable silence fell between them.
"Can we go to my room?" Alex suggested.
"Sure," Carmen agreed, unaware of Alex's intentions.
Entering the room, a view of a regular room appeared in front of Carmen. Then he turned to the left and gasped, "Oh my...". His eyes met with the sight of a large cylindrical tank, made from glass, containing a creature. Apart from the tank, next to it was placed a desk with all sorts of containers and chemicals.
Alex shut the door behind them, "Meet Svan".
Carmen glared, convinced that he was joking.
"No really," Alex denied his assumptions.
"First of all; why the hell is that in your room, and why is it named 'Svan'?".
"For experimenting of course," Alex sounded pretty casually. "And think of a better name honestly".
"Tyrannosaurus rex".
"I'd rather go with 'Micropachycephalosaurus".
"What dinosaur is that?" Carmen laughed.
"I have no idea. I just know it exists," they both laughed.
"Anyways. I try experimenting with Svan," Alex began, though Carmen interrupted him with laughter. "What?" asked Alex, a smile forming on his face.
"Sorry. It's the name".
"Okay, I get that," Alex paused. "So...Uh...I was wondering if you wanted to help me with the cure".
"Chemistry ain't my strong side".
"No matter".
"Well then yeah. But one last thing, why don't you have a separate room for Svan? He could attack you any time," Carmen questioned.
"I shouldn't be doing this. Like you know, people would be happier if I spent my time maintaining the town".
"That sucks," Carmen admitted.
"It's what I've chosen after all. I would've killed myself instead".
"Glad you didn't," Carmen smiled. The better he got to know Alex, the heavier the burden on his chest became as he continued to lie to him
As time went by, they experimented with different chemicals and tried various approaches. Carmen didn't really grasp what they were doing but enjoyed Alex's company.
"We should try injecting that into Svan," Alex suggested when they finished. "Care to do it?" he added.
"Yeah..." Carmen agreed hesitantly.
"Okay. I'll open that small aperture for you and carefully inject it".
"How does it work on creatures?" Carmen asked as Alex slowly opened that aperture builded in the tank.
"The thing is; it doesn't. Still trying though".
Carmen smiled. His hands were shaky as he moved further in the tank, finding the right place to inject. He injected the chemicals, yet before he could put his arm away, the creature scratched him lightly. "Shit," he abruptly took out the arm as Alex closed the aperture.
"I'm so sorry. He has never done that before,"Alex apologized immediately, leading Carmen to rest on his bed.
"It's okay," Carmen grinned through the pain, the cut, though not too deep, stung and was bleeding.
"I'll get you some bandages," Alex stated and left through a door in his room connected to his office. That made Carmen realize the transmitter was just in the room next to him.
After a minute, Alex returned with the bandages and a disinfection to clean the wound properly. Alex sat beside him and rolled Carmen's sleeve up, cleaning the cut then proceeding to gently wrap it around with bandages.
"Thanks," Carmen's voice was filled with genuine gratitude. Alex responded with a smile and then moved back to his desk, tidying their mess up. While Carmen reclined on the bed, he observed him until his eyes grew heavy, and he eventually drifted off to sleep.
Ultimately, Alex noticed and then switched off the lights before taking his glasses off and lying down on the other side of the double bed.
Hours later, Carmen woke up and sat upright. Spotting Alex asleep, he seized the opportunity to retrieve the transmitter. Quietly, he made his way to the office, searching for their equipment. Fortunately, he located their transmitter–-the other one had burned in the fire, leaned against the wall, and connected. Mrs. Agnes answered the call, "Finally". The volume was set to loud, Carmen quickly adjusted it to a lower setting.
"Who is it?" she asked.
"Me."
"Oh, Carmen. Are you guys all right?".
"Yeah".
"Could you do me a favor?".