Everything hurt.
And my clothes were ruined.
Do you know how hard it is to find new clothes above ground?
Too hard. Improbable even.
I stared upwards, gazing at the fissure light of above us that was the ravine's entrance.
The gradually darkening sky meant one thing; it was almost evening.
I hadn't spoken a word since Natalie had cooked me like a slab of meat, the nose-wrinkling smell of burning flesh still hanging in the air around us.
It wasn't going away anytime soon either, there didn't seem to be any natural ventilation down here.
Glancing to my right, I got another look at what a sorry state my lover was in.
Natalie clothes were in tatters, just like mine, albeit far less destroyed.
She hadn't bothered wiping away the dried tears staining her face, nor the blood coating her chin and throat.
I shivered, seeing an uncanny resemblance in her attire to someone I would rather forget.
She sat next to me, dirtied chin resting on her knees as she rocked back and forth, arms clenched around her legs.
Pain was a state of mind, and it was no longer clouding my judgement as it had.
I couldn't stay angry at her for long, after all it was just the two of us left - on the surface that is.
It was as much my fault as hers that I was in this situation, I should have told her about the newer mutations when she had woken up.
But the rats had made that course of action go out the window, literally.
I sighed audibly.
A few butterflies that were flitting around the cavern jittered in response, the weak purple glow they emitted flickering slightly as her emotional state spiked.
She was afraid of what I would say or do in response to this latest mistake.
I had made a point of never shouting or getting openly angry with her before now, because most of her mistakes or blunders were because of her ever worsening mental condition.
That couldn't be used as an excuse now however, as she had been restored to her peak physical and mental self not even thirty minutes prior to our fall.
I pushed myself up into a sitting position, my torso feeling as if it were being seared shut all over again.
Natalie didn't turn around, even though she could clearly heard my movement.
I don't think she wanted to look at the damage her actions had caused me, which was pitiful. This wasn't the strong, unyielding leader I had fallen for. Time to rectify that.
I tried to speak, coughing up a few small clumps of sticky blood onto my hand. "Natalie." I said, wiping my dirty hand on what remained of my trousers. "Look at me."
No answer.
I noticed her body tense as she moved to hide her face, now resting her forehead on her knees instead of her chin.
I placed a blackened hand on Natalie's exposed shoulder, gently pulling her towards me; the broken skin of my palm scraping lightly across her own pristine, white flesh.
She hesitated, unclasping her arms and shuffling around to face me.
I watched as she stared at my ravaged torso, her face so guilt-ridden and full of shame it looked like she was about to start crying again.
"Don't ever do that again." I said, cupping Natalie's bloodied throat with one hand; subtly wiping away the unwanted reminder of my father's death using my thumb.
Her body shook with relief at the lack of rejection or fury in my tone.
"You should have told me about the new mutations." She whispered, averting her eyes again.
I pulled her into a hug, ignoring the prickling sensation of my scabs stretching apart and then quickly clotting shut again as my black blood flowed into the cracks, filling them.
"I know."
Her voice broke as she choked out, "I almost lost you, it was all my fault. I- I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."
I sighed again. At least she had apologised.
I pushed Natalie's head off my shoulder, separating us again. My hand reached up, tucking an unkempt strand of her black hair behind an ear.
I moved my head forwards, kissing her gently.
She startled, somehow looking even guiltier now, but leaned into the motion, reciprocating it fully.
"I forgive you." I said, pressing our foreheads against each other and closing my eyes.
I felt Natalie's throat twitch, pausing weakly before she made a very important confession.
"When I resurrected and saw you dying in front of me… I nearly passed on my radiance then and there. I just-"
I pushed her away from me just before my both of my hearts soared in wild joy, interrupting her babbled justifications abruptly.
Outwardly, my face looked frightened and I stared at her in acute denial as she jumped at our sudden movement.
"No no no, you can't do that." I muttered in alarm, taking her startled face my hands, glaring at her anxiously.
Natalie looked away again, her guilt and shame replaced with an intimidating resolve.
Internally, I grinned. Ah, there you are. There's the woman I had fallen in love with. You're back.
"When I first saw you hiding on the ship; I thought to myself about if it was going to be worth the effort of taking you with me; or if leaving you behind when we got to land would be the better choice." She smiled at me faintly, eyes unfocused as she reminisced of times gone by.
I stayed silent, allowing her to continue.
"I'm glad I made the right call, I don't think I could have gone on this long alone; despite what I told you. I- I love you Orion."
It was the first time she had admitted such a thing while being so coherent; so close after a rebirth had happened.
"I love you too." I whispered back, "But you already know that don't you?"
She smiled at me, all of her worries disappearing as she melted into my embrace.
I smiled fondly, but not nearly for the same reasons that she had.
I wanted that power of hers.
I wanted to live forever.
One more close brush with death and it was going to be mine.