First I want to start this chapter with an apology.
I deleted chapters 48, 49 and 50 for a reason, I didn't feel comfortable at all with these 3 chapters, I think it far exceeded the level that I consider acceptable.
The insect fetish was a bit too heavy, that is, from now on it happened but there will be no chapter of it, it just happened and will have the effects without revealing how it went.
I didn't like the result at all and with the comment of a reader saying that the choice is mine I decided to remove the 3 chapters so those who read, read and those who didn't read didn't read anymore.
To apologize for taking the chapters out, I decided to release the 2 chapters that were already ready and warn that this work will not have chapters for at least 1 week, I am solving medical matters and I do not have time to keep this one together with the other before solving this matter.
So my other work will continue normal but this one will be stopped for exactly 1 week.
This piece covers a lot of fetishes, but the insect one went beyond what I would have liked and once it was done the result was...bad for me, I didn't like the addition of them.
Probably the next fetishes will be BDSM and tentacles, and I'm sorry for taking out 3 existing chapters, I hope you understand that I didn't like what I did and took them out, for those of you who read them before they were removed, you know how heavy it was.
Thanks for all those who read it and didn't give up on it.
And with this chapter now, you'll see how bad Ayla's state was mentally after what happened.
I'll see you in a week on this site, get well, guys.
The other work will continue as normal, now have a good read of what was supposed to be Chapter 51.
"Hurgg ufff..." I quickly get up from the soft spot I'm in, look around and notice that I'm back in that room, the same old room. I put my hands over my mouth and run to the bathroom.
"Bleerrggg" I start vomiting, but since there's nothing, only gastric juice comes out, my body trembles as I feel like something is crawling over my body even though there's nothing.
"Hick hick" I start to cry as I scratch my skin, I scratch and scratch more and this disgusting sensation doesn't go away, I start to see blood on my fingers while feeling a slight pain in my arms.
I turn on the shower and get into the bathtub after taking off my clothes as if something was on them, while scrubbing my body strongly, the pain doesn't do much to make me stop, this feeling that there's something in my body fills me with dread.
My body is now completely normal, my breasts have also returned to their original size, but I don't have time to pay attention to the smallest details like this.
I continue scratching and scrubbing, an unbearable itch, I feel like the legs of insects are passing over my body, I feel a revulsion that makes me look with disgust at my body.
I continue this repetitive movement inside the now full bathtub, I stay like this for seconds, minutes until I notice that I've been here for hours.
Finally, I calm down a bit and look at my hands, they're covered in blood, I look at the bathtub and see how the water is dark red, showing that I've lost a lot of blood during this time.
"Haaa...haaa" I breathe heavily, slowly I get up from the bathtub and pull the bathtub drain so the bloody water can go down, I notice that there is blood all over my body, showing that the amount of blood that accumulated with the water was large.
I go to the shower and turn it on, this time wetting my body to remove this blood, my body trembles under the cold water. I finish cleaning myself in the shower and go to the mirror.
"Kyaa" I punch the mirror when I see an insect, then I don't see anything, realizing that I'm only seeing things. My hand is now dripping blood while there are shards of glass stuck in it, but the pain doesn't seem so bad.
I clean my hand at the faucet while I see my broken reflection in the mirror.
The many reflections seem to even judge me, as if they look at me with disgust, disdain and disapproval. I'm not well, I don't feel good, my head hurts while the sensations I feel disgust me.
[Tsk, you fucking whore, why don't you just kill yourself? Oh, that's right, you can't~]
I start to hear voices as if my own reflection was talking to me, a disdainful voice that insults me for what happened.
"..." I try to ignore it, I hear the sound of the water while I try not to think about anything.
[Ignoring it? How did you ignore the fact that you liked it, I bet a bitch like you is sad it's over]
The arrogant tone mocks me. I do everything to ignore it, I want to get out of here but my body is locked, whether out of fear or disgust for myself.
Fear of knowing that my mind is playing cruel tricks on me in this way and disgust at knowing that I am a dirty person who felt pleasure in the situation.
[Maybe if you beg Beelzebub you can go back there, I bet you liked it a lot more than with Uriel]
"Shut up..." I say in a low voice, I want to ignore this, but I can't.
[Begging like a bitch in heat to be fucked, aren't you ashamed?]
The mocking tone fills me with anger and self-aversion.
"I-It wasn't because I wanted to, I didn't want this"
[Didn't want to, huh? That's why you were begging for more, imagine if you really wanted to]
"N-No, it wasn't like that, I-I did this to save Uriel"
[Yes, yes, you did this to save Uriel...right...just a flimsy excuse, in the end what you wanted was to go back to this castle, and be fucked like the whore you know you are]
"N-No I didn't want this, I never wanted this, i-if I didn't accept the contract Uriel would have died, a-and I just thought about him"
[HA, a whore like you who only knows how to moan under others now wants to use a contract as an excuse?]
"I-I'm not a whore, t-this was all to save Uriel..."
[Of course, of course a contract, so going crazy with pleasure with Valac and Leviathan was because of a contract too]
"T-That's... it's different, i-it wasn't like that, I was raped"
[Of course it was, but what kind of victim likes the rape and still feels sorry for the rapist?]
"I-I...i-t wasn't like that, it wasn't like that, stop distorting everything" I start to get hysterical about this, it seems so real, the insults hit me deeply, adding more weight to my heart.
[Distorting? So feeling sorry for the hungry Leviathan is me distorting things? Admitted you masochistic whore, you liked it all]
"N-No, I-I didn't like it, i-t's different, that Leviathan never did anything to me"
[Besides being a whore, you're also stupid? They're the same person, the past doesn't matter, you're still feeling sad for the one who fucked you, did you like him that much?]
"N-No I-I..."
[Of course you didn't like him, you liked the pleasure he gave you, after all you're a bitch who settles for anything with a dick]
"N-No stop distorting everything, I-I'm not a bitch and I-I..." now I'm crying as the weight in my heart increases, I feel like the world is slowly fragmenting like the reflection in the mirror, this reflection that looks at me with disdain and pure disgust.
[No, no, that's not it, that's not it, that's all you know how to deny? Where are your arguments, you stupid whore, or did being fucked in the brain destroy your ability to reason?]
"Shut up, shut up, shut up, y-you're wrong, I-I didn't like it, I-I just..."
["I-I just..." you stupid whore, there's no "I just", you were moaning like a bitch in heat along with the insects, your look of pleasure was priceless, I'm sure the world will never forget the whore they have as the princess of a kingdom]
The tears fall without me being able to refute, it's not true, I'm not like that, but how can I deny it? What can I say?
[I'm sure everyone will love to see this, watch as you moaned and begged for more on the insects' dicks]
"L-Lie, U-Uriel would never like this, h-he's a hero" I speak about the only person I know wouldn't have liked this to happen to me.
[Yes, he's a hero, and what a hero, huh? So why didn't this hero save you?]
"T-This was...b-because it's difficult to get here and h-he was weakened" I desperately try to defend Uriel.
[For 1 week? The strongest human couldn't get here for 1 week? With magic and a powerful sword, a hero who is only weaker than the demon lords couldn't recover even after all this time?]
"H-He couldn't come, b-because...it's dangerous...y-yes, it's dangerous and h-he couldn't take the risk carelessly"
[Dangerous? For the hero? Hahaha there are few things that can threaten him, but you know the truth, you're just denying it]
"SHUT UP H-He...h-he..."
[He abandoned you, you fucking whore, do you think he would want to save trash like you? A whore who surrenders to the depravity of insects?]
"NO, HE DIDN'T ABANDON ME, SHUT UP" I yell at the reflection that speaks those words with mockery and venom in its voice.
[And why do you think he didn't abandon you? You're useless, you're weak, you have no talent, no authority, no good status, no influence at all, besides being a whore who drowns in pleasure with anything that has a dick]
Its tone is severe and venomous as it throws all these words at me, shattering my heart like this broken mirror.
[Why should he save something like you? Useless trash that makes no difference in the world, a monster's prostitute, a girl who drowns in lust at the first opportunity she has]
"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP" I scream at the mirror with tears, my tears flow down my face, dripping into the sink and mixing with the blood that came from the wound on my hand.
[Shut up?...is that all you know how to say? Did being fucked in the brain lower your vocabulary? No, no, that's not it...deep down you know, everything I said is true, you don't deny it because you know I'm right]
The voice is like a whisper from the devil trying to convince me, while it is disdainful and arrogant, it is very influential and "Honest".
"Hick...hick" I can't deny anything, I'm useless, and if Uriel really abandoned me because I'm a burden, then I'll be alone forever? I don't even have Aetheris anymore because it's with Uriel.
[Gonna cry now? Is that all you're gonna do? So why don't you just kill yourself, oops I forgot, you can't, you can't die forever, in the end you'll be a monster's prostitute forever]
[But I'm sure that's exciting, right? No matter how severe it is, you can endure it, it's perfect for a cowardly masochist like you]
[You can drown in pleasure without worrying about consequences, permanent effects or real damage]
"..." I'm silent as the pain increases with every word this voice speaks.
[Gonna stay quiet? Gonna save your voice for the next one to fuck you? But who cares, right? Whether it's Uriel, the Demon Lords, or the monsters, they'll all die one day, and on that day I wonder how you'll satisfy your lust]
[Gonna just masturbate? Or maybe you'll ask Aurora to fuck you with toys? I bet if you find Aetheris, he'll be the next one you'll let fuck you, because you...]
Crash crash crash crash crash crash crash crash crash crash crash crash crash crash crash crash crash crash crash crash CRASH CRASH CRASH CRASH
I punch the glass, and again, and again without stopping, making the already broken glass shatter into pieces, I keep punching and punching without stopping. I feel pain, the shards entering my fragile hands.
But I don't care, I just keep hitting to completely destroy my reflection, I don't know if I just want to deny everything I heard or if I want to feel pain to reduce the weight in my heart.
Trying to alleviate my emotional pain with physical pain, and the only method I found to stop hearing my mind create things I don't want to see or hear.
After a few minutes of doing this, I fall to the floor and start to cry, I don't want to do anything, just lie on the cold bathroom floor, a floor now covered in glass shards and blood.
I'll stay here for the next few hours crying over my problems, because just like that voice said, I'm useless and all I know how to do is cry or moan.