Jazz's POV :
I went to Singapore with my friends for summer vacation and as a treat na rin for ourselves. For finishing up Senior High School with flying colors. I was our school's valedictorian and as a gift for doing a job well done, my grandfather and mother allowed me to make the trip of course, all expenses paid for.
There were so many things for me to be happy about. I got the highest honor in school, I will be a legal adult in 3 months. I have my friends. My grandparents and my mom are so proud of me, but I never felt truly happy.
My father was not present on my graduation day. He has to go out of town again for a business trip. He did not even congratulate me when I told him I was the class Valedictorian. Tumango lang siya and started to walk away to the car na maghahatid sa kanya sa airport.
But I did not take it to heart. He has always been that way. Kahit ano pa ang na accomplish ko, despite doing my very best, it seems it was not enough for him. I always view him as a perfectionist man. So I thought that whatever I got did not reach his standards yet. For him, whatever I accomplished was not the best yet. So I always made sure to do everything as best as I could, hoping that the day will come that he will be proud of me.
But now I know, that day will never come. He just really does not like me. Kakarating lang namin ni mommy galing sa airport. I know my father is home dahil sinabi sa akin ni mommy over the phone. So I thought he will be with mommy sa pagsundo sa akin. But she's the only one na sumundo sa akin kasama ang personal driver ko na si Mang Popoy. I asked her why father did not come, hindi siya makatingin sa akin ng diritso, although smiling, her smile did not reach her eyes. And told me that father have visitors.
And here I am now. Standing in our mansion's doorway, seeing my father laughing with his heart. Habang nakikinig sa sinasabi ng isang babae my age. I never saw him laugh like that. There was a glitter of tears in his eye. Tears of joy. And it breaks my heart.
"Baby?" narinig kong tawag sa akin ni mommy ng hindi ako gumalaw mula sa kinatatayuan ko.
Narinig din nang mga tao sa sala, causing them to look in my direction. When my father saw me, biglang nawala ang mga ngiti sa labi nya. And that breaks my heart more.
"Jazmin, dumating ka na pala." he coldly said.
"Yeah. I just got back." marahan akong lumapit sa kinaruruunan nila ng mga bisita nya. While silently composing my self and give the strangers a smile. "Mommy said you could not come to fetch me sa airport because of your visitors. Who are they?"
Umupo ako sa isang sofa while looking my father intently in the eyes. Trying to search for even a little bit of sign that he is happy seeing me. But there was none.
"This is your tita Selena." pakilala nya sa babaeng katabi nya, while carefully tapping the woman's shoulder. She's I think older than mommy. I don't like the way she is sitting beside my father. It's as if they are sharing an intimate relationship. It's not how my parents seat when they're together. They always sit as if they are talking business, kahit nasa harap kami ng kainan. "And these are Jealena and Silvia," pointing to the two girls my age na nakaupo sa carpeted na sahig. "They are your elder sisters."
His voice was low, but I felt as if a grenade was thrown my way. Para akong nabingi sa mga sinabi nya and I was shocked.
And yet, that was not the most shocking thing I heard.
"Selena is my legal wife." my father said.
My eyes grew big. At napalingon ako sa kinatatayuan ng mommy ko.
I looked at her with pleading eyes. Hoping na sabihin nya sa akin that father is just joking. That he's just making a Dad Joke. Aren't dad jokes like that? They think it's funny, but it was not actually. And growing up, father never made a joke.
But once she saw my eyes, umiwas siya ng tingin, and slowly pinunasan ang luhang tumulo sa kanyang mga pisngi.
With no choice, I face my father again.
"You're joking right?" I ask with a bitter smile. Please let it all be a joke.
Napabuntong hininga siya and signalled to my so called older sister's to sit on the vacant chair.
"I'm not joking." he started. He looked at mommy then to me. "Your mom and I were never married."
"What are you talking about? How come you are not married? You have a wedding picture, a wedding video. You were wed, and a lot of people attended your wedding." Kahit ayaw ko, nagsimula ng tumulo ang mga luha sa aking mga mata. "We are even living on the same roof with grandpa and grandma, your own parents. And yet you claim that mommy is not your wife?"
I wanted to shout. And to be mad at him. But I can't. I am his perfect daughter. I must always show him that I am composed.
"Our wedding was a farce. I was already married to Selena. And we already have Silvia the year your mother and I wed. I have to do it, since your grandfather will disown me if I did not wed your mom when we found out that she was pregnant with you." He explained with a straight face. It's as if, whatever he said is enough reason for this mess. Enough reason to explain his cold treatment to me.
"So you're saying," I gulped, "that you are not my real father. And you just took the responsibility to save mommy's face."
That must be, right? The only reason for him to be cold towards me, is because I am not his real daughter. It is my mother's mistake that he has to take responsibility kahit labag sa kalooban nya dahil mawawalan siya ng mana.
"You are your father's daughter, apo." Narinig kong sabi ni lolo. I did not notice him. He was standing on top of the steps on the second floor.
Marahan siyang bumaba while his male nurse aid is assisting him. He still look strong despite his age of 80 though.
"Your mom and your father were betrothed since they were children until we found out that she is pregnant with you." My grandpa looked at me with loving eyes. Lumapit siya sa kinauupuan ko and wipe my tears. "It's not your fault. Or your mommy's. This mess is all your father's fault. So you have nothing to be ashamed of. Because he even has the audacity to fool us. All of us. So no matter what other people say, you are our legal Casanova"
I burst out crying. No matter how much I try not to, hindi ko mapigilang humagulgol ng iyak. Naramdaman ko ang pagyakap sa akin ni lolo. Telling me that everything will be alright.
Hindi ko na alam kong paano akong nakapasok sa kwarto.
They say that a girl's father is her greatest shield. That he will protect his princess to the harshness of the world. And they will do everything to make sure that no one will break their daughter's heart.
But here I am. Crying my eyes out, because my father once again decided to break my heart.
**********
"Are we leaving?" isang araw tinanong ko si mommy, while we are having tea snacks in the garden.
My father's legal family is living with us in the mansion. And a few of our family friends' circle has already learned about our family situation.
Dahilan para hindi ako ganahang lumabas ng bahay.
Pakiramdam ko, paglumabas ako, people will talk behind my back. And start mocking me.
My friends were so worried for me at walang araw na hindi sila tumatawag para kumustahin ako. Asking if I am alright. And telling me, that no matter what happens, I still have their back.
I am just so thankful for having them right now, kahit na hindi pa ako nagpapakita sa kanila ng personal. They wanted to visit me at home, but I declined. Ayaw kong makita nila how my father treats his legal family. So loving, so kind and so thoughtful. Malayong malayo sa treatment nya sa amin ni mommy.
"Of course not." Taas kilay na sagot ni mommy. "We made a vow, although it was a farce for him, it was not for me. And dinaluhan ng maraming tao ang kasal na yun. I never knew that the wedding was null and void to begin with. Kaya kahit hindi kami totoong kasal. Ako ang hinarap nya sa maraming tao." she hold my hand and marahan iyong pinisil. "We did not ruin their family. We were the one fooled by them."
I smiled. Mommy is truly a warrior. I am so proud to be her daughter. She has always been my greatest supporter and confidant.
And we are going through this ordeal together.
And she was right, we did not do anything wrong.
Although father, favor's his legal family, hindi nya kami mapapaalis ni mommy sa mansion. First reason, grandpa is firmly on our side. Second, now that it is known that they are really not married, if my mother will decide, she can pull out every cent my maternal family's wealth brings in the company and it will cripple the Casanova Corporation. And lastly, I have someone behind me that he can never offend, not even in his wildest imagination. Offending that person, means death to anyone's fortune and there will be no turning back from that.
My father decided to out his legal family to give them the wealthy life they 'deserve' after all.
So he has no choice but to live with us and just be civil with it.
But of course, we look like a joke right now. Imagine, you and your mom living in a house with your father, with his wife and daughters.
It's giving me headaches.
Sabay kaming napatingin ni mommy sa gate when we saw father's car.
I woke up around 11 am today, and was told by my nanny, Nana Pasita, na umalis si dad kasama ang legal family nya para mag mall at doon na daw sila mag lunch.
The same scenario has been happening for a few days. Mukhang sinusulit talaga nya ang natitirang araw ng bakasyon.
He spends most of his weekends out with them. Shopping, eating out and watching movies, I heard.
He never did those things with us. Kami lang ni mommy ang laging lumalabas. He was always busy. Kung kumain man kami sa labas, it was never his idea. It was always because grandpa wants to and he cannot do anything about it.
And when we did, he would talk to us with glee. It's always formal. As if he want's the night to be over immediately.
I never understood it before, but now, I know the reason.
******
First Monday of June, and the first day of school. I have been cooped up in this house for weeks due to our family drama. But today, I have no choice but to get up and go to school.
I am in my first year of college, taking up BS Psychology in SDA.
Saint Dominique Academy.
It's the most prestigious International school in the country where the very rich and famous are studying. The least amount of tuition fee here is 1.8 million pesos. I have done my studies here since nursery.
The educational program here is on par with known Ivy schools like Harvard, Oxford and others. If you finish high school in SDA, you can easily enroll to any schools in other country without having to go back to school there. Hindi kagaya ng ibang schools sa Pilipinas, na kailangan mo pang bumalik ng high school doon para lang matanggap sa college.
Before I learned of the truth, I told my father I wanted to take up Psychology, it always fascinates me, how different people have different minds and behavior and I wish to learn so many things about it. And I also think it's the most versatile degree once you work.
Being able to understand people's behavior, you can be a company HR, a teacher, a motivational speaker and even become a police or lawyer.
Being the only daughter who is expected to inherit the family's company, kinabahan ako na baka hindi nya ako payagan. That he will compel me to take up a Business course. And, though it will make me sad, I decided that I will take whatever course he wants me to take, just to make him proud.
But he did not complain. He told me to take whatever course I want. Not even asking why I want to take the course. Without a hint of interest, he agreed immediately.
"Good morning." Almost everyone was in the garden waiting for breakfast to be served.
Lumapit ako sa mommy ko, to kiss her good morning who was sitting next to my grandmother. I hug my grandma, then my grandpa who is seated on the head of the table and sits next to him.
My father was seated on the other head of the table. He was busy reading the news, sitting next to him is his wife. A picture of a comedy.
Hindi na ako lumapit sa kanya. Masama pa rin ang loob ko sa kanya although I am civil. But now that I know the reason why he has always been cold to me, ayaw ko nang umasang magbabago pa ang treatment nya sa akin.
"Nervous for school, Baby?" Mommy asked. She's already dressed up ready to go to work today. My mother is a working woman. She is the CEO of La Sirène, one of the biggest entertainment agencies in Asia. The company manages models and tv personalities. And the company has launched the brightest stars dahil na rin sa connection ng maternal family namin.
She belongs to the Toheyama clan. My maternal grandfather is French - Japanese, while my maternal grandmother is Filipina-Spanish. My parents were betrothed at a young age because of the promise made by my great great grandfathers. My Toheyama great grandfather and Casanova great grandfather served during world war 2. My Casanova grandfather saved my Toheyama grandfather, and he will never forget that debt. As a promise, they decided that their children will be wed.
Unfortunately, their children were always of the same sex, until my father and mother. My father was five years older than my mom. So when my mom was born they were immediately betrothed, and both families made sure to let them grow up together para di sila mahirapan, once they wed. And mommy has always seen herself as dad's wife. There was no other man in her life except for him. So kung nasaktan ako sa mga nalaman ko. I know, my mother was hurt tenfold. And the thought that I was not here when it all happened makes me hate my father more. If only children can choose parents.
"Not really. I am more excited to be back there and see my friends after being cooped up here." nakangiti kong sagot sa tanong nya.
"I serve na po namin ang breakfast." Silvia, the eldest sister, announced. She came from the direction of the kitchen.
Simula ng umuwi ako, they always cook breakfast or dinner. As if telling the people in the house that they're good at it. I mean, I admit, they are good cooks. Mommy and I grew up with maids, so we never really learn how to do household chores. What's the use of doing those things when we are paying people to do it.
"Hmm, these smells so good anak." puri ni daddy ng ilapag na nila with the help of the maids ang mga pagkain sa mesa.
Napabuntong hininga na lang ako nang makita ko ang mga pagkain.
Heavy breakfast.
Hindi sa nag-iinarte ako, but to much carbohydrates can kill our body. Hindi ba nila alam, na ang pinaka numero unong dahilan ng mga sakit sa Pilipinas ay dahil sa kanin?
"Anak, kumain ka na." Hindi ko napigilan ang pagngiti nang ilapag ni Nana ang platong may lamang whole grain toast. Greek yogurt with blueberries and a tall glass of cucumber juice.
"I love you." Malambing kong sabi and threw her a kiss in the air. She did the same to my mommy. My grandparents, due to their old age is following a strict nutritious food, kaya hindi rin sila kumain ng inihanda ng mga kapatid ko.
I mean, they have been in this house for almost a month now, pero lagi pa rin silang nagluluto ng mga oily foods.
Napansin ko ang pag ismid ng asawa ni Dad. I can't call her my step-mother. Because I will never accept her as a mother, step or not. I don't even call her tita, kagaya ng unang pagpapakilala ni daddy. I just simply call her Selena if I have to address her, and if I can, I do not want to talk with her or address her at all.
Tiningnan ko naman siya ng diritso sa mata and raise and eyebrow towards her.
No matter what they say. I will face them shamelessly. Like mommy said, wala kaming pamilyang sinira.