"The Crown Prince is here. Please come out of your cell, Lady Karina." The knight on duty politely called after he opened the door of the cell that they put me in after getting accused of poisoning 'that' person and conspiring in a treasonous plot. Though he called me out a few times, I remained sitting on the cold, hard ground, unwilling to give in from his repeated pleas.
I heard the clacks of his shoes as soon as he entered my cell, but I kept my head down, staring blankly at my cuffed hands, still smeared with the blood of my beloved people. I closed my eyes, attempting to push the horrible memory of how he killed my people, who were trying to protect me, from my mind. Until he spoke, I had my hand clenched in fist, hiding my trembling hands, remembering his cruelty.
"Karina." He used the same cold and authoritative tone when he called my name. He never once called me using my family name, and for that reason, I submit myself to him, always heeding his call. But I am not the same Karina who does everything he wants to please him.
He knelt and raised my chin so our gaze would meet. "You better start talking or you will die tomorrow with your father. Make up excuses to save your life or just tell me the name of the nobles who planned treason together with your family. If you do that, I'll spare your life for trying to harm Lady Arabella's life."
When I heard the name of the woman who organized everything with my cousin, who wanted everything that belonged to the head family, I wanted to laugh at his foolishness. He asked these questions in a way that just made it clear to me- he won't trust my words. To Achilles Dimitri Aelius, the magnificent crown prince of the Aelius Empire, I am nothing but a mere pawn. To him, I was someone who attempted to murder his beloved Arabella- the only person he loved and his faction desired to occupy the empress' seat.
I turned away and spoke my last words, "I have nothing to say anymore, your highness. Please leave."
My response caused his face to darken, but I no longer give a damn to what he will do to me. This man won't trust my words even if I knew who is responsible for the assassination of his father. Just like me, love blinded him from seeing the wickedness of the lady who attempted to dethrone me as the crown princess. I suppose it's true that first loves are hard to replace.
"Suit yourself then." He took his hands off of me and stood up from kneeling on the ground. "I can do it without your help anyway. I just gave you one last chance but you threw it away. Don't regret your choice."
As soon as he turned to leave, I exhaled deeply. He's not rushing, giving me more time to change my mind to speak the truth, but I am done believing him. I am done being used by him.
I may have loved him half of my life but it doesn't mean that my love is limitless. The moment he pointed his sword at my neck moments after Arabella vomited blood after sipping the same tea that I personally served, and just in time his troops informed him of the king's assassination, I finally realized that his negative opinion about me remained the same. Though he showered me with affection for the few months that we were together, he never trusted me. I tried to explain that it wasn't poisoned because I drink the same thing, but he already believed that I tried to kill the only lady he had ever loved.
"Why didn't you explain yourself, My Lady?" Mizark, my personal knight asked in a weak tone when Achilles eventually disappeared from my view. Even if I can't see him in the cell next to mine, I know that he was badly wounded from trying to save me from the royal knights when they took me to prison. He won't be put into the guillotine like me and my father, but his knighthood would be revoked.
A sorrowful grin formed on my lips. "He won't believe me even if I tell him what I know. In his eyes, I'm the villainess who tried to kill the heroine."
Our lightless chamber reverberated their soft sobs and muted cries. It finally occurred to them that there was no chance to save me from my wretched fate. They are all innocent which is why they were spared, but they can only leave once my execution is done. It's the crown prince's attempt to prevent my people from plotting my escape. I gazed at the bright moon from the window of my cell and let out another sigh. Seems like these people loved the infamous villainess of the empire too much. A genuine smile formed my lips, I realized that dying in this manner wasn't so horrible. There are still plenty of people who believed in me, and that is the legacy that I will take with me in the afterlife.
Night went by so fast. It was the most exhausting night I ever experienced after a few of my trusted friends visited me individually. They all begged me to submit myself again to the crown prince if that's how I would get the chance to live longer, and redeem myself, but I am already tired of proving myself innocent to a person that never trusted me in the first place. When the morning comes, a priest that I once saved from being oppressed by temple officials, offered me a prayer. His eyes were puffy from crying all night, like how my servants wailed all night, keeping me up until today. A palace maid that I also helped from being harassed by a knight brought me a meal with all my favorite food. And just like everyone else, her eyes were red and puffy from crying. But what I was thankful for was, none of them mentioned my upcoming death. So, when it was time for me to leave my chamber, I gave them my warmest and sincerest smile as I bid my final farewell.
"It was fleeting but I am happy that I met all of you in this life." I bowed to them like how an aristocrat bowed to those they owed. "Live well. This master of yours will leave first." I buried their faces in my mind with a never fading smile on my lips. "Don't be quick on following me. Make sure to entertain this Lady once we meet again with your stories. I'll patiently wait for you all at the gate of the afterlife." I turned my back at them with my head held high.
Their cries echoed as I left the prison to go to the center of the plaza where the criminals will be beheaded. I had my eyes closed the whole time in my carriage. I wonder why instead of fear, my heart is calm as I'm getting closer to death's door. I didn't even realize that the carriage stopped and Achilles entered with his usual cold demeanor.
"Are you really ready to die? I can still save you if you cooperate with me. All you have to do is tell a name, the mastermind of all these. And I will spare you for trying to poison Lady Arabella. Why won't you submit to me like you used to? You should be begging me to spare your life, Karina!" His frustrations could be heard from his voice but I am already prepared to throw this life away than be someone's pawn again.
I kept staring outside the window, burying in my head the breathtaking scenery in front of me for the last time. Who would have thought that he would stop us at the same place where I pledged my loyalty to him. It was the same meadow where I confessed my feelings for him.
"The weather is nice to die." I uttered without the slightest trace of regret nor sadness in my voice. Achilles struck the carriage's wall with his fist, causing it to sway a bit.
"Why won't you beg me to spare your life? If you are really innocent, why are you keeping your silence instead of telling me the truth? Are you not afraid to die?!"
I inhaled deeply to calm myself. I know that a part of me was scared and crying for help. A part of me who still aches for him, vulnerable, wanting his help so bad. But how am I supposed to do that when he pushed me away the first time I asked? He ignored all the evidence that I gathered against his beloved. He never believed anything I said. And now he's asking me to beg again? After he killed most of the people close to my heart, he dared me to beg?
My eyes felt hot like they were burning with rage when I looked at him, but the sound of my voice when I speak is colder than the weather in the northern region.
"I am Karina Azalena. Unlike you, I don't abandon the people who served me with their utmost loyalty. I trust my people and I am fair with all my judgements against them." I turned away from him, trying my hardest to hold back my tears. "There's nothing worth living for in this world, so please leave. I have nothing to say anymore. I already did my best to serve you and I am done being used by you, your highness."
I met his gaze once more and gave him my sincerest and warmest smile. "I wish you happiness with that person that you chose to believe. Please let me die in peace, your highness. My precious people are probably waiting for me on the other side." There's no traces of affection in my voice anymore.
His grip on his sword tightened. "You wanted to die badly because you wanted to be with that butler of yours? Should I kill you here instead? How dare you flaunt your relationship with him now that you are about to die!"
I sneered. "Did Lady Arabella tell you that I'm in that kind of relationship with Keiran?" I asked, laughing at his foolishness, but my eyes were burning in rage as I stared back at him. "No wonder you didn't hesitate to kill him cruelly in front of me. If I didn't know how prideful you are, I would think that you were jealous of him, your highness." I wiped the tears that escaped my eyes. "But you were wrong about one thing. Keiran is not only my butler. He is also my twin brother. You know how twins are seen in the empire; they say one is blessed while the other one bears a curse. He was sickly thus thought of him as one who bears a curse, so they made me the sole child. He was hidden in the mansion and only the most loyal servants knew about him. I planned to tell you about him if things went well between us, but you took his life without remorse the moment you got a chance." The tears that I'm trying to hold back escaped my eyes once more.
"I...I didn't..."
I looked away, not even happy to see the shock on his face for believing all those woman's words. "You know nothing about me because you never cared. If I knew that loving you would pave a path to tragedy...right there and then, I'll stop loving you." I state facts as I wiped my tears. He became quiet until it was time for me to go.
When his knight opened the carriage, I immediately stood up and went out with my head held high. I saw a lot of people waiting at the plaza. But instead of hatred, I only saw sadness in their faces while looking at me.
"Achilles..." I stopped and turned to face him after calling his name for the first and last time after all that happened between us. He looked at me with an unexplainable expression. It's been so long since I stopped guessing what was on his mind so I bid my last goodbye.
"Please forgive this sinner for loving you selflessly. May Sol protect you from those who really want to harm you." I bowed at him elegantly, as a proper noble woman and turned my back at him as I spoke my last set of words. "If there is a world parallel to us like I always believed, I prayed that she won't love you like I do." I marched towards the middle of the plaza without any ounce of fear.
I looked at him once more when I was put under the guillotine and mouthed him the rest of the things I wanted to tell him while he was standing beside the woman who will surely bring him his downfall.
"Loving you until there's nothing left of me, was a mistake." I closed my eyes and patiently waited for my death.