Summary: How dinner turns wild
Luz woke up, face to feathers. As a prize for being effective against the Basilisks, not to mention the drain, the Owl Beast has once more begun the cuddle fest. On one hand, Luz no longer feared being eaten alive if Eda didn't get her elixir. On the other hand, suffocation by feathers was now a real fear she began to experience. "It's been three days … how many more cuddles could it possibly want?"
" She said ten more nights will make us even … I call snorseshit on it, but can't really argue." Eda in harpy mode groaned, waking up herself. "If you feel like complaining, just know the Owl Beast has now expanded its diet …" The woman reached over and picked up a live cockatrice, and unhinged her jaw as she swallowed it whole. " A little chewy, but the variety is appreciated."
"Adding that to the memories I'll be suppressing into the vault." Luz nodded, shaking her head.
"You think it's gonna pop one day?" King asked, clearly following her lead.
"Na, If Lucci's not after the brain thing, then I think I'm good." She smirked, turning to the boy. "Right?"
"Mmmm." Was her only response, as he continued to lay down against Eda with his eyes closed.
"Ah, bro, you feeling good?" King asked, nuding his body.
"Mhmmm." Lucci slightly nodded, but otherwise didn't move.
"You sure…you've been silent and immobile for the last three days." Luz pointed out
"... Don't feel like moving." Lucci groaned, burying his head further into Eda's feathers. "Still tired. See you guys in a month or so. I'm hibernating."
"Is that an Owl thing?" Luz wasn't the most well versed on their habits.
" I occasionally feel like flying south during the colder seasons, but that's not what's happening." Using her feathers, Eda flipped the boy over, and he looked completely miserable. "Talk to me boy. You've been out of it for three days. I can only take so much self pity in this house before I call it out."
"Just … processing …" He said. "Triton's thoughts are all flowing through my head … I know I'm Lucci, but I now I know the extent of the hell the Basilisk went through … the years of torture, the feelings of hate, the desire of revenge…" Lucci gripped his hand. "A part of me wants to go up to Belos and hit him until one of us stops twitching … but I just feel really … really … feel tired." He turned his back. "I did everything I could to reach out to them, and they'd rather die than take the chance … so … why should I now?"
Luz frowned. "That crazy maniac clearly didn't know-"
Scales popped along Lucci's arm. "Don't talk like you know them." The boy paused, gripped his head back, and slammed it on the nest. "See? No matter what I do, I can't forget any of it. If I do anything else, I'm just going to keep remembering what happened to them. I felt their pain, I felt their misery … it's all a part of me now."
She winced. "Lucci, I-"
"Just let me try and sleep until it stops …" The boy groaned, going rolling back into the nest.
Luz took a look at Eda, and then at King, before coming to the only conclusion she could. "No." And proceeded to kick him out of the nest. "You had three days to mope, that ends now."
"…. Fine then …" The boy stood up, and slowly walked to the window, moving out of it as he fell to the ground. A few seconds of silence followed.
Crash
Before the sound of a falling tree occurred. Looking outside, they watched as the boy made his own nest outside the house. "Fresh air will do me some goog anyway.
" Sheesh, this is bad." Eda winced. " He hasn't gone through a crisis this terrible since he discovered Zebras weren't real."
"...Zebras are real." Luz corrected.
"Sure they are." King laughed like she was joking. "So how are we fixing this? Should I scream at him until he does something?"
"Nah, this isn't physical force." Luz shook her head. "We need to create a situation so shocking it will destroy his brain …" She thought it over. "What if I said I was marrying Boscha?
"He'd kill in an instant before you have a chance to finish explaining yourself ." Eda warned her. " You know how crazy he is for that girl ."
"Oh Crystal!" Speak of the devil … shoot, they may need a new phrase. "How are you doing?" She asked seductively.
"Alright." Lucci muttered half heartedly, focused on building his new nest.
"..You alright? Didn't think you'd enter your emo phase this early into our relationship." Ha, guess the Mr. Emo nickname was still timely.
"It might actually be a relapse if you ask Luz." Lucci muttered. "I just don't have the energy for … anything. If you want to cuddle, that's fine … but I really don't want to go anywhere."
"Wow, those Basilisk did a number on you, didn't they?" Boscha bluntly assessed.
"That's putting it lightly, Angel. It's still too fresh in my brain." He groaned. "I just…I can't be around people right now. It's too much to handle all at once."
"Such a shame. My mom's invited your family over to dinner…"
"WHAAAAT!?" All three of them shouted from the window.
"...Ignoring that you were spying on us…" Lucci mumbled. "What they said … huh?"
"Yeah. Personally I just wanted to invite you along, you know, for being the brave and shinning crystal hero that saved me and the whole Isle." The three eyed girl purred, rubbing her face intimately on Lucci's. "But for some lame reason, Mama said that your mom should be there, and then Mama said all of you should come…so…yeah, family dinner with everyone."
"… Okay." The boy nodded. "You can invite them, but I'm not coming myself." He was very dead inside.
"Seriously?!" Boscha shook the boy. "You're the only one I want there! Come on Crystal … please … be there … for me." She pleaded, making their three eyes bulgy and watery.
The boy looked like he wavered for a bit, his lips quivering like they were about to agree…before turning away. "I'm sorry … I can't … not when I'm like this … you deserve better than how I am now." He turned away. "I wish you all the best." Lucci muttered.
Suddenly, Luz had a very, very dark idea. "If he tries to kill me, cover me, alright?" She asked Eda.
"I can't promise the best."
"Boscha!" Luz shouted down. "We're all invited, right?!"
"As much as I'd reject, you are." The girl rolled her three eyes.
Then here comes the bullet that would break Lucci back to normal. "Cool, I'll make sure Eda packs his baby pictures!"
PLOOOP
Suddenly she found herself inside a bubble that was quickly closing in on itself and making the back of her heels touch the back of her neck. "Worth it." She groaned out from the pain.
"Okay, okay, you made your point." Lucci responded in the usual annoyed voice he had for one of her crazy plans. "I'll stop being moody if you stop being pushy about it."
"Too late." King stated. "Eda's already making plans for baby picture exchanges with Boscha's folks."
" Been waiting to use this ammunition for a while, thanks for the idea, Luz." Eda snickered, pulling out a big photo album from her hair. " Take this as a lesson to not be an Emo, Lucci. There's hell to pay for it, and you will pay for it."
"You're the one who taught me to never trust people and repress trauma!"
" And I've been slowly been unteaching you those habits, like how I got you into school."
"Gaaahhhh!!" Lucci screamed.
"Aww, don't worry Crystal, I'm pretty sure you were an adorable baby." Boscha grinned.
"Didn't King say exchange, like other parents giving her baby pics to?" Luz asked.
"....Touche Luz…." Boscha growled, glaring at her hatefully. This was going to be one crazy night, wasn't it?
========================================================================
"Awww, he was an adorable baby!" Shalisha heard Eden coo over Edalyn's photo album. The house was much more crowded than she would've liked, but if it got them closer to the important matter of business quickly, then she didn't mind in the slightest.
"End me, end me, end me." Lucifer banged his head against the living room counter
"And your little girl actually looks halfway adorable. Guess the teen angst and hormones hadn't set in yet." The Owl Lady spoke, gazing over their album.
"End me, end me, end me." Boscha banged her head against the living room wall. A necessary sacrifice that she'll pay her daughter back for someday.
"I gotta say, your biscuits are lovely." The furry … thing chomped on the appetizers, leaving crumbs everywhere. "Amazing cooking right here."
Eden beamed at the praise. "Oh thank you! I've been expanding my creative muse for quite a bit now. Would you believe I made those without following a single written recipe? It's amazing what you can do when you just go with the flow."
"Yesterday's soup tentacle begged to differ." Boscha groaned as she continued to bang her head.
"I had to suggest the entire family." Shalisha would've preferred just talking to Lucifer alone, but given the nature of the request, adding on top of the fact he was still a minor, talking to Edalyn was…unfortunately…a priority.
She turned to the human, who had yet to say anything.. "… Yes?" They asked.
"Nothing, you've just been quiet." Shalisha noted.
"I tend to not bond well with high society, it's better for me to just sit back and let everyone else handle it." The girl quietly stuffed a cookie in her mouth. "Just gonna….stay out of this one and not cause any trouble." How was it that the human was the sane one, especially after all the stories Boscha told her about.
"Ooohh, look at this little onesie!"
"A little late on that end." Boscha muttered. "I should've just joined Lucci in the nest."
"Oh now wallowing in self pity doesn't seem like a bad idea, huh?" The boy sarcastically responded as he banged his head ever harder, to the point the counter started cracking.
"It would have been a very fluffy nest." Lucifer groaned. would refrain from breaking my personal property even further if you wish to stay in my good graces." Shalisha warned the boy, who stiffened in fear. "Now if I could have your attention.." Her words were drowned out by Edalyn's and Eden's laughter.
"What is he doing here?"
"Shapeshifting into a kitten, it was an adorable week, but he gave up after one to many hairballs."
"Plus Hooty kept eating all the mice, so that was half my food supply there." The boy added.
" A-hem! " She loudly cleared her throat, finally lowering the volume of the room. "Now that I have your attention, there's a matter that I believe will come to benefit your family greatly, Edalyn, specifically in the financial department, as I believe that is a source of slight trouble for you at the moment."
"Not particularly, we're doing fine enough saving up as it is." The Owl Lady said off handedly.
"Aren't we broke and barely getting by as it is?" The furry thing asked.
"... It's called haggling King." Edalyn spoke in a disappointed tone. "I thought I taught you how to recognize the signs."
"Well fortunately for you, there are two reasons why I invited your family over. One pertains to your son's last visit, and his and Eden's….experimentation in the kitchen." Shalisha took out her checkbook. "Despite destroying three fourths of it, the elixir that they brewed together has been selling off the shelves, and I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge his small hand in it's success. So here." She handed over the piece of paper. "Twenty thousand snails for ten percent credit."
"Oooh, we're eating good this month." The Owl Lady grinned. "Lion Licker for you Lucci...you know…when we got that portal working again."
"Hurray." The boy weakly raised a hand.
"Come on Lucci, I thought you were going to drop the sour puss attitude tonight." The human nudged the boy in the side.
"You're the one who made the baby picture inevitable instead of just threatening." He deadpanned. The boy groaned. "Pardon me if I think twenty thousand snails isn't worth the price of embarrassment."
"Then what if I said you and your family could be receiving more than twenty thousand each month?" Shalisha brought up.
"We would be literal kings!" The furry child spoke.
"I love the smell of money, but I'm also smelling a catch here." Edalyn raised an eyebrow. "You would be this generous to me or Lucci, even if he is dating your kid. You want something out of this, don't you?"
"You know me so well, don't you." Shalisha groaned, appreciative that at the very least, Edalyn wanted to cut to the chase. "I'll make it as simple as possible. I believe business would beneficial to all parties if we were to acquire a sample of Lucifer's Blo-"
"No." Lucifer interrupted her instantly.
"… You're not even going to-"
"Any time someone gets a sample of my body, they turn it into a super weapon to murder me." He went on. "Not to mention how close you are to Vitimir, the genuine psycho that wants to cut me open under a table."
"Oh, we haven't had business with Vitimir for a while. Ever since his face got scared up, he cut off all ties to us, can't figure out why though." Eden scratched her head.
"Mysteries." Their daughter gave a nervous chuckle. The human muttered something that sounded like 'blackmail'.
"Still, waaay too many people have used it to cause chaos." Edalyn brought up. "Darius has exploding abomination goo, who knows what could happen if Terra grabbed ahold of some and not to mention Blights managed to-" There was a knock on the door.
" … If this is a speak of the devil situation, I reserve the right to stab the woman that walks through the door." Lucifier grumbled.
"Don't be ridiculous, we scheduled our dinner with them for tomorrow. I had Eden prep for it and everything, right Eden." She turned to her wife.
"Wait, this wasn't meant to be a big get together?" There was a moment of silence.
"I still reserve the right to stab the woman." Her daughter's boyfriend repeated himself.
"Don't you dare do that … on my property, there's too many witnesses here, and I'm liable to get charged with something." Shalisha nodded. "I have safehouses you can do it discreetly in, as long as you deny all involvement of my family."
"Sweet, just drag them there and we'll handle the rest." The boy stood up. "It's been a pleasure, let's move people!"
"Shalisha, no." Her wife put her foot down, frowning.
"What… did you just say to me… " Shalisha began to raise her tone.
"I said no…." Fire enveloped the living room. " We are going to bring in our guests and treat them as guests. Plan your murders another time, this is a quality get together, and it's going to stay a get together." The fire on the walls actually looked like they were cackling maniacally.
"...I thought your mom was the scary one." Lucifer whispered to Boscha.
"She is … at least I thought she was." Her daughter trembled as she held onto her boyfriend.
"Umm …" The human looked very uncomfortable. "How about we just go and-" A knife flew next to her head, embedding itself into the wall.
"I have spent the last week preparing a get together, so help me if anyone leaves or tries to murder something, I will shove things down your throat that do NOT mix with biology ." The fire grew even more intense. "So sit your buts down at the table, or I'm chopping you all up and serving you for dinner tomorrow!" Eden had never looked so…. passionate before.
BADUMP…..BADUMP…..BADUMP
"Mom?" Her daughter spoke up. "Your nose … it's bleeding?"
"Oh, uh, just the heat, that's all." She quickly wiped it away. "You heard my wife, now's the time we all enjoy dinner together…no matter how unsavory the guests appear to be."
"Wonderful!" The fire instantly died as Eden went back to her normal hyper cheery self. Everyone gathers around as I bring in our guests! Feel free to sit wherever, dinner will be out shortly!"
"...You hooked up with one terrifying gal." Edalyn muttered as she walked into the dining room. "I don't know how you deal with it."
"...Neither do I." Bed time tonight was certainly going to be interesting…maybe she should let Eden be on top.
The door opened. "About time." A familiar voice spoke up. "You're usually ready with …" Oldalia looked over at the other guests. "... You never mentioned anything about dining with animals."
"And I wasn't told we'd be eating with the world's most horrifying scarecrow, so I guess we're both surprised, Blight." Edalyn countered back with a nasty snarl."
"Wait." Amity walked forward. "... Ah, hey guys."
"Glad we won't be the only ones suffering." Lucifer spoke. "Care for a biscuit?"
The Blight girl looked over the situation, and calmly accepted the pastry, slowly biting it as she stood next to the human. "So this one of your shenanigans or Lucci's?"
"Neither. For once this one's completely out of our hands." The human answered. "At least I have my girlf-"
"Mittens, sit away from the criminals, you don't know where they've been."
"Please, just one attempt. I promise I won't miss." Lucifer begged. This may have been a mistake.
========================================================================
Alador calmly sipped from his bowl. "Excellent soup Eden." Sure, Odalia mostly only did this to keep the competition on their toes and snoop out any advantage they could get their hands on, but it was also one of the rare times their entire family could be together. The twins practically grew up in a flash before he realized it and Amity was close to Emperor Coven tryouts. Soon they'd all be adults with their own successive lives and business with families they'll barely see. He wanted to squeeze in as much time as possible before then.
"Thank you Alador. I bought the entire stand the other day to get fresh new ideas for ingredients and flavors." The women perked up with a bright smile.
"Yeah, it was worth it." Edric smiled as he took a bite of meat. "You're not gonna touch anything, round ears?"
"Bad stomach, if it's stronger than griffon eggs, I can't take it." What a simplistic yet fascinating digestive system. It'd probably make Mitten's upset, but he would mind observing and dissecting a kidney or two from her.
"Not like we can have much of an appetite with the current company." Edalyn grumbled under her breath, looking at Odalia with hate. "The smell of rotting flesh is a turn off, and then abominations don't fare any better."
"I could say the same about dumpster divers and the ticks that flaunt around their hair." His wife muttered, taking a bite of the meal. "Alador, straighten up."
"Better a tick than a blood sucking parasite constantly draining the life out of her family." The owl lady snorted. "Over Fifteen years and you still haven't learned to take that stick out of your ass."
"And you haven't taken the irresponsibility out of your hair." His wife argued back. "You were a criminal then, your a criminal now, and the only legacy your child will bring is being petrified."
"Hey, leave my kid out of this!" Edalyn pounded her fists against the table. "At least my kids actually like me!"
"Liking someone doesn't equate to them being good at life. Even Shalisha knows that much."
"Yes, and it's quite a shame you haven't succeeded at either lately." The three eyed woman snickered. "Your oldest are notorious troublemakers and your youngest hasn't done anything notable in years."
"She has been getting stro-" Alador was cut off.
"She'll be trying out for the Emperor's Coven. Which is much more than I can say for anyone else here." Odalia spoke up. "An overgrown rat, a useless human, the most wanted criminal on the isles, and a sweaty overhyped sports brute with horrible taste."
" What was that about overhyped!?" The Heironymous daughter shouted, burning up her section of the table with fire.
"This is why I don't fit in with high class stuff." Said human groaned, sinking back into their chair.
BANG
They all turned to the fork embedded into the table, and the twitching eye of Eden before someone could be set on fire. "If you all don't settle down … I will repeat the locker room incident, consequences be damned." It said something that every adult sat back down and ate in silence.
"Seriously, what the hell was the locker room incident!" Mittens shouted.
"If you're lucky, you'll never find out." Alador sighed.
"Not so fun being on the other end, is it?" The human smirked.
"Huh, so this is what it feels like to be on the outside of all the melodrama." The Clawthorne boy noted as he bit into his food. "Gotta say, feels weird not being the source of it for once."
"We usually just take video clips and post them on pentsagram." Emeria said, showing off her scroll to the boy. "Believe me, this is the tame version of what happens everytime we have dinner here."
"Twenty snails says Eden sets dad on fire again." Edric offered.
"That was an accident that only happened four times!" The woman exclaimed.
"No need to worry, the samples of fire I saved were very useful to my research." No matter how many nerve endings on his back he lost.
"The fact you hang around criminals alone is a major red flag. I thought you had better standards than that." His wife brought up.
"As long as they're strong, that's all that matters." Shalisha casually sipped her tea. "Something I recall you have quite the hard time with back at Hexide."
"I was the top of my class!"
"The top of being a jerk that somehow one guy to look at her?" Edalyn snickered. "Seriously, you couldn't pay anyone to hang out with you back then. Honestly, I thought Darius Had more chemistry with Alador than you."
"Do not even try to suggest anything about that two bit hack with an ego complex, who can't even keep one half empty soda can on the side of the room!" He yelled, speaking up with a volume that he hadn't used in years.
The entire room was staring at him. "… You have something you want to get off your chest dad?" Amity asked.
"Ancient history, mittens. Darius could have joined us in our success during our company's foundation, but he and your father had … creative differences shall we say." Odalia answered for him.
"Basically Darius was a lazy neat guy and Alador was a bit hyper forced on his work." Eden explained. "With your mother practically guiding every move they made, the three of them were as thick as thieves."
"And then, you know … life made everyone from highschool a piece of snorseshit." Edalyn deadpanned.
"…They were like an anti-law." Amity shuddered with wide open eyes, sharing the same fearful look with the Clawthorne boy. "They're who we could've been like … we barely dodged this major bullet."
"Eh, don't get too wound up, I'm pretty sure it was just our generation." Edalyn waved off. "Even Eden used to be this nice girl to everyone until the school decided to gang up on her for some reason."
"Luckily I had a shining light in my life." The woman held Shalisha closely.
"You have a warped definition of shining and light." Odalia rolled her eyes.
"What did I say about settling down!?"
"So nobody matures no matter what generation you're from?" The human asked out loud.
"Depends on the situation … but for the most part, yes." Alador nodded. At least the food was good.
========================================================================
Lucci hated everything right now. His mom was embarrassing, Boscha's moms were embarrassing, Amity's family were annoying, and Luz looked like a statue of sheer awkwardness, out of place with anything. The only satisfaction he had right now was the sheer fact he knew he wasn't the only one miserable tonight. "How long do these arguments last?" Luz slumped, managing to get close to Amity while her mom was distracted.
"Usually five hours…but with Eda here, they might drag this to the entire night." The purple haired girl slapped her forehead.
"How hard do you think it'd be to slip out while they're busy?" Lucci whispered to Boscha.
"There's a sixty-forty chance we'll get caught." His girlfriend affirmed. "Mom had really good spacial vison.
"We good with those odds?" He asked his roomie.
"Yeah, let's just do it quietly and quickly so they don't spot us." Luz nodded, grabbing Amity by the hand. "This seems like a lot of trouble for both families if all they do is hate on each other."
"They're old and bitter and feel like venting their petty frustrations out on people they can egg an easy win." Amity groaned. "This is why I'm not looking forward to adulthood. All that bitterness is just going to hit me all at once because they're so terrible."
"I'd like to think I can choose how I turn out, otherwise that means I'll become some space demon tyrant that destroys planets." Lucci responded as they made their way to the door.
Suddenly a furry hand reached out and grabbed Lucci's shirt. "Take me with you." King begged quietly. "It's endless arguing, and with the tension in the air; I feel like this is either going to end with an explosion or an orgy…either way I don't want to be here when it happens."
"I've got you bro." Lucci gently placed King against his chest as they made their way to the door, almost clear of the powder keg about to go off. "So anyone feel like getting Ice scream? Between the basilisk invasion and the needless adult drama, I really feel like drowning my feeling in sugar right now."
"I'm down for that." Luz whispered. "Nice, calm double date."
"Shit, it will be a double date." Boscha grumbled, squeezing his hand. "Though I do still need to thank you for saving my life."
"Don't mention it … seriously don't. The less I remember the invasion, the better." So many thoughts swirling that should be buried in an effort to actually take on the Emperor's Coven. He wasn't lacking in motives for taking Boolus out, he didn't need Triton's memories to fuel that fire. With the portal thing and the guy just being a general ass, he wanted to gut the bastard on sight the next time he saw him.
"Once we get outside though, keep a close eye out, mom and dad brought along a few-" Amity began to warn
The door was opened, and the faces of several Abomatron drones filled the view, red alarms lights going off the moment they caught a look at him. "A little late for the warning, don't you think?" Lucci asked as he closed the door right back up.
"Amity!" The bitch shouted. "Sit back down right now, away from those trouble makers!"
"Mom, these are my friends, you agreed to that…!" Amity growled.
"Reluctantly." Amity's mom rolled her eyes.
"Besides, you don't even need me here! The five of you are clearly more invested in fighting each other than paying attention to us." Amity continued. "We're just props for you all to make your petty points income across."
"Besides, there's no point in having one kid around if none of them are going to stick around." Boscha rolled her eyes. "We could do without the human though."
"Oh come on, you've already started using my name, don't go back tracking on that now!"
"That was just temporary insanity!" Boscha called out.
"What's insane is you repeating the same awful behavior and expecting a different result each time." Amity glared at her.
"No, what's insane is you being so hush hush in front of everyone all of a sudden about your little girlfr-"
"If you finish that sentence, I swear to titan i will drown you in abomination goo!"
Lucci groaned, feeling stress just pile on all day. "I just wanted to rest, was that too much to ask?"
"Um … Lucci." Luz spoke up. "You're glowing pink."
"Of course, because why not something else go wrong-" He placed his hand against the door; accidently pushing his hand through, and into one of the abominatrons.
BOOM
And demolished it, along with a few rooms, abomination guards, and a section of the forest. After a few seconds of silence Mom pulled out the check and handed it back to Boscha's mom. "I'm guessing that'll cover the damages to your place."
"That's what you get for association with a criminal." Amity's mom snickered.
"Damn it; I could've sworn I made them explosion proof. That blood is tricky to work with." Amity's dad grumbled. "Maybe if I add in something more adhesive into the mix, with an increased fire resistance … but then it'd start lacking immunity to cold and become less flexible."
"Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me that you stole my blood." He readied a razor disk to chop the man's head off.
"Property Addendum Forty Three." The bitch rolled her eyes.
"... And that means …" Luz questioned.
"Wild witches and criminals are not allowed to own anything under the law. Your blood, and therefore powers, are fair game until someone claims your corpse upon death." Lucci really, really hated bureaucracy.
Amity's eyes winded. "…Unless a previously established contract or officially documented exchange between parties has been made."
Amity's mom's eyes twitched at that, but returned to that smug elitist gaze. "Well yes, but no such document or contract was ever made. The boy volunteered to showcase our products of his own free will. Anything he left behind is fair game."
"What if he didn't make that contract two months ago … what if he made it ten years ago in secret with the first friend he ever made?" Amity smirked as she twirled her fingers, summoning a pile of papers. "I made this the night that we met, because I know how much you like controlling my life."
"Hah, the old contract." The boy smirked. "Now you don't have anything."
"Other than the fact as Amity's legal guardian I receive her profits until she is old enough to count as an adult." The woman's eye was twitching a bit more.
"Not according to this." Amity cleared her throat and began reading. "I, Amity Blight; of clear sound mind and soul, renounce any and all financial profits, and for her share, any that don't transfer over to Lucifer Clawthorne, be given to her first and best friend, Willow Park." The silence was pure gold to see in action. "And given that you haven't shared a single penny to either parties, that is in clear violation of this established contract … so I'd get to paying if I were you mom."
"For once, I can sue someone." Lucci grinned. "Haha, the rich will die out!" Bocshca coughed. "The rotten ones will die out." He corrected.
"Go ahead." Oldalia rolled her eyes. "Be a criminal trying to win a court case."
"I believe this concludes tonight's dinner, thank you for coming, see you two later." Boscha's mama grabbed the two adult blights and dragged them towards the door.
"But the kids.." Amity's dad tried to say.
"..Probably want to have some time catching up with their friends after dealing with all our arguing, give the some privacy, good day and good night to you two." Boscha's Mama opened the door and threw them out.
"Starting to see where I get my athletic side from." His girlfriend nodded, looking impressed.
"I thought that was all natural." Lucci noted. "So we doing this?"
"What, you wanna use the law to take down someone?" Luz asked.
"It's more like we as LAW are manipulating the law to put advantage to knock down two arrogant bastards off their pedestal, but basically yes." Amity reaffirmed. "I've been wanting to use this contract for ages, only thing is how we're gonna pull this off without the law going for Lucci head on sight.
An idea entered his head. "Maybe not me … but I happen to know the greatest lawyer known to witch-"
"We will slap you if Tiger Millionaire comes into this." Luz, Amity, Mom, and King all said simultaneously.
"Actually, a false identity would be the best work around." Boscha brought up.
"A false identity is a good thing, yes." Amity agreed. "When it's a good one."
"Come on, I've put a lot of time and detail into his backstory, let me have this!"
"Lucci, it doesn't even rank in the top twenty of your best lies." King noted.
"..How much detail have you put into it?" Boscha's mom asked.
"I have two whole journals describing his entire life
"Wow." Boscha noted. "What kinda costume did you dedicate to him?"
"Tiger colored makeup, a tie, and a briefcase." Luz deadpanned.
"…Alright, we're definitely gonna iron out the details and get a more suitable costume for this…but this could actually work." Boscha skimmed through the pages.
"Ha. See, my girlfriend is on my side." He hugged her.
"... But we are having a discussion about your fashion sense."
"Call it even for betting me in a match against Bria."
"She did what now? " Mom asked.
"Run before she gets overzealous vengeance!" He shoved Boscha out the door.
"...As baffled as I am about us going through with this…how are we going to make this seem legit?" Luz asked. "He can't just show up in court like he owns the place."
"Leave that to me and Eden." Boscha's mom raised her hands. "Forging the proper paperwork is child's play compared to running a business."
========================================================================
Oldalia … was going … to murder someone. She wasn't quite sure who yet, but that was only because there were so many options to choose from at the moment. "How….HOW is this even happening right now!?" She pointed to the prosecutor, who was just that damn Clawthorne brat in that ridiculous tiger get up, except slightly less moronic looking.
"Money and status is irrelevant. To me, the word of the Emperor is the word of the Titan." The judge nodded.
"They are a covenless witch!" She pointed. "Just check his arm!"
"What, you mean this one?" The boy showed off his furry arm, which has a potion coven sigil on it.
"That's clearly a forgery! Makeup, illusion, that can't possibly be real!"
"Nope." Mittens, her own freaking daughter rubbed her finger on it…and nothing came off. "Nothing but skin and fur here."
"… That's legit to me." The judge shrugged, ignoring common sense. "State your case."
"Your honor, I like to pride myself as a humble and fairly well adjusted Tiger. I go about my days, digging holes, mining coconuts, and coming back home to a loving family. I try not to ask for much…but when my blood, my body is used without my consent for projects I would never be apart of…I just can't help but feel personally attacked." The brat wiped away a faux tear.
"A serious accusation." The Judge turned to her. "What project in question are you being accused of?"
She growled, she wanted nothing more than to strangle the judge for going along with this farce, her daughter for creating this ridiculous scenario in the first place, and most of all, that little criminal that SOMEHOW didn't manage to get arrested on sight. Unfortunately, she needed this case to end as quickly as possible. The family image would take a downfall if this was somehow made public. "Our Abomatrons … but I assure you our line of defense drones are only made with the corpses of demons and witch's that we've been approved to attain."
"Oh, your first two models, yes, but every line made since then has added a sample of my blood , which have used my bubbles without a hint of consent anywhere!"
"Wait, I'm confused." The judge stated. "Aren't bubbles the ability of the Manticore Menace, why do you have them?"
"My good sir, are you trying to insult my integrity and ability by comparing me to some lowly criminal?! I am simply outraged!"
"No sir, I'm simply trying to get the facts straight." The judge hastily corrected. "Now, while I understand the outright abuse of property, I must ask what task you deem unacceptable for use if these are security abominations."
"Security drones that hardly do their job. In fact, it is because of their faultymanufacturing that the home of the Heirynmous's…" The brat waved to that bitch Shalisha and her family, of who the head of the household smirked evilly at her. "Was partially destroyed due to a malfunction in which they exploded unprompted! How can the citizens of the Boiling Isles feel safe when these contraptions can blow up their homes on the flip of a snail!?"
"That was not faulty construction, that was due to the fact you sent half of the forest into complete oblivion with a push of the hand!"
"That's not how I remember it." Shalisha opened her idiotic mouth. "We were all in the dinning room, calmly discussing matters of business when her abomatrons exploded without reason. Her property not only destroyed mine, but put my darling daughter, my beautiful wife, and all of her friends in danger."
"No other clients reported that issue." She turned to the judge with a smirk. "You can ask the Emperor's Coven yourself."
"Oh yes. And for that, I have a surprise witness!" The brat pointed to the door. "Steve, come on out!"
There was no response for a minute, before the door opened. "Hello."
"Severine?"
"Steve said, and I quote, 'Lawyers are evil and never to be trusted as far as you can touch them', so he sent me instead." The pointy eared coven scout shrugged. "But yeah, the abominatrons are super buggy, and hardly that useful. In fact, they almost killed me and my squad because they kept shooting friendly fire. And yes, they explode far too easily."
"That makes sense to me."
"Oh come on, one voice!?"
"The voice of the Emperor Coven, who never lie." The judge banged his gavel. "I hereby rule in favor of Tiger Millionaire. All abomatrons using his blood are to be demolished."
"Hang on, can't we extend this to all abomatrons for their in's unsanctioned practices?" The boy she was going to murder asked.
"Sorry, for that you'd need to have approval of the Emperor, of which he is the exclusive buyer of." At least their biggest contract was still salvageable. "Henceforth, all monetary gain made from the use of Tiger Millionaire's blood shall be directed solely to Tiger Millionaire and whoever he chooses to transfer his wealth towards. Which given the paper I've received amounts to…..100,000,000 snails."
"Yes!" The boy shouted. "We're rich!"
"We beat mom, we finally won against her!" Amity hugged the brat and the two jumped around like idiots. She was so grounded when they got back home.
"Wait a minute … your name isn't on this contract."
"… Come again?"
"Amity Blight, Lucifer Clawthorne … Ah, here we go. A hundred million snails to Willow Park."
There was a moment of silence that filled the room. "...Eh, still a win if your mom loses." The brat shrugged. Murder was too easy at this point.