Summary: Family helping family
Centi watched as the owl leaned down to her. "Alright, money is tight, so we need to teach you how to play dead. That way, we can totally play 'hero' and force people to pay for our service." They explained.
" Krkrkrkr." Centi barely took heed of what the old owl was trying to communicate with her as she narrowed her gaze at the smaller, tastier smelling one within her hand. The girl was giving out less and less chaps as the days went by, and while Centi felt no hunger, cravings still existed with the little she could comprehend of the world.
"Kid, it's not listening." The owl deadpanned. "I'm gonna need to throw Centi at people and poof them so we can get rewards."
"We are not poofing Centi!" The girl grabbed her mane, scratching her gently. "She has done literally nothing wrong."
"She spent five hours yesterday chasing around Lily's palisman trying to eat it." The older owl glared. "I'm used to dangerous creatures living in my house, but if this thing's going to keep living with us, it has to prove it's worth.
"I thought we didn't care about Lilith?" The little fuzzy thing asked. "Or was I reading the situation wrong?"
"She didn't know the truth, and she took half the curse, she's fine in my books … still gonna ring out some work from her guilt while we have it though." The owl shrugged. "Besides, even if I was still bitter, it's nothing compared to how Lucci's taking it."
"About that, are you sure that leaving him alone with your sister was the best decision?" The girl asked. "I get him needing to recover, but him and Lilith get along as well as a snake and a mongoose."
"Which is why, for a disturbing change, I left Hooty in charge." There was a pause. "If the house is on fire when I come back, King will have to be the breadwinner of the family." The owl shivered. "King of all demons… point is, we're getting desperate here, and we need to think outside the box, hence the Crystal devil plan."
"Well, I'm not going for it, you need my sword to poof her, and I can actually carry it now." The girl lifted something sharp and pink over her head. "So I say we put my newfound skills to good use and bag us some bounties. The Coven scouts aren't chasing us, so we won't be hunted down like Lucci was."
"So you'll be selling out my fellow wild witches for a pretty snail?" The owl asked like she was against the idea, before waving her hand a snorting. "Hah, just yanking your chain, go for it. But in all seriousness, the cost ratio is really not worth it considering our food budget. At least according to Bizy's complaints."
"Again, I find it disturbing that you were so intimate with a woman that was trying to kill you." The furry child shivered.
" Was intimate." The owl rolled her eyes. "Then she got it in her head that Lucci's the reincarnation of some crazy woman. I haven't heard any news or sightings about her lately, so that hopefully means Lilith buried her deep somewhere."
"Wait, what was that about reincarnation-Never mind, we don't have time for overarching plots." Her girl shook her head. "We just need to go for something high up, one that isn't Lucci's bounty, and we should be golden."
"That's going to be hard." The furry child pointed to a nearby board, where pictures of the pink boy were plastered all over. "Lucci's a bit too infamous now. It doesn't leave a lot of room for other higher paying gigs."
"Hm… hey, here's one for a million snails!" The girl pointed to a picture that looked like seafood. "It's for something called a Selkidomous. It's been ravaging a bunch of boats."
"A wild demon that causes problems for sailors with nets." The owl told her. "A wild animal that lives in the boiling sea , you know, the one place practically no witch alive can survive ten second's in without being turned into soup? You know what I'm getting at here, right?"
"You're right … I've gotta pack up on ice glyphs!" Her girl ran off with the fuzzy one, leaving Centi alone with the Owl.
"Crkkkkk."
"Ugh, why did she have to get so attached to you?" The owl groaned as she leaned against a nearby wall and sat down. "How pathetic is this? I was the most powerful witch on the boiling isles, but without my magic, I'm nothing. I couldn't protect my son, and my human's bending over backwards trying to take care of me."
"Rrrrrkkk." She was a bit self sacrificing, Centi could agree on that.
"Of course I love that about her, she's way too giving for her own good." The owl smiled. "She's like me if I actually had a conscience…one that isn't shot full of holes. I trust her to take on bigger bounties, but I don't have the power to help her if there's even one screw up."
" Krkrkrk." The owl sounded like a caring provider. A bit too worried though.
"Any time I leave them alone they either end up kidnapped or half dead, how do you think I'm supposed to feel?" She chuckled. "But they are getting better, better than even I was at their age. Makes me proud."
"Jrkjrkjrkjrk." Well, it wasn't like there was anything else she could do, unless she could suddenly provide whatever they needed.
"What they need right now is money … a boatload of it." They muttered, a hand on their chin. "Maybe I could try a big old school style robbery, with nothing but wits and potions."
"Krk ." Her choice in the end, even if it sounded like it clashed with what the girl was going to do.
"Which is why I'm not going to tell her. I'll steal the money before she even comes close to the selkie domus. 'llI save her and feed my family for the next month, it's foolproof!"
" Mrkrkrkrkr."
"... Talking with you reminds me way too much of baby Lucci… and your both crystal devils… I don't know if I like where this jackalope hole is leading."
"Hoot." The tasty thing noted.
"Yeah, let's drop her off at the house and refocus our stock before I go insane." Such a strange group they lived with.
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Hooty watched as Lucci messed with some bubbles. "Lets see … no, that wouldn't solve the problem … I can't do that either." He muttered to himself. "Maybe I can store up enough air inside of them that they cause a shockwave on popping? It would be an alternative to needing Amity all the time for exploding bubbles."
The boy hadn't taken the time to rest at all, even with most of his body still wrapped in bandages. His fast healing had taken a dive in whatever fight he got in. "Lucci, still working the grind? Come one, take a break, sing a song! Get your mind off satisfying revenge and just enjoy yourself!" Hooty subtly suggested.
"Hooty, I would be perfectly content if I got outpowered, but this was me getting outconned. I will not sleep until I can make my powers better than him." The boy growled out. "Alright, let's try focusing on containment? Bubbles that can phase through one way, store enemy attacks and launch them right back at them …" They went on.
"You know, Lucifer, I'd be more than willing to give helpful advice in your little endeavor… if you'd put down the barrier." Lilith, or as Hooty began to call her, LuLu, said as she knocked on the pink wall Lucci had put up in the middle of the room. She had been trying to mend the bridge between herself and the boy as of late, though Lucci had been less than willing to let her help.
"That's part of my training, keep up my powers for as long as possible." The boy waved off handedly. "If you're worried about me straining myself, I can shrink it."
"I … considering your wounds, that actually would be nice." The boy nodded, shrinking the wall … into a small cocoon around the Clawthorne woman. "I honestly don't know what I was expecting."
"Again, just a part of the training, Aunt Lilith. Learning to restrain dangerous and or untrustworthy enemies." Even bigger shame, the boy had stopped calling LuLu Lilly. Even when he didn't completely like her before, Lucci alway used the nickname. "So since I got you tied down for the moment, any ideas on how to beat that Golden Tool?"
"Artificial Magic is similar to Oracle Magic in its need for a medium." She responded. "Manage to get rid of the staff and he'll have to fight naturally … although since no one's managed to do that, it's unsure if he's just holding back the entire time."
"Great, I barely made it out alive using everything I had and I have no idea of his upper limit." Lucci grumbled. "Alright, I need to definitely get creative." He started messing with stuff. "Spike bubbles, spinning bubbles, shields that track, increase the durability of shields, higher piercing power drill …" The boy rambled on.
"I admire your creativity and dedication dear nephew…" LuLu tried to compliment as she had to wiggle out enough space in her tiny confinement. "But you should focus on building one power at a time rather than multiple at once."
The boy stared at her for a moment, before sighing. "Fine then … bubbles." He dissipated them all, looking at the object in his hand. "I can make a large amount of them, the round shape gives versatility, and they can quadruple in long range, close up, offense, and defense …" Lucci nodded. "Okay, increasing the power on my bubbles."
The boy was going to burn himself out. He needed something to get him out of this funk. "I'm back!" Eda slammed the door open, though Lucci didn't seem to notice. The mother's smile immediately dropped as she watched as the boy focused on his magic.
"Faster … more durable …" He noticed her glare as the shadow loomed over him. "... I can totally-"
"Rest, now mister." Eda commanded, looking over to Lulu. "And while you're at it, free your aunt. She's a guest, not a prisoner. What do I alway say about treating guests?"
"Make sure to empty their pockets as they leave?" Lucci asked.
"And…..?" The Owl lady raised an eye.
"... And if your going to mess with them, limit it to spitballs and smoke bombs." The boy sighed, making the bubble around Lulu pop.
"It's reached the point where I'm not even able to point out your mothering techniques." Lulu lamented.
Eda snorted as she helped her sister up. "Eh, give it time, Lucci will learn to drop the grudge soon enough, right kiddo?"
"Depends, are you ever going to forgive Amity for the memory incident?" Lucci countered.
"... So!" The woman switched topics. "I'm going to whip up some potions. Lilith, you're on an ingredient run for everything I'm using up. Lucci, rest. Hooty, use force to make him rest."
"Oh boy, mandatory tea party! Those are always the best!" Hooty nuzzled his best buddy's face. "It'll be just like the old days! I can beat up Steve and the others and make it a full table!"
"Normally I'd make a fuss about the danger of some of these, but avoiding that is preferable in any scenario." Lulu joked as she picked up the list. "You know Eda, if you are in need of assistance with whatever you have planned, I'd be more than willing too.."
"Nope, gotta do this one solo. You doing this both helps me and gives you time away from the house so you don't wallow in your own self pity all day." Eda smirked as she headed up the stairs. "Okay, I'm going to go rob a ship, don't wait up for me, byyeeeeeeeee!"
Lilith turned to Hooty. "Before I embark on this death quest, I have to ask … is it always like this with her?"
"All the time, Lulu. It isn't the Owl House if there isn't something fun going on at every minute!" Hooty gleefully answered.
"Don't call me Lulu." Lilith grumbled, grabbing a bag. "It's been a good minute since I've done potion or beast keeping magic, but I'm sure I can manage."
"Are you sure about that?" Lucci asked. "The forest is pretty dangerous, and you're not exactly in top form, for once, that's not an insult, just stating a fact."
"Don't look down on me just because I lost my magic, I'm still one of the best witches around." They responded, shutting his door.
"Oh, should I get your carakilltea?" Hooty asked. "Or are we mixing it up tonight?"
"I'd rather do something useful other than laying on my butt all day." Lucci answered, sitting himself up. "As much as I'd like to see it, Lilith's going to get herself killed, and I know mom, for some weird reason, isn't going to like that.
"No way mister. I got told by Eda to make sure you rested in bed." Hooty put on his serious voice. "By force if necessary."
Lucci looked at him for a second. "Oh, I see…" Lucci sighed. "I just thought the tea party would've been more fun if Lulu was with us. I could've helped her get done faster and she would've been so happy for the help she'd joined us in an instant.
Hooty gasped. "What are we waiting for! We gotta get everyone ready!" Hooty picked Lucci up, about to leave.
"Alright, all ready to …" The Owl Lady looked at them from the window she was about to fly out of.
"... You couldn't even wait until I left before you decided to disobey me!? If you're gonna go against your mother, at least be smart about it!"
"....So sneak out after you're out of sight?"
"Ugh, I thought I raised you to be sneakier than this… where did I go wrong?" Eda groaned. "If I didn't do the same things growing up, I'd glue you to that couch." She adjusted the potions on her straps. "Fine, go out, but if you lose any limbs, you're grounded for a year."
"Understood. Love you mom!" Lucci waved.
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King took a couple of crackers into his mouth. "Why don't people motivate animals with snacks all the time? This is clearly the best way to win hearts." Sure, the smell of barnacles was unbearable, but as long as he had a happy stomach, he saw no downsides.
"I wish Centi felt the same. I haven't been able to find a replacement food to keep her calm." Luz sighed as she swabbed the deck. "Chaaps were the only thing that worked, and I'm down to my last bag."
"Oof … That's gonna blow." King nodded. "She was such a loyal soldier to boot. A fine addition to the demon army."
"Don't start talking like she's an animal that needs to be put down!" Luz yelled defensively. "She's the first friend I ever made, and just because I don't have replacement chaaps doesn't mean I wont find one eventually!"
"Uh… right, right!" He forgot just how sensitive Luz could be over Centi."You just need something salty and sweet … like crackers." They took another bite. "Mmmm."
"I tried that, she doesn't like eating anything made on the boiling isles." The girl sighed. "It must be the corn syrup."
"You can get maple syrup from corn?" What masterpieces of culinary delights had King been missing out on?
"Not important. What is important is getting this Selki job done by the end of the day." Luz scrubbed harder. "We're so low on money now, Eda can't afford to buy apple blood."
"That's actually a good thing, you know that, right?" King tapped her head. "She'll be less likely to drink and fly now on Owlbert."
"… She's been drinking and flying?!" Luz asked with horror.
"You have no idea how little Eda cares for her safety, do you?" King asked sarcastically. "She's reckless, just like you can get when you're overly worried about fixing a problem."
Luz looked contemplative at that. "Then I should get to doing this before she does something stupid." But that was her default. "And there, last barnacle scrubbed!"
"Cover your ears mates!" The captain shouted. "The sirens be singing their songs, luring us to their ravenous maws."
Luz looked confused. "Guess it doesn't work on humans …" She looked over the side. "Jokes on you, I'm immune to siren music! You can't drag me to your level!" She cackled.
There was a beat of silence as the melodious voices stopped. "Shipping is lame!" A voice from the sea called out.
"RAM THOSE BITCHES THROUGH AND GRIND THEM INTO SUSHI!" Luz began throwing fireball after fireball at the source of the voice.
"Tie her up, she's gone feral!" King shouted up to the captain. "She'll jump into the sea to tear off their heads at this point!"
"No can do! The Selkiedomus is afoot!" The captain replied, pointing to the other side, where a large green and covered in seaweed beast, ramming the side of the boat in a roar of feral rage.
It seemed like this got Luz out of her homicidal rage. "King, run to the back, grab the nets."
"Fine with me!" He ran to the captain's room, eager to get away from getting stuck in between a wild animal and a Selkindomus. "Ugh, no one told me life at sea was this life threatening." King took a deep breath and looked around. "Now if I was a net, where would I be?" Behind the desk labeled with the Emperor's coven sigil, behind the posters of the Emperor's sigil, behind the crates covered in the Emperor's sigil….
King did a double take and looked around again, making sure he wasn't just imagining things. "Oh … oh." This wasn't good. "We're on an emperor's ship."
"Yep." … He slowly turned to the golden masked man next to him. "And can I ask what brings you here, into the restricted space?"
Come on King, think fast! "Grabbing a net for a completely legitimate job of catching the selkie for this ship. You can ask the captain if you want." Believe him, believe him!
"Oh I believe you, don't worry." The golden masked person began walking up, making King slowly sink into a corner. "But you see, I know you're that little pet that belongs to the Owl Lady, and right now, there happens to be a distinct lack of money on the ship that someone just so happened to plunder off with."
"… You're gonna make me bait, aren't you?" He deadpanned in an exhausted tone.
"Absolutely." The Golden Guard grabbed him by the tail. "I try not to let my emotions cloud my judgment, I'm a rational and practical type of guy….but after the little stunt that freaking pink Devil pulled, I'm feeling just a little miffed, so excuse me if I'm a little rough."
Great, their first job, and Clawthorne hijinks already ruined their pay. At least Lucci got the excuse to rest in bed.
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Lilith wished she was in bed right now. One hour in the woods and she already felt like she went through coven scout training three times over. Flying snakes pierced ten new holes in her body, Porkuquills littered her backside, and she was colorblind now from cockatrice venom.
She remembered potion magic being much easier to secure before…back when she still had an ounce of magic in her bile sack. She should have asked Edalyn where they kept the spare antiven-no! She didn't need help, she wasn't some nobody witch, she was the former coven head of the Emperor himself! She could do this. Lilith Clawthorne live in the middle of the woods for most of her childhood, she would conquer this forest, or die trying!
The powerful and intelligent witch made her step … as she stepped in something that made a squishing noise. "… There goes my last good shoe….and my dignity." Why was life so cruel?
"I could have sworn you lost your dignity years ago." A voice she was both grateful for and dredging made itself known. "You know, since you were an Emperor goon and lost your free agency."
"Believe me, Lucifer, I do not need to be reminded of my mistakes, let alone reminded daily by you." She glared at her nephew, riding on top of that bird worm that continued to pester her nightmares to no end. "What are you even doing here? Didn't your mother threaten you to rest in bed?" Lilith asked.
"You're not the only Clawthorne in this family that wants to prove something." The boy answered. "Sitting around at home doesn't feel right anymore. I need to do something or I'm gonna lose it."
"And I brought moral support!" The owl thing shouted. "Hoot hoot!"
"Gee, I wonder why you're losing it with such pleasant company around." Lilith rolled her eyes. If the house demon wasn't the only solid defense the house had, she would've ripped it out of the door and grinded the guts into soup.
"He actually is if you'd get to know him." The boy pouted. "Then again you tend to ignore most of your company on the fly."
"Because I'm left with so many wonderful options." Lilith countered. "A crystal devil that's constantly trying to devour my palisman, an overgrown cat with delusions of grandeur, a human child way in over her head, my sister, who I can barely bring myself to face when I've ruined her life, and you, an out of control wild child that can't so much as go five seconds without belittling me when all I've done since losing my magic and losing everything that brought my life worth is try to be peaceful!"
"… I was referring to Steve in the Emperor's Coven." Lucifer responded slowly. "From the time you were actually working for the enemy."
"Oh….I see." Lilith blushed, turning her head.
"Do you want to talk about it?" The house demon offered. "Bottling up all those nasty negative emotions will drive you mad."
"I don't think I'll take lessons in sanity from a creature that think's its own reflection is some sort of duplication."
"THAT BASTARD KNOWS WHAT HE DID!" How has Lilith survived being in this house for so long?
"Would you kindly step back and stay quiet while I work?" She asked the two of them. "Right now I'm gathering firebee honey. I think I'll do it alone considering what happened last time."
"Hey, I'm in the beast keeping track, I can handle a couple of firebees." Lucifer argued. "When was the last time you even did beast keeping or potions?"
"I believe that was when you set me on fire last week, with said firebees?" It was sad when this counted as civil conversation. "And I'll have you know I was in the potion's track as well during my time at Hexide. Your mother and I were lab partners. She'd toss together whatever ingredients she could find, and I'd find a way to make practical use of it." Lilith smiled fondly. "She wanted to use magic to conquer, I wanted to use it to discover … When we managed to pull our heads together, we were unstoppable.
"....You two really did do everything together, didn't you?" Lucifer's voice for once didn't sound like he was trying to antagonize her.
"Pretty much … whether it was against my will or not." She answered. "So many crazy adventures. Me, her, and on occasion Raine."
"Raine?" Lucifer asked. "I don't think I've heard that name before."
"She never told you?" Lilith smirked. "They were-"
Snap
A branch broke as a familiarly terrifying voice spoke out. "Thank stars those stingers were so tiny." Spoke the Rainbow Devil as she walked through the woods. "Otherwise I might have been … poofed …" The revived bounty hunter trailed off, staring at them.
"Tall, buff, gray skin…colorful dreadlocks…." Lucifer's mind began to piece the puzzles together. "This is the Rainbow Devil, isn't it?"
"Yes, yes she is." Lilith nodded.
"And she's chasing after me, isn't she?" Lucifer questioned.
"Yes, yes I am." The creature dropped her supplies, cracking her neck. "This is for the stab wound!" They rushed forward, hand shifting into a hammer.
"The what now?!" Lucifer and her split apart, ducking out of the way as the notorious bounty hunter slammed the ground, a notable small quake emerging that kept the two of them off balance.
"This is for all innocent people you dragged into your little sick war games!" The deranged woman hamer hand lit up on fire and shot out at her nephew, who's shield was barely able to block the blow as he was slammed into a tree.
"Look lady, I'd think I'd remember someone as crazy dangerous as you! Stop talking like we've met before!" Lucifer shouted as he threw out at one of his spiked disks… that the Rainbow Devil split in half by forming her hand into a blade.
"Oh, you think you're clever, hiding inside a body like that?" The woman chuckled. "All it did was make you weak!" The Rainbow Devil rushed forward, using her blades to split apart trees where Lucifer once stood. "Weak just like the people you claimed to protect! The irony of it all!"
"Don't bother trying to reason with her, nephew! Last time your mother and I encountered the Rainbow Devil, she was convinced you're some reincarnation of an old enemy of hers!" Lilith warned, trying to do something, ANYTHING that could help the situation. She tried to use an ice spell to free the madwoman in place… and just got an ice cube that quickly melted on the ground.
"Who the hell would pick a fight with the immortal crazy woman that goes toe to toe with Coven Heads?!" The boy shouted as he ducked under another swing.
"Oh like you didn't plan something bigger!" Another crack in the ground from their swing. "A fight with Homeworld, freedom, it was all some big lie, wasn't it?! Just like now!"
"I have never lied… to you at least, because I've never met you!"
"You hid yourself inside of Eda's house and claimed that as your alibi!?" The devil shouted. "You're not going to get away with hurting anyone else, Rose!"
"Who the hell is Rose!?" Lucifer shouted defiantly as he was hit right in the chest with a fire hammer attack.
"I don't know, because apparently that was another lie on top of a lie, you selfish, sanctimonious upper crust DIAMOND!" The Rainbow Devil turned her left arm into a sword. "Once I carve that gem out of that body, I'm going to make you watch as I smash it to pieces before you poof away forever!"
"Hey, I take offense to the upper crust!" Lucifer shouted. "I am a perfectly content criminal!"
"So you ADMIT IT!" They shoved their hands together, warping her arms around as they shifted into a hammer … less than avoidable.
"You're not going to do anything to my nephew!" Lilth rushed in, using Mike to push Lucifer out of the way as they felt the aftershock of the attack, stumbling to the ground. She may not be able to do much with her palisman now, but she could still fly."I don't know, or particularly care what vendetta your trying to accomplish, but I won't let it harm my family! I'm still Lilith Clawthorne, and I am a witch to be feared!"
"Are you?" The Rainbow Devil asked, turning to face them. "You and Eda together teamed up to get a simple stab at me. Now Rose is injured and you've lost your touch … as for me?" The woman began casting, as an orange circle with a rainbow pulse radiating from it formed. "I was holding back last time."
The ground began to shift, a box of stone formed around them, trapping the two within. The walls began to close in menacingly, spikes being shot from the ceiling. "Edalyn wasn't kidding about her construction magic." Lilith gulped; looming at her nephew, who was struggling to keep a bubble around them.
"Alright … just need … to push back …" He winced as the bubble began to expand and contract repeatedly. "Oh this was a mistake, this was such a mistake."
"Just take deep breaths, Lucifer. Don't strain yourself too much." Lilith put aside the need to say 'I told you so', given that they were about to die.
The child took a deep breath … as the bubble began to retract. "Calming down is not helping our situation! My powers work best under emotional stress!" What kind of power requires you to be emotionally overloaded to complete a simple action? "Hooty, if you're still out there, we really, REALLY need you to kick that crazy woman's ass!" … They were dead, there was no doubt about it now.
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Luz continued to skate across the boiling sea. "Don't think you can get away, you crazy lady!" She shouted, using ice glyphs to keep her afloat, and fire glyphs to keep her moving forward. "Give back what you stole!"
She swabbed the deck, she shoveled coal, she scrabbed barnacles, and she had to deal with trolling sirens(which she would double back for death some day). Luz Noceda was NOT going to let all that go to waste from some wannabe thief.
Though in retrospect, maybe she should've taken one of the spare lifeboats or made a bigger ice glyph, because her boat was melting fast, and she was barely able to skate on by with one foot by the time she made it close enough to the thief.
"Gotcha!" Luz shouted, jumping onto them. "You'll never get away with this, you crazy broad!"
"Hey, watch what you say around me …" Eda and Luz stared at each other for a moment.
"Ah nuts."
Crash
Then Luz saw nothing but sand. "Kid, you alright!?" Eda called out to her.
"Me alright!? I was fine and about to solve our money troubles until you stole the snails they were about to pay me with!" Luz spat out the sand.
"Well you shouldn't be on an emperor's ship to begin with, it's dangerous!" Eda argued back.
"First off, I didn't know it was an emperor's ship." Luz admitted with a bit of shame. "And second, even if I DID know, I still would have gone. For whatever reason Belos wants me in one piece, so that means I'm in the clear!"
"Technically, you're half right." … The two of them turned to the guy with a golden bird mask. "Hey there criminals."
"White cloak, golden mask, annoying voice, you must be the Golden Tool Lucci told us about." Eda summarized, grabbing ahold of one of the potions strapped to herself. "Well you saved me the trouble of me hunting you down in retaliation."
"Nah Ah Ah. Take one step closer, and I will drown your bird." The guard held up a bird cage… that had King!? "Cat … dog … What exactly is he?"
"Cranky and annoyed! King wants a cracker!" The little guy shouted from his cage.
"Let him go!" Luz shouted, raising a glyph.
"Now, if I had my way, I would toss the Owl Lady into the boiling seas, use this … thing as bait for the Devil, and leave the human here until I was done." The bastard began walking casually like he had no care in the world. "But I got a job to do and so little time to do it, so for one day only, I'm willing to be nice." He pointed his staff at a trail that led into a cave. "Kill the Selkidomus and I'll forget about arresting anybody today." Luz looked at the cave, opening her mouth. "You're not getting paid. Part of the deal is not arresting the owl lady for stealing and losing the snails."
"Losing, they're right…" Eda pointed to the sack….that drifted into the boiling water and sank into the sea.
"So not only was this entire trip worthless, we're ending up with less than what we started with?" Luz deadpanned, feeling a bit spiteful about the situation for a change. For once, she was the one in the right!
"I mean, you could always cash in the devil's bounty, but I know you're too moronically sentimental to do that."
Luz glared at him. "One day, I'm gonna shove a glyph under that mask, and then we'll see who has the last laugh." The girl grumbled as she walked to the cave.
"Luz, wait, don't just barge in there half cocked!" Eda followed behind her.
"You mean like you did when you lost the money I was about to earn?" She asked. "Because we're desperately low on it and are living on very few options as it is."
"You shouldn't have to worry about making money, you're just a kid!" Eda yelled. "More importantly, your my kid! I have to be the one taking care of you, not the other way around."
"Eda, you already sacrificed enough!" Luz shouted. "Your magic, your apple blood, your original income, at this rate we won't have enough for the Elixir, then what's gonna happen to us!? Because you're the only one who can teach me how to survive this world." Luz sniffed. "If I wasn't around, you wouldn't have to suffer."
The old woman wiped her face. "Luz, before you came along, I was content with just wasting my magic. I only had Lucci and king to live for, and you know how terrible of a role model I am.."
"Eda…"
"But thanks to you, I'm not wanted anymore, my son's not petrified, I'm talking to my sister again without trying to kill each other, and you got Lucci to trust his friends again. He actually has a chance for a future, to be better than me. So yeah.." Eda's eyes were watery. "I think my life is pretty great because your in it."
Well, shove a gatling gun onto her heart why don't ya? "I love you Eda!" She hugged the woman.
"I love you too, kid!" So many feel overwhelming her heart. She could barely take it all at once.
"Prrrrrrerrpppppprrr." They both turned to the edge of the cave, where they saw the giant creature… cuddling a much smaller looking one.
"Life reflects nature!" Luz shouted. "It's all too beautiful!!"
"Yeah, I appreciate the sentimental irony of it too, but we still need to get that Golden brat off our tails." Eda reminded her.
"Oh yeah …" She looked at the situation, and at the walls, and at some gunk around them. "... How good are your acting skills?"
"I wouldn't be an infamously renowned liar if I couldn't slip into just about any role." Eda smirked.
"Then let's fake a murder scene." Luz grinned.
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Bismuth continued to gently squeeze her hands as the stone walls crushed Rose and that huffed up Emperor Coven's head. They were in her grasp, a few more squeezes and they'd be dead, and she'd end that traitor once and for all.
Sure, she could try to get some damn answers out of the pink bitch, ask her about the way of it all, why she'd play such a cruel game, why she, a freaking DIAMOND, got so much pleasure out of messing with people's lives, but frankly, Bismuth didn't care. No amount of explanation would be able to undo the damage Rose did, and she'd never be able to make up for casting her away from earth, away from the crystal gems, from all the poor suckers that were dumb enough like Bismuth to fall for the act.
It was all a game, wasn't it? Play both sides, gather up any gems that didn't want to follow Homeworld's rules in one spot, then when it was time, shatter them all. Seemed like the psychotic thing an upper crust would do. What did that mean about the Crystal Gems. Little Lamar, Crazy Legs, Garnet … Pearl . Bismuth growled as she squeezed tighter, increasing the pressure on the captives.
"HOOTY! If you're still out there, then we REALLY need you to kick that crazy woman's ass!" The bitch of the hour shouted feebly as the cage she made got smaller.
"Nope!" The weird bird demon shouted. "Lulu said she wanted to handle it on her own, and I, as a friend, am respecting her wishes."
"SERIOUSLY!?" The bitch cried out.
"I was prepared for fire bees, not the rainbow devil!" The Emperor goon cried out. "Do what you can …" There was a pause, followed by a groan. "Hootsifer!"
The demon looked blankly at the cage for a second, their eyes devoid of any emotion… of any soul, eyes that looked like they were the abyss… Bismuth genuinely felt unversed looking at this thing's face. "A NICKNAME! No one's ever given me a nickname before! Okay Lulu, I'll beat up the crazy rock broad and we will celebrate with a tea party later!"
"....On a second thought, maybe being crushed…"
"Oh don't you DARE change your mind! You're going to go to that tea party, and you're going to love it!" The bitch shouted. "Also, why is that nickname a pun on my name!?"
"I'm under duress! Hooty already sounds like a nickname as it is, I had to think of something!"
"Heheheh, yeah, you people really are as stupid as you are crazy." Bismuth laughed. "You think some overgrown bird worm is going to take me ou-"
For a gem that was never truly affected by weather and temperature given her resistant nature… Bismuth suddenly felt the air around her go cold and dead. "What…. did you …. just CALL MEEEEEE!?" And then Bismuth was no longer able to keep pressure on the trap keeping Rose down … because she was too busy making a shield to block the crazy bird that was pushing said shield, and by extension her, halfway across the forest.
"Where the heck was this strength earlier!?" She shouted, trying to form a plan to contain whatever this thing was, pushing against and reinforcing the wall that was keeping this bird freak from hitting her dead in the gem.
"My strength is always with me! I just like to save it for SPECIAL occasions!" The demon shouted, smashing the shield to pieces and head butting her into a tree. "I know some people can get scared, so I always hold back, so people can learn to drop their guard and get comfortable with being my friend!"
Bismuth drew some circles quickly as she rolled across the ground, hitting the dirt with her hands and forming some rock cannons to fire at the demon and buy her a few seconds of thinking. "Well you're really terrible at judging friends! Just like I was, and she'll betray you the first chance she gets!"
"Jokes on you, Lulu already betrayed everyone in her life and it destroyed her own, the only thing she can do is be my friend!" The demon wiggled out of the way of the attacks, moving around like it was a damn Spinel.
"Wrong chick!" She created multiple blades, trying to cut off the worm at their overly extended body. "I'm talking about Rose, the one hiding out as Eda's bastard of a kid!" The gem shouted to him.
"Wow, you're dumber than you look, making assumptions like that before you even know a person!" The crazy… thing… Dove underground, and spat out underneath her, launching her into the air. "Sure, Lucci's a bastard, but that's only because he's adopted! And you're so judgemental, calling him a she without asking if he was comfortable with it! You're so rude!"
"Can't you tell it's all a lie?!" Bismuth formed her hands into hammers, ready to strike him down just like a game of whack a giraffe. "It'll end with suffering if they continue to live another day!"
"Well Lucci makes me happy, so I'll gladly suffer hearing you talk!" The demon shouted as it hit her hammers head on … and pushed . "I don't like being too rough, especially on people I haven't met, but you're mean, and clearly not trying to be my friend! So I'm not going to hold back for even a second!" Reeling its head inward like some sort of spring, it shot itself forward, and smashed itself right into her hammers… where she felt her feet get off the ground, and her entire body moving in the opposite direction.
Boom
And now she was soaring through the sky, touching clouds. "You just had to do it, didn't you?" Bismuth growled as she fell through the air. "Just you wait Rose, I'll come back with something I've been cooking up for a while now."
The Castle Stomper to force it to be one on one … and something she made specifically for the Emperor … the Titan Crusher.
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Eda watched as Luz set up the last of the glyphs, giving her the 'okay' sign as she turned on the glyph. "Alright Selkie, have at the!" She could see out of the corner of her eye, the shadows Luz was doing with her hands. It looked like she was genuinely fighting the creature hand to hand.
"Luz no, you can't do it! It's a peaceful creature, it doesn't deserve to die!" Eda called out, trying to contain her snickering.
"We have no choice, not with King's life on the line!" Luz shouted with a shit eating grin. "Come on beast, eat my fire!" She tapped a glyph, sending a bolt of fire around the entrance of the cave to make it more believable.
"Kid, you have to stop. Be a criminal with a heart, not a criminal with a paycheck!" There was no reason they couldn't be both. Money was money after all, although in this case, there was no money to be had, and the golden brat outside hurt Lucci and had King in a cage. This was literally the bare minimum she could do in retaliation.
"Today, I shall be a criminal bathed in blood!" Using a plant glyph, they created vines for more intricate shadows, such as the pink sword being pulled out of nowhere and stabbing the selkie, using some strange goop to let out a burst of fluids all over the area.
"Luz, you've gone too far! I can't be your teacher anymore if you continue on this path!" Eda shouted defiantly.
"If that's the case, then I don't need you anymore!" Luz turned her 'attack's on her now. "And anyone that's not with me is against me! And anyone against shall DIE!"
"Then it seems I need to fix my own problem!" Eda grinned, taking up Owlbert as they started to 'epicly' fight one another with back and forth attacks. "You can't stop me kid, I've got years and years of experience on you!"
"Ha, who needs experience when you have youth, imagination, and BLOOD IN YOUR FACE!" Luz splatted the goo all over her, making Eda 'fall' of her staff from being 'blinded'.
"Aggg! Luz, this is crazy! You don't want to do this!"
"I know…and I do!" Luz raised her sword and swung it down at 'her', making it seem like she beheaded her. Thank the curse she could just pop it off.
"Oh my titan… wow… I just… wow…" They heard the golden guard comment nervously. "I mean, I guess this was going to be inevitable, but … wow… that's next level cruel."
Luz finished it off by taking her head, placing some of the goo on her ear, letting it drip down as it looked like the shadow Luz was drinking the blood off a torn head. "I am the new Owl Lady! All shall fear me!" Oh, never has Eda had so much fun faking her death. The only thing that was missing was one of her ex's watching it so she could get them off her back.
The girl tossed her head back onto her body a bit rudely, but understable, as she walked to the edge of the cave. "So do you want me to drag out the corpse, or should I just-"
"No, no… I'm good… I've seen enough little freak." If Eda wasn't playing dead right now, she'd be biting his leg. "Thank you for your service to the Emperor. Here's your birddogcat thing." The golden guard tossed over King's cage. "Try to stay out of trouble from here on out, or else.... Okay Byeeeeeeeee!" The kid got on his stupid metal staff and disappeared in a blurr.
Luz waited a few seconds, walking out to see if he was really gone before opening the cage. "Wow, Lucci wasn't kidding, he is annoying. Anyways, you're good to go, King." The girl looked back. "You two Selkie!"
"Pppprrrr." They watched the fellow mother and child come out as Eda got her head back on.
"Finally! I couldn't tell the difference between day and night inside of that dark and infinite prison." King stretched his arms out.
"Do you just go to sleep whenever someone turns off the light?" Luz asked the little guy.
"Wouldn't you? I'm a growing demon that needs all his rest." Lazy little guy. He was so lucky he was adorable.
"I'd get out of the area if I were you." She told the two sea creatures. "Lots of more people will try and cause you problems this close to the Boiling Isles."
"Pprprprprrrrr." The mother stared at them for a moment. " Kak. Kaaahhh." It began hacking.
"Oh don't tell she got sick and is about to pass away, starting the pup's journey to living on its own." Luz pouted.
"Nah, that won't happen for another ten to twenty years." Eda reassured.
"Kaaa. Bluuug." The creature finally vomited a familiar shiny substance onto the ground.
"No… no way…" Eda touched the golden looking substance. "Kids we hit the jackpot!" She dove right into the stuff. "We've made it big now!"
"Swimming in fish throw-up is us living big?" King asked skeptically. "Well, it shouldn't be too different than swimming through dead slug guts."
"No, don't see! This is Selki-Gris! The treasure of the sea!" Eda threw some of it in the air like confetti. "People pay a fortune for this stuff, especially in the night market. We won't have to worry about money for months, maybe even a year!"
"We got liquid gold!" Luz shouted with laughter, jumping into the pile. "We managed to solve our financial problems!" She dove down deep. "Now I'm going to swim in it like I'm a rich duck!"
"I don't get that reference, and right now I don't care!"
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"Okay, just a couple more licks and you should be good as new." Lucci told Lilith as they rested on the couch and healed their wounds. It was a long day, and the two of them were content with ending it as quickly as possible.
"I know there are some animals that lick wounds to clot the blood and close up the injury, but full on healing saliva is something else all together." The woman muttered as she looked at her perfectly healthy body.
"Yeah, that's why I joined the healing track too. I thought if I learned to make it any stronger, I could hold Mom's curse more, maybe even cure it." He answered with a shrug. "Haven't made much progress on that end, but I've learned a thing or two about resetting bones and disinfecting wounds."
"Wait, I thought you were in the beast keeping track?" She questioned.
"I am, Bump allowed me and a few others to multi-track." He answered. "One of the few reasons why I don't mind going to school now."
"... And the Emperor hasn't said anything … oh that can't be a good sign." Lilith looked worried.
"He hasn't done anything for now, so I'm just going to revel in the solace at the moment." He learned back. "So, the Rainbow Devil… she's the one who told you I was a Crystal Devil?"
"Yes… we weren't able to discern just how much truth she was telling us, but we managed to poof her like the rest of them."
"... Which means she's just gonna keep coming back endlessly without a means to genuinely stop her for good, right?" Lucci asked. "And…whatever I am….I don't poof.." If that was the case, he would've done it the moment that Golden Tool pierced his leg. "When Mom told me about being wanted criminal on the run, I thought it was amazing… this was a lot less fantastical then I imagined it being." He genuinely felt like he was going to die on multiple occasions… a feeling he's never had to deal with much until recently.
"No one wants to be a public criminal Lucifer, they just are because of circumstances. Your mother just had a habit of hamming up her reputation." Lilith explained.
"Great …" He looked down at his rock. "Give me the secret to being strong enough to live, will you?" Lucci asked rhetorically as he tapped it a few times.
"That's a question I've been asking for most of my life." Lilith sighed. "The only answer I can reasonably give is to work hard…one day at a time."
"I see." He nodded. "Lilith….thank you…for trying to protect me. We both almost got squashed to death, but…the thought was nice." Lucci would let her have this one, free of snark.
"Can we learn to bury the hatchet between us now?" His aunt asked him.
"It's… it's a start." Lucifer relented. He forgave Amity for arguably worse. He could forgive Lilith… eventually. "Help me come up with new insults for the Golden Tool and you'll get closer." She reached into a bag, handing him a very thick book that looked like that 'dictionary' mom found from the human world once.
"The second half is explicit insults." She said simply.
"Oooh, okay, you've earned three nephew points today." He laughed, opening it up.
"Awwww! This is so sweet! We're finally all getting along! Group hug!" Hooty wrapped around them and squeezed them into a tight snug hug.
"Yes, Yes, thank you, Hootsitfer. We wouldn't be here in any capacity without your aide and strength." Lilith patted the house demon's head.
"I have a nickname now, today rules!" The demon shouted as the door opened.
"You kept all your limbs, good." Mom said as she carried in a large squishy bag.
"Got a little close for comfort, but yeah, we survived, just barely." Lucci admitted. "What about you guys? You murder someone today?"
"Not today, though we had a run in with that Golden Twat." Luz grumbled. "You were right, his voice is annoying."
"I think I was the only one that didn't do anything wrong today." King muttered as he walked to the couch, hugging Francois. "Feels weird."
"I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I can't wait to go back to school." Lucci rubbed away the headache he had for the past few hours.
"Me too. It feels like forever since we saw the gang." Luz slumped right by the couch. "Just some old fashioned school hijinks that don't involve overarching plots or mysteries, like Lucci's parents, finding a new way home, or whatever the heck King is."
"I'm the King of Demons, doi." The little guy rolled his eyes. "And soon, I shall expand my army and become the King of Devils as well."
"Ambitious brat aren't you?" Lilith deadpanned.
"Between Lucci and Centi, I'm two for five."
"Krkrkrkrkr ."
"Right….I'm also…that." He grunted. The whole boiling isles knew….which means everyone at school would know. At least being half human was still a secret. "Do you think it's gonna be bad?" He asked Luz.
"Willow, Gus, and Amity should be fine. Skara still hangs around you … not sure about Boscha though, sorry dude."
"It's fine… I got one dance with her… Guess that was as far as it was meant to go." Suddenly being content with life… really… really sucked.