Summary: The Veggie incident ... dear titan help us all
Cat idly checked her scroll for unread texts as Boscha carried on the conversation. "I swear, if I have to hear my moms ask about my love life one more time, I'm gonna stab one of them." The girl complained. "Like seriously, I got more important things to focus on than dating. Grudgby isn't going to win itself."
"There's also the small fact that you'd have to find someone who'd want to date you, you know, being the fearless, ruthless and scary grudgby captain and all." Skara bluntly and accurately assessed.
"Why do you all keep implying I couldn't get a date if I tried?" The girl asked with a growl.
"Keep implying?" Amity asked. "When did I miss that?" Well she had been pretty on and off lately, probably then.
"Oh, we went to that Moon girl fortune teller in the lunchroom a while back and she gave us all a bunch of tellings." Cat explained. "She told us that Skara was going to lose someone she loved, that I was going to be successful, and that Amelia will fade into the background without a trace."
"That's an exaggeration and you know it!" Amelia shouted.
"Of course we do, girl." Cat reached out and ruffled said person's hair without looking away from her scroll. "You'll always be a Banshee." She honestly forgot that Amelia was here.
"Anyways, we all realized that the fortunes were bunk when they said Boscha would fall for somebody, because that ever happening will probably make reality collapse on itself." Skara kept explaining.
"You know, I have been working on a potion that can give people the pain of menopause. Would you like to be my test subject?" Their captain threatened with that menacing three eyed glare.
"Not to be completely rude, but I think it's more on the lines of you never actually being interested in anybody." Amity pointed out.
"No duh, the only options I have are the losers at school, and I don't date outside my social status."
"Oh come on, you can't say that wouldn't be fun." Amelia suggested. "Can you imagine it, just like Makero and Trumiet, two people of the wrong status, forbidden love as they embrace in taboo and scandal, secretly devouring each other in toxic beauty …" Everyone stared as the girl trailed off into a rant.
"Whatever. It's not like I see any of you dating anyone." Boscha rolled her eyes.
"Unless …" Cat smirked, a devilish idea forming into her head. "Has Ms Blight been sneaking out herself for love?"
"What, no. Me, in love, ridiculous. Completely ridiculous." She stammered with hints of red forming around her face.
"Oooh, you are!" Skara pointed accusingly. "Is it Willow? You used to hang out with her alot as a kid, right?"
"It's not Willow." They immediately spoke back with complete resolution.
"So it is someone?" Amelia caught on.
"No, it isn't anyone! I'm a Blight, I don't have feelings." Amity crossed her arms and kept her back turned.
"Yeah, Amity here already learned her lesson about hanging around losers a long time ago." Boscha smirked. "They get you nowhere in life so it's best to cut the fat when you can. A lesson the rest of you could stand to take note of."
"Aww, don't be like that Boscha." Skara continued her suicidal streek by wrapping an arm around the psychopath. "With a little bit of understanding, you can make a friend with just about anyone. From the witches around us, to the birds in the sky, to those fruits sneaking out of the bakery."
…. They all turned to a bunch of bipedal creatures that looked like overgrown apples, grapes, and broccoli, carrying out ingredients from a shop. That had to be the highlight of weird of her week. "You think they're friendly?" Cat asked.
"No….no….no…not again, not again!" Amity freaked out as the little freaks of nature came crawling towards them.
"...So I take that as a no-" Skara tried asking as one of the Berries tried jumping ontop of them.
The entire conversation was cut off by Amity. "GAAAAAA!!!" She screamed, as a a giant abomination foot came from her pack and stomped on the creatures. "LUCCI! YOU SON OF A BITCH!" She shouted as the foot continued stomping. "I WILL FIND YOU AND RIP OFF YOUR SKULL SO I CAN DROWN IT FOR MAKING THE INCIDENT REPEAT ITSELF!" The girl walked up to the mangled food bodies, drawing a spell circle and launching fireball after fireball inside of the small crater. "Burn … burn …"
Everyone just stared in disbelief, not quite sure what to say or what to make of Amity suddenly going full Boscha. "So….that happened." Boshca took out her scroll and began typing. "Attacked by killer produce, #gross #won'tdietosomethingthatpathetic."
"I think this is the first time I've found her hot." Amilia said as Amity began charging away.
"What was that?" Skara asked.
"I mean … oh no, more Killer Produce, lets run and pretend this never happened." Yeah, they weren't going to let that go anytime soon. "So who's place are we heading…"
"Scweeeeeee"
They all turned their heads to the ground, seeing the corpse of the still burning veggies get back up, regrowing their mashed up and shredded piece. "Ah guys…is it just me, or are there more than there were just a minute ago?" Skara asked.
"Yes, there are more." Cat nodded. "Meaning that running is no longer a viable option …" She pulled out her own scroll, taking a pic. "#doomedtoproduce, #lotsofregregrets."
"Ugh, such a lame way to die." Boscha rolled her eyes as the veggies began climbing all over them. "You better not take any selfies with my corpse! I have a rep to maintain even after death!" Well ghosts were a thing, so it wasn't too obscure a request to make.
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Lucci took another bite of ice scream. "Ah, nothing beats a sunny, soon to be gone, free day such as a frozen treat." He sighed in content. "Totally need this before I'm locked away in school."
"You know we have a vending pig at school right?" Gus asked. "They have sweets there for a snail."
"A single snail, what highway robbery." Lucci groaned. "It'll be hard to steal them too with those detention guards…though not impossible I suppose." He could always use a good challenge to sharpen his skills.
"Is your mind ever not thinking about larceny?" Luz asked him as she bit into her own cone.
"Of course not. It's a mix of larceny, arson, conning, relaxing, self improvement, and having genuine fun." Lucci answered with a smirk. All the essential skills one needed to make life good.
"It seems your modus operandi still stays the same even when your mom tries to improve it." Willow grumbled as she took a bite of her own treat.
"Oh last I checked, little miss flower pot had nothing against breaking the rules, or were all the times you dragged those jerks unground into the dirt just another thing you 'kept out sight, out of mind'?" Lucci countered back. He may have not hated the girl anymore, but she still bothered him with how she acted like she was better than him morally speaking.
"And last I checked, that was always because I had to bail you out from getting arrested or in trouble. I can't even count the number of buildings you set aflame before we were five."
"I think I was getting close to triple digits back then, so I count that as a clear cut win for me."
"Oh great, they're doing it again." Gus muttered as he pulled out a pair of earmuffs.
"Guys, you two hang out again, shouldn't that mean something?" Luz asked them. "Would it really kill you to just be a little nicer to each other?"
"I like to think we're nicer." Lucci gave a smile. "I haven't had any consideration on hitting her with enough force to bend metal."
"And I haven't turned him into mulch to feed my garden for the next month." Willow shared the same expression.
"See, progress. Slow, but progress." The boy nodded to his friend. "I mean, it's better than us and Amity."
"Yeah, screw Amity and her rich butt." Willow snickered.
"Seriously, the only time you two agree and it's when you're ripping on your other ex friend." Luz slapped her face. "You're making my mission to restore this friendship nearly impossible."
"Luz, that mission is in vain." Willow responded bluntly. "Amity is not friend material, at all, in any way."
"Oh come on, you make her seem like some sort of killer." Luz argued.
"LUCCCCI! I'M GOING TO KILL YOOOOOOOU!"
"...You know, of all the people I thought would outright try to kill me, Amity was somehow not at the top of the list." Lucci thought aloud.
"Really?" Gus asked. "She's tried to kill us so many times though."
"Yeah, but back in the old days Willow was pretty high herself." He shrugged as he placed a bubble around himself. "So what can I do you fo-"
The bubble cracked in an instant. "I WILL RIP OUT YOUR ENTRAILS AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT CLAWTHORNE!" The Blight called out as she sent multiple abomination hammers against the bubble, cracking it further and further. Wow, she seemed more peeved than usual.
"Whoa, Amity, Amity, chill, chill, chill!" Luz grabbed the Blight's hands and held them down. "Calm yourself girl, don't get lost in the psycho crazy rage mode." Amity's eyes seemed to almost freeze upon seeing Luz as her face got red like it usually did, though something about it seemed a little…awkward. "Now take a deep breath and explain yourself."
Amity did just that, taking a deep breath. "Lucci caused … a second … vegetable incident."
Lucci's eyes widened. "I did wa-" He was cut off by the vine's trying to choke him out of his life.
"YOU SWORE!" Willow shouted. "YOU SWORE TO NEVER DO PLANT MAGIC AGAIN CLAWTHORNE!" The vines squeezed tighter around his throat.
"I DID, I HAVEN'T TOUCHED PLANT MAGIC SINCE I WAS FOUR!" He wasn't going to take the accusation, using a razor disk to cut off the vines. "I-Ack.." He coughed. "My main focus is Bard and Healing magic now."
"Well back then it was only watermelon." Amity continued to accuse him. "Now there are apples, oranges, broccoli, and a whole cornucopia of food!"
"Seriously, how does the Boiling Isles have such a large variety but none of it seem edible?" Luz asked.
"You've seen mom's apple blood, right?" Lucci turned to his ONLY friend in this area. "Fruits and such here are more like meat that grow on trees, but not alive…"
"Yeah, they shouldn't be, until the vegetable incident ." Willow shuddered. "We swore to never go through that experience again, until now apparently." She glared at him.
"Hey! Again, never touched Plant Magic since that day, just ask Mom or Luz, I'm with them practically everyday. They know I only either do bard or my bubble magic."
"Well … there is illusion magic you do on occasion." Luz pointed out. "But other than that it's mostly just his own thing."
"And he's not that good at Illusions, so I doubt that'd cascade into plant monsters." Gus added in. He'd argue that, but it was a point in Lucci's favor.
"It doesn't matter who did it, even though it's super obvious who did." Amity just had to add that in, little jerk. "Those little gremlins just attacked my friends and we need to stop them!"
"Alright, new advent-" Luz began to jumped in the air with a raised fist.
" Why would we help you?" Both him and Willow asked at the same time.
"What?!" The rest of them shouted out.
"Riiiight." Willow rolled her eyes. "Because we should immediately jump into helping you after everything that happened lately, like the abomination incident, the witches duel, and whatever happened at the library."
"We don't have time to argue Willow! And I've been changing! Just ask Lucci, we're friends again!" What gave her that idea?
"Yeah….there's a difference between being more civil and being friends….not to mention you just tried to kill me." Lucci droned.
"Because it's your fault-"
"And you're not even giving me the benefit of the doubt, so yeah, we're barely associates as it is." And probably what they'll always be from this point on. "Pretty sure you guys can deal with this on your own, I'm going to do more productive things with my-"
Amity sighed. "They caught Boscha."
"Why the titan did it take you so long to warn us, Woman!?" Lucci disregarded every grievance he had to focus on the more important matters. "There's innocent people we need to save!"
"Of course." Willow growled. "Always comes back to Boscha."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Lucci argued.
"Okay, none of that is important." Luz raised her hands in front of them. "What matters is that we find and stop these plant guys …" She grinned. "With some team LAW action!"
"...No." Lucci and his two ex-friends said at the same time.
"We'll work together, but we're not using that name…ever." Willow put her foot down.
"Okay, we'll work up to it."
"No we won't." Lucci deadpanned.
"Can you guys at least tell me what the Vegetable Incident actually WAS before we dive headfirst into it?" Luz asked
Amity rolled her eyes. "It all started with some food the Owl Lady introduced us to….."
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Willow took a bite of the strange object. "So watery …" Water that didn't boil in her mouth, and this round thing was full of it!
"Hence why it's called a watermelon." Eda answered with a grin. "Yep, these are all over a certain country in the human world."
"Seriously, can't you come up with a cooler lie Mama?" Lucci asked. "The human world is so boring anytime you talk about it." The Owl lady was handing out samples of the latest items she planned on scamming people into buying.
"Well if it's so boring I could always just take these back…."
"NO!" Amity shouted, grabbing a slice of the red and green fruit and shoved it into Lucci's mouth. "It's cool, it's cool, Lucci was just being dramatic!" She must've really loved these fruits. Who could blame her? They were sweet and cute like Amity was. "Right Lucci?!"
"EMMMGHGMMGHMM." Lucci garbled as he forced the fruit down his throat.
"See, he loves it." Willow smiled.
"It was just innocent fun at first, nothing too serious."
"Yeah, so weird to taste fruit with such thin blood." Lucci managed to speak as he swallowed. "So much sweetness and almost no bitterness."
"Yep, human food isn't filling, but it's delicious." The woman grinned. "And it also has a few tricks you can pull off." She took a bite, before munching the food around and her mouth, before spitting out something into the ground. "You spit the seeds into the ground, and they grow into new watermelons."
"Really?" Willow asked with sparkly eyes. "No magic needed!?"
"Nope. You can even pull off some trick shots if you do it right." She leaned up, spitting seeds into the air as they landed into a perfect circle. "Mama's still got it."
"Gross, but cool!" Amity shouted, taking a few bites out of her own slice, shifting the contents of her mouth. It was like seeing an adorable little cat eating its kibble. "Here…we…gooo!" Amity spat the seeds out and they all flew in the air in a straight line, landing on top of each other in a perfect little stack.
"It's like an adorable little tower." Willow watched with sparkly eyes. "My turn, my turn." She took a handful of watermelon into her mouth, shuffling the seeds around, and took a stand. She fired off into the ground, writing out LAW with a heart symbol. "Check that out!"
"Awwww, it's cute and perfect, just like out friendship." Lucci congratulated her. "I probably can't do anything that good."
"Come on Lucci, do it, do it, do it, do it for LAW." Amity chanted. "Don't quit before you get started.
"Yeah!" Willow added in. "We can do anything with some encouragement, just like you guys tell me!"
"Encouraging him was the biggest mistake of our lives."
"I thought the biggest mistake of our lives was us meeting each other in general."
"Come on, this backstory is so precious and adorable! Can't you leave the ribbing out for just five minutes?"
Lucci smiled brightly. "Alright then, I'll do it!" He chomped down on some watermelon, looking up, and spitting at the sky. "I'm gonna hit a cloud!" They watched … and watched … and saw the seeds fall down. "Aww …"
"They're too high up, it probably hit and we couldn't see it." Amity tried to console him.
"I've seen you split trees with less." Eda nodded. "Splitting a cloud shouldn't be that hard."
"Aw, but it would've been cooler to see it happen. I could be the cloudslayer!" Lucci cheered. "Riding the sky and pushing away evil cloud spirits."
"Wow, you really weren't an emo back then. You were all sunshine and rainbows. What happened to that kid?"
"He realized most friends were people who stabbed others in the back, which is why again, I have only one."
"Wait, you called him Emo?"
"It is pretty hilarious."
"Can we focus on the story!?"
"Meh, cloudslaying's overrated." Willow shrugged. "Imagine being able to take on the mightiest of monsters and viruses with brute force."
"Exactly Kiddo, plenty of opportunities in the future." Eda ruffled his head.
"So how long until they grow into big watermelons?" Amity asked.
"Human food takes a while, so probably won't see anything happen for a couple of months." The Owl Lady explained.
"That's lame." Lucci rolled his eyes. "What's the point of growing your own food if you can't have it right away?"
"Aww come on Lucci, nature's funny like that." Willow rubbed his back. "From the gentlest of flowers, to the mightiest of trees, it all grows at its own pace and …" She trailed off, watching as the spots where Lucci's seeds landed now had fully grown watermelons. "And you just broke that."
"Wait, what?" The Owl lady looked confused.
"Wow!" Lucci smiled. "My plant magic must be better than Willow's!" She sent a vine to smack his head. "Can't I dream just a little?"
"Aren't they shaped a little weird though? They're not round." Amity pointed out, getting closer. "They kind of look like Lucci, even have little black dots where the eyes should be." She poked it gently.
"Waaaawww." The plant responded.
"Wait a second, was that plant magic, or Lucci's healing spit?"
"Healing what now?"
"Not important."
"It is important if you plan on joining the healing track. Lucci, if we get A THIRD vegetable incident because of you, I reserve the right to gut your insides!"
"I did not cause-oh forget it, don't know why I bother defending myself."
"Ahhhh!" Amity shrieked back as its gushy red mouth opened. "It's alive!"
"It's alive!?" Willow shouted. Okay, she had to admit she wasn't that good.
"I made life …" Lucci smiled. "I have a child! Mama, you're like Grandma now!"
"It's way too early for either of those things, kiddo! Step back" The Owl lady walked ahead of them. "I'm going to squash this little sucker before it gets out of han-"
" WAWAWAWAWAWAAW! " It jumped from the ground and bit off the woman's hand, running away.
"Well that went poorly fast." She sighed. "At least I only have to hunt down one."
"WAwa!" "Awwa?" "Agaaa!" Over a dozen or of the creatures popped out of fround.
"Hey, bad babies! I'm you dad, behave yourselves!" Lucci tried to order.
"WAWHWHWWHWHWWHWWHWHWWHWWAAAA!" The little monsters screeched at the same time.
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Luz watched as the three of them shivered. "It took us … all month to put a stop to them." Lucci said with terror as they walked into the cave they tracked down.
"They developed their own religion, and declared themselves the superior species." Willow looked like she was a war veteran. "So much fruit juice … so many seeds lost…it was tragic."
"After that, we agreed on two things. One, Lucci would never, EVER work on plant Magic again." Amity held herself. "And two, out of every incident that we've ever been apart of, the Veggie incident would never be talked about again….until now ." She glared at Lucci.
"Do you want to play the blame game, or do you want all of Bonesborrow to not burn to the ground?" Her roommate rolled his eyes.
"We both know I'm an excellent multitasker." She argued.
"So does anyone know what we're doing?" Gus asked.
"They came here last time as a home base, maybe they came back?" Willow suggested. "Either way it's a start."
"One of the few advantages we have is that they mostly just blindly attack like wild animals." Amity explained. "The main trait they share with the real Lucci is that they're simple creatures and rather straightforward."
"I'd argue with you more if people weren't in danger." Lucci responded.
"Oh please, you only care about that because you heard that Boscha was in trouble." Willow snapped back.
"And I would come if Luz was in trouble too." He argued. "You wouldn't come if I was in danger and you know it."
Luz was gonna snap. "Can we all stop before we-"
"Graaa!" They were interrupted as they became surrounded, fruit soldiers such as apples and grapes screaming, holding out sharpened breadsticks. Hardened toast being worn as armor.
"Is that one wearing…food armor?" Gus asked.
"Yeah … that's new." Lucci muttered, starting to form his shield, only for a cupcake arrow to wiz by his head.
"Wah wah." A turnip soldier shook his head threateningly.
"Are they … threatening us as captives instead of blindly pressing the advantage?" Amity muttered, as the produce gestured for them to move.
"That's weird, these little guys loved fighting last time." Willow said out loud. "It's like they're actually thinking about how to fight smarter." She noted as they were moved to an opening in the cave.
There, Luz saw … well, something that would amaze and horrify her for all of eternity. Near the parts of the cave with bigger entrances, produce was baking war machines, such as bread tanks and tart bazookas. In other spots military tactics were being held, she could see patrol routes being taken from their vantage point. And in one bright spot she could see Witches being burnt over a fire as apples and broccoli danced around in change, drums being played and vegetables drinking ale.
"That's…..elaborate." Gus spoke up after a long period of silence. "It's like they're preparing for a war."
"I think they are." Lucci pointed to a nearby wall, where rather crude but detailed drawings of ten specific people, one who looked like they were wearing antlers, were made with x's all over them.. "Emperor Belos … they're planning war on the Boiling Isles itself."
"What the fuck?" Luz asked quietly as they were moved through the city.
"It makes no sense." Willow muttered.
"That they plan to take over the world?" Luz asked.
"No, that this level of strategic mastery came from one of Lucci's creations."
"I AM NOT STUPID!"
"So you admit they're your creations." Amity growled out.
"No, I'm just getting tired of everyone treating me like I'm dumber than a bag of rocks!"
"Well maybe if you stop shouting in an echoey cave we'd stop assuming!" Willow argued back.
"Guys, none of this is helping anybody!" Luz shouted out. "We've already caused enough noise, so let's just do something before-" arrows of knives and forks were shot above their heads as all plants were turned their way. "We are noticed even more." It sucked being the rational responsible one for once.
They were brought face to face with multiple produce sitting on thrones. "Thgggw."With a gesture, a man was brought forth.
"As a member of the Plant Coven, I um, am here to act as translator." He chuckled nervously as a bread spear was aimed at his throat. "They asked who sent you."
"No one." Lucci growled. "We're just here to get back a couple of associates and leave.
The pumpkin looking one waved their hand dismissively. "WAapp."
"All captured witches are to be slave labor, sacrified to the moon goddess, or used as study on how to kill quickly … they said." The translator nervously answered.
"Moon Goddess?" Luz asked. "What's that all about?"
"Aggbr." An apple called out.
"The one who brought life to our kind. A horned being born upon the blue moon, gazing upon the fauna with disdain and contempt, and giving the flora life beyond life, they said."
"Wait, but the plants coming to life, that can't..Lucci you.." Amity looked confused. "They didn't come from.."
"SGUGUG." A piece of celery garbled.
"Don't you dare insult us pitiful creatures, we come from the mother of the wilderness herself! The one at one with nature, for we are the children of the Grand Orchid!...They said." Wait..
The fruits and veggies all turned and bowed to a grand painting on the wall, depicting a slightly androgynous looking being with bark like skin, a being that Luz INSTANTLY recognized from the Moonlight Conjuring.
"Wait, isn't that..?" Gus was about to point it out, but Willow quickly slapped her hand over his mouth.
Amity gave a sigh of relief. "Thank titan. It was just some grassy druid. For a second I thought you caused a whole vegetable apocalypse Lucci. Sorry for doubting you."
"Yeah….." An awkward chuckle followed along . "…well it's an honest mistake anybody would've made. No need to dwell on it."
The girl raised an eyebrow. "Wouldn't you normally take the time to insult me?"
"Unlike you, I can focus on the mission." The boy instantly played cool. Of course the only time he wouldn't press the issue was when he wanted to hide something.
The plants began mumbling. "Now they're just deciding your fates …" The man translated. "So far the buff girl is the top candidate for slave labor."
"I am not going to become a slave to something I grow in my garden and eat for breakfast everyday!" Willow roared with rage. "If you wanna piece of me, you'll have to do it from my cold lifeless corpse!"
The turnip looked at her. "Jnnnb."
"Promoted to fertilizer it is, he said." The man translated before vines grew from the ground and began dragging the girl under.
"Hey, no turning her into mulch! If anyone's going to do it, it'll be me!" Lucci cried out as he did his best to cut through the vines with his razor disks, which kept regenerating and regenerating with every cut.
They needed a plan, a plan … wait, that was crazy enough to work … hopefully. "My council of produce!" Luz shouted, stopping the activity around them. "I would like to make a bargain!"
"BABA." "Jknknkn." "Hgggh." The living plants began mummering among themselves before nodding simultaneously.
"I'm gonna hope that means they're interested." She turned to the translator, who nodded. "Cool. Alright, in return for the freedom of my companions, I offer magic that non witches can use!" She demonstrated with a light Glyph. "See, pretty cool, right?"
"Brrrgh." "Whggggh." "Wdkdkd." The veggies looked like they were actually interested.
"Luz, don't make them more powerful!" Gus shouted.
"Allow me a breadstick weapon, and I may show you how to do so yourselves." Again, this would've been a really nice time to have her magic sword on hand.
The veggies looked at each other, and nodd. "Bgh." And a loaf was handed ot her.
"Alright." She began carving on the ground. "Now, you need to start with a circle. I'll make it big so everyone can see how." She went around the area, carving a circle so large that everyone was inside of it.
"A glyph that big …" Lucci muttered, eyes filled with understanding.
"Would be totally unstoppable." She finished, smirking at her little plan. "And for the final touch…boop." She stomped her foot on the ground, activating her ice Glyph. "Syranora suckers! Have an ice day!"
The glyph sent everyone flying, producing screaming as she and everyone else were launched out of the cave. "Alright for real, does anyone have a plan for the army?" Luz asked with some mild fear.
"I think we left Willow and Lucci behind!" Gus yelled as they were sent into the air.
"Wait what!?" Dang it, knew she should've gone for a giant flash bang.
"Hold on, this'll be rough!" Amity shouted as she produced abomination goo, forming a sort of giant pillow for all of them to land on as they hit the ground. "Everyone alright?"
"For the most part, my ribs just feel extra brittle at the moment." Luz managed to cough out. "We at least put a little distance between us and them at least."
"Waaahhh!" They turned to the drumming vegetables that paused, looking at them in silence, turning to glance at the guards that were drinking what looked like apple blood. The only upside to today so far was that Luz wasn't the cause of today's mess.
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Amity did her best to fight through produce after produce. "They just keep coming!" She shouted as she sent another fireball out. "How many minions did that crazy grass thing make!?"
"Who knows, but we're the only thing that can stop them!" Luz shouted as she launched some out with more of those ice pillars. "How did you deal with them last time?"
"Lots of surprise, trauma, and a combination effort of the two Clawthorne adults." And she would die in this army before she went to her former teacher for help. "Short kid, can you do anything other than illusions?!"
"I have a name you know!" The short one yelled as he just sort of ran around in a circle the entire time, only being able to throw the occasional rock or two, which only succeeded in making the freaks of nature even angrier. "But ah…no!" And that's why she didn't commit his name into memory.
"Ugh, I did not need this today!" She growled as she drowned a couple more into her abomination, where she commanded it to shrink inwardly and crush the veggies into paste. Everything in her life was suddenly just crashing and colliding into each other.
Lucci was coming to school, Luz was coming to school, Willow was still around, the Banshees had questions, Ed and Em still got on her nerves, parents were still a pain, and now vegetables were trying to kill her. It's like Amity's life decided to say 'screw you' all at once. An entire caldron of confusing, angry, happy, and regretful emotions that Amity would have rathered stayed buried.
"Well, I gotta say that at the very least I managed to get the three of you in the same spot for a long period of time without killing each other, so not everything was bad." Luz commented with that cheerful and peppy glass half full attitude that was so endear-annoying! She thought it was annoying and not at all charming.
"Is it really that important for you to mend something that probably shouldn't go together!?" Amity repressed certain feelings down and just focused on the irritation. Would she like to have actual friends again that weren't Boshca and her groupies? Most definitely, but the bridges were far too burned for her to fix them now.
"Of course it is! If you just stop being friends you'll regret it forever, especially when you look back on all the good times!"
"The good times? You mean the good times that involved running for our lives…" Riding on top of snorses.. "Screaming in terror as we fall from the sky…" Shouting for joy as they rode on top of griffins. "...Getting lost in the woods…" Exploring hidden caverns. "And just acting on whatever childish whim that came to our minds?" Stretching their imagination to the absolute limit. "Some good times." Good times that she'd treasure in secret forever.
"Why am I the only one that finds that kinda stuff fun!?" The human shouted as she hit another plant with ice.
"Because humans are genuinely more interesting than witches, at least in my humble opinion!" The illusion kid yelled as he was being chased up a tree. Well, he wasn't wrong.
Amity grimaced as another arrow went by her head. "This isn't getting us anywhere, we're gonna be overwhelmed soon." They needed a game changer, a way to turn the tide. Unfortunately, their best bets were left behind. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish Willow and Lucci were here."
Rumble rumble rumble rumble
The ground shook and roared, making everyone freeze as they all did their best to keep their balance. "Great, either they're bringing out their ultimate weapon or the gates of hell suddenly burst open." Either way, it looked like they weren't going to live past today. "I always knew LAW would kill me in the end." Amity just always thought it would be with all member presents, happily ignorant of the oncoming doom raining down on them.
"Hey, we're not dead as long as we keep breathing!" The human that somehow managed to overwhelm every thought she had on her mind chanted as a herd of squash began jumping on top of her. "AHHHH! I didn't mean for you to take that so literally!"
SHINK
Multiple vines pierced the squash, implanting them as the equivalent of blood and guts rained down onto the human. "… Hello trauma …." Yeah, the vegetable wars scarred the most innocent of souls.
"If it gets rid of these little jerks, then I more than welcome it!" The illusion kid shrieked as he was being pulled away by a gang of turnips.
SHING, SHING, SPLAT
The little vegetables were sliced up into perfectly cut pieces by a swift moving branch of a nearby tree, little cries of agony being echoed through the woods as they took their last breath.
"Attention, soldiers of flora!" A voice shouted."You have committed sins in the name of your goddess, and as retribution, your souls will now flood the streets! Accept, and you will find paradise in rebirth and renewal!"
"Waaagh!" "Waaagh!" "Wagggh!" Every piece of living produced raised their hands and instantly bowed, turning to a plant-looking being that looked like they were covered in bark, or rather, made of it, towering above them as they moved around on thick green vines with flowers blooming on them. Their navel in particular has a lot of color…a pink….gemstone…
"Hey!" Amity shouted, a swarm of bottled up emotion making their way out to the surface. "Where did you get that rock!? What did you do to Lucci and Willow!?"
SPLAT SHIING SQUASH BLAAP
The mostly androgenous looking bastard didn't even so much as give her a sideways glance as they mercilessly gutted their own soldiers bit by bit, juice flying all over the air as the seeds that could be found were crumbled into dust. It seemed to even smile in sick pleasure as the little freaks of nature just let themselves be completely eviscerated by this wannabe god.
She turned to Luz and and the illusion kid, who stood frozen in, frankly understandable, terror. "Never … ever … piss them off." Luz muttered.
"Yep …" The illusion kid agreed.
Amity couldn't take it anymore, and threw an abomination punch at the person that may have done something to … her old friends, only for a thick vine to block it. "Better watch yourself … Mittens ." They spoke, before moving through the trees, disappearing into the woods.
"How did they know…?" Amity shook her head off from the confusion. She had more important things to worry about. "Willow! Lucci! Where are you!?" She shouted as loudly as she could. "Lucci! Willow! Please, answer me!" Please…please be alright.
Thud
… Amity looked up on the boy that just fell on top of her. "… You know how to ruin a mood, don't you?" She asked with about half the heat she usually would have put into it.
"Hey, it could've been worse." He pointed to Willow as he got up, who was upside down, presummable landing like that, as she looked around in a daze.
"Willow!" Luz shouted, holding the girl's face. "How many fingers am I holding?"
"I don't know, ms scarecrow, do you even have fingers?" The glasses wearing girl responded.
"You would have shrugged it off." He survived worse when he was four. She stood up, dusting herself off. "Are they all gone?"
"From what we saw, yeah." Lucci answered simply. "After you guys got launched out of the area, that druid god thing the plants went all crazy for showed up and turned them all into soup. Tried following them to get them to help us, but they threw us in the air instead."
Amity was silent for a moment , trying to figure out how to word her suspicion. "Lucci … " She said quietly. "I saw a pink gemstone inside their stomach, just like yours." His eyes widened. "I think … I think that was your dad."
The boy looked at her funnily for a second, before laughing. "Heheh, my dad being some vengeful forest spirit. That's somehow both unbelievable and too believable at the same time." That was not the reaction she thought she would get.
The illusionist kid looked confused. "But wasn't Orchid-"
Willow raised her hand, causing a vine to grow from the earth and launch the little guy from the area. "...Ooops, thought I saw one left over."
Amity sighed. "We need to get you to a healer fast." She responded. "I don't trust Lucci in the slightest to not cause a third vegetable incident if his spit was responsible for the first."
"Can't get a break no matter what I do." Lucci groaned. "Let's just get out of here before anything else unwanted happens."
"Arf, arf, arf!"
"We didn't kill them all!" Lucci shouted, pulling out a razor disk as Amity traded another abomination fist, loaded with spikes.
"Hold it!" Luz got in front of them. "Just, wait a second, look!" She pointed to the source, which apeared to be a squash that moved around like a dog, with a muzzle and vine tail. "Awww, it's so precious."
"Arf!" It ran to the group.
"Luz, don't trust that thing." Amity growled. "It's just a fake out to let our guards down."
" Arf! " It ran right into Willow's arms, licking her face affectionately
"Aw, I think this one's actually friendly." Willow rubbed the little freak as it continued to lick her. "Aw, who's a good girl, who's my little freshly grown good girl?"
Lucci sighed. "Just because Luz can adopt a Crystal Devil, doesn't mean you can adopt any dangerous creature Willow."
Amity's brain paused. "SHE ADOPTED A CRYSTAL DEVIL!?" She shouted in horror.
"Yes, yes she did, and we all suffer for it everyday." Lucci groaned.
"It's not that bad. Just feed it a salty snack and scratch its mane, and the acid only goes to enemies." The human smiled.
"I have never felt so terrified …" Yet excited for some reason. Amity would look forward to seeing Luz in school….Lucci too, if only slightly less so.