Summary: Moonlight Conjurings are the perfect time to blow readers minds with too much information
Luz was sitting down with king and Lucci watching demon birds fly by as Eda came back. People watching in the demon realm was fascinating, even if the egg bus thing confused her to no end "Bad news kids, Morton's out of stock for the Elixir."
"I told you to go restock earlier, but you just had to feed your hexes holdem's addiction." King rolled his eyes.
"I don't have an addiction."
"You've been playing me the entire time mom." Lucci pointed out the cards he and Eda were holding the whole day.
"… Am I-"
"I just won half your sales. You're not winning:" Her buddy deadpanned.
"I'll get that back. I knew I should've never told you how to count cards." She muttered. "So now me and King are heading out to the Night Market."
"What's the Night Market?" Luz asked.
"It's basically the black market, but twice as friendly, and half as safe." Eda explained. "Which is why you're staying home, and Lucci is playing babysitter."
"Wait, why can't King do it?" The boy asked.
"She figured out how to bribe the little guy last week." It wasn't hard, just rub the little guy's belly and scratch behind the ears. "Plus I need tiny hands for pickpocketing, and your not at that size anymore kid."
"Vents are useless against the mighty King of demons!" King shouted.
"Maybe I can try shrinking instead of stretching." Lucci muttered, looking over his hands.
"I just need you to make sure Luz doesn't do anything stupid tonight. She has friends now, so I feel the house is in legitimate danger at all times."
"Hey, I'll have you know all my friends are perfect and adorable." Luz defended. "It's not they're going to bring your sister and the emperor's coven to our doorstep."
"For now." Lucci grumbled. Luz really needed to find out that cryptic backstory fast so Lucci could move on to a new character arc. "Besides, Aunt Lilly's just one of the main three threats we have to deal with." Lucci raised his hand. "With her Owl form, we have to deal with the demon hunters if Mom ever gets out of control again, and there's the Rainbow Devil."
New name and new intrigue. "Who's the Rainbow Devil?" She asked, everyone in the entire marketplace going stunned and quiet. "They sound pretty popular."
"I told you Gus, the key to finding them is to go where the most confusion is." A familiar voice came out, the three of them turning to see the faces of Willow and Gus approaching.
"Was it something I said?" Luz asked.
"Who's the … who's the …" Lucci looked stunned. "You haven't heard of the Rainbow Devil?"
"From the human realm, remember?" She pointed out. How did he forget this?
"Alright, alright, this needs to be remedied." The boy shook his head. "King, play some drums."
"Music time!" The little guy cheered, reaching into Eda's hair, pulling out a pair of bongos, hitting them as they sounded a lot deeper than they should have.
Lucci started tapping his foot with the beat, slowly strolling in a circle. "Is he …. Breaking into song?" Gus asked with wide eyes.
"He does that sometimes, let it roll." Willow rolled her eyes.
"Oh I'll do more than that!" The boy smiled. "Special effects, here I come!"
"Oooh, ohhh…" Lucci sang darkly.
"Oooh, ohhh…" Gus's multiple clones repeated.
"She's walkin …"
"She's walkin …"
"That Rainbow Devil …" Lucci raised his hands to the air, multiple bubbles floating up.
"That Rainbow Devil …" Gus raised his own hands, suits popping up on the backup dancers.
"A tale as old as the titans themselves, a story you'll find on all the shelves." Lucci explained. "She came around in the ancient Isles, back before there were any smiles!"Gus waved his arms as shadow art began to form, showing a bulky woman falling from the sky.
Multiple people of the town screamed as they ran from the mere image. "A demon from the stars, or so say, everytime she pops her head, there's always hell to pay!" The image showed the lands being covered in fire and brimstone with every step she took. "A covenless, fearless, dastardly soul, one encounter with her always takes its toll!"
"Wait, aren't you all for people not in Covens? And criminals?" Luz asked the sidelined Eda. "What makes her different?"
"It's not that sim-" Eda tried to answer, but illusions of chains and nets covered her before she could finish.
"For hundreds of years, she's roamed this land, fighting and hunting whatever she can!" The shadowy figure formed picks for hands and began slicing away gigantic beasts. " Demon! Witch! Animal and so! Nothing's out of the question when it comes to dough!" Piles of snails fell at the shadows feet
"Ah, now I get it." Willow nodded. "She just wants to cash in on your bounty."
"The rumors both don't do her justice and don't live up to what people say." Eda sighed. "She's not as bad as you think, but still a pain in the tuchus to deal with every now and again."
"They say this demon went against Belos, that big ol dope, and fought his Coven to a bloody pulp!" He showed a clash between the two that caused more of the crowd on the streets to run screaming. "Now she just walks through the woods lookin for some loot, banging away at metal like a crazy coot." What looked like construction work with the sound of hammers and sparks showed up in Gus's illusion.
"She did clash with them, but only got to the Coven Head at the time." Eda explained. "I can't tell if Lucci just loves being dramatic, got too swept up in the stories, or some combination of the both." Probably the second to last option, Lucci had a romanticized image of crime due to Eda.
"Some say resting, just building her power! Others say she's building a tower! A building, a castle, a monument that reaches the stars!" The shadowed figure was lifted up into the sky. "Perhaps to connect to where the devils are!" It showed an army of them ravaging the land.
"Oooh, spooky mystery." A lot better than cryptic backstory.
"Soooo!" Lucci was now up in Luz's face. "Your better watch you're head, or you'll end up dead! There's no way to get ahead, she'll find you in bed! That's enough said, don't even try to fill em up with lead! It'll end up with your blood spread, all over a slice of some bread!"
The boy jumped back, the Gus clones twirling around him. "So just beware, she might be there, it'll be unfair, you won't have a prayer … watch out for that Rainbow … Devil!!" The bubbles exploded into what sounded like fireworks.
The three boys took a bow once all the smoke and mist cleared. Small amounts of clapping could be heard from those passing by, snails being tossed in. "Sweet, I didn't even plan on making this a job, bonus." Lucci picked up the money being handed his way.
"And since I had the instruments, there's no fire this time." King clapped his widdle hands.
"Anyway, back to the main point. Luz." Eda turned back to her. "Lucci's watching the house tonight, so NO friends allowed while I'm gone, kapeesh?"
"Yes mam." Luz nodded.
"Good." The woman nodded. "Now If you excuse me, I just realized there are wallets to be pilfered and mama wants moola." Eda walked off to do her daily larceny.
"So that's my evening plans locked and loaded." Luz chuckled. "What about you guys?"
"Even less eventful and more disappointing." Willow sighed. "The moonlight conjuring is tonight, and Amity is making a big deal out of inviting everyone except me." Guess the mean girl attitude wasn't going to fade away anytime soon.
"It's this thing where we get together in a house for the night, talk about romance, eat snacks, play games." Gus explained.
"Like a sleepover!" Luz sparkled with excitement.
"And then we channel the moonlight to bring an object to life."
"Like a really weird sleepover!" That only made her enthusiasm increase tenfold. "Exactly how many people are needed?"
"Three at least." Lucci answered with a groan. "I almost did it once..". A glare at Willow was sent. "Then life did its thing and disappointed me at the worst possible time."
Looks like this was an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. "Hey, we're four people, so let's do it ourselves!"
"Yeah!" Gus cheered. "A human at a sleepover, so many possibilities! Human food, and human buckets all around!"
"One, human food is sweet but unfulfilling." Her buddy stated. "Two, I think you ignored the point where I'm playing babysitter and making sure you don't do anything stupid." Lucci responded.
"Aren't you the rule breaker who always saying he does what he wants?" Willow posted out what the boy has proudly proclaimed dozens of times.
"Not when you're going to be spending the night at my house." The Clawthorne groaned. "I am not going to let you anywhere near Hooty, Park." Ouch, last name. This rabbit hole of backstory went deep.
"Come on, can't you put aside the brooding backstory for one day?"
"I'd be perfectly happy to do it at Gus's house if we didn't take Willow." The boy shrugged. "But at our house with Willow, no dice." Come on, there had to be something.
"Well well, if it isn't half a witch Willow." She turned as the three eyed girl from school came in, with Skara, Amity, and two other girls she hasn't met before. "I take it you're still trying to make yourself feel better by hanging around trash?"
Turning to Lucci, she saw him blush, so chances were he was just going to take it. Willow looked too shy to respond. Gus…well he looked to innocent to get involved with this bloodbath, so looks like it was up to Luz to raise the morale once again.
"Leave them alone, Boscha." Surprisingly, Amity said something before anyone else did. "It's not their fault they were born without talent or worth."
That seemed to get Lucci out of his funk. "Oh, so the Blight doesn't think we have talent, does she?" He growled. "We can do anything you can do better, you backstabbing … backstabber."
"You can't taunt that well." Boscha snorted. "And you all definitely won't do a moonlight conjuring better than us."
"Oh yes we will!" Luz shouted before Lucci could lose himself to blushing. "We're going to have our own moonlight conjuring, and I guarantee it's going to be a million times better than yours, triangle eyes!"
"Oh sure it will, Human ." The triclops said sarcastically as she walked away with the rest of her posse.
"So sorry about that I really think your all amazing and cool and I want us all to be friends okay gotta go byeeeeeee!" Skara lingered the longest and waved.
"So …" Gus turned to Lucci with a wide smile. "Moonlight Conjuring?"
"Amity's always the bigger pain, so yes." Her buddy nodded. "And maybe it'llimpressBoschaalittleifitsgood."
"I heard that, but you're right about the Amity thing." Willow agreed. "We're going to stick it on that rich witches face and show her what for once and for all!"
"Ah, petty revenge. Something everyone can get behind." Luz smiled. "Alright, lets pack up for-"
"For that?" Eda asked as she made her way over.
"Pack up to send these nuisances away." Lucci picked up where she left off and used his shield to push their friends away. "Shoo, shoo, you know I can't stand being around school nerds for too long, the brainwashing might rub off more on Luz."
"Yeah, of course." Willow rolled her eyes sarcastically. "Thanks for reminding me of my ignorance." She really needed to get to the bottom of this.
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Hooty smiled as Eda packed up. "Shoot, feathers already … come on King, grab your soldier and get moving!" Too bad the curse turned Eda into a mindly slobbering monster, feather's were a great look on her.
"Francois is giving his companions the farewell of a soldier!"
She sighed. "Lucci, you have the list right?"
"Almost got it memorized. I keep forgetting the proper response to telemarketers."
"Oh, that's easy." Hoot answered. "The proper response is BUZZ OFF as you hit a frying pan over their face." The house demon chipperly laughed. "If they still knock, that's when we have permission to bring out the knives and make it a stab party!"
"Right, thank you Hooty." The boy nodded. He was so glad to have a buddy like him. He was the only one who thanked him for existing.
"First time I've agreed with your violence, and it's from the same type of evil you can find on earth. Who knew?" Luz shrugged. "When can we expect you back Eda?"
"Late, like very late. I have to get my elixir from someone named Grimhammer, and he's known to be a scammer even above my level. I take that as a personal challenge, so I might be gone until morning." Hooty's first roommate opened the door. "Now don't raid the freezer for Ice-Scream, and remember what I always say about staying up too late."
"Arm yourself with a sword so it scares away the bed bugs."
"That's my boy." She kissed the boy's head. "See ya in the morning Kiddo. And remember if you bring anyone over to the house I'll never trust you again. Okay, Byeeeeeeee!" Eda smiled as she closed the door.
Luz stood by the window, watching the woman fly off. "And … she's gone."
"I just realized this is the third time I've ever gone behind my mom's back since meeting you." Lucci muttered. "You're a bad influence, Luz."
"That's how Best Buddies roll, roomie." The little girl opened the door again and looked at the nearby bushes. "The bird's flew the coop, you can come out now."
Hooty watched as Willow and Gus came out. "Ooooh, someone's being sneaky." He grinned.
"When you hang around two criminals for a decent amount of time, you learn how to be a sneaky sneakster." Willow waved off.
"I have leaves in my pants, and I like it!" The illusion boy cheered as he should.
"Leave's are nature's little blankets of green joy!" Hooty chanted as they were let inside. "Now I have more people to listen to all my stories!" The great fairy massacre of this afternoon needed to be told for all to hear.
"Yeah, I'd rather not do this longer than I should, so let's get the conjuring part over with." Lucci stated with some sweat. "How do we do it?"
"Put the object you want to possess in the center of a circle, and chant." Willow responded. "And I was thinking we …"
"Do danger man!" Gus held up an action figure.
"Oh…I was thinking of something more beautiful and eloquent…" The plant girl was gesturing to a nearby flower.
"I think the Buff doll might be safer, that flower spits poisonous pollen every hour." Lucci pointed out. "Also, we don't need a repeat of the incident."
"You do make a fair point." Willow nodded.
"Why is it you two only get along when you speak cryptically!? WHAT IS THE INCIDENT!?" Luz shouted
"Oh, It's when Lucci bit into some-" Hooty was more than happy to answer.
"Hey, is that a bug on the wall?" Lucci pointed to the corner of the ceiling.
"Oh, bug!" Hoot jumped at the speck of dust that was probably a bug hiding, the sneaky bastards.
"One day I'm gonna ask him, and you're not gonna be there to stop me." Luz grumbled darkly.
"Challenge accepted, Luz Noceda." Lucci smirked before sitting. "Okay, let's bring the doll to life."
"Action figure." Gus corrected, sitting down himself. "Tonight, he shall be risen and show his beefy bod to the world!"
"I dunno, Willow looks like she's pretty strong herself." Luz responded, poking the girl's arm. "I mean, so much muscle."
"Yeah yeah, she works out." Lucci rolled his eyes.
"Well excuse me, not all of us can be born with broken abilities." The girl responded darkly.
"Don't make it sound like it's easy, I'm still trying to break my stretching limit." He grumbled. "And at least I didn't waste ten years working on something I know I'm not good at."
"At least I've done more than running away from Coven Guards." Willow muttered back.
"Guys, guys, I think we're forgetting the bigger picture here: Upstaging Amity, remember?" Luz bought up. "So lets try and do the spell, and upstage everyone."
"Okay, just hold hands, and repeat after me." Willow held out her hands, taken by Gus and Luz, as Lucci went across, holding Gus and Luz's other hands. "Now … repeat after me. Moonlight we call, we Sing. Moonlight take this chance. Moonlight come tie the string. Moonlight start the dance!"
"Sing, moonlight, I don't know these words." Luz said in between the chants, a light blue glow emanating from the group as they did, filling the house with energy.
Hooty felt something, filling his soul, an energy shoving down free will as he stopping being Hooty. He was now a puppet. A toy to the whims of his tiny feeble masters. Hoot Hoot. "... Did it work?" The gem master questioned.
"Nah, he's still just buff but plastic." The Illusion Master sighed. "Maybe we didn't time it right."
"How short was the window? I thought it was alright as long as the moon was blue." The Plant Master asked.
"Yeah, it's weird. Mom said this was basically magic for babies, so it shouldn't be that hard to use." The Gem Master spoke with confusion.
"Well … baby magic is still magic." The Human Master chuckled weakly. "I guess I was just holding us back."
"Don't be like that Luz, this is the first time any of us have ever done a Moonlight Conquering. Maybe we just had it wrong from the start." The Plant master sighed sadly. "What was I expecting to do? Show up to Amity's house and brag while the abominations kick us off their property?"
The Plant Master had a goal. She had a destination in mind. Plant Master wished to move. The Puppet would obey Plant Master. The Puppet Began to stand.
"Hey, what's going on with the house?" The Illusion Master asked, the interior of the room shaking.
"I dunno. Hooty, what's wrong?" The Gem Master questioned. "... Hooty?" They questioned again. "Hooty snap out of it!" They shouted, slapping the face of the puppet.
"By the power of the moon I have risen. Hoot Hoot." The puppet answered, continuing to follow the first command, the rest of his tiny master's going outside.
"Guys, I think we spread the spell through the house instead of the doll!" The Plant master pointed out as the puppet began walking with it's newly sprouted legs.
"That's awesome!" The Human Master shouted, throwing their hands in the air.
"No, that's terrible, and doesn't make sense!" The gem master pointed out. "Since when does Hooty have legs!? And Hooty is the house! Does the spell not think he's alive or something?!"
"Hey question." The Illusion Master asked. "Where is Hooty going?"
"By the trajectory we're heading…off a cliff!" The Human Master shouted in the direction the puppet was instructed to go. "Hooty, you have to sto-ahhh!" The human master slipped on one of the weaker parts of the ground and began to fall.
"Luz!" The Gem Master and Plant Master shouted at the same time, reaching down to grab the human master before they fell to their demise.
"I've got you two!" The Illusion master held onto the Gem Master and Plant Master, struggling to get a grip. "Stop moving!" The Puppet would obey. The Puppet stopped.
"Hoot Hoot." The Puppet responded, standing still until the next order was commanded.
"Hey, we're glowing again." Gem Master noticed, looking around.
"Only when we're holding hands …" The Human Master muttered as they were pulled up, a curious look. "Hooty, tell a joke."
"Where does a demon go to fix a broken arm? A witchdoctor. Hoot." The puppet responded, searching the mind of the previous host for the most relevant information on the subject of jokes.
"Well the magic didn't improve his sense of humor, but we did it! We're doing it, we're moving the house!" The Illusion Master shouted. "But how?!"
"By the magic of the moon." The Gem Master stated. Duh.
"I'd like to believe it's the magic of friendship." The Human Master tried to interject.
"No, it's definitely the moon and just the moon." The Plant Master stated bluntly.
"Okay, we went overboard trying to one up them, and now we have Hooty under mind control." The Gem Master noted. "On the one hand, we should get this back home before my mom notices and rips my soul out with her bare hands."
"On the other hand, it's very obvious we already did this, and we might as well take advantage of this before the inevitable punishment." The Human Master pointed out.
"HOUSE JOYRIDE!" The Illusion Master shouted out joyfully.
"We're gonna show up Amity so hard with this!" The Plant Master cackled.
"Vengeance, or wrath, vengeance, or wrath, man this is tough to choose." Gem Master looked thoughtful.
"Come on, Lucci, you once said before you wanted to be super strong and be infamous all over the Boiling Isles. Well this is that chance to do so while rubbing it in that jerk's face." The Plant Master looked to the Gem Master. "Come one, this is your chance… our chance to finally show Blight who the real half a witch is."
"She's surprisingly vindictive." The Human Master mutered.
"It's the magic adrenaline pumping, best to let it ride while it's still high." The Illusion Master whispered.
The Gem Master looked contemplative, having a face mixed with confusion and a hint of sadness before shifting it into fierce determination and grit. "Sorry Hooty, we really need this."
"I obey the whims of my Masters, hoot hoot." The pupper responded.
"Eh, he'll probably be alright after this." The Human Master shrugged off. "Now lets joyride like no tomorrow!" The Puppet would joyride it seemed.
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"Yes Mom, I'm going to the Moonlight Conjuring. No mom, you can't come." It was difficult being so popular and successful. One of the many prices Boscha had to pay for such success was parents that constantly felt the need to push their overbearing noses into her business all the time. "And Yes Mom, it is sad that you're asking."
"Aww, but it's our baby's first Moonlight." Mama spoke weakly on the phone.
"Just let her do her thing. We can just ask for information from Odalia." Mom's voice spoke up.
"What was that?" She glared into the crow.
"Nothing sweetums." Typical Mom, always assuming she was dumber than her just because Boscha liked Grudgby more than making potions. "Just have a fun time at the Conjuring, and make sure to be better than everyone else."
"I always am." Boscha rolled her eyes as she hung up her scroll, turning it to text form. "Got held up by my parents, be there soon." She typed in the group chat.
Best Bard Bestie: Don't worry, on my way too. Parent's being weird again, think they might be doing something illegal. Skara, the closest friend she had by all accounts. Everyone else was on and off, but they stuck around even when it was annoying otherwise. She was decent moral support and could kill it on the grudgby field when she needed to, so Boscha could tolerate it, even if she had a habit of being nice to those of lower social status.
Healing Kitten: It took a while on my end, but I got the perfect doll for conjuring. I hear it's cursed, meaning extra movement from the result. Cat, the second most decent friend she had. She really couldn't do anything magic wise, but the Grudgby team needed someone to heal the quickly on a regular basis. Boscha couldn't risk twisting an ankle or pulling a muscle out on the field.
Seedagin: Oh, I once read this book where the doll makes out with- Boscha ignored the rest of Amilia's rant, was always a bookworm. Who read anymore when everyone knew Pintigram was all anyone looked at? Sure, she read everyone now and again, but only when she was bored out of her mind.
Abomination: Still just waiting at the house. And the Blight chick, the only girl Boscha could confidently say was an equal in skill. Sure, they were freaky as a kid, but they've grown up into a genuinely decent woman so far. Boscha patted herself on the back for being a good influence. Way better than the two losers she used to hang around.
Smirking in satisfaction, she placed her scroll down. The group was mostly made from convenience out of some deal with all their parents, but Boscha liked to think they were all united by the common need to dominate every situation because they were all just that talented (Well, maybe not Amilia, but a substitute was better than nothing).
Even if they were hated, they were respected. If they weren't liked, then they were feared. That's what it means to be a winner. That's why she could go throughout her day without caring about who she stomped on, and why the teachers practically let her get away with murder.
That's why she got praise from her parents whenever she did good and got ignored when she did bad. The Banshees were tough, they were fearless, and nothing, would ever, stand in their way.
"Hoot, traveler." She turned to a house by the hillside. "I am the wise house, here to bring knowledge upon young minds."
"Ew, talking house." Probably filled with vampires or something like that. Or worse … hippies. Unless it was a for sure haunted house filled with ghost cuties, she wouldn't touch. "Whatever, get your dumb lecture out of the way so I can teepee you later like every other house."
"Boscha…you're a really huge jerk that no one likes." The voice echoed.
She paused, glaring at the place. "Oh, Oracle house, how spooky." She waved her hands around. "You feel smug talking cause you can't run?"
"I can kick you but just fine, try me, I dare you." Another voice called out from within the house.
"Oh really? Then you won't mind if I start a little bonfire!" She shouted as she created a fireball and chucked it at the house. She wasn't one for arson all the time, but it was fun whenever it was to something that deserved it.
"Oh no you don't!" The house shouted as it stood up and kicked the ball. "Behold, my creepy owl legs! Fear how long they are!"
Boscha screamed, beginning to run away. Haunted houses were one thing. Hippie houses were another, but she absolutely drew the line at monster houses.
"And you should totally talk to that Lucci Clawthorne kid, I hear he's a cool guy." A stupid orcle monster house that gave horrible advice. It was like her worst nightmare came to life.
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King checked out the familiar setting of the night market, the subtle nature of it's devious and twisted nature in more open light.
"Poison! Get your poison while it's super toxic!"
"Buy one knife, get your second free!"
"Who wants to buy a couple slaves!?"
"Nope." Eda chucked a fireball at that stand, freeing the cage that held all the people trapped inside. "Damn it, do something good and the curse pops back up." She winced as more feathers grew on her arm.
"I don't think the Night Market is the best place to do good." King deadpanned. "You'd just be a jerk to everyone around here."
"Blame Luz, her goodie-goodie nature's rubbing off on me a little." The Owl lady snickered. "You don't think I'm getting too soft right, right?"
"Girl, you're harder than that rock in Lucci's stomach. You couldn't go soft if you tried." Even after raising a child for fourteen years didn't deter it all that much.
"The hardest woman on the planet." She cackled as they approached the stand in question. "Remember, let's hold our cards close."
"Stop gambling our lives with Hexes Holdem!" King shouted. "You've been obsessed with that game this whole week. You burned down the kitchen just because you were too busy playing with Owlbert!"
"It's not that bad." The woman rolled her eyes.
"You bet the fire extinguisher against him and lost!!"
"Who needs it when I have ice spells?"
"That you didn't use because you moved on to Hooty to play with…freaking HOOTY of all demons Eda!"
She paused for a moment. "... Fine fine … I'll try to not play against him." Was there some type of ball of sanity that got passed around like a hot potato? They got in closer, looking into the dark booth. "So, you're Grimhammer?" She asked the shadowy giant.
"Yes …" They moved their arm, turning on a light and showing off a small pig man on a pile of stuff. "Tibblet-Tibblie Grim Hammer the Third … or Tibbles for short."
"Hah, he wants to be called that." King laughed. It was rare for him to ever mock another tiny guy. The curse of tiny legs was a pain he knew all too well
"What can I do for you, mysterious cloaked wayward traver?" The little pig demon was beginning to show off in an almost sickening gleeful tone. "I got knives from the hinterland, curses from the winterlands, and jelly beans!" He threw out the little nuggets of rainbow gold. "They're lethally delicious!"
"Oooh! Jelly beans!" He moved to eat on, but Eda slapped it out of his hands. "Aww, no fair, Lucci eat's poison all the time."
"And he's immune to it." The Owl Lady rolled her eyes. "I heard you had an elixir of some sort from a day market person?" Eda spoke casually. "I got interested in the taste."
"Ah yes, the ability to buy out all the morning market products so you can inflate them at the night market for unreasonable prices." The little guy smiled. "… Ten thousand snails."
Their eyes widened. "Look, i'm not buying the whole set-"
"Per bottle."
"What!?" Eda shouted, a little more feathers popping out that she quickly had to ruffle down. King did not need a repeat of the night in question … she looked so hungry when he had that pen in hand. "What kind of game are you playing!?"
"Capitalism! Where everyone wins, except you." The little pale runt smirked without shame.
"Screw your capitalism!" King flipped over a bottle. "Anarchy for life!"
"Well you could always just leave, wait a few weeks until I buy up the stock again." The man chuckled. "Or you could pay … or you could play a game with me." He held up a deck that's cursed King for the last week. "I have been a bit lonely."
"You got a de-" Oh for the love of Titan!
"NO!" King grabbed the deck, ripping apart the cards. "No more Hexes Holdem! We're going to rob you blind, and you can't do anything to stop us, little man!" He shook the little guy with rage.
"Well…So much for that plan." Tibbles sighed. "Guess I have to go with plan b, isn't that right, Rainbow Devil?" Wait wha-
CLANG
They were both hit with metal bands. "I bet you're really glad you called me in for this little scheme of yours, ain't ya tibbles?" A deep but feminine voice came in as a looming buff shadow came into full view, black star tattoos scattered over a metallic gray body, with long dreadlocks of rainbow hair, and some weird looking colorful hole in the middle of her chest. This…This was the Rainbow Devil!? "Been quite a while, hasn't it, Eda?"
"My oh my." Eda, despite the horrid situation, had a smile on her face. "If it isn't Bizy. You know, my son was drumming up your legends with a whole dance routine this morning. And here I thought 'Speak of the Devil' was just a human phrase." The woman laughed.
"What's the point of being a legend if people don't sing about it?" The towering gray skinned woman shrugged with a smile.
"WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE YOU'RE FRIENDS!?" King shouted. "It's the freakin Rainbow Devil!"
"I mean, we kinda are." Eda calmed down. "She tries to catch me, I escape, it's a cat and mouse routine that's been going on for a while."
"And after talking all the time, we realized if it wasn't for us being a hunter and a hunte, we'd probably be drinking while setting the Conformatrium on fire." The Rainbow Devil cackled. "Man, when was it last time? That mess at the Illusion Coven?"
"I came to make fun of a play, and suddenly we got dragged onto stage in a role reversal." Eda laughed. "Felt good, really set the mood, If you ever want to get Bizyagain." Eda said flirtatiously.
"Please don't tell me this is an Ex Girlfriend situation." King groaned.
"Nah, did it once, maybe do it again depending on how tonight goes." The FREAKING RAINBOW DEVIL shrugged like it was no big deal.
"Ehem." The little bastard coughed. "I believe we're in the middle of something?"
"So, what's the deal with little Tibbles over here?" The Owl Lady gestured to the small guy.
"He had this whole plan but was worried you'd just set him on fire. So I got hired as muscle." The Rainbow Devil explained.
"I wanted to con you out of a couple of things, but seeing as that didn't work, now we'll split the bounty of the mighty Owl Lady!" The little man cackled.
"Yeah yeah." The giant woman chuckled as she moved over to the man. "A bounty is a funny thing … they can appear for all sorts of reasons."
Tibbles calmed down a bit. "Ah, yeah, of course they can."
"And I remember seeing a pretty hefty one for a con artist that has a habit of killing off his customers." The woman turned to the little bastard and grabbed him by the throat.
"I-gack-would like to point out the-gack-bigger bounty." The little guy tried to weasel it out.
"Oh come on Tibbles, I've got a hole in me, but I'm not heartless." They shrugged. "Just, pay me double your bounty and I'll look the other way." The Rainbow Devil grinned. "Unless you're feeling lucky, Punk?" And shifted her other arm into a spear.
"Okay, so on a scale of one to ten, how completely screwed are we here?" King asked Eda.
"She's practically a master at Construction Magic, no competition, Mason barely holds a candle to her." Eda nodded. "She enchants and molds her own magic metal for traps, And with my curse acting up, there's little to nothing I can do like this."
"So solid nine?" That meant they'd only get saved by a freak miracle from out of nowhere.
"Yep."
"Alright, good news. This little bastard is getting locked away with the rest of you, so free torture buddy." The Rainbow Devil smirked. "You three get comfortable while I raid the rest of his stuff."
King glared at the little guy. "So … you bought all the elixir, made us walk all the way out here past my bedtime, nearly fed my mother figure's gambling addiction, and got us trapped by one of the most dangerous people in the boiling isles for half a bounty … and you couldn't even do that right?"
"To be fair, I'm more of a solo act when it comes to scams. I had this whole plan to backstab her, but thought against it because I didn't want my head chopped off."
"Well lucky you, you'll get a cushy cell for the next ten to eternity years while I get petrified." Eda was able to move her legs and kicked the pig demon in the face. "And I'm going to make sure the next thirty minutes are the most painful moments of your life before then!"
"AND I AM HELPING!" King needed a vent.
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Lucci laughed. "Alright, I admit, this is fun." He accepted the whole need to show up Amity, but running around with a house at your beck and call was awesome. "Even getting Boscha to run away like that…It was a little enjoyable." He'll let them assume he meant it in a cruel way.
"It's always enjoyable taking bullies down a peg." Willow was still as vindictive now as she was back then. "So what should we do next? Run around town and see how fast we can go?" That actually sounded like a blast. It felt just like back then, with Him and Wilow….damn it…it just wasn't LAW without the A.
"Actually, I don't mean to be a Lucci-"
"Why am I an adjective?" He was a fun guy. Committing crimes against the Emperor was the pinnacle of fun.
"But the moon's close to setting." Luz pointed at the sky. "What happens when it disappears and Hooty is away from the spot?"
"Well …" Gus muttered. "I guess he'll just wake up standing, right here."
"If those legs aren't just a side effect of the magic. Like I said, I've never seen Hooty with legs before, and just me, you don't want to see him when he gets out of the house." Lucci almost threw up. "So much blood and internal organs splattered over the living room.
"Okay, okay." Willow relented. "Lets hold hands and-" The house shook. "What's going on?"
They all looked up at the roof where the shaking was, finding ropes and spears being tossed over it. "No, no, no! Not now!" Lucci freaked out. "This is bad, this is really, really bad!"
"Lucci, what's happening, who's attacking us!?" Luz shouted as they all turned to the firing of a giant crossbow."
"Demon Hunters." Lucci growled.
"We're being hunted by assassins!?" She shouted in horror.
"Right, I didn't explain this as thoroughly as the Rainbow Devil." He could've had two musical numbers today, what a missed opportunity.
"Demon is a term that's become just as vague as the term witch, even when they're sometimes synonymous." Gus explained. "The definition these guys go for are any creature that's more beast-like or not considered civilians."
"So anything from a guy with horns to rampaging animal is considered a demon." She muttered. "Why do we generalize things again?"
"Because the list is so long and confusing you'd need a dictionary to figure out every specific wording." Lucci muttered. "Luz, stay in the house. Gus, make copies of everyone and keep them distracted. Willow, tie them up. I'll go and hit them with my shield."
"Wait, what? I can't do that! They're too strong!"
"Are you ser-Willow, now's not the time for the sad weak girl complex!" He yelled. "You're more than strong enough to take on these morons if you just use your head a little!"
"What do you know about using your head!? You just bash people over the head with frisbees all the time, that hardly takes brainpower!"
"Of all the-are you really choosing now to insult me when we're all in danger!?"
"Guys, is this really not the time." Luz jumped in.
"Fine, if you wanna do something else, do it on your own!" He shouted. "I'm gonna go and actually defend Hooty from these guys!" Lucci walked out of the house. "Hey jerks, this is my house!" He shouted, forming multiple bubbles and chucking them with enough power to leave holes in the ground.
"Yeah, and this is my catch." A hunter with a skully looking face and a eyepatch brought out a weird looking cannon and shot some weird looking braces that clamped his hands together. "Here's a little gift we got from the Rainbow Devil."
"What-?!" He shouted as his hands were forced into the ground, unable to move. "I can't …" He groaned in effort as he tried to break free.
"Lucci!" Luz tried to pry them off of him, only for the entire group to be tied up in rope covered in green magic, binding all four of them together.
"Bound in something I can't break while Hooty is getting killed, while disobeying my mother. Could this get any worse?" He turned to see Willow was tied into him. "... Nevermind, that got answered real fast."
"Come on, just let us go!" Luz kept her attention on the hunters. "What do you even want with Hooty anyway?"
"We got reports from a teenage girl that a monster house is harassing people in the woods." One guy answered.
"..... 'Prank Boscha' you say. 'Nevermind your crush on her' you say, 'it'll be fun either way' you say." Lucci kept his head down.
"Oh how was I supposed to know she was going to call legitimate Demon Hunters!?"
"Guys, seriously, you're both being annoying and stupid right now, and it's getting old real fast!" Gus shouted. "Let's focus on actual important things and get free!"
"So are we actually gonna kill some kids?" A guy asked the eyepatch hunter.
"They're too annoying, push them into the boiling seas." The guy responded
"Wait!" Luz shouted to the guy grabbing them. "I know you have a heart down there, you never wanted to push kids off a cliff, have you?"
"Actually I do. It's been a dream of mine since I was a little boy. "....That was messed up. And they said Hooty wasn't all there.
"Oh, so happy to complete a dream." Lucci rolled his eyes.
"Thank you, I know I'm messed up, but it's nice to be appreciated like everyone else … alright bye."
"We're gonna dieeeee!!" Luz shouted as they screamed.
"Not on my watch!" He concentrated really hard. "Please work, please work, please work this time!" Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. Kittens, successful robberies, hugs with Mom. Eating cupcakes with King! A friendship that won't stab him right in the back!
The wind slowly died down, until they finally felt like hovering. "You can float?" Luz asked quietly so the hunters wouldn't hear them.
"Not all the time, I have to be happy to do it…and right now is not the best time for it. So make sure Willow says nothing." He pleaded.
"You just had to…oh forget it, this is all my fault." Willow groaned.
"Stop talking down to yourseeeeee-" They began to descend faster. "Happy thoughts, happy thoughts."
"Wait…Willow putting herself down makes you sad?" Gus asked, confused. "I thought it'd be the one thing keeping us up, you know, seeing how you two talk to each other."
"I'm a criminal, not a psychopath. It never feels nice watching others cry …" Well, except maybe Belos, that could be fun.
"Okay, we probably don't have a lot of time with us above boiling water, Hooty about to be chopped up, and Eda for sure going to kill us after this is all over…but can someone FINALLY explain what the deal is with you two?" Luz demanded. "Seeing as how it's what got us in this mess to begin with."
"... You wanna know what happened?" Lucci asked as they began to fall faster. "Willow was the one to teach me friends do nothing but stab you in the back … they abandon you when they need you, and they don't care about you in the end!" The wind once more began to pick up. Maybe it was better if Lucci was boiled alive, no one here wanted him around anyways…
"Lucccciii! I'm sorry!" Willow shouted…she actually apologized….after ten years…she actually said those damn words.
"Happy thoughts, happy thoughts." He tried to mutter again, trying to hide how emotional that made him on the inside. They were still falling. "It's not working!"
"Lucci, I get how you feel! When Amity stopped being our friend, I was hurt! I wanted to forget everything about Amity, and doing so meant I forgot about you!" Willow called out. "I'm sorry our last day together is both of us fighting and getting thrown off a cliff!"
He looked into her eyes, trying everything he could so see any sign of her lying. Lucci's seen enough cons to know some would lie until their very last breath. Her face…it was so sincere and genuine..Could he trust that she was telling the truth? Could he trust her again?"
"Lucccccciiiiii!" Luz shouted, bringing him back to the reality they were in. They were going to land face first into the water…Luz…his buddy, practically his family by this point…and Gus..a pretty okay guy who knew how to be theatrical…he didn't want this to end…even if he couldn't fully trust it…he wanted to be with this group…alive….with ALL of them.
"Willow…." He looked at her face again… "You have to make a vine, catch us."
"I..I don't.."
"You can…I believe you can…" He scooted as closely as he could to her to give what could count as a hug at the moment. "You were always the strongest ." A bright light of pink flashed in between them.
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They groaned as they opened their eyes, sitting up. "Is everyone okay? I'm alright. I'm fine. "
"I'm cool …" Luz's voice trailed off.
"Who the ..where's Willow…Where's Lucci?"
"What do you mean? We're here." They asked. "Is there something on my face?" Could have sworn I cleaned it. Maybe it's the leaves. … Why were there voices in their head?
"Um …" Luz trailed off, looking at them for some reason. "... Who are you?"
"Guys, stop kidding around. We have to stop the Demon Hunters." They looked around, they were back on solid ground, away from the water. "Good job Willow. Oh it wasn't that much …" They stopped. "Why did I answer my own response?" Why did this voice feel so familiar and unfamiliar at the same time?
"Gus?" Luz asked. "Could you … illusion up a mirror of some kind?" She asked hesitantly.
"Uh…sure…." Gus weirdly answered and did his magic circle.
"A weird time for a fashion check, don't you think?" I'd say I look good all the time, there's no need. Of course not. You're the only boy I know not ashamed to put on a skirt. I'd think you'd pull off a bow tie and a tux. Everything felt weirdly at peace between them…it was a nice feeling to exist in. How were they talking without a mouth?
Gus made an illusion of a tall stranger, covered in grassy and wooden skin, with antler-like growths on their head. Glasses were shaped to look more pointed instead of round, and a strange skirt design. "Who's the new pal?" … The reflection asked.
It took a few seconds to process what was happening, looking down at the small pink stone inside of the stomach of the copy. "... Lucci? Willow? …" They fully processed the figure … before screaming in horror. "AAAGGGGGGHHHH!!!"
"Guy's, guys, this isn't as bad as you think!" Luz shouted.
"Bad as we think, we somehow fused!?" They shouted.
"This is a typical anime and manga trope, two forces combining their forces to create something new!" Luz said with sparkly eyes.
"Typical what!?" They shouted. "Wait, oh titan. Is this SEX!? Noooo! I'm too young! My folks are going to kill me!"
"Guys, I'm pretty sure this is not … hopefully sure it's not the witch version of that." Luz shook her head. "Point is that you're both people and one person! Your Lucci and Willow…your Lullow!"
"Heck no! If we're stuck like this, we need a better name than that! Combining our names is just a little lazy."
"Yeah, there has to be something more creative than that." Gus agreed.
"... Well feel free to name it what you want then." Luz suckled.
"Alright, alright, focus. I'm a pink rock boy with multiple super powers, who lives for conning and chaos, and values family above all else. I'm a girl with lots of plant powers, who just wants friends to be happy, and enemies to die painfully." They paused. "I think our thoughts are mixing up. Do I have memories?" STAY OUT OF MY HEAD! "Geesh, sourpuss." They thought about it. Heh, tree arms. We're like a giant sprout. Like a bud ready to bloom into a wonderful orchid …wait a minute. "Orchid…I'm Orchid."
"You sure Lullow isn't popping-"
"I'm still not fully sure how I function, but I know both sides of me will toss you in the ocean if you suggest that again." This is the longest time we've been in agreement . Yeah..I forgot how nice that felt.
"Hoot. Hoot. Hoot." The voice of Hooty, still in a trance, was heard as the house was being rolled out of the way.
"So how about you split up, then we try and outnumber them?" Gus asked.
"Hmm …" Would numbers really help us right now? They have equipment from the Rainbow Devil. Wait, are the cuffs still on? Just the right hand, it's a little heavy but your muscles plus my super strength make it manageable. Are we good on magic? I'm a little drained, but nothing ser-
They stopped their internal conversation, seeing their pacing brought forth a small patch of grass into existence. "Hey Willow, I think I'm giving you a power boost." Orchids lift their foot and put it on the ground, more gross forming. Remember what you wanted to do with that swarm of Boiling Beatles when they ate your garden? I could've wiped their existence from the Isles entirely. Feel free to do that to them.
Orchid raised their hand, vines sprouting from the ground, the forest itself transforming into a massive hand, spiking the various tools of the Demon Hunters. They looked up in horror as Orchid descended. "Bow before your …" Wait, I have a question. A third voice!? This is really weird. Am I a god or a goddess? Hm good point…I do feel particularly feminine in this form. And I just hope we never use the bathroom like this.
Cool, cool. "Bow before your goddess, and hope they let you off free, or maybe I'll decide to place seeds in your hearts and nurture trees with your blood vessels." They commanded, using a tree that had fruit to launch the seeds through the steel cuff on their arm.
"I promise to plant a tree in the forest everyday! I'll go vegetarian and dedicate my entire life to embracing nature and all its wonders!" The guy that pushed them off the cliff bowed while shaking like a little baby. Hah, wimps.
"Luz." Orchid turned to their two friends, hugging each other tightly. "I'm scared right now."
"So am I Gus…so am I." What's their problem? They're acting like they've never seen a powerful witch before. Some people just can't handle sheer awesomeness like we can.
"Stop being silly guys, let's free Hooty and get back home before Eda kills us more than she already will." Orchid reminded them, using her powers to lift the two on a giant leaf and cut the bonds holding the house down. "If you think what I … we did was bad, her rage will be bottomless." Orchid laughed….feeling a sense of peace either kids hadn't felt in a long while.
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"...And that's why I make sure Lucci swallows every inch of veggies and fruit he eats, skin, rind core and all." Eda decided that until something happened, she might as well catch Bismuth up on a few things in her life.
"I've gotta meet this kid in one of these kidnapping situations, he sounds like a riot." The grey woman laughed. "I think I actually found one of those vegetable monsters in my backyard. Feisty little critter." Eda could've sworn she'd burned them all out of existence. Last thing they needed was another invasion.
"So…are those rumors about you building a tower true?" King decided to ask.
"Partially, it's more like a homage to a previous life than anything else. A small piece of nostalgia I can take it easy in every now and again."
"I think that's one of the few things we can't agree on." Eda rolled her eyes with mirth. "Life only gets better, the old parts are where everything bad's at."
"Meh, I've got some good memories here and there. When you've lived over six thousand years you pick up a bit of thrill for the old ways." They responded, looking through the equipment stubbles had. "Now here's something fun." Bismuth pulled out a couple of books. "According to this, he took a book from the human realm and repurposed it for the Demon one. An 'Azura' series."
"Ooof, that's so sad and so hilarious in multiple ways like you wouldn't believe." Now she had something funny to share with Luz when the time was right.
"Don't diss my work!" The man shouted. "You do what you can to compete with you two maniacs taking up all the jobs."
"Hey, ain't our fault we're just so naturally talented and amazing. Maybe that's a sign you should stop while you can…guess that won't be possible with the comformatorium and all."
"I have to ask, you clearly don't like the Emperor or his system, so why are you bagging bounties for people who go against it?" King asked
The gray woman frowned. "As much as I like to bring the Bismuth into action, the last clash I had didn't end well. I lost to some chump calling themselves the 'Golden Guard'. Could've sworn I landed a lethal blow on him. So instead of being direct and losing, I'm buying up resources and playing the waiting game." She grinned. "If I ever need an army, you're the first gal I'd bust out of that stone prison."
"Awww, that's cute, you think I'm actually going to prison." Eda snorted. "Tonight's going to end like every other time you've attempted, Bizy. With your butt whooped and me running away with the goods."
"You might run away, but I recall whooping your but a few times too." The Rainbow Devil grinned. "I could always do it again before I'm done."
"Oh my Titan, my only consolation is that Lucci isn't suffering watching this too." King groaned.
"No, he's just at home making sure nothing terrible happens…could've used his shield though." Guess Eda was going to have to wait until morning to see him after all.
Bizy paused. "A shield … you should probably get him something else." The woman chuckled. "The last time I saw one of those it was on a particularly nasty bitch."
"Sounds like an interesting woman if she drives you crazy. Who knows, maybe I'll meet her one of these days."
SMASH
A giant foot came crashing down ontop of the stand, and Bismuth as well as a giant walking house came passing by through the streets. "But obviously, that won't be today, Bizy!" She laughed, noticing a vial of Elixir on the ground rolling into her direction. "Bottoms up!" Using her mouth, she scooped it up and downed the entire liquid. It was bitter as always, but it didn't compare to the sweet taste of victory.
Using a small spell, she unlocked the chamber, freeing herself. "Well it's been nice Bizy, but I have to run. Need to head back home."
"Um, Eda." King spoke up. "I think that is our home."
"Wait what?" Eda shook her, getting a better view of it. Sure enough, it was her house, walking and moving with giant bird legs that she swore weren't there before. "What in the name of the titans is going on!?"
"Hey mom!" Some teenager kid with Lucci's stone in it's stomach shouted out, holding hands with Luz and the short Hexide nerd. "I may or may not have had sex!"
"LUCCI!" Eda wasn't sure what was going on, or what this random stranger had to do anything, but she was going to get answers, and she was going to get them now! Rushing over as fast as her staff could bring her, she blasted herself in front of the taller kid at maximum velocity. "What have you done with my kid!"
"Wait, mom - it-i-OH m an-I feel soo- " The plant looking…Eda wanted to say girl but she wasn't sure…began moving in a daze before a giant flash of light emanated from Lucci's rock. A second later, she saw that the stranger was gone, and Lucci and that Park girl were now on the ground.
"That was … the weirdest experience … of all time." The Park girl muttered with wide eyes, staring off into the sky.
"Yeah…felt sort of invasive but strangely calming at the same time." Her boy, safely intact and his gem NOT ripped out of his body, blinked several times. "Probably going to put a pin on doing it again until I know what the heck that was." He looked at her. "Oh…hey mo-"
"Lucci, don't scare me like that again!" She gripped the boy into a hard and tight embrace. "I thought some creep ripped you apart."
"No, it was just … puberty?" He asked questionably. "Like seriously, even by my powers that's out of left field."
"Can't say it wasn't awesome, if incredibly terrifying to witness." Luz noted. "So now we can.."
"I haven't forgotten about you kids animating MY HOUSE and breaking the no friend's over rule." Eda glared.
"I think we all made mistakes tonight." Luz said slowly. "We brought friends over and possessed the house while taking Hooty for a joyride, and you …" She looked over at the group.
"Forgot King?" Gus asked.
"Nope, right here." The little guy popped from her hair. "But she flirted with the Rainbow Devil, and it's just as disturbing as it sounds."
Lucci looked both horrified and intrigued. "… Is my dad another mom-"
"How about I forget about this little betraying of my trust and you wash your brain clean of anything remotely resembling that topic?"
"Wait, now I'm genuinely curious." Luz pipped up.
"Of course, this whole night never happened." Willow nodded her head.
"Not helping Willow." Lucci muttered.
Still, to conjure an entire house … that took some power. The next generation was just getting crazier and crazier, wasn't it?