I just spaced out through all of the afternoon classes. On one hand, I was badly rattled by everything Ajin said and wanted to make sense of what happened and why she thought and spoke in this way. On the other hand, I just didn't want to think about it. It felt like the easy way out of it was not to think over what Ajin said, just let it all fly over my head and well, just sit here like a pretty flower.
My old weak self was winning the battle inside of me here. The more it hurt me to think about what was said the less I wanted to understand. She was right after all. I even failed at ending my own life, and although my - Jenn's - family was paying for all the hospital fees, it was still a monumental waste of money. I probably would have been better off dead, or even better than that would be if I'd never been born at all.
