I am a loser.
I've been alive in this world for 16 years, I'm in my first year of highschool. What do I have to show for it? Average looks, Average grades but no girl ever wants me. Maybe my looks might be less than average. Anyways, I'm currently sitting alone at my desk, chowing on my store bought sandwich. Looking at everyone around me making a fuss with their friends. I do have a few friends of my own, but I've moved schools a long time since Covid started. A lot has happened since then, Not to myself. I'm still same old Akira who likes to scroll on Social Media in the looks of someone new. Actually, Let me think back on what I've done with my love-life. I looked up and daydreamed.
My first relationship, This girl who was apart of my diverse and i MEAN diverse friend group, Let's just call her Al, I don't remember her actual name. Ali here was an extrovert in our online friend group. She was cheerful, Charismatic and confident. One day, My "friend" got me to confess to her indirectly, Maybe she wanted the tensions to slow down but nah, It probably was just out of pure pettiness. It did work out however, Though since it was just an online relationship... It fell apart relatively sooner or later.
My second relationship and my biggest regret to this day, Her name was Rekishi. She was a close friend of mine. My 14 year old dumbass thought It'd be cool to flirt for fun with her. It was also online. And she actually fell for me. She was so head over heels over an online relationship to the point that She couldn't leave me alone without texting 24/7. 3 months passed and I've been the same idiot I was before lockdown. I just wanted things to end between up, and go back to normal I suppose. I...
blocked her and never recontacted again.
How incredibly pussy of me to do so. I'm actually distraught by 14 year old me's actions. It was as bad as Real Madrid fans. They did this for fun, and so did I.
Ever since then, I've been desperate to fix my actions, But nothing but heartbreak after heartbreak happened. Every girl I texted, They were playing with my heart.
Can you see a pattern here? Every thing i just talked about, only occurred online, God I'm actually pathetic. Letting Online conflicts taint my mentality. Whatever, I've long passed that point.
"Akira? AKIRA!!!! Earth to Akiraaaaa!"
Huh? A human talking to me? I thought I was supposed to be a loser forever, FINALLY! I can make some friends and an actual relationshi-
It's just my teacher, Miss Shoko Kitsurugi. She had long white wavy hair while rocking a ponytail, Don't know if it's her genes or that she's just old as hell. She wore rectangular black glasses, She wore a medium sized skirt, had a white trenchcoat and rocking a T-shirt underneath. It looked like They'd pop from those gargantuan... Nevermind, I said i was done with my pinpoint observations, No. They just got in the way of my vision field! I had nothing to do with that!
"Wake up to reality kid!" My teacher says as She lightly knocks on my head.
"Miss, Why are you addressing me in such an informal way. Is it because you want to hide the fact that you're almost hitting age 30- Ack!"
With a huge WHAM! Miss Shoko has already socked me in the gut.
"I may be your teacher but i still have FEELINGS you know!"
"I apologize, Please leave me be."
"No I can't let you be. You have to hand over the abstract paper that the school had you kids do."
"Oh yeah..... That...." I said sarcastically as I hand over the paper to Miss Shoko.
Miss Shoko signals me to follow her to her office, As she lights up a smoke to ease herself of her stress. She looks at me, Looking much more stressed than usual.
"Almost everything about this paper, I like it, Especially the fact that you're into Anime and Football, God listened to my prayers and I can finally talk about what I like with one of my students!"
She may look old and sexy but She's a complete child mentally I swear.
"So, What team do you support?"
"Liverpool."
"Aw snap! Good choice kiddo. I like Barcelona. Mainly because of Lionel Messi's reign over the world back then. Good times."
"You're making me sound old teach."
Miss Shoko's glare was so scary that my soul almost escaped my breath, Then she sighed.
"Look, You really have to consider what you say to people about their age, Especially girls. Just look at your answer this what you want to do."
I looked at it while I 100% knew what she was talking about.
"Look kid, Life isn't all about romance. It's about experiencing everything that you could possibly reach. Set goals, Have fun! Romance is just a tool for more stress, I'll tell you that."
"Is that why you're still not married, Miss?"
Before her ROCK landed onto my gut again, I yelped
"It's a joke! It's a joke."
"You wouldn't want to see my paper or scissor."
"Hunter x Hunter?"
"You watch the show? Oh my god, That's like my favorite."
Now's not the time to yap about what you like watching teacher.
"What were we talking about again?"
"I don't remember."
A cheap attempt at trying to escape from the teacher's grasp, Nice one Akira.
"B-Back to the point!" Miss Shoko stuttered while speaking. "As I am still your homeroom teacher, I have to help you with your disease. You have an obsession with trying to get into a relationship."
"Is this your problem with me miss? By the looks of it, It seems that you're just jealous of my ambitions."
"Get out before I kill you."
"Y-Yes Ma'am"
Later that day after school is dismissed, I think back to myself "Is this really worth it? Are relationships worth the time and effort put into it? Eh, I just have to wait and see for what's to come in the future."
What really is happiness?