Yena
Present
I'm in tears listening to Yul's side of the story. The emotions of that time hit me like a freight train, a phantom pain ripping through my abdomen as I keep my hands over my flat stomach, imagining the child that should have been there. Grief consumes me, an overwhelming sorrow crashing over me in waves as I realize just how much was taken from me, from all of us.
I look over at Inha, his face twisted with rage, hands balled into white-knuckled fists at his sides like he's barely restraining himself from lunging across the room to attack Yul again. I know that look, I've seen that anger before and it terrifies me now just as much as it did then in that hospital room.
Shifting my gaze to Yul, I see he's moved from the couch to kneel at my feet, head hung low in devastation. His broad shoulders shake with the force of his sobs, anguish and guilt radiating off him in palpable waves. I reach out, my fingers trembling as I brush the hair back from his face, wanting nothing more than to soothe his pain even as my own consumes me from the inside out.
I finally find my voice through the torrent of emotions. "That was the past me," I say, my words shaky but resolute. "All of that happened before I lost my memories."
I turn to look at Inha, his handsome face twisted in fury, and our eyes lock. "It's behind us now," I tell him meaningfully.
Shifting my gaze to Yul, still kneeling at my feet, I reach out to gently cup his face. His eyes are awash with guilt and sorrow as he meets my tender look. "My past self never blamed you for losing the baby, Yul," I murmur. "She had already forgiven you. There's nothing left for you to apologize for."
The words seem to hit Yul like a physical blow. A ragged sob escapes his lips as fresh tears spill down his cheeks. I stroke his face soothingly, my heart aching for the pain he's carried all this time.
Yul lifts his head, his eyes shining with unshed tears as he stares up at me in disbelief. "How could you possibly know that?" His voice cracks with raw emotion. "After everything I put you through..."
A soft laugh escapes my lips, surprising even myself. I shake my head gently, offering him a tender smile. "It was me, Yul. Even if I don't remember all the details, it was my heart that felt it."
I reach out, cupping his face in my palms, my thumbs caressing the dampness on his cheeks. "My memories may be gone, but my soul remembers loving you."
Leaning down, I press my forehead to his.
"That connection doesn't just disappear, Yul," I murmur against his skin.
I gently brush Yul's hair back from his forehead, cradling his face in my hands as his tears subside. His eyes meet mine, glistening with a turbulent mix of guilt, sorrow, and a fragile glimmer of hope.
"Yul," I murmur, my voice thick with emotion. "Please don't push me away again."
He stiffens slightly at my words, but I don't let him look away. Holding his gaze captive with my own, I continue firmly, "Put that pain behind us. Be with this version of me that doesn't carry the weight of those memories."
Yul's throat works as he swallows hard, fresh tears welling in his eyes. "Yena..." he rasps, his voice cracking. "How can you even bear to look at me after what I've done? I took everything from you..."
"No," I interrupt, shaking my head vehemently. "You didn't take anything, Yul. That was circumstance, cruelty beyond your control. What's important is that we're still here, together."
His eyes slip closed, and I feel his body tremble against mine with the force of his emotions. "I never deserved you," he whispers brokenly. "Not then, and certainly not now."
Sliding my hands into his hair, I hold him close, my lips a hairsbreadth from his. "That's not for you to decide," I murmur fiercely. "I chose you, Yul. Twice over. My heart knew what it wanted, what it needed."
I press a soft, searing kiss to the corner of his mouth, tasting the saltiness of his tears. "Let me choose you again," I breathe against his skin.
A ragged exhalation escapes Yul's lips, and then he's surging forward, capturing my mouth with a desperate, searing kiss. I return his passion with equal fervor, losing myself in the familiar heat of his embrace. This is what I've been missing, what I've been unconsciously craving—the wholeness and connection that only Yul can provide.
When we finally part, breathless and trembling, Yul rests his forehead against mine once more. His eyes are closed, his features finally relaxed into an expression of peaceful acceptance.
This is when Inha interjects, his voice cutting through the weighted silence like a knife. "You're free to feel however you want, Yena," he bites out, glaring at Yul with undisguised contempt. "But I can never put what he did behind us. Not after..."
His words trail off abruptly, but the implication hangs heavy in the air. I frown, turning to study his taut features, the muscle jumping in his clenched jaw. "Why won't you even try?" I implore, searching his stormy eyes. "For my sake, at least? I need to move forward from this."
Inha holds my gaze for a long, stretching moment. I can practically see the gears turning in his head as some internal struggle plays out across his chiseled features. Finally, he lets out a slow exhalation, and when he speaks again, his tone is carefully measured.
"There's more to it than you know," he says, each word precise and clipped. "But I will not speak of it anymore."
With that, he pushes himself to his feet and stalks from the room without a backwards glance. I watch him go, a furrow creasing my brow as confusion wars with hurt inside me. More than I know? What else could there possibly be?
The soft scuff of movement draws my attention, and I turn to find Yul still kneeling beside me, his dark eyes shining with a complicated mix of emotions. Guilt, sorrow, weariness—they all swirl together in those endless depths.
"Yena..." He starts to shake his head, but I reach out to still him, my fingers curling around the nape of his neck.
"Enough," I murmur, holding his gaze captive. "Let's leave it for now." I search his eyes, trying to convey the fierce determination blazing within me. "I just want us to live for this moment. Not constantly trying to make up for a past I can't remember anyway."
His throat works as he swallows hard, and for a moment, I think he might argue. But then his features soften, resigning to the resolve in my voice.
"If that's what you want," he rasps finally. "I'll try."
Relief washes over me, quickly followed by a swell of affection that leaves me momentarily breathless. Pulling him closer, I press my forehead to his, allowing my eyes to drift shut.
"That's enough," I whisper against his lips. "That's all I want."
Yul's only answer is a shuddering exhalation, and then his mouth is on mine, slanting over my lips in a soul-searing kiss. I lose myself in the familiar heat of his embrace, surrendering to the connection that burns brighter than any memory could.