(A/N: Play Fire on Fire by Sam Smith.)
Everything Kayla did was blurry. As she drove to each store to get things for Maya's birthday, her mind was in a haze, and at a store, she almost forgot her credit card.
She entered her car, put on her seatbelt, she sat there for minutes thinking about everything that had happened. When he wore the same clothes as her to class, was it because he saw her through the camera picking out the clothes the day before?
Was that how he knew she was at home when Louisa was sick? It didn't make sense. "Fuck!" She hit the steering wheel with all her might.
Why did he do this? Why did he do something so immoral, so terrible without her consent? What did he stand to gain from all of this? And for a moment, a foolish moment she thought he cared about her. She thought that there was something. That they didn't just hate each other but fuck was she so wrong.
She tried with all her might to feel disgusted, to hate every second they spent together but she couldn't and that was the worst part. The part that tore her apart. She wanted to hate him, she needed to but she just couldn't because deep down something pulled her to him. Something evil and vile because that was the only thing she saw in him now.
She raised her head to stop the years from flowing. For some reason, she couldn't explain why her heart was breaking so badly.
"Why did you do this, Oliver?" She whispered but the only answer she got was her heavy breathing in the enclosed space of her car.
Sniffing, she started the car and drove back home to pick up some other things for the party.
By the time she got home, it was already seven in the night which meant she had about three hours till the party officially started.
However, as she parked and got down from the car her jaw dropped. "What the fuck do you think you're doing here!?"
Oliver stepped forward but she held her hand up. "Don't come any closer, you bastard! Get the fuck out of here or I'll fucking call the police!"
"Hastings…"
"Kayla! It's Kayla to you!" she snapped. "Did you put those cameras in my house Oliver? The house Louisa and I live in?" She licked her lips, hoping that he would deny it and that she impulsively jumped to the conclusion that he did it.
"Answer me goddamit! Did you do it!? Was it you!?"
The minute he saw that she had seen the camera, everything came crashing down for him. The first thing he wanted to do was go to her but she left the house abruptly so he had to wait.
"I can explain, Hastings. Let me explain." The plea in his voice and the way his gaze softened did things to her, however, she didn't want to hear his fucking excuses.
"Explain what!? Explain how you repeatedly broke into my house and stalked me!? How did you invade my privacy without my consent!? Huh, Oliver!?" She forced a laugh and Oliver inhaled sharply.
"If you let me speak, if you give me a chance to explain myself to you-"
"Explain why you did it because of what!?" She walked forward, placing her palms on his chest, and roughly pushed him away. "Why!? There is nothing you can say or do that makes sense to me! You are so fucking lucky that I didn't already call the police!" Kayla pushed him away again but he grabbed her hands this time.
"Don't you fucking touch me you criminal!" His hands held hers tightly and the warmth sent electric shocks to both of them.
"Why didn't you call the police, Hastings? Tell me." He baded, making Kayla scoff. "Unfuckingbelievable!"
"Is this all a game to you? Am I a game to you?"
"What type of game do you think I'm playing?"
"Prey. You want to hunt me down, Chase me, and ruin me, isn't that what you want? Isn't that why you planted the cameras!?" Oliver chuckled darkly.
"And where do you think you can go in this world that I won't find you?" she thought he was chasing her, but he had already caught her and all he gave her was the illusion of being chased and he would be damned if he let her go.
"Oliver, what do you want from me? Why are you doing this?" At this point, she was exhausted. Her voice grew weak.
"Oliver," he repeated, a slow smile spreading on his handsome face.
"I like it when you call my name, Hastings. It makes me happy. Say it again." He urged softly but Kayla was done with him.
"You are sick and I want nothing to do with you." The best thing was to drop out of the class but she couldn't, especially when she had come this far.
"Why, Hastings? Do you think you can run from me? Do you think you can hide? I hate hide and seek, so keep lying to yourself." Oliver let go of her hands.
"You are such a hypocrite, you know that, professor?" She sneered, the mocking clear.
"You sat in class the other day lecturing me about right and wrong when you of all people should be the last person to speak! You disgust me, Oliver!" She spat in front of him.
'You disgust me, Oliver!' The words rang in his head. Four words. Four words were enough to shatter him and rip him to shreds.
"Don't say that, Hastings. You don't mean it." He shook his head but Kayla took a step back, "But I do, Oliver. This is madness, insanity! How could you?" her voice broke, "How could you?"
The accusation left him in pieces. "I didn't want to, Hastings and I tried. I really tried, please believe me but watching you, being next to you helped me in so many ways that I can't explain! Please believe me. Believe that I couldn't stop myself!"
"Why are you so obsessed with me!? Why!?" She yelled, tears streaming down her face. The betrayal stung more than a thousand Scorpion pinch.
"Because you fucking entrance me, Hastings! I can't stop thinking about you! You fucking ruined everything for me! My morals, my plans where you never existed! You did that, Hastings! You healed me! You saved me!"
He couldn't even fathom the thought of touching a woman, but he touched her over and over again. She made him feel things just by being her. Being funny, being an amazing friend, being selfless, strong, independent, and annoying.
She drew him from the darkest times of his life. She was the light in his darkest times.
"From what!? From what, Oliver!? How can I save someone who has already destroyed themselves!?"
Oliver gently used his hand to wipe her tears away. "Don't cry, Hastings. I don't want to see you hurt because of me, please."
"But you've already hurt me." A sob escaped her lips and if he didn't regret his actions before, this did it for him. Words weren't the most powerful, but Kayla's cries.
He became his mother when he vowed never to be. When all he wanted was to make sure he didn't turn into her and become his own person but look what he had become.
"I'm sorry. I truly am, Hastings. How do I stop hurting you? How do I make it better, please tell me, Hastings." The desperation in his eyes was so visible to Kayla.
"You can't, Oliver. You just can't," she whispered and she shivered because of the night breeze. It was only because of the night breeze not how distraught Oliver looked.
"But I want to. I want to try, let me try, please…"
"I want the cameras gone," she demanded.
"Done."
"Let me rephrase, I want you and the cameras gone. Far away from me and my life. As far as far can get!"
"That's not possible, Hastings. I can't walk away from you and don't ask me to."
She licked her lips, folding her arms because of the cold. Oliver took off his coat and wrapped it around her.
"Don't take it off, Hastings." It smelled like him. Citrus. So sweet too bad the circumstances were far from that.
"I'll earn your forgiveness, my feisty raccoon. No matter how long it takes."
"And what if I never forgive you?" She questioned, irritated.
"I'd gladly spend my entire life making you forgive me."
"Why is my forgiveness important to Oliver fucking Wilde?"
"You know why, Hastings." A sad smile spread on his lips.
"I don't, Oliver." She took off the coat and handed it to him before walking away from him. She wanted to look back one last time. She wanted to see his face, to break down in his arms but she needed to get away from him.
'You know why, Hastings.'
Did she know why?
Kayla stripped, her cheeks stained with tears and her eyes blank, and got into the shower with Sam Smith's Fire on Fire, playing in the background.
What did this mean for them? What were they? Enemies? Two souls with conflicted pasts drawn to each other?
The water from the shower cascaded over her body in a steady stream, starting at the crown of her head and flowing downward, so were her tears.
It traced the curves and contours of her skin, warm droplets pooling at the collarbones before slipping down her chest, shoulders, and arms just like Oliver's touch. His smile, his care, touch, and eyes. The way he stared at her like she was the only person in the room.
The steady rhythm of the water created a soothing, almost hypnotic sensation, enveloping her in a gentle warmth as the steam rose, fogging the air around her like her mind.
But why did he do it? What did he want to explain to her? A laugh escaped her lips. He went out of his way to stalk her and watched her sleep, cleaned her room, and stocked her fridge. The situation was absurd. Maybe he didn't know how to express his affection for others so he was misguided.
She would be right because what started as an obsession, mere desire and curiosity became everything that clouded his judgment. He wanted to change and be worthy of her smile and tears. He wanted to be worthy of her and not damaged goods.