Where am I?
My consciousness flickered, the familiar weightlessness surrounding me. The darkness was comforting, still, and I could feel nothing but my own thoughts drifting. Slowly, memories began to return. Ah… that stupid system. It didn't even let me decide what to do. The irritation simmered just beneath the surface, but there was something else now—something brighter.
A soft light appeared in the distance, faint at first but steadily growing stronger. Strange... why do I see light? I had been enveloped in nothing but blackness for what felt like an eternity. This light was foreign, unfamiliar.
It drew closer, expanding, filling the void. Wait a minute... It's getting closer. My thoughts raced, and with them, a vague sense of unease settled into my chest. Am I supposed to be worried? The brightness intensified, becoming overwhelming, almost blinding. Panic flared, sharp and immediate.
Too bright! Too bright!
I squeezed my mind around the thought, but the light only grew stronger, as if it were trying to consume me. AHHHH PLEASE STOP. IT'S TOO BRIGHT!
And then... everything went still. Silence. The light, now all-encompassing, seemed to hum with a warmth I could barely understand. For a brief moment, I wondered if this was related to mana. Was this how mana felt? It was the first thought about magic that crossed my mind since I had learned of its existence.
"Congratulations on your first attempt at cultivation," the familiar voice of Ive echoed in my mind. "You had a 1% chance of success in completing your cultivation process and successfully created a mana seed, and 99% risk of failure. You have now reached the first level of mana cultivation, and can begin using basic magic, please continue improving to evolve your mana seed into a core over time."
My thoughts stilled for a moment before I processed what the system had just said. Wait… what? I felt a rush of disbelief. You're telling me I had a 1% chance of success... and a 99% chance of death?
"Yes," Ive answered matter-of-factly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
I felt my irritation spike. System... CAN YOU ASK FOR MY OPINION NEXT TIME?
"I'm sorry, Host, but you did not activate the 'Ask Before Proceeding' setting."
I let out an internal groan. You know what? I don't want to talk to you anymore.
But even as I shut off the conversation, something stirred within me. I had survived. I had taken my first step on the path of mana cultivation, even if I didn't fully understand it yet. Mana users could tap into the very essence of the world—control fire, shape the wind, and reshape the earth. Someday, I might wield such powers. But for now, I was nothing more than a beginner.
As I sank back into silence, the world around me shifted once again. There were voices now, faint at first, growing clearer.
"Congratulations, Miss, it's a boy."
The words echoed in my mind. I froze. Ive, what do they mean by 'it's a boy'? I asked, feeling a strange sense of dread creep in.
"I was not the one who said that, Host," Ive responded, a hint of confusion coloring its usually neutral tone. "It appears to be someone near you. I suggest you open your eyes... but with caution."
The system's advice barely registered as I felt something new—a sensation I hadn't experienced in what felt like an eternity. My body. The warmth around me was no longer an abstract feeling of comfort. It was real, pressing against my skin. I became acutely aware of the weight of my limbs, the softness beneath me.
Slowly, I blinked. The world around me exploded into color, sharp and overwhelming. Pain shot through my skull as my eyes struggled to adjust to the brightness. Blinking rapidly, I forced myself to focus. The room came into view, and with it, five figures hovering nearby.
Two men, three women. One of the women was holding me, cradling me as if I were... I blinked again, processing. Wait, am I the baby? The realization hit me like a punch to the gut.
One of the men—a tall, broad-shouldered figure—was crying. Who are these people?
"He's beautiful," the woman holding me said softly, her voice thick with emotion.
"Yes, he is," the man beside her replied, wiping his eyes. "Everything is fine with him. Perfect. No defects or anything wrong. After all those years of trying… after so many losses, we finally have a son."
Tears of joy, I realized, watching the scene unfold with a strange sense of detachment.
So... that must be my mom and dad, I thought, piecing together the conversation. And it sounds like they had a hard time having children before me. The reality of my situation settled in more deeply now. I had been reborn, just as Ive said. But this? This was real in a way I hadn't been prepared for.
The woman holding me—my mother—was looking down at me with a soft, tired smile. "He's perfect," she whispered.
"Strange," she added a moment later, turning to the others. "Isn't he supposed to cry when he's born?"
"In most cases, yes," another woman nearby replied. "But a few babies don't. Don't worry—it's perfectly normal."
The man who must have been my father looked down at me, his eyes red from crying. "Selene, what should we name him?"
My mother supposedly—Selene—chuckled softly. "Didn't we already choose his name?"
The father supposedly, smiled sheepishly. "Oh right, Azure. But… isn't that a girl's name, it sounds like one right? I thought we should name him something more common, like John."
Mother frowned playfully. "John? Lenny, come on. There are thousands of Johns in the world. I want his name to be special, like no one else's."
Azure... I thought to myself. That's my name? In my previous life, names were never so complicated. But now, I was in a new world, with a name that would mark me. I would grow into this new identity, and perhaps one day, I would be strong enough to prove that names—like power—are what we make of them.
"I can confirm, Host, that 'Azure' is traditionally a male name in many cultures, but it appears that the naming conventions or societal norms of this world mistakenly categorize it as feminine." Ive stated.
Great, I thought sarcastically. So not only do I get reborn with a girl's name, but the whole world is confused about it too. Perfect. I'll have to tell everyone its a boys name instead now.
Father—Lenny—sighed. "Alright, alright. But won't he get bullied for having a girl's name?"
"Nonsense," Mother said confidently. "He'll be strong, like you. He'll prove to everyone that he's not someone to be made fun of."
Lenny chuckled. "Yeah, well, I'll make sure to teach him how to be exactly like me."
Mother rolled her eyes. "Hopefully he doesn't pick up all your bad traits too."
Lenny laughed again, a hearty sound that filled the room. "What bad traits? Your husband is flawless!" he said with a wink.
"Flawless, indeed," she muttered under her breath.
Suddenly, one of the other women in the room—a nurse, perhaps—stepped forward. "Everyone, we need to leave now. Miss Selene needs to feed the baby."
Feed the baby? I thought, the words sinking in slowly. My mind, now a seventeen-year-old in a newborn's body, struggled with the concept. Wait… by 'feed the baby' do they mean...
"Alright, little Azure," one of the men said, patting my head lightly. "I'm your uncle Ben. Welcome to the world."
As the rest of the room cleared out, my father gave me one last, longing glance. "I still think we should've gone with John," he muttered under his breath as he followed the others out.
Mother smiled, shifting me in her arms. "Time to feed you, my little Azure."
And then... I realized what was about to happen. My mother began unbuttoning her gown, preparing to breastfeed me. No. No, no, no, no, no! My mind screamed. I'm still seventeen on the inside! I can't handle this!
But it was happening. As her gown slipped down, I squeezed my tiny eyes shut, willing myself to disappear. Please no, please no...
But there was no escape. This was my new life.