For years, I didn't know my stars were out of wishes. Or my sky was out of stars. Then you came into my life and changed it. The sound of the church bell rang, the organ's beautiful music playing in the background, the choir's harmonic voices echoed inside the church, and the summer's sunlight beamed through the church's windows. Everything about this day is perfect, it's beautiful. But then I laid my eyes on you. As you walked through the nave, your presence had every guest turning their heads towards you. You were the most gorgeous person I've ever seen in my entire life.
Your radiance glows everywhere. Your long Platinum blond hair shines as you walk by the sunlight, complemented by your white wedding dress. Your eyes are as deep as the ocean blue. Your precious porcelain white skin. And the smile you have on your rosy lips. You are flawless in every aspect. Everything about you is perfect. Everything about you is beautiful, just like this day. How was I even fortunate enough to have met you?
To have you by my side is a gift from the heaven above. Your eyes met mine, and you smiled at me. Enough to make my heart skip a beat. It …hurts, to see you walk past me toward the altar, where he stood waiting… your soon-to-be husband. I cried smiling. Not because I couldn't have you in my life. But because you found someone you could be happy with, and have a family with. Something I can't give you.
And you have already been in my life, ever since the beginning. I can still remember the feeling of the sun on that very day. The falling leaves, the cold wind in the air, and the bright smile you have on your face, trying to befriend this timid little kid with their fictional books. I can still remember what you said to me word for word when we first met …or when you first met me.
"Hey, you there! Do you want to be my friend?" You asked me. The first thing that caught my eye was your platinum blond hair, which waves as the wind blows. It was a sight to see, forever marked in my memories.
Even though I was a timid kid, you welcomed me so easily. And from that day onwards we became close friends. You would always come to me and invite me to play along. You would sometimes ask me to come to each other's houses for sleepovers, talk about our interests, share our secrets, and many more fun things. My childhood with you is what I cherish the most. You are a significant person in my life. Even after many years, we've stayed together. And even though you were surrounded by people, making new friends. You didn't let it hinder our friendship.
I'm still at the top of your priority list. Making sure we have time to bond, making us even closer. We were inseparable, wherever you go, I go. I was already too attached to you. I couldn't call it a day unless I saw you. Making me develop these sinful feelings in the eyes of others… I thought these were feelings of admiration because I adore you heavily. But no… And one of the most memorable things I have with you proves that it's more than that. And it was when we had our dance together in prom, that I came to realize what these perplexed feelings were…
I was on the side of the dance floor. My timidness hadn't disappeared yet, even after Philean had introduced me to her many new friends. But I don't want anyone other than her. I don't care for others, what only matters is as long as Philean is by my side… And the more time I spent with Philean the more I …feel this strange feelings. I can't seem to understand what these are. My heart aches just thinking about it… In my head, there is only Philean and no one else. Every second, minute, hour… my mind is only thinking of her… Why? As I was thinking to myself someone poked my cheek interrupting my thoughts
"Hey you, need a partner?" You asked me. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of you. You look so beautiful in a nightgown, it suits you even more with your hair tied to a bun with flowers attached to it. Your face is very beautiful. I'm going nuts over it. And before I finish thinking you pulled to the dance floor. My hands on your shoulder, and your slim waist. I'm actually dancing with you. I thought to myself at that moment.
My heart is beating even faster… Your face and mine are too close. Making my breathing heavier. Why am I feeling this way? Her deep blue eyes are staring at me… I feel like I can drown it. Your rosy lips smiled at me, making small talk, and laughing when I made a mistake. Your warm hand that I can feel through my dress. And of course, your Platinum blond hair shining from the disco ball. You looked astonishing… Every small thing about you is Addicting. I think I'm addicted to you, Philean. Why though? The sight of you is making my stomach feel… something. I can't seem to understand. But one thing did pop up in my mind. I just want to… Kiss you.
My heart skipped a second time. Is that it? Is that how I see Philean? I see… I now know what these feelings are. But… as much as I want to convey these vexing feelings to you. I can't. I'm afraid it will destroy our current relationship. I will be bringing this feelings to the grave with me. Never letting it be known. It aches my heart to think about it, but I can't have you. For I am the same as you… I don't know if my life would be the same without you. So I'm glad you interfered with my life back then. You showed me that there is more to life, more to see than my fictional books. And that is one of the reasons why I'm fond of you. But I must end it here…
I have to… No, I must, let you off my grasp. I… I must let you go. To let you find someone who would love you the same amount as I do. Someone you could marry without having a problem. I've become dependent on you. I don't know if my life would be the same without you. So I'm glad you interfered in my life back then.
As I sit with guests to witness both of your holy matrimony. I envy the man you're standing with. and I doubt he loves you the same way I do. I couldn't help but imagine myself standing there with you instead of him. I would do everything in my power to take his place. I would even make a deal with the devil if I had to. I just want to stand with you, hand in hand, stating our vows in front of our friends and family. At the same time, we stare into each other's eyes with deep loving affection. I don't care if others may not like it. I would even defy God's will only to marry you on that altar. Just to get my lips to touch yours. And say 'I love you'. But my train of thought was derailed by the clapping sounds of the guests. I stood up with them and clapped my hands. You two are officially a married couple. Congratulation…
Those figments of my imagination of you with me will forever hunt me because I can't make them into reality. I'm no more than a side character in your love story. My flower may be withering, but that's okay, I can endure the pain. Cause As long as you're happy, I'm happy. I will keep supporting you no matter what happens, as a losing heroine. And you always said you were afraid of loneliness my love. Now, I've sent the whole world to be with you.
.
.
.
FIN.