I'm a seeker. I am never satisfied with an answer until I've investigated for myself. Contentment isn't something I feel. Believe me, I wish I did… I envy a contended soul.
I have wanderlust of the spirit.
I'm also very aware of the fact that the secret is within—we all are wearing the Ruby Slippers—but I can't help but continue my search, my longing, my yearning…
It was Abby who suggested I visit Venera, a practioner of a sacred ceremony or ritual loosely based around the art of Tantra. I was sceptical, I always am but as usual, my curiosity and fomo got the better of me and I typed in the clinic name from the card Abby had pressed into my hand.
"You won't regret it," she'd said and kissed me on the cheek as she breezed out of our lunch date and back to work.
I'd badgered Abby several times to tell me what the sessions involved, had she been, and what was itlike but all she'd text back was, what goes on in Tantra stays in Tantra and so I had to take the leap of faith and clicked on the 'book appointment now' link on the very classy website.
It was expensive and it gave me a thrill to spend so much money purely on my own amusement. I justified it by speaking out loud to myself about my spiritual journey and quest for enlightenment but deep down as my pussy clenched, I knew it was all about sex. Sex can be spiritual right? I certainly believe orgasms are… astral planning or soul dancing or wherever the place I go during climax is definitely not of this earth… or even this realm. Fuck I sound mental… let's hope this Venera is a bit bats too.
So here I am about to embark on some sort ofawakening, the start of my erotic massage story. I had no idea what to wear, I knew I was going to be naked at some point but what about the lead up?Makeup? Hair? I'd opted for a delicate updo and natural-looking eyeshadow. I guess I'm hoping to impress my new mistress. I'm like that, always have been. I'm an apple-for-the-teacher kinda gal. I want to be the best, the most special… the one who makes you want to tend to them with extra care… I want to be your very favourite.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no pushover, but if I do like you, you will receive the very best of me… and some.
I don't know if I'm getting this all wrong, and my ego and vanity will be frowned upon, but hey, who doesn't love a pretty client? I shuffle my heels a little and press my thighs together to get a little dragging sensation to smoosh my already puffy pussy lips within my carefully chosen panties. Silk, of course, but I didn't want to be too fancy, so I held off on the stockings and skirt and went for some capri pants that had a seam thick enough at the right points to grind against unnoticed. I'm sure some designers do that deliberately. Secret pervs like me wriggling in our chairs to get ourselves off… God bless a naughty gusset seamstress.
Anyway, I'm stalling.
I squeeze my Kegels one last time and press the intercom.
I'm buzzed in immediately without any hello, and I climb the plush staircase to a single door at the top. My phone buzzes with a text. It's from Venera.
Good afternoon Georgie. Please enter and change into the robe provided and head through into the studio. I'll meet you there.
I'm shaking by the time I'm trying to tie the robe ribbon around my waist. So much for my silky panties, they lie folded neatly alongside all my other personal effects, phone switched to do not disturb and I check it once more before letting the ribbon hang loose, fingers too fumbly.
I have absolutely no idea what or who to expect. I tentatively knock on the already ajar door, it opens gently and soft music curls around me. The oddestsensation of being cocooned and beckoned by sounds and smells has me floating into the most serene room I've ever been in.
"Come in, please, sit…" Venera, a beautiful blond woman with a slight European accent, sweeps her hand over the ground before her. She's cross-legged, wearing a tank top and loose shorts, and her aura makes me feel deeply at ease but with a little flush of excitement flirting at the edges. Her energy is calm yet electric. How can that be? I can't help smiling, and she smiles back once more, indicating that I should sit before her. I have the urge to be nude and let the robe fall from my shoulders. It flutters and caresses the heightened nerve endings of my flesh all the way to the floor. I step in front of Venera and sink down.
We face each other cross legged and the silence between us is expansive… I suddenly worry I'm going to get a fit of the giggles… it might all be too serious for me, but just as my inhalation hitches, she reaches out and takes my fingers in her gentle grip, slender digits tenderly holding my own. The energy shifts and I swear static jumps between us.
She begins to massage my fingertips and then palms more deeply, breathing in and exhaling to a swaying rhythm, which I feel compelled to mimic. The more we breathe together, the more natural it feels and I can't tell who's leading this dance anymore. She's put me in a trance, and I fall deeper into it as she slides to the side and then behind me, bidding me to lean back into her delicious embrace. We are breathing as one and she holds me like we are electrons orbiting the same nucleus.One hand to my breastbone. One to my belly, andthe air we breathe in and out of each other feels sosignificant. I'm outside myself and inside myself all at once, just allowing her every movement to consume me. Once I'm truly and deeply immersedin her flow, she moves me with her energy to lie down on the soft cashmere blankets, and I feel supported and connected to the earth below.
I take a moment to settle myself, allowing all my muscles and sinews to just be as Venera's magic touch lightly brushes over my back.
The pop of a bottle stopper alerts me to the joyful knowledge that a massage is very much on the cards and I can't help a long sigh being released, breaking the silence.
A deep craving is beginning to rise within the pit of my being, my core, and it's like all my energy is amassing for something huge. Venera uses her fingers like ten magic little wands, conducting these sparks like a lightning rod down into my pelvis. Her hands move excruciatingly slowly to the base of my back and the top of my hips. I absolutely implore her with every cell of my being to slide her fingers in between my buttocks. I hear the drip and slathering of oil being poured into her palms, the sloppy sexy sounds of liquid being worked into flesh have me salivating, and a shiver goes from the tip of my head to my clit as Venera's touch slides down, and she captures each ass cheek. I wriggle, trying to entice her to reach in a bit deeper but she pauses, taking her hands off me. I resolve to stay patient as I sense her standing up and her garments being removed.
I visualise her stepping out of her shorts and my pussy twitches hard at the thought of us both being naked together. Oh my god. Every nerve ending is on fire as she kneels between my legs, her body heat matching mine and she starts smoothing her palms up and over my bottom once more. This time, she slides all the way up and I can feel the pebbling of both her stout nipples as they trail their way up my buttocks and back. Well, I did not expect a breast massage, that's for sure.
I must be soaking her lovely sheets I'm so fucking turned on right now. I arch my ass high to meet her full bosom, grinding my hips up to meet her movements. The press of her heavy tits onto my flesh is heavenly. Then her whole body is on top of mine, her pudenda pushing in between my ass cheeks and I'm whimpering, mewling into the crook of my own arm. She lifts off and rises to the side, pulling my hip slightly to expose my thirsty rump. I oblige, spreading my legs wider, tempting her fingers to explore me. Oh and she does. She kneads each buttock, sliding the heel of her fist down into the dip of my crack. Was that a fingertip? It was so brief I can't tell if I imagined it. My pussy is clutching and trying to catch on to anything. I'd swallow her whole right now if I could. I feel so wanton, so open.
"Crack me apart Venera," I want to whisper but no sound comes out, I think she can hear it anyway as she manoeuvres me gently onto me back, urging my thighs even further apart as she does.
I have to close my eyes—I can barely handle the intensity of what is happening. Even with them closed I find I can see more than if they were open.
Fuck.
She pours warm oil between my tits and down to the valley of my belly, letting it drizzle onto my cunt. Oh fuck YES.
I'm undulating in rhythm with her touch as she slides her palms up and down my body at once holding me and freeing me with her lavish attentions. I know I need to be patient but my body is almost coming by itself as she curls her fingertips around my nipples and pinches lightly, sending a bolt of lightning to my clit.
Jesus Christ she's good. One more tweak, and I would have literally come right then, but she seems to know exactly how to keep me on the very brink.I've never been one for edging. Like I said already, I'm a seeker, I'm craving the destination… but this…this is one journey I'm happy to stay on for a little longer.
Oh my god, finally, her finger presses down hard on my clit, and I buck in spams slightly, desperate to be thrown off that cliff edge, but again, she halts, pulling my legs down and together.
I'm astonished when she stands, showing me her beautiful glistening pussy lips before stepping either side of my hips and lowering herself to straddle my thighs. Mmmm yes, it looks like we both might get some today.
Using her body weight to guide her hand between my legs, she begins to hump and grind herself onto the back of her hand which in turn is battering against my clit, one two three flingers push their way into my greedy hole while she rides me, taking her own pleasures from above.
Fuck yes, this is good. This is fucking hot.
I trail my hands down her back, I don't know if this is allowed, but I don't care anymore, I reach down between her buttocks to her sopping pussy, hooking my fingers in from behind and pulling hard so her clit will be exposed even more to the back of her naughty sexy knuckles as she fucks me.
Yes. Take it you dirty sexy bitch, I want to say as her juices soak my fingers while I soak hers. I wriggle my backside slightly to allow another finger in, that's four, I'm sure.
I think back to the time I took Abby's fist, and that's what I want now. I fractal off in a haze of memory, and visions, sounds, and sensations carry me away to that place, that place where I'm everything and nothing all at once. The universe folds in and out of itself and my cunt opens and swallows the whole thing up, ready to birth it all anew.
When Abby lubed up her knuckles, I breathed deeply, knowing instinctively I was capable of taking whatever she dished out. And dish she did.
It was slow, excruciatingly slow and beautiful and as my body expanded and my pussy opened a little more, she caught my gaze and stared deep into my soul. One final splash of lube to her thumb, and she breached me. I had let out a roar, and her face flickered and danced with the light of pure amazement and delight at what she had just done.
We had breathed long and low and deep, just as Venera and I had at the start of this session and I now understand why she wanted me to come here.
Abby had let me calm down, allowed my cunt to untense at the initial invasion, a virgin I was no more and my body and mind needed to stretch to accommodate this new state. With her hand inside me, we began to gently rock.
"Are you ready?" She said and I nodded as she slowly, slowly curled her hand into a fist inside me.
We stared hard into each other's eyes as she pulsed into my cunt and with her other hand, brought her fingers to her mouth, pushing them in, stuffing herself the way she was stuffing me, gobbling up her own fist as I was gobbling hers and we were suddenly feral. Growling and eating each other, consuming bodies and souls. We were alive.
We are alive.
And oh fuck, I'm coming. I'm coming through the moon and the stars and the skies and the atoms of every thing there ever was and ever will be.
And now, as Venera holds me in her arms, controlling my descent from the tantric high, hand still jammed to my twitching snatch, I can't help feeling a pang of regret that Abby and I didn't stick things out.
But I'm a hard person to be with, I can see that now. My discontentment must be frustrating for those who love me—who must feel like they can never be enough for a seeker like me. It hits me deep and hard in the solar plexus, like a thud from heaven, orenlightenment or wherever souls collide to that place of knowing, that yes, Abby is right. Even though I'm wearing my ruby slippers I'll still never click my heels together. Instead, I'll keep walking, keep searching and keep on seeking.
Though somehow, that's ok. Abby must have sent me here for a reason. She knew what was needed. I wonder how many times she's been here?
I doubt Venera would reveal such information, and I'd be annoyed if she did, though I am curious whatlessons Abby learned about herself.
We settle into a languid rest, fingers and limbs entwined on the floor. I feel no urgency to get up and get dressed. Venera cradles me so perfectly. I'm suspended in a strange cocoon of big mother energy, but it's the full round sensual, all-encompassing soul of the feminine, and for a glimmer of a moment, I find peace…
*
I'm early for lunch, I wait with both our orders already made, black coffee for me and an oat latte for Abby. Her grin shines from her soul as she strides into the café, all heads turn to catch a whiff of the buzzing energy emanating from her.
"Wait, you're actually here first?" She laughs and gives me a peck on the cheek, "And you ordered?" She gasps and picks up her drink sitting opposite me. "Wonders will never bloody cease."
I smile back and we both lift our cups to our lips gazing at each other from over the brim. So much in a look. We try hard to be friends as if it isn't awkward and I really try to believe in my enthusiasm for Abby's new partners, but the truth is, I love this woman.
"I take it you saw Venera…" she says.
"How did you know?" I ask wondering at her acute observation.
"Hmmm you've got that glow of someone who's met god."
"Dramatic much?" I'm laughing because honestly, Abby never speaks like that, she's the most grounded and pragmatic person I know. But this feels different.
I reach my hand past her jaw threading my fingers into her hair. There's that look of sorrow that lingers around us—the vague shroud of unrequited love. No, not love, we loved each other fully—unrequited future maybe? Who wants to be with a discontented soul?
She cups my hand in her palm and tips her head to the side to nuzzle in deeper. A look crosses her expression, it's dark and dangerous and something has ignited.
"Did she make you come?" She asks, a flicker of something flashing in her eyes.
"Maybe…" I say, rolling the words seductively on my tongue and slide my thumb up under her chin, smearing the lipstick on her lower lip. She lets her jaw go slack, inviting me into her hot, hungry mouth, and I instantly obey, pushing my thumb inside where she suckles hard.
My cunt clenches and she's feasting on my hand, violently displaying her want for me over the table. My nipples stiffen and peak in my blouse and if we don't leave together right now, I fear I might actually die.
"You wanna get out of here?"
She draws my fingers in deeper, saliva dripping down over my knuckles and nods, pulling her head back to beckon me out of my chair and I jolt forward.
I sigh, a strange new feeling of being present, beingcontent with the here and now washes over me.
"Come on then…" I say, then click my heels together three times…