"Oh yeah. When you try to promote yourself to a girl you like, you're
called gross or a criminal or you're accused of sexual harassment. But
when you turn around and say to heck with relationships, people say
you're just sulking, trying to act tough, or feeling inferior because you're a
virgin."
"Those are some really specific examples. Is that based on real-life
experience?"
"You see stories like that on social media and stuff. Maybe because I
heard about those experiences first, I decided I didn't want the same thing
to happen to me. It sounds like a big hassle. So I made it a rule not to get
involved in relationships."
"I see. Yeah, I get what you're saying."
She could have teased me by quoting Aesop's famous fable about sour
grapes, but she simply agreed. The stiffness in her voice and expressions
eased slightly. Maybe she could relate to something I'd said.
"So anyway, that's why my clothes are my armor."
And just like that, we were back on the topic of her clothes.
"I have to dress well and get to the point where others say I'm
beautiful. Then I have to do flawlessly in school and at work. Dressing
well is the first step to becoming a perfect, strong woman who can crush
any fool who tries to put me in a box."
Her tone was matter-of-fact, as usual, but powerful emotion was
seeping into her voice.
…She was my opposite.
I didn't want to deal with the roles people pushed on me, and I tended
to stay away from others and run from my problems. Ayase, however, was
the type who spat at the rest of the world and went on the offensive. She
was strong.
But within that strength, I sensed a hint of fragility.
"Are you okay with that?" I asked. "Doesn't it tire you out?"
"As long as I prove them wrong, it's worth it to me."
Prove who wrong?
The question flitted through my mind, but it seemed awkward and nosy
to ask, so I kept it to myself.
Her values seemed too old-fashioned for someone our age. Maybe
they'd come from her real father—Akiko's ex-husband. In that case, I
didn't want to trespass into her personal space. I didn't like it when people
got nosy about my mom, so it was only right that I afforded others the same consideration.
I forgot what I wanted to say to her as thoughts like that whirled
around in my mind. Then Ayase broke the silence.
"Aren't you the same?"
"I'm not strong like you, and I don't intend to fight against how others
see me."
"But deep down, you think expectations are a hassle, right? Both the
expectations others have of you and the idea of expecting things from
other people."
She was right. That was why it'd been so easy for us to come to an
agreement when we first met at the restaurant.
"We need the strength to live independently to free ourselves from the
annoying expectations and judgments of other people," she said.
"I see. That's why you're looking for a well-paying part-time job."
"Oh-ho. You've seen right through me."
"You've been giving me so many hints. It was pretty obvious."
Ayase seemed impressed, but I just sagged my shoulders and
continued:
"You need the money to be independent, right?"
"Exactly… Sorry."
Ayase looked down awkwardly.
I didn't ask why she was apologizing. There was no need for me to
quiz her on why she, someone who had probably never worked before, had
started looking for a high-paying job so soon after joining the Asamura
family. The answer was obvious.
She wanted to be strong and proud and live independently without
depending on or expecting things from others, and now she was staying
with new people who she could easily rely on.
"There's no simple way to make good money working part-time," I
told her. "The wages I earn at the bookstore are pretty low, too."
"I see…" Ayase hung her head. "Then I guess I have no choice but to
give up."
"You're not going to look into it yourself?"
"If I really take it seriously and start gathering information from
scratch, I'll lose study time. I have zero information, since I've never had a
job. I might be able to figure something out if I dedicate a lot of time to it,
but it's not worth the effort. I'd end up having to choose between
researching jobs and keeping my grades up, since I'm not smart enough to manage both."
"Okay, I see. I might have an easier time doing the research, since I
have work experience and my network is bigger."
I didn't have that many friends myself, but according to what she'd just
said, Ayase was a total loner. She seemed to be friends with Maaya, but I
hadn't seen anyone else around her.
"I might be able to help you find the kind of job you're looking for," I
said.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I have a friend at school who's pretty well-informed."
He was the only friend I had.
"And I have a coworker who's into all sorts of things. I think she might
have some suggestions. I have a shift tomorrow, so I'll ask her then."
"Thanks. It isn't fair to keep asking you to do things for me, though, is
it?"
She took a sip of her miso soup as she thought this over.
"Miso soup," I said.
"Huh?"
"I'd like you to make miso soup for me every day."
I was sitting at the dining table with a girl my age I'd only just met,
like it was no big deal. As I took in this extraordinary scene, those words
simply spilled out of me.
Ayase looked blank for a few seconds, her miso soup bowl still at her
lips as if glued there.
"Was that a love confession?"
"No, no. That's not what I meant."
I wasn't surprised she'd thought that. Without any context, what I'd
said was basically a Japanese-style marriage proposal.
I'd actually been thinking about Akiko saying it would be tough for her
to cook dinner every day. If Ayase and I took turns, I'd have to cook.
When it was just Dad and me, we'd make do with takeout, deliveries,
instant-meal packs, and convenience-store fare, but that wasn't going to
cut it anymore.
However, I had my job to think about, and I wanted time to study and
to read books and manga. Even if we took turns, would I really be able to
fit in cooking?
It had been years since I'd last had homemade miso soup, but I knew it
tasted much better than instant.
These thoughts had been swirling in my brain for a while, and they
were the reason I'd blurted out that line about miso soup.
"Well, okay," she said. "I don't particularly mind cooking. I'm pretty
good at it, too, so it won't take up all my time like researching jobs
would."
It appeared I'd managed to convince her.
"Then I'll provide you with information on lucrative job
opportunities…," I said.
"And I'll make meals for you," said Ayase.
Although we knew it was bad manners, we pointed at each other's
faces and confirmed that we had ourselves a deal.