Emma woke up before the sun had even begun to rise, the stillness of the early morning pressing down on him. His mind had been restless, refusing to settle into sleep for more than a few hours. He lay in bed for a while, staring at the faint light creeping through the curtains, his thoughts tangled and heavy. Today felt different—like the weight of everything was pushing down on him harder than before.
Unable to lie still any longer, he slowly sat up, his feet hitting the cool floor. The house was silent, almost eerily so, and for a moment, he felt disconnected from everything around him. It was too early for Alex to be awake, so he had the house to himself. He slipped into the hallway, each step feeling heavier than the last.
In the living room, he sank onto the couch, the quiet enveloping him. His gaze wandered to the framed photos on the mantle—pictures of him and Alex at various ages, family moments frozen in time. There were no photos of his mom, not here at least, but he thought of her anyway. It was hard not to on days like this. Even if he disliked her.
The bracelet Alex and Sarah had given him at the fair was still on his wrist. He turned it around in his fingers absentmindedly, feeling its weight. His mind wandered back to the fair—the games, the rides, the conversation on the Ferris wheel. It had been a good day, but the reality of the surgery still loomed large. He had tried to distract himself, but the fear was always there, lurking just below the surface. The surgery was today, and he was anxious.
He sighed, standing up and pacing the room, trying to shake off the anxious energy. He wanted to call his friends, to talk about anything other than his heart, but it was too early. Instead, he moved to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water, trying to focus on the simple task to keep his mind from spiraling. Then remembering he couldn't drink or eat anything because of the surgery today.
"Why is this so hard?" he muttered to himself, pouring out the glass again.
"Why can't I just be like everyone else? Worrying about school or... what game to play after class?" He set the glass down, his hand trembling slightly. The anticipation was overwhelming, the uncertainty gnawing at him. No matter how much he tried to keep it together, the fear was always there, whispering in the back of his mind.
-----
As the first rays of sunlight began to filter through the windows, Emma heard footsteps behind him. He turned to see Alex moving quietly into the kitchen, still in his pajamas. Alex gave him a small smile, though his eyes were tired.
"Couldn't sleep either, huh?" Alex asked, reaching for the coffee pot.
Emma shook his head. "No, not really." Alex sighs.
"Sarah should be here soon… until then, you can rest…" Alex sighs as Emma looks away silently.
"I was going to make some pancakes," Alex said, his voice softer than usual.
"You want some?" Emma shook his head.
"Can't… not allowed to eat or drink for up to 24 hours before surgery…" Emma could feel the tension in the air, though none of them were acknowledging it. They didn't need to. Today was going to be tough, and they all knew it. But for now, they were together, and that was enough to hold on to.
As the smell of pancakes filled the kitchen, Emma took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. The day ahead felt like a mountain he wasn't sure he could climb, but sitting there, watching Alex move with such quiet strength, he realized he wasn't facing it alone. They were all in this together.
-----
As the clock ticked closer to the time they would leave for the hospital, the house seemed to close in around them. Emma sat at the edge of the couch, his hands clasped tightly in his lap, his thoughts running wild. The quiet that had once been a comfort now felt stifling, and he could feel the tension building in his chest, threatening to spill over.
Alex sat next to him, his arm resting on the back of the couch, his gaze fixed on the window. Sarah was on Emma's other side, her hand resting gently on his knee. Alex had not said a word since Sarah showed up shortly after breakfast, and the weight of the impending surgery hung heavy in the air. Emma felt like he was on the edge of a cliff, and all the fear he had tried to push down was rising to the surface.
"I don't know if I can do this," Emma finally whispered, his voice shaking. He looked at Alex, then at Sarah, his eyes wide with uncertainty.
"What if something goes wrong? What if... I don't wake up?" Alex's face softened, and he shifted closer, placing a reassuring hand on Emma's shoulder.
"Hey, we're going to get through this. I know it's scary, and I won't lie to you—it scares me, too. But you're strong, Emma. You've made it through so much already, and I know you can do this." Emma shook his head, his throat tightening.
"But what if I can't? What if it's too much? I don't... I don't want to leave you and Sarah. I don't want you to be sad." Sarah leaned in, her voice calm and soothing as she squeezed his hand.
"We're going to be right there with you, every step of the way. No matter what happens, we're not going anywhere, okay? You're not alone in this, Emma. We'll face it together." The words felt like a lifeline, but Emma's fear didn't disappear. His voice cracked as he spoke again.
"I don't know if I'm ready... what if this is the end?" Alex leaned forward, his expression soft and full of love.
"Then we'll face it, whatever it is. But I believe in you, Emma. You have so much life ahead of you. There are still so many moments we're going to share—good ones. This isn't the end, not by a long shot." Emma's eyes welled with tears, his hands shaking slightly as he wiped them away.
"But what if it changes everything? What if I'm never the same after this?" Sarah brushed a strand of hair from Emma's forehead, her voice steady and warm.
"It's okay to be afraid of change, but remember, we're with you. No matter how things turn out, we're going to figure it out together. We'll adjust, we'll support you, and we'll keep moving forward as a family." The word 'family' stuck with Emma. He looked between Alex and Sarah, feeling the depth of their love and commitment to him. Even though his fear was still there, the presence of both of them made him feel a little stronger. After a long pause, Emma nodded, his voice barely a whisper.
"Okay. I'll try." Alex pulled Emma into a hug, holding him tight for a moment.
"That's all we ask. Just keep trying, and we'll be right here with you." Sarah joined the hug, her arms wrapping around both of them. For a brief moment, the fear didn't seem as overwhelming. They were in this together, and that made all the difference.