"Mama..."
"Hm?" she looks at Shu while drying the little's hair.
"Where did you meet Uncle Zee?"
Pan halts. She blinks her eyes, staring at her daughter.
"Why?"
"I like him. I have a good feeling about him," Pan feels bummer. These are the scariest words among those babble tatters that Shu ever said to her.
"Oi, you have a crush on him?" Pan tries to make a joke. Shu pinches her cheek.
"Don't change the subject, please! It's not for me.... but for you!" Shu pouts her lips.
"Shu, I've told you many times..."
"I know you don't want to. But..." Shu looks down. She bites her lips a bit.
"Shu, are you gonna say that you need a father?" Pan mumbles a bit.
"I-" Pan stares at Shu. Her gloomy eyes make Shu feels torn apart.
"I'm not a good parent for you, right?"
"No... It's just that..."
Pan waits patiently.
"Mama, I have a good feeling about Uncle Zee. I mean, I can look upon him. He's a good man," says Shu. Pan keeps quiet. She lost her mind when Shu told her that.
"Shu, you just met him once. You cannot evaluate people in that short period..."
"And here I am telling you that he is a good person. I like him. I trust my judgment," the girl stubbornly upstands her opinion.
Pan sighs. Shu's stubbornness complements her too-hip parental style, and she's the person that Pan fears the most right now.
Who's to blame?
Of course, Pan needs to look at herself in the mirror! It's on her, for sure!
"You gonna meet him again?" asks Shu.
"Nah. He's a senior and he will graduate soon. I don't think I'll meet him again," Pan replies fast. Yeah, the answers seem realistic.
Shu clamps her palms together and shuts her eyes tight.
"Bunny, what are you doing?"
"Praying," she subtly replies to her mother.
"May I know what are you praying for?" Pan smiles at Shu.
"This and that. Nothing much," Shu pulls her blanket and tuck herself to bed. Pan watches her with a smile on her face.
"Good night, bunny..." she gives her daughter a good night kiss.
"Mama..."
"Yes?"
"I just want you to be happy..." Shu softly tells her before shuts her eyes and drifts into a dreamland.
***
It's a bit hot tonight, so Pan decided to do some laundry. Even though it's not good to dry up clothes under a roof at this hour, she still does it anyway. She will have a rush morning tomorrow, so this will buy her some time.
While watching the clothes tumbling inside the washing machine, her mind drifts and wanders around. Shu's words and what happened today at the sports day appear too good to be true. After some years, she meets a face that she unexpectedly meet is something beyond her plan.
And now Shu is slowly taking a liking to Zee. That is a nightmare for her!
She sighs as she watches the clothes tumble up and down, just like her feelings now.
As long as I can keep Zee away from Shu, the secret stays with me! She calms herself down.
***
"Morning..." Bear greets Zee who is yawning while entering the classroom. He nods and slams his bag on the table.
"Where is Ta?"
"He needs to meet the dean for the mentoring program," Bear replies. He takes out a note from his bag and starts scribbling something.
"Bear..."
"Hm?"
"Why is everyone staring at me? Is it me or my imagination?" Zee looks around. His classmates took a bit too much interest in him this morning.
"Oh... Did you check the university's X page?" Bear smirks. Zee quickly grabs his phone. He's so busy that he forgot to check his social media. To be honest, he's not the type of person who is into this kind of social thing anyway!
He scrolls down when he stumbles something that makes his heart sink.
#teamZeePan
#teamCrayPan
"Ai shia, what is this??!" he almost yells out. Bear giggles in tiny.
"Congratulations, now you're officially a target of the shippers..." Bear pats his shoulder.
Zee checks on the picture that is uploaded to the page. A picture of him and Pan facing each other. Pan was standing a bit higher than him. He was standing on the stage.
Like Romeo and Juliet.
#teamZeePan
This is too absurd to digest!
He scrolls the page again. This time, it's a picture of Pan, holding the bunny's head costume with a man standing in front of him with a wide-ass grin.
When you fall in love with a cute bunny!
#teamCrayPan
His guts churn while looking at the picture.
That picture was the day when she was assigned as a bunny mascot for the BBA cafe. In that scorching weather, she fought with herself to give her best to reach the expectation of the seniors. Zee was fully aware and remembers that day.
***
Flashback to the Open Day.
"Don't tell me she's running solo!"
"Yeah, she is dancing in that for the past 2 hours now..."
His heart sank. Immediately remember what she told him the day before.
Responsibility.
"I'll be back..." says Zee.
"Where to?" asks his friend.
"Roaming around..." he then left the booth. Looking around the venue. When he stumbled upon the Home Econ booth, he saw something.
Pink milk. Pan's ultimate favorite drink.
So, he decided to buy the drink. Pan must be tired and hot in that costume. This will boost her energy. Zee smiled, thinking about the old memory that he had with Pan.
The pink milk.
It was the element of their first meeting.
***
Ten years ago.
It was scorching hot at the field. That evening, his soccer team had a final game with the neighboring school for the district level. It was so hot, that even he, who used to stand under the sun felt the heat was killing him.
He whined at his teammates on how the weather might kill them in no time. That's when he saw the boy was holding a glass of pink milk. He asked him where to find the drink, and he said there was a booth that sold the drink on the other side of the field.
In the hot weather, he dragged his feet towards the booth, wishing for a glass of pink milk. However, on his way, he stumbled upon a girl. The impact was so strong, they almost crashing so hard against each other. Her bag slammed onto the ground, so she squatted down to pick the scattering things from her bag. Zee helped her as well because it was his fault that he collided with her just now.
"I'm so sorry!" Zee quickly apologized. The girl just shook her head while smiling. They stood up together, with Zee handing her the last remaining notes. She smiled a bit to him, making his heart thumping so bad.
"Your shoes lace..." suddenly, the girl pointed out his shoes. He was about to tie it when the girl quickly crouching down and tied it.
Zee felt a cold wind swipe away his tiredness in the hot sun. He couldn't react properly as he stood there, looking at her while blinking his eyes. No one ever did this to him. As he could remembered, only his mother ever tied his shoes. It was long way back when he was five years old.
Somehow, he felt special. The girl made him felt special!
"Pan!"
Those moment got interrupted when two girls run towards them. One of them was a bit round while the other one was too skinny.
"Come fast! It's almost finished!" said the chubby girl. They dragged her away from Zee, leaving the lovesick boy alone.
As he walked towards the booth, two girls stopped him for a bit.
"Excuse me, are you Zee from Class D?" asked one of the girl.
"Yes?" Zee blinked his eyes. One of the girl shrieked a bit, before handing him a glass of pink milk.
"What is this for?" asked Zee. The girl sheepishly smiled at him before handing a small note book.
"Can I exchange this pink milk with your number?" asked the girl. Zee frowned as he surpassed the uneasy feeling inside. He always got proposed, almost everyday, that made him felt desensitized.
"I can't believe it's finished! We're this close to get the last cup!"
Zee heard a whine voice passing by, attracting his eyes to catch the person.
It's the girl that he met before!
Quickly, Zee scribbled something on the notebook. "Here. Call this number!" he hastily passed the book before fleet the scene. As he saw the girl and her friends, he sped up and stopped them midway.
"Wait!" Zee said with a heavy gasp from his lips. The three girls watch him in shock. Zee bravely handed her the pink milk.
"Huh?" the girl batted her eyelashes.
"It's my fault that we collided before. So, here... A token of apologize..."
"I can't accept it..."
"Believe me, you should. I meant it," Zee shoved the plastic cup to the girl, forcing her to grab it with care and smile.
"I'm Zee. From Class D," said Zee out of blue, making them stare at him unfazed. His eyes were locking at the girl. She was glancing at her friends with a blushing face.
"Nice to meet you, but we are in hurry so..."
"Can you do me a favor?" Zee asked her again. The girl nodded, although her face looked hesitate.
"Can you watch my match later? We're going to final," his invitation made the girl's friends shriek for her. She was still remained calm and demure, looking at Zee with a helpless laugh.
"Sure! You're playing for our school, of course I'll come and watch the game!" the girl replied with her melodious voice.
Zee felt like he was flying, shoot up to the seventh heaven. He almost jumped onto her, but instead, he stomped his boots on the ground.
"Thank you!" Zee couldn't help but ran away out of shyness. His spirit regained some super power to win the match today!
"Come on guys! Let's win the match!!" he screamed in joy once he saw his teammates. They look at him with puzzling mind, but since he insisted, they nodded and ready to win the match.
***
Ever since that day, Zee kept trolling Pan. He took a lot of interest in her, until all of his friends teasing and shipping him with her eventually. Luckily, that matter only sticks among his friends. As the school policy that prohibited their students to date at the school, they kept it discreet. Plus, Zee will lose his cool if someone happened to know about it.
Plus, he had a solid reason to keep it as a secret. As his popularity shoot up to the roof amongs girls, especially after the team won the final, the threat was something that he couldn't handle. He wanted to protect Pan from those crazy girls who haunt him almost everyday. He couldn't let them bullied her for the fact that she is his dream girl.
So, this shipping thing... Actually, it's not new to him!
"Why are you smiling, huh?" Bear nudges his waist. Zee shakes his head a bit, putting away his phone. He sits in silent in his chair, casually checks the comment section.
@xcryforlurve: i think, the econ moon suits the best! The ship is more lovely and solid compared to the other one. #teamcraypan
@hylt: #teamcraypan for the win!
Zee falls in a deep silence. Smile slowly disappear from his face as he reads those comment. His heart begins to stir up as he remembers the way Cray looked at Pan that evening. And how broken he was when he saw them staring into each other's sight in such a loving day, with a cup of pink milk thay he bought for Pan, which was already meaningless for him
Slowly he slumps into the epiphany, knowing that Pan isn't belong to him anymore.
His heart bleeds again.