Forty six times. No, maybe it'd been forty seven. After the tenth time I'd lose track ever so often and have to restart.In the span of a completely unknown amount of time, I'd almost died forty seven times. My consciousness slipping and a light growing brighter in front of me, that was until Infra jolted me back to life with enough volts to probably kill just about anything.There were more than a few instances where I simply fainted from the lack of fluids or light headedness. The smells of urine and puke that laid waste on the ground certainly didn't help. And at certain points, it was simply not wanting to continue on living. Most people in my situation would have something to look forward to. Something that pushed them to keep on going, to endure.Well the only images passing through my mind, in the place of happy memories, nostalgic moments, and overall good things to look back on, were my three years of burning agony, my journey from the last few days and the strange memories I had retained. Two out of the three weren't actually negative, but they were in no way "things to live for" type of memories.Finally after my chest had been emptied out, or at least after the hollowness followed the pain, Infra spoke for the first time in a while.My hell was not over. I'd only walked past the first circle.My limbs were ripped from my body and re-attached. My eyes crushed and pulled out, only to be reformed seconds later. Deep claws ran across my entire body, carving every inch of skin. My fingernails and teeth were pulled out one by one, being replaced instantly. My hair fell in clumps in front of me, mixing with the fluids on the ground.My eyes were so dry I couldn't cry even if I wanted to. The pain was so excruciating, but I could no longer scream.It was an unprecedented level of torture I wouldn't wish on the worst criminal in the universe, but yet I was living it.Every single second of it, awake.In a very short amount of time, I'd taken on years of pain. But for some utterly idiotic reason, my suffering was not over.My ripped and bleeding lips curled up into a small smile, realizing just how funny it all was.Then the world faded into nothingness.⥁Two young boys and a little girl ran through fields of scarlet and violet coloured flowers. Childish grins stretched across all three faces, their expression aloof and care-free. They ran, and ran and continued to run for hours, their laughter seemed to have no limit.But finally, one of the boys and the girl stopped. The smiles slowly faded from their faces. The second boy turned to ask what happened, but before a single word could leave his mouth, a mouthful of blood sprayed out of him.He looked down to see two hands pulling away from his chest, along with two knives plugging the holes inside of him. He crumpled to his knees, and watched as the pair found their smiles once more and had already begun to run off together.Their laughter carried through the wind.The boy lay there, his body losing colour and life. But his expression never changed. The boy died with a smile on his face, and laughter were his last words.⥁My eyes opened slowly, the soreness of my body still very apparent. The room smelt like citrus and soap, so at least someone had come into the room afterwards. I felt a little bad for them but at the same time embarrassed.I can't even imagine the horror of seeing a shirtless teenager lying in a puddle of tears, piss, puke and hair. But damn am I also glad that there was no conversation that needed to be had, which naturally would have been the case had I been awake.Even after all that had happened, I had no idea if it had worked. My body felt no different, other than the soreness of course. The last thing I could remember was the pain of everything being ripped off of me. Meaning, since Infra didn't try to wake me up, that could be a sign that it had failed ever so spectacularly. And if I went through all that just for there to be no results, I would have more than a few things to say to that damned robot.I stayed silent for a moment. Not out of anger, but to genuinely process the question. How was I feeling? It was a dumb question but I hadn't fully processed it. There was a strange sense of emptiness, but it was one I chose to ignore."Like a guy who's very mad at the chip in his mind. So did it succeed, or did you put me through hell just for shits and giggles?"Oculat was such a strange language. In my mind it all sounded like regular-old English, but hearing the words leave my mouth, it all seemed so strange. You could say three words and it meant a sentence of double or triple that word count."Save the explanation Infra. What's done is done. Just answer the question." I interrupted.If every movement I took didn't hurt, I might have smiled. In full truth an uneasy sensation had settled in me, a sensation that tried to convince me it had failed.While relishing in my success, my mind caught onto the latter half of the sentence."Metamorphosis?"The "first" was something that definitely piqued my interest, but my mind wanted a rest from complicated stuff."So then, I already know I've probably been out for more than just the night. So we should probably get started on my training as soon as possible right?"Surely there were better things to ask and more rest to take, but there's no way even the most stoic of people could remain static upon hearing they were finally able to use magic.…"Infra what do you mean the agony path?"In hopes?In hopes!?"So you mean to tell me Infra. That not only did you not know if torture would work. But there were also a whole spectrum of emotions that we could have tried first!?"⥁It took me three weeks to be back in tip top shape. My body felt a lot lighter, and much more fit after the metamorphosis. My anger towards Infra's little stunt still hadn't subsided, but I had too much on my mind to hold a grudge.After another three to four weeks of basic mobility and resistance exercises, the day had finally come. I was finally going to learn how to use my Heartile."Infra, it's magic. And after the hell I had to go through to awaken it, I'm not going to allow some feelings to stop me."I was more than ready. This was not only a want for me, but a need. I had to master this power, if I ever wanted to be able to continue on my path in this world. Did I know what the path was? No. But it would eventually become clear to me.I was so immersed in Infra's words, I didn't even realize it was talking to me.Snapping back to reality, I excitedly closed my eyes."Now what?"'Feel my chest? What the hell?' Were my immediate thoughts before I realised Infra wasn't telling me to touch myself.I sat down cross legged on top of my bed, and tried to 'feel my chest.' I focused on my insides. I felt my heart beat. My stomach growls. My eyes shifting behind my eyelids.Then I felt it. A warm glow radiated from inside my chest.In the middle of a pitch black abyss, a ball of grey light spun in place, as blue particles occasionally flashed from inside the ball.My eyes shot open."What was that?" I immediately asked."It was… beautiful." I was in a trance." So what does the colour of it mean? The type?" I was truly in awe of what I had seen."Gray?"It was all so strange, but so exciting at the same time. I couldn't contain myself any longer. I wanted to begin using my power immediately, whatever they were."Well that's fine and all, but how do I figure out what type I am?" I asked impatiently.…The night that followed, was a very quiet night.