Back in my previous life, I remember writing an essay about my "dream for the future" in elementary school. At that time, I was really into this anime where a nerdy kid used his ancestor's inventions as if they were his own, and it got me hooked on the idea of becoming a greengrocer.
Yeah, that's right. I wanted to be like that character, shouting "I'm gonna be the king of the greengrocers!" or something.
Well, life didn't quite turn out that way. I ended up running my own business. I guess you can't call it a complete joke from my childhood.
But now, in this new life, what kind of path do I want to follow?
As I pondered over the vague uncertainties of the future on my way to school, I came to the conclusion: "Let's throw all the hard decisions at Future Me!"
That's when I noticed the school principal crouching by the roadside, gently petting a cat.
"Hey, kitty. Will you listen to me for a moment? Everyone's bullying me. The students cause chaos every day, fighting over one boy, and the teachers only make things worse. Just last month, we had a huge scandal, and now, yesterday, a new transfer student got one-punched by a girl from his class."
"I haven't slept properly in weeks, and food doesn't even taste good anymore."
Oh no, the principal, who was once called the "Conscience of the Faculty," is on the verge of a breakdown. She looks so... haggard!
I've got to do something! I have to brighten her day with my patented Happy Smile!
"Good morning, Principal~! Hope you're doing well today~!"
I flashed her my best, most dazzling smile.
My beaming smile vs. The principal's dead eyes staring into the void.
And the winner is... the principal.
I lost... utterly crushed by her overwhelming aura of despair.
As I stood there, defeated, clutching my head in my hands, I noticed a shadow sneaking up behind me.
"Oi, kid. What nonsense are you up to so early in the morning?"
I turned around, and there she was—oh no, it's her. The legendary beauty, the town's candy shop lady.
Um, you see, Principal... there's been some stuff happening lately, and... ahaha...
The candy shop lady glanced over at the situation, then reached out and tousled my hair roughly.
"You're as meddlesome as ever, aren't you? I've been worried about Nanako for a while, but I didn't know it had gotten this bad."
"Leave it to us adults. Kids should be kids—sleep, eat, play, and laugh as much as possible!"
With that, she took the principal by the arm and disappeared into the morning crowd.
So cool! I want to be like her when I grow up. I really mean it.
It's been a month since the "Kimura-kun One-Punch Incident," and things have been relatively calm. The girls in class occasionally scream when they spot Duncan from a distance, but nothing major has happened.
The sixth-grade girls' zeal for studying has spread to the fifth and fourth graders.
Are you seriously planning two or three years ahead? Don't burn out, okay? I'm really worried about you guys.
As for the boys, life's been easy-breezy. Peace is truly the best.
According to Ms. Miho, Kimura-kun, the transfer student who disappeared after his first day, is still in the hospital. He's currently undergoing rehabilitation to recover.
Isn't this bad? Could this turn into a Duncan case? I was on edge, fearing that one of our classmates might get arrested, when the principal came to address the situation during morning announcements.
"We've received word from Kimura-kun's family that they will not pursue this incident further. However, he has suffered significant psychological trauma and is currently under the supervision of a specialist. Even after his return, he will require regular hospital visits."
"The hospital has requested that we avoid discussing this matter as it could worsen his condition. Please be mindful of this."
Well, it seems like the situation has been resolved for now.
But Principal, aren't you looking a little too refreshed these days? Also, is that alcohol I smell? My family's resident drunk said they've been seeing you out with the candy shop lady in the nightlife district a lot recently...
Oh, it's all in my head, right? I don't know anything, and I haven't seen anything either. So, please, lower that melodica. Just because this isn't a cartoon doesn't mean you can bash someone over the head to make them forget, okay?
That exhausting morning finally gave way to the afternoon, and I found myself invited over to Kota's house. His mom was home today, and I couldn't wait to have some of her homemade pancakes. They're my favorite.
"Hey, why don't we go to the Desert Hot Springs Resort during the long weekend?"
In this world, just like in my previous life, there's a holiday break in May. Not only the language but even the finer details of society are eerily similar.
It feels more like a parallel world than an entirely different one.
"I'd love to go, but wouldn't it be impossible to get tickets this late?"
Kota has a tendency to make outrageous plans like this. Never underestimate the madness of leisure spots during the holiday season.
"Here you go. Two pairs of tickets to the Desert Hot Springs Resort. My dad gave them to me and told me to take my friends. How about we go together with your family and mine?"
My lord, I will gladly accompany you!
What a view.
Twelve long years. "An all-girls paradise? What are you talking about?" That's what they used to say to me, with eyes full of scorn, mocking me. But I never gave up. I believed it existed somewhere.
The "All-Blue" of my dreams.
Sanji-sensei, I've finally done it. The paradise I sought is here!
As I recalled the leg-kicking, eyebrow-twirling master from my previous life, I raised my right fist triumphantly.
If only I had a magic marker, I'd draw an X on my wrist like in the stories!
"Stop messing around by the pool and come over here already!"
Oh, it's Kota's mom.
I'm busy basking in my long-awaited euphoria, can you not? Years of hope, passion, and joy are flooding my body! My heart is burning! Gasp
"Aghhhh!"
Ugh, that hurt...
I was just a sweet, innocent boy messing around a little, wasn't I? But that drunk mother of mine hit me with a full-force iron claw move! It almost reshaped my head! Was she trying to crush my skull? What is she, a gorilla?
My temple's still throbbing...
The Desert Hot Springs Resort is an all-weather complex, featuring everything from hot springs where you wear swimsuits, to lazy rivers, massive water slides, bowling alleys, karaoke, saunas, billiard rooms, and so much more. And let's not forget about the great food options!
"Play to your heart's content; we're ready for the challenge!!"
That slogan isn't just for show.
And now, I stand in the dreamland of my imagination. One-piece swimsuits, separates, bikinis, and those wraps around their waists... were those called pareos? I love those too!
So many beautiful women. So many flowers. The poolside is pure heaven.
Yes, this is it! A world with a 1:7 gender ratio! This is what I've been waiting for!
Long live the gender-ratio world!
"Your face is creepy, you're drooling."
Oof, Kota caught me.
Be cool, be cool.
Today, I'm his loyal follower. I must maintain my dignity.
"Kota~. I'll watch over the bags while you two go play, okay?"
Wow, Kota's mom is rocking the pareo look. She's chatting with my mom, the local drunkard, on a bench.
Speaking of which, I'm shocked by how much my mother has transformed. They say makeup works wonders, but this is practically special effects!
"Hey, Kota! Let's hit the water slides next!"
Floating along the lazy river, I let my mind drift toward thoughts of world peace. Ahh, my heart is cleansing itself...
But no, my desires are still burning strong. I guess it can't be helped. I'm only human.
Anyway, let's head to the water slides! But first, I need to make a quick stop. My stomach's feeling a bit chilly from the water.
Ah, much better. You know that shiver you get when you pee? It's kind of addicting.
"Hey, sorry to keep you waiting, Kota—"
"Hey, are you here by yourself? Wanna come play with us?"
"No, I'm actually with a friend, and..."
"Oh, right, that plain-looking kid, huh? Forget him. You're handsome, so come hang out with us!"
Crap! I forgot!
Kota's an absolute heartthrob, someone even Sakura Springs Academy tried to scout. I've been desensitized by Hiroshi's presence at school, but out here in this woman-starved world, they're going to kidnap him!
What should I do? There's no lifeguard or staff around to help! It's all up to me!
Time to step up, me!