They've already started working on a nursery.
I couldn't help but want to inspect every part of this room.
I excused myself only five minutes after we arrived at Jona and Nigel's house under the pretense that i needed to ise the bathroom. I could tell that Charlie and Nigel wanted privacy ... some space without me there.
He was almost as good as her at hiding his feelings. If it weren't for his red eyes, I wouldn't have been able to tell that he too was probably crying before we arrived.
He was worried about Jona.
I looked at the small colour strips plastered on the wall.
They seem to still be in the process of deciding what colour to paint the nursery. They're considering pink, yellow and purple. I guess theg know the sex of the baby.
They have pictures of Charlie and them and the baby's sonogram plastered all over the walls. I haven't even seen a picture of the sonogram before today. Forest didn't show it to me. He didn't even tell me about her being pregnant until he absolutely had to when he sent that email.
Of course I can't blame him. I can't blame anyone for not being trusted with information like this.
However, it still fucking hurts.
I knew about her pregnancy.
I was following the links that were sent to all the major shareholders regarding Lauren's hearing. I watched the videos of her hearing as a way to support her even though I was no longer really speaking to her.
She was my friend for five years. Walking away from our friendship wasn't an easy decision to make.
She threatened Charlie and her baby on that video.
I closed my laptop the second I saw that smirk on Lauren's face after she made it clear that she wasn't above killing someone just to get to my brother.
After watching that video, I found myself noticing things about Charlie I previously brushed off.
I noticed how as the weeks progressed, Charlie's form fitting outfits got looser and more flowy outfits. I noticed how even when she went on her runs, she no longer wore tight shirts, but wore shirts that were at least three times her size. I noticed how the heels she wore to work got shorter and thicker with each passing week.
Of course, Charlie still looked like a million bucks.
She always looks like a million bucks.
I didn't say anything about her pregnancy because it really was clear that she and my brother wanted to hide it and I understood why.
Charlie is brilliant and unfortunately that means a lot of people are after her. Most of the partners would kill to take over her practice and her clients and take credit for her hard work all in the name of helping out a pregnant woman.
Her clients trust her and want only her, but still, finding out about her pregnancy before the time is right might put her in a bad position.
It's unfair, but that just how it is and she knows it. Being the only partner without a senior associate only makes her situation that much more precarious. She would need another partner to handle her practice while she's on maternity leave instead of entrusting it to someone who works under her. It makes it easier for another partner to steal her clients.
Ri and I kept waiting for a senior associate to come on board, but Charlie never appointed one. We couldn't understand why until we saw everything that Jona has worked on.
Jona, an assistant with two degrees that he got suma cum laude, is without a doubt Charlie's de facto senior associate.
Charlie is brilliant, but when reading most of her files and the people who worked on certain tasks, it's clear that Jona has always been operating at the level of a partner and that he taught her everything he knows.
We all struggled to understand why he was okay with being an assistant when he should be a partner.
However, now maybe it all makes sense.
Jona will be her senior associate.
He's loyal. He won't poach her clients and he'll protect her position in the firm. She'll be able to go on maternity leave for as long as she wants if he's the one handling her practice.
Then he'll probably make partner right after she gets back.
It's the most brilliant plan ever.
I contemplated whether or not I should text mom and ask her if I should also start working on a nursery.
After seeing this, I want to do it too. It sounds childish, but I want to be the favourite uncle. That tile can't go to someone else.
I thought about it for a second and then decided against it.
Mom and Belle haven't seen that video. They don't know about Charlie's pregnancy and I guess Charlie doesn't want them to know yet. The least I can do is respect that.
I picked up the picture of the sonogram and took a picture of it with my phone. I can see the shape of an actual baby in there. How bizarre is that?
She's going on runs, exercising, working well into the night and doing her work without skipping a beat all while carrying a whole human being inside of her?
How freaking bizarre and absolutely amazing is that?
"Found the bathroom?" I found Nigel standing infront of the nursery door.
I didn't even hear him walking up the stairs. I was still thinking about the fact that there's an actual baby inside of her and if today's surgery doesn't go well, she and that baby might not make it.
How fucking terrible would that be? They have to be okay.
"Sorry." I smiled awkwardly. "I couldn't help it. The door was open and I just -"
"It's okay." He chuckled and stepped inside the room. "We just started working on it two weeks ago. What do you think?"
The room was essentially bare except for the pictures on the wall of them, Charlie and the baby ... but no Forest.
There were colour schemes on the walls and a number of pictures of the layout of the room and where things like the cupboards and the cott and changing table would be placed.
Clearly a lot of planning has gone into getting the nursery ready.
"I like what I'm seeing so far." I responded and he smiled back.
Jona hated my guts from the moment we met because of how I treated Charlie. Nigel didn't seem to be a fan of me either, but I haven't spent enough time with him to declare without a doubt that he too hates me.
Of course I can't hate him if he actually hates me. He has every right to hate me. I hate myself right now.
What I do know about him is that he is the complete opposite of Jona.
Jona is very analytical. He hates small talk and anything where people have to pretend to be interested in each other's lives.
He just wants to work.
He doesn't want to hear about someone's weekend or talk about golfing and hear about a marathon that someone is preparing for or someone's vacation.
I've seen him try to do these things and although he smiles and nods, I could see his eyes almost spasm in pain while doing these things.
Nigel is different.
He turns small talk into a moment to connect with people. He enjoys talking about his vacations, the things he's training for and his family back in Italy. He has a warmer and much more inviting demeanor than Jona.
He always has a wide smile on his face and always ready to give someone a firm hand shake and ask them with genuine interest about their day. The fact that he's tall, built with a firm stature, dresses well in business casual attire and has olive tanned skin that most people envy, only makes him that much more approachable.
And of course, the Italian accent and thick set of black hair and ocean blue eyes help a lot.
He looks and acts like someone who has only every enjoyed his life and never had a single worry.
"Why did you guys start setting up a nursery though?" I asked him. "My brother's house is big enough for his baby to have her own room, her own study room, her own play room and so many other things."
He dropped his smile and furrowed his brows as if I just asked a ridiculous question.
"Your brother abandoned Char when she need him the most." He replied. "We don't care how big his house is, if he does that again, Jona and I want ot be prepared. Char was ... broken ... last time." He forced the words out of his mouth. "This time, she'll have a baby with her. If your brother comes across another pretty blonde who needs saving, and neglects Char, we will be there to save her. Jona and I will always be there to save her regardless of what woman you and your brother have chosen to replace her with at the time."
The man continued talking about their plans for the nursery as if he didn't just say the most awful thing to me. He even took out his phone and started showing me pictures of all the things they're going to buy.
My brother has only ever loved one woman his entire life and it's her.
He didn't cry when dad died. He didn't start acting up like me or insist on sleeping in mom's bed like Belle.
He didn't skip a beat.
The only time that man cried, broke down and wanted to give up on everything was when Charlie broke up with him.
He didn't want anything or anyone after that. It was honestly like a part of him died and here is this strange Italian man who knows nothing about my brother, claiming that he once abandoned Charlie ... as if he could ever do such a thing.
"You don't get to speak like that about my brother." I warned him. "You can call me shit all you want because I deserve it, but my brother loves Charlie and the nerve you have to suggest that he would EVER abandon her or his child is disgusting. He never dated Lauren, never saw her as anything more than a friend despite how hard she tried to get more out of him and despite how hard I also tried to get them together. He always refused to be anything other than friends with her and even when he did date a woman, he didn't introduce any of those women to me, my mom or my sister. And not that it matters, but none of those women were blonde. So say whatever you want about me, but keep your mouth when it comes to Forest."
He scoffed, folded his arms and gave me a curious look.
"If you tried calling and texting your mother for 75 days non-stop and she didn't answer any of your calls or texts, what would you do?" He asked me out of the blue.
I shrugged.
"I wouldn't go more than 3 days without talking to my mom." I answered him. "But I don't understand why you -"
"What if it was a girlfriend?" He interrupted me. "If you couldn't get hold of your girlfriend for 75 days, wouldn't you maybe start thinking she's dead or that she's in trouble? Would you still think there's a relationship to salvage after going almost three months without talking to your significant other? Oh", he chuckled and raised a ringer, "would you let one of your female friends keep posting pictures of you and her online? Would you still only keep texting and calling your girlfriend even after noticing that she wasn't posting anything?"
Wait.
I took a step back.
These aren't random questions.
He thinks Forest abandoned her back then?
No. He would never.
He was busy.
I was a freshman and he was helping me settle in ... and he had school and all his other commitments ... and Lauren ...
Lauren was a mess back then.
She was failing everything. She was having panic attacks everyday and no therapist or lecturer or medication could help except for Forest. It got so bad that he could hardly go anywhere without her clinging onto him.
He didn't abandon Charlie. He would never do that.
He just ...
He just knew that Lauren needed him more and Charlie ... Charlie never really needed anyone. She could always do it all on her own, but Lauren was never like that. She needed help. She always needed help; a lot of it.
Forest didn't abandon Charlie ... He just ... He didnt see her or speak to her for more than two months because he was busy...
He didn't abandon her.
"That's what I thought." He sighed when I didn't answer. "Char may have been the one to break up with your brother." He nodded. "But he's the one who left her first, Christian. If she had died, she could have been buried a dozen times while your brother just called and texted. If something bad had happened to her, she could have fallen into a coma, gotten out of it and healed without your brother ever finding out. So", he let out another heavy sigh, "forgive me and Jona for being extra cautious when it comes to your brother."
"Wait!" I stopped him just as he was about to leave the room.
He didn't abandon her. He would never do that.
"After their break up, were you and Jona the ones who took care of her?" I heard myself asking.
"Yea." He put his hands in his pocket. "But we didn't do a good job." He admitted.
"Before your brother turned up, we tbought we had things handled. She was starting to resemble a person again, but then came that fateful day. He had the audacity to go on his knees and ask her what he did wrong. She barely weighed a 100 pounds when he finally showed up, her hair had just started to grow again and she still had to wear clothes that covered up her entire body despite how hot it was. He saw that and it still hadn't clicked to him that maybe he Char needed him more than his friend."
"What do you mean?" I asked him."Why did she barely weigh a hundred pounds? What happened to her? Why didn't-"
"Char was starting to do okay before he showed up!" He cut me short angrily. "But then, your brother showed up and undid all the work she did to be okay again. And after he left, there was nothing left of her. He drained any will she had left. So she gave up and because when she does something, she does it to the fullest, she didn't just give up. She started destroying herself like someone was paying her to do it. She became her own enemy and made it her mission to destroy everything she worked so hard for. Jona and I tried to stop her and repair the damage, but Char is good at everything; even breaking herself. It was only when ... certain things came to light that she snapped out of it and got a handle on herself."
"No." I shook my head.
Charlie is strong. She's smart. I doubt she's ever made a mistake in her life.
She wouldn't ever give up.
"What happened to her?" I asked him. "Why would she-"
"I must say I'm impressed that your brother didn't marry Lauren though." He ignored my question again. "I'm also impressed he never touched her. Even a simple kiss with Lauren would have broken Char because Lauren Mitchel and her family have already taken so much away from her."
I couldn't say anything.
They kissed. Forest and Lauren kissed.
That was the first thing that popped in my head.
They kissed at some bar the day before he met up with Charlie. I was drunk, but I took pictures of them kissing because I ... because I thought that was the beginning of their love story.
She pushed herself into his lap and he put his hand around her neck. He ended that kiss after just a few seconds and I could tell he regretted it immediately.
I sent those pictures to Lauren. What if she shows them to Charlie? What if she sends them to her?
"He loves her." I shook away the guilt burning my chest.
How many more times am I going to hurt Charlie? I'm so fucking stupid.
"He loves her so much." I reminded both him and myself. "You and Jona don't need to save Charlie or protect her. That's my brother's job. That's my job because she's my family. That's all there is to it!"
A lump was forming in my throat and my chest just kept burning up.
I kept seeing that kiss.
Charlie shouldn't see those pictures. That kiss meant nothing to him.
"Right." He still sounded unconvinced. "I should head back downstairs. It's almost time to leave."
"Yeah." I breathed out my response.
"Nigel." I called for him before he could leave the room. "I'm assuming you have more sonograms of my niece. Can you please send them to me, along with anything else related to Charlie's pregnancy?"
"Sure." He took his phone. "Char says she trust you and said I should do as you ask. It's essentially a bunch of medical records. Are you sure you want it all?"
"Yeah." I nodded.
"Why?"
I shrugged. "Just humour me."