"I don't associate with dumb people, Char." Jona raised a brow at me. "Love is ... making you dumb."
He let his words linger while he took a sip of red wine from his wine glass.
We were having our weekly catch up session at a restaurant his boyfriend recommended. Nigel, the only man Jona has ever loved, is a chef and he only approves of a number of restaurants. Jona only eats at the restaurants Nigel approves of because he'll throw a fit if Jona dares to eat anywhere else.
"How do you figure?" I asked with a slight smile.
He raised both eyebrows at me, as if my question shocked him. "Well, to start off with, the man tried to replace you with a woman who tried to kill you. As if that's not enough, he spent the past five years shielding her from her mistakes and incompetence and then made her live in his house. Then, just to humiliate you, he made you live under the same roof with this woman; a woman he knows loves him; a woman who tried to kill you..."
He took a bite of his steak and moaned while he chewed.
When he was done chewing, he raised his glass again to take another sip and his eyes peered at me from behind the glass, waiting for me to disagree with what he just said.
"And then you punched her in the face and he made you apologise to her.." He added when I remained quiet. "That man has you eating out of the palm of his hand, Char. If he told you to jump off a building, you'd do it. He's turning you into a fool and you're letting him because you love him."
I started cutting into my food, pretending to be thinking about what he said. I tried taking a bite, but couldn't bring myself to eat.
He's not the first person to notice that the only time when I let someone turn me into a fool is where Forest is concerned. And now the man has seen me cry. It's a miracle that I can still face him after breaking down infront of him.
Fuck.
One thing I never wanted is for Forest to ever pity me or think of me as some lost fostercare kid who needs him to save her. That's not who I am and my parents taught me from very early on that more often than not, I need to save myself. People who wait to be saved are either not in a bad enough situation or they've given up on themselves. Either way, I've always had to save myself, even when Forest was around. I just hid all the ugliness from him so that he would see me as his equal; not as some charity case.
And now I undid all that hard work yesterday by crying infront of a man who probably has dozens of women crying and tripping infront of him, hoping he'll notice them and decide to save them - women like Lauren Mitchell.
"No come back?" He retorted. "Or are you going to tell me you can't live without him...that even if he tells you to jump from a fifteen story building, you'd do it because you trust him to keep you safe?" He scoffed and shook his head. "If he kept his word and came to visit you that day, the Mitchells would have never gotten to you. So much for Prince Charming saving the day."
"He's my Nigel." I shut him right up. "You know how you let Nigel turn you into a fool...well that's what it's like between me and Forest. Now," I sipped my water, "are we done talking about our lovers or is there something else you wanted to add?"
He narrowed his eyes at me and I knew before he even said another word that he was about to go for the kill. We may be best friends, but Jona doesn't believe in hiding one's true feelings from those you care about. If he thinks you're being an idiot, he will tell you and he will not soften his words. He may be mean, but he knows how to make someone confront the truth; especially when they don't want to.
"Nigel would never leave me alone in a hospital for two months while he took care of the very same person who put me in hospital." He replied calmly. "You were in a coma for two weeks and in the hospital for two months and not once did Prince Charming come see you or at least send someone to come help you. He was busy taking care of Lauren's panic attacks, Char. While you were fighting for your life, he was busy cuddling poor Lauren back to health."
I knew this was coming, but that doesn't make it any easier to hear.
I rubbed away that dull ache in my chest that threatened to become a pounding. No matter how much I love Forest, it doesn't change the fact that on the day that he was supposed to come see me, he cancelled out of the blue saying that a friend of his was suddenly having panic attacks.
I was about to respond to his text, but then Brian Kim showed up to my campus in the flesh.
I still remember how I froze when I saw my father. I couldn't understand how he found me or why he came looking for me, but he found me somehow. He's Brian Kim, after all. He got away with starving me, making me sleep outside, beating me, making sure I never got adopted and where he could, ensuring I got placed in the worst fosterhomes. The law can't touch Brian Kim.
But despite all that, I never hated my father. Not until that day.
I still believed that he and my mother were just two young adults who got overwhelmed with having their first kid. I knew my father's family didn't approve of him having a child with a woman who had my mother's dark chocolate skin, so a part of me understood why he would resent me.
I was the reason his family shunned him. Who wouldn't hate me?
So when he claimed he was sorry for everything and that he wanted to make it up to me, I didn't question it; not even for a second.
I took him around campus and to all my favourite places. We laughed, we joked and not once did I ask him why he did the things he did to me growing up. I didn't care about any of it. As long as he was willing to love me like other parents love their kids, how could I question him about the past?
When the day came to an end, he asked to see my dorm room and like the idiot I was, I took him there. I didn't notice how quiet the place was and I didn't notice him locking the door behind him as soon as we entered the room...and I didn't notice the crowbar that was tucked away in his bag.
I chuckled to myself. I really was stupid back then.
It never occurred to me that the Mitchells knew my parents are the only people who can break me...and break me they did.
I turned my attention back to Jona. I couldn't tell if he expected a response out of me. Whatever the case, I wasn't going to him anything.
I could easily mention his troubles with Nigel, like how his boyfriend has tried to kill himself, but I won't. That would just hurt him and unlike him, I wouldn't be mentioning it out of concern. I'd be reminding him of that horrid time just so I could hurt him and I could never hurt Jona.
If he hadn't found me after my father was almost done killing me, I would have been dead.
"Lauren got Lisa to get out of her hole." I decided to get our conversation back on track. "One good thing came from that punch; Lauren ran to her family so they could deal with me like before. Lisa is already trying to stop my promotion. She's approached ten partners already and tried to change their votes. Connor will probably try to help her as soon as he catches wind of it."
He swayed his head from side to side while he chewed his food.
"She's in over her head." He said nonchalantly. "She's been too busy making kids and being the perfect housewife to a man who resents her. If you can't deal with Lisa, then maybe you're not as good as you think. Dealing with Lauren already took you much too long."
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
So far, I know with certainty that four people are responsible for my father finding me - Lawrence Mitchell, Liza Mitchell, Lisa Mitchell and Lauren Mitchell. They each played a part in the incident that ended up with my father beating me with that crowbar in my dormroom and pulling out my hair in the process...and carving long lines across my back and stomach in case I survived what he did to me. So I wouldn't forget that day.
"I was willing to leave Lauren in peace because Forest clearly loved her, but now..."
He chuckled and waved at the waiter.
"More wine, please." He gestured at his glass.
"Even if you decide to forgive Lauren, you should know that I will never forgive her for what she did to you." He chuckled again. "You've isolated her from the man of her dreams, now it's my turn to deal with her. I'm going to destroy that girl, Char." He smiled to himself. "You take care of Lisa and once we're done with them, we'll deal with their parents."
He smirked, but I couldn't muster a smile.
I never realised just how desperate Lauren was to get Forest. I always thought she was a non-issue. She could never do anything for herself so I never bothered protecting myself against her. I didn't factor in that she would go running to her family and that her sister and parents are much crueler than I could ever be.
Everytime I pondered over whose idea it was to make me face my father again, I got stuck between Lisa and Lawrence. They both enjoy seeing people suffer even when they don't deserve it. However, I'm certain it was Lisa's idea. Lawrence would have just made sure I died. Lisa is the one who would enjoy seeing me drop out, try alcohol for the first time in my life and then attempt to drink myself into a coma and live with the reality that I am just too dirty to be with Forest.
She likes putting people in their place and putting a fosterkid who dared to reach for the stars was probably the most fun she's had in a long time.
And I have no doubt she'll try to put me in my place once again.
As much as I hate admitting it, she almost succeeded. For a second I was willing to part with Forest again and even let Lauren go without punishment because I could never hurt someone he loves. After punching Lauren, I was convinced that I was just an unruly animal pretending to be civil infront of others...
But when I cried into his chest and Forest looked at me like my tears pained him as much as they pained me, I knew I couldn't let him go again. He belongs to me and the Mitchells aren't chasing me away again this time.
"Do you know how you're going to deal with Lisa yet?" Jona snapped me out of my thoughts.
"Yeah." I said softly. "I'm going to break up her marriage. I'll make her confront the fact that her husband never loved her and that he regrets choosing her over the love of his life. She'll go running to her parents as soon as she realises that I'm the one behind it all, but it will be too late by then. Justin Odewell will be with the love of his life."
He reached out to touch my hand and smiled. "I hope you don't feel guilty about any of this. Those people deserve what's coming to them."
"I know." I placed my other hand on top of his. "I just hope Forest doesn't hate me once I'm done with them."
He stifled a groan and I could see the anger returning on his face. "If he hates you for getting justice, then he doesn't deserve you, Char."
I forced a tight smile on my lips. Forest knows I'm cruel, but I never want him to know just how cruel I truly am.
"You haven't touched your food." He pointed at my plate with his eyes. "Is something wrong?"
"Yea." I let go of his hand and pushed the plate further away from me. "It smells funny, but I'm not going to complain. I'm not hungry anyway."
He frowned and took a bite out my food.
"It's fine." He replied while chewing. "You probably don't like it because you're pregnant."