I punched her. Of course I punched her. Of all the things I could have done, why did I have to punch her?
It felt as if everything was moving in slow motion.
Forest rushed to Lauren's side while she cried like a child. She was on the floor with blood trickling from the pores surrounding her eye. It's only been a few seconds, but anyone can tell that that eye will be swollen and blue in no time.
I felt my legs taking a few steps backwards while servants rushed to go help Lauren. Some had ice packs, one had a first aid kit and someone else was already calling a doctor.
They were all rushing to help the lady of the house after some beast of a woman hurt her.
That's right. Lauren is the lady of the house and I'm the woman who keeps imposing.
I almost stumbled when my back collided with a hard chest.
I turned to find Christian's brown eyes looking at me with nothing but contempt and resentment. I study with this kid six hours every day after work, but he only ever looks at me like I'm some heartless, cold hearted creature.
I'm helping him manage the work load, I'm showing him the easiest way to study as a law student, I'm helping him reach his goals and yet all he sees is some monster.
And maybe I am ... Maybe I'm a monster. No normal person would hurl a punch at someone.
"You're going to pay for this." He clenched his jaw. "I'll make sure she takes this to the police and then the world will know just how merciless you are Charlotte."
He expected me to be scared. I could tell.
He was sneering like he just caught a prey that's alluded him for years. It shocked me just how much this boy whom I've only ever cared for hated me.
Chrissie was an unruly child with too much anger and energy. It spilled out in the form of physical altercations and no matter what his mom or Forest did, it didn't help much. When I saw him in a fight at school, I recognised that anger...that pain. I carried it too. I just pretended not to so everyone could think that I can be normal too.
I was the one who taught Chrissie how to channel all that rage. I forced him to join all the clubs I was in. He destroyed people in debate, Model UN, Public speaking and so many other things. I trained him myself, made sure he could take over all those clubs after I left. I paved the way for him to be able to go to any school he wanted all because I taught him how to direct his rage.
Not once did I receive a thank you from this kid. To him I was always the dirty foster kid who never knew her place. And instead of perhaps evoking respect or admiration within him, all my achievements seemed to confirm what he always thought of me - that I am an unruly heartless monster.
I felt a smile creeping up on my face. An evil smirk that's taken years to become second nature to me. I am and will always be Charlotte Ericsson. No one here will ever see me scared.
"Nothing is going to happen to me, Christian." I whispered in his ear. "Lauren won't go to the police and you won't finally get to take down Charlotte Ericsson like you've always dreamt."
I chuckled and suddenly the frantic scene of people trying to help the wounded princess, went quiet.
I turned to face Lauren, who was now sitting in a pool chair and Forest, who was kneeling beside her.
It sickened me seeing this. It sickened me hearing Forest tell me, a full grown woman, to apologise. He spoke to me like I'm some child he needs to control, like I'm a foster kid who doesn't know how normal people resolve conflict, as if my very job isn't to resolve conflict.
He was holding her hand like she's a wounded cub. The man I love, a man who convinced me to live with his mistress under the same roof, was now holding his so called friend as if she was his lover that needed protection ... from me.
He's turned me into a fool and I keep letting him because I know deep down Lucas Greyson wants to punish me. He resents me, hates me...he'll never love me again and why should he? I'm so broken, so tainted, so fucking dirty that I disgust myself.
I took what felt like giant leaps towards the perfect couple. The knight in shining armour with dark blonde hair and deep green eyes. He's as tall as can be and of course his body is encased in muscles causing him to be the envy of so many. And next to him the dainty, small framed blonde woman with baby blue eyes that are always filled with tears. She needs him to protect her and he'll always be there to protect her.
They're perfect for each other.
"Lauren here won't go to the police", I tried my best not to tremble at the sight before me, "because if she does, I'll tell her precious Lucas why I punched her."
She gulped while her lips trembled and tears streamed down her face.
Of course she's crying. If there's one thing this girl knows how to do, is cry.
"Or....", my oh so wicked smile widened, "I will come after her father's empire and tear it down brick by brick until he doesn't have a penny to his name. I will ruin the Mitchell name for eternity. And I know you know that's not an empty threat, Lauren."
She didn't have a chance to respond. Her Knight in shining armour responded on her behalf.
"That's enough, Charlie!" Forest stood up and started walking towards me.
She whimpered when he let go of her hand. She still needed him because she can't do a damn thing for herself.
There was none of the usual love and adoration in his eyes. He looked at me the way he looked the day he found me fighting another girl on the playground in third grade. He wasn't there to hear her call me the vilest slur someone could call a girl whose mother is of African descent and father of Asian descent. He looked at me like I didn't belong with them.
And here he is now with that same look in his eyes.
"You hit her." He looked at me with disappointment in those dark green eyes of his. "Why, Charlie? Why would you do that?"
They were all staring at me. Him, Christian, the servants and Lauren. Her eyes were begging me not to tell him what happened. She needs to remain the clean and untainted princess, while I'm the dirty, evil witch who will stop at nothing to get what she wants.
And now, even Forest ... my Forest... looked at me like there was just no saving me.
I've known that all along, but I hoped and prayed that he would never realise that I'm not worth saving.
I almost reached out for his face, but I stopped myself because I knew he would slap my hand away. The words were stuck in my throat. I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to know that this is why no one but him has seen me naked. It's because I know he's so kind, so saint-like, that he has no problem kissing scars that remind me of what I'll always be. And now Lauren has seen those scars. Now she knows how broken I am.
I wanted to tell him, but every word just choked me. It refused to come out no matter how hard I tried.
I was drowning ... I am drowning and I can't even shout for help.
Someone help me. Please. Anyone.
"We can find all that out later." I heard the voice of a saviour behind me. She put her soft hands on both of my shoulders and I almost burst into tears. I could breathe again.
"Charlie", Mrs Greyson squeezed my shoulders and brushed her cheeck against mine while she stood behind me, "Let's get you girls out of the sun."
My hand instinctively went to touch hers.
I refused to let go of that hand. She didn't know it, but she just pulled me out of something that was threatening to suffocate me to death.
How the fuck did I end up punching Lauren?
We stepped inside the house and Mrs Greyson now had her arm wrapped around my shoulders. I was leaning into her, trying my best not to drop my facade. I just focused on taking one step at a time. That's all I could do...just take one step at a time.
I hit someone. I hit Lauren.
I haven't hit someone in years...how the hell did this happen?
"Don't worry about it too much, Charlie." Belle came in with a much needed hug. "Lauren will be fine."
I mustered a smile while we hugged.
Belle and her mom always smell so warm and so kind. They smell like home.
They would never, ever punch someone. Not a single person here would punch someone. Only I would do that. I'm the odd one out.
"Thanks, Belle." I feigned a chuckle. "Enough about Lauren. I want to hear all about you. I want to hear about that new teacher who's always rude to you. Did you do as I said?"
She and her mom hauled me to their suite. What followed was hours of the three of us laughing, exchanging gifts, reminiscing, me showing them how to get discounts on everything and anything and them insisting that they want to come see my place.
Not once in those few hours did Forest come to check up on me.
We spoke about everything, except what just happened with Lauren and what happened five years ago. It remained that way for the few hours we were together, until Mrs Greyson decided we had done enough laughing for the day.
"Are you okay?" She asked while caressing my cheeck. "I know you hate talking about your feelings, Charlie. You think being human makes you look weak. It doesn't and you can talk to us", she gestured to her and Belle, "about anything. Just like you did...back then."
I looked at both of them.
It was getting harder and harder to hide. Each second was now torturous. I couldn't ignore the ache in my chest anymore and I couldn't breathe anymore. I need to get out of here.
"I know." I held both their hands. "It's just...hard." I managed to say. "The words get stuck in my throat everytime I try to...."
"That's okay." Belle smiled. "You'll talk to us when you're ready. I know that-"
We were disturbed by an aggressive knock at the door. Before we could respond, Christian pushed it open and the first thing he did once he saw the scene before him was to snarl at me.
"Dinner is ready." He gritted through his teeth. "Lucas and Lauren will be joining us in a bit. They're still at the doctor."
Those words hit me like a train. My chest was sinking into me and threatening to sink me with it.
I kept my facade, but I needed to get out of there.
I waited for his mom and sister to grab the few things they wanted to take before we headed down.
"You'll be happy to know that Lauren won't be pressing any charges." He snarled at me while I waited. "She says it's because she doesn't want to hurt Lucas, but we all know it's because you threatened her. You're such a bitch!"
SMACK!
None of us saw that coming.
Mrs Greyson slapped Christian right infront of us.
"Mom!" He held his cheeck. "Why?"
"Because you are a disrespectful and ungrateful little brat!" She scolded him. "This is not the boy I raised, Christian. I taught you to be kind, well tempered and respectful. I haven't seen an ounce of that since I arrived in this hell hole of a city!"
He was breathing heavily, still holding on to the cheeck that got slapped.
"If your family's money is turning you into this whiny child then I will cut you off, Chrissie." She said calmly. "If this city is poisoning your heart, then I will drag you back home." She grabbed his face with her delicate hands and stood a few inches from his face. "Whatever is turning you into such an insufferable man needs to be severed from you!"
When she let go of his face, we could still see the red marks her fingers left on his jaw and her handprint on his cheeck.
He was glaring at me as she and Belle walked passed him.
Of course he's going to blame me for this as well. I just can't catch a break with this kid.
We got downstairs and the dinner the servants prepared truly did look great. The dining room was decorated for the occasion and they were all too excited to show me how well they followed my recipes and decorating instructions.
It looked amazing, but Forest and his mistress weren't here to see any of it.
"Ms Ericsson", one of the maids approached me, "do you like it? Everything you suggested turned out great!"
"I love it!" I hugged her and proceeded to congratulate her colleagues.
They never treated me like an outsider. Unlike Lauren and Christian who made it their mission to make me understand that I'll never be one of them, the people who work in this house never needed me to prove my worth to them.
"Ms Ericsson helped us prepare each meal served tonight." The head chef announced. "She's quite the cook."
Belle and Mrs Greyson smiled at me while Chrissie rolled his eyes.
I mustered a fake smile as the staff left the dining room and everyone started digging in.
"I should get going." I said as I made my way to the door. "I just got an email about a work emergency and I need to go see what's happening."
"Are you sure?" Mrs Greyson asked and tried to follow me. "We just got here, Charlie. Can't it wait? Let's have dinner together."
I shook my head and tried my best to ignore what was now a constant pounding ache in my chest. It was tearing me apart.
Forest not being here, him consoling Lauren, the way he looked at me, the way Christian keeps looking at me, my scars, what Lauren said about my scars, me punching Lauren... It was too heavy to bear. I spent hours laughing and smiling, pretending to be okay, but I just couldn't anymore. I was about to burst open.
I hit someone today.
I spent years trying to convince myself that I'm normal just like everyone else, but today I proved that I'm not. And I proved that I don't belong here with Forest. It's been five years. I took too long and now I've lost him...but then again, a guy like Forest could never be with someone like me.
He's him and I'm me...I'm broken and I break everyone I touch.
I broke Lauren.
"It's a really huge emergency." I lied. "I'm really sorry, Mama Grey!"
Belle ran to the door and they both hugged me before I left.
When I turned my back to them to head to the car, I had no idea how long that journey would be. Each step I took felt torturous. I felt like I would crumble to the floor and they'd all see just how weak I truly am.
I wanted to shout for Joshua to come get me when I saw him already standing next to the car. I wanted to run to him, but I could still feel Belle and her mom's eyes on me.
His expression changed once I got closer. He could see that I wasn't going to make it.
He ran to me without arousing any suspicion. The man is kind and also brilliant at his job. He knows he's needed without me needing to utter a word.
"One step at a time, Ms Ericsson." He locked his arm in mine. "We're almost there. Just a few more steps."