"Liz, I promise you none of this is your fault. It was Jerry who held you hostage to try and lure Mathew. It was the witches who captured Mathew and it was the witches who revived Raphael. You didn't do any of this. You need to stop blaming yourself for every bad thing that happens to Mathew!"
Mike was visibly getting increasingly exhausted by my theory that I'm the source of all the bad luck that Mathew was experiencing. I was pacing up and down in the sitting room after we all heard that shocking announcement from Orion.
I have been keeping my distance from Mathew for the past 2 weeks. I've always had a feeling that his life was falling apart because of me, but I didn't want to entertain those thoughts in the past. It would have meant that I had to stop being friends with him and that was nearly impossible to do.
However, after he told me what he really thought of me, it's the only thing I've been thinking about. No matter how much I try to deny it, it just makes sense. Since meeting me, his life has been one disaster after the other.
"I don't know, Mike. Something tells me I had something to do with this." I was pacing the room faster and biting away at my nails.
Mike stood up and held my shoulders in place.
"Look, it's good that you're keeping your distance from the guy because he's a jerk and doesn't deserve a friend like you. But you shouldn't be keeping your distance just because you think you're making his life fall apart. You should do it because a person who cares about you would never say those terrible things about you."
He was right. I mean, I'm still angry at Mathew, but the biggest reason I've been avoiding him is to try and protect him. I thought he would have left the pack and gone back to his life by now, but something has been keeping him here. If he left, maybe I could stop jinxing his life.
"I know I sound like a crazy person, Mike but I can't shake this feeling that I'm the one who has caused all these bad things to happen to him. It may sound strange, but I'm telling you that's gotta be it!"
Mike groaned and threw his arms in the air.
"Hey Elizabeth, can I talk to you?" It was Audrey. She was standing by the sitting room entrance and looked like she had been crying. Considering everything that's happened today, I wasn't surprised that it was taking an emotional toll on her.
I went to her and gave her a hug.
"Of course, Audrey. Are you okay?", I asked her as we sat down.
Mike stood up to leave, but Audrey stopped him.
"Mike, you should stay. What I'm about to tell you may potentially involve you as well."
Mike sat down on one of the couches. I was sitting next to Audrey and holding her hand.
"Elizabeth", Audrey started, I had a vision about you. It wasn't good."
"What did you see, luna?", Mike asked her.
"I had a vision of you and Mathew, Elizabeth. In the vision, everytime you two were together, everything around you started rotting and decaying. However, when you were apart things around you started growing and thriving."
"What?", I was so shocked that I even let go of her hand. She moved closer to me.
"Elizabeth you and Mathew can't be together. The reason you both lost your reputations, your jobs and why your lives fell apart is because you entered each other's lives. You need to be as far apart from each other as you possibly can."
All I could do was stare at the wall. It's one thing to think you're a jinx, but it's another for someone to actually confirm it.
"The stakes are much higher now, Elizabeth. The entire magical world is at stake. You can't be with him." Audrey was looking at me with eyes filled with tears and pity.
I just continued staring at the wall.
I've had this gut wrenching feeling ever since I met Mathew. I've felt like I was the reason why his life was falling apart. I couldn't explain it, but now Audrey was confirming something I had been trying to deny since meeting Mathew. His life was falling apart because I was in it.
I struggled to respond to her. There was a big lump in my throat and I just couldn't swallow it. I just continued staring at the wall in front of me. This couldn't be happening.
"Liz, are you okay"? Mike was kneeling infront of me and clutching at my hands. I could feel Audrey's hand on my arms.
"Liz, please answer me. Are you okay?" I heard Mike raise his voice.
"Just give her some time, Mike. This is a lot for anyone to take in."
"I knew it." My voice was barely a whisper. "I fucking knew it."
I looked at Audrey and Mike. Their eyes were filled with so much pity, but I didn't deserve it. My presence alone was tormenting Mathew. I didn't deserve their pity.
I could tell from Audrey's eyes that she had more bad news. She was about to tell me to do something that would go against the very fibre of my soul. I just knew it.
"You're going to tell me to leave, aren't you?"
Audrey slowly nodded her head while wiping away her tears.
"What? No! Tell that ass-hat Mathew to leave. Luna, if Liz leaves then I'm leaving with her!", Mike said with a roar.
Audrey stood up to try and calm him down.
"Mathew will find his place in the magical world right here, but Elizabeth if you don't leave, you'll never find out who you truly are. The Moon and Sun Godess have big plans for you, but they require you to leave."
Mike's breaths were quick and shallow and Audrey was stroking his hand to try and calm him down.
I was still staring at the wall. My body was numb. I was numb to the core.
"When am I supposed to leave?", I finally said breaking the agonising silence in the room.
Audrey sat back down next to me.
"You need to leave as soon as the golden path appears again. It will guide you to where you need to be."
I just nodded my head. Tears trickled down my face. I hadn't even noticed them.
"Luna, I'm sorry, but I can't let her go out there alone. Please, I need to go with her. I know that I am the beta, but I can't let Liz leave alone. I'm afraid I have to step down as beta of the Black Claw pack."
Hearing Mike say this, snapped me out of my catatonic state.
"No! No, Mike. You will do no such thing. I am going alone. I will be fine!" I was looking at him with desperation in my eyes. I couldn't let him step down as the beta of an entire pack just because of me. I've already ruined Mathew's life. I couldn't do the same thing to Mike.
Audrey stood up and looked at Mike.
"Mike, I was told by the godess that you would react this way. "I, luna Audrey Ashwood, luna of the Black Claw pack hereby absolve you, Michael Anderson, of your position and duties as beta of the Black Claw pack."
Mike clutched at his chest for a second and then seemed to return back to normal.
"Mike, please don't do this", I said through my sobs. "I'm not worth your beta position, Mike. Please don't do this! Audrey, give him his title back!"
Audrey drew me in for a hug.
"I know this is hard, and I know there's a lot you don't understand right now, but the golden path will lead you back to us one day. You can't do this alone, so you need to let Mike help you. He cares for you and will help you so much on your journey."
Audrey and I were both crying.
"I don't want to leave Mathew", I said in a whisper that even I could barely hear. "I love him."
"I know you do. We can all tell you love him, but you have to let him go. I know you can feel it too, Elizabeth. You and Mathew can't be together", Audrey whispered back to me through her tears.
I released myself from our hug, but I couldn't stop the sobbing. It's like the moment I started crying for Mike, my body remembered that I hadn't reacted to the revelation that I was the one causing all the bad things in Mathew's life. I was crying uncontrollably and I just couldn't stop.
I love Mathew. I love him and I don't want to live without him. I need him. I want him.
Mike drew me in for a hug and ran his fingers through my hair.
"I'm so sorry, Liz. I know it will be just the two of us, but I promise you we're going to have the time of our life. You'll be okay. I promise."
Audrey joined our hug and I could hear her muffled cries.
After what seemed like an eternity, we ended our hug. I had finally stopped crying. Mike was just able to calm me down somehow. Whenever I needed to ease up a little, it's like he releases a wave of calm that gets me to think straight and look past my emotions. He has helped me manage my episodes.
"We should go pack our bags", Mike finally said.
I started following him out of the sitting room, but Audrey stopped me.
"You go ahead, Mike. I just want to finish saying goodbye to Elizabeth."
She sat us back down on the couch.
"You can't tell Mathew about this vision. He won't understand and he will try to convince you to stay or insist on leaving with you."
I gave her a confused and angry look.
"So I can't even say goodbye to him? Audrey, he's my best friend!"
"I know! And I know this is so unfair, but he can't know the reason why you're leaving."
I held my head in my hands.
"I can't believe I was right. Audrey, I've had this feeling since I met Mathew. I can't believe I was actually right."
She held my hand.
"I promise you we'll see each other again. You're like a sister to me. You'll come back to us when the time is right."