Two Hours Later
"Well shit." I stare out at the rapidly expanding large fields of grass that are replacing the cold snow on the ground. "So much for a superweapon. I think I just killed an ecosystem. That's a new one."
I turn back to the pedestal that the Hexagonal Crystal went into. I'm ignoring the tall imposing reflective constructs that rose in the air as I put the key in its hole.
"What kind of an idiot builds a giant heater?" I scoff out as I twist the Hexagonal Crystal in reverse and remove it. "This would kill the country, such and extreme climate change would kill off practically all the wildlife. Not to mention how much ice it would melt, that could raise the oceans up a lot and kill off any coastal town or port. Hell this could be a world effecting thing, I bet that climates all over the world would change if such a massive cold spot became a warm one. Cuz that wouldn't fuck anything up at all."
The constant hum of the machine fades as it shuts down.
"Now, time for the real question." I crush the Hexagonal Crystal in my hand, turning it to dust so no idiot can turn the heater back on. "How the hell am I getting back to Oto?"
~You could swim?~
"Fuck that." I shiver at the idea of doing that. "Fuck that sideways with a rusty shovel that's been dipped in dirty swamp water then sprinkled with just a dash of red peppers."
~How do you come up with those things?~
"You don't wanna know."
In Konoha, Danzo's Livingroom
The feeble old man with a cane is pouring a cup of steaming tea. This is something that he rarely has time for nowadays, simply enjoying a cup of tea by himself. Running an underground branch of ANBU is a lot more time consuming than people realize. While maintaining the secrecy of the entire unit on top of that? The Elder has almost no time to himself so moments like these are rare. Very rare indeed.
Which is why he's in a very foul mood because before him kneeling on the floor of his living room is a ROOT shinobi.
"Explain your presence here." Danzo places his displeasure to the side for the moment. He will hear what his subordinate has to say before jumping to conclusions or doling out punishment.
"You wished to be immediately informed of anything about a specific rouge shinobi." The kneeling masked ROOT member emotionlessly says to his commander. "We have found something… disturbing."
The shinobi falls silent, waiting for Danzo's permission to continue.
"So Alvarcus Mar has come out of the shadows." Danzo takes a sip of the still steaming tea, nearly scorching his mouth in the process. That's okay though, this is when he thinks the tea is the best. "Orochimaru has let you off your leash. Continue, leave nothing out."
"Of course Danzo-sama." The shinobi continues in his emotionless tone. "We believe he's behind the recent destruction of the Kusa outpost."
"Interesting." Danzo takes another sip of his tea. "The Kusa survivors did not see their assailant. What new piece of information do you have that makes you think Alvarcus was involved?"
"It's an intercepted letter from a bounty station sir." The shinobi reaches into one of his many pockets and pulls out a plain looking letter. "Three bounty hunters were following Alvarcus, to attempt to claim his bounty, and witnessed him use a… forgive the vagueness but the letter gets unclear. They witnessed him use a combination jutsu and black monsters that came out of his back to hurl flaming boulders at the Kusa base."
"That matches the description from the Kusa survivors exactly." Danzo places his tea down on the coffee table next to his chair. "I take it they incurred losses? The Hunters."
"No." The shinobi answers Danzo's question. "They ran away, Alvarcus never pursued them."
"How peculiar." Danzo falls silent for a few moments, attempting to figure out something. "He had to know they were there. Why spare them and let them report what they witnessed? Sloppy. Very Sloppy. Unless… he wanted witnesses. Perhaps he wants to make a name for himself? No, he's already done that. He's becoming well known throughout the shinobi world from his past feats. So why? Why would he… no not him. Orochimaru. Orochimaru must have ordered it. Ah! Orochimaru used him to make a statement. Now I see, that's just like that slimey traitor. This is intended to send a message to the rest of the world to leave Oto alone or face destruction. Orochimaru has no need to build himself up more, so instead he's showing the world that it's not just him to fear. He has another shinobi capable and willing to cause mass destruction. Clever, very clever."
"Orders sir?" The shinobi asks. "We can deploy a retrieval team immediately. They will not rest until he's found and brought before you."
"No." Danzo dismisses. "I won't waste my own resources on such a small chance. Not only is Alvarcus deadly, more so than I expected, he is also under Orochimaru's protection ninety nine percent of the time. Instead I will let other pawns bring him in for me."
"I am sorry Danzo-sama, but I don't understand what it is you want me to do." The shinobi says to the old man.
"Nothing. You will do nothing." Danzo pockets the letter and rises up off his chair. "However I need to go speak to the Hokage. One of our missing nin needs an updated Bingo Book page."
"You better have a damn good reason for coming into my office unannounced." Tsunade growls at one of the Three Elders. This one is her least favorite.
"Of course." Danzo takes a seat even though Tsunade didn't offer one to him. "As much as I loathe to admit it you are the Hokage. I would not deprive Konoha of her Hokage without good reason."
"Just spit it out already." Tsunade says without bothering to hide her displeasure of the man before her.
"Straight to business then." Danzo sighed in discontent. "Do you agree that the shinobi behind the Kusa base's destruction should be considered S-rank?"
"Hell no!" Tsunade snarls out in rage. "He doesn't deserve the satisfaction of becoming S-rank! The only way I'll make Alvarcus S-rank is if he assaults Konoha alone and escapes!"
"You knew it was Alvarcus?" Danzo asks before he can think better of it. It is never good to display weakness.
"Of course I knew!" Tsunade shouts at the old man. "Now if that's all then get out of my office!"
"Tsunade shouldn't we-"
"I am your Hokage." Tsunade growls out at the Elder. "You will refer to me as such."
"Hokage-sama." Danzo says without displaying a lick of discomfort. "Shouldn't we at least raise his bounty?"
"No shit I'm raising his bounty he destroyed an entire base with one jutsu!" Tsunade shouts at him. "Now get out of my damn office and quit wasting my time!"
"Of course." Danzo rises up. It's not exactly what he was hoping for but with a larger bounty on his head the more skilled Hunters will go after him. He'll settle for this.
Danzo hobbles out of the room, leaving Tsunade alone.
"Playing it a bit close to the chest, aren't we?" Shikaku steps out of the shadows that he masked himself in to take the seat that Danzo recently vacated. "I told you about Alvarcus' role only minutes ago."
"But he doesn't know that." Tsunade sends a glare at the door. "I love getting one up on that man. There's something about him that sets me on edge. Tell me again how you found out about that?"
"Ibiki was at the bar that the Hunter team went to. They were in the process of drinking themselves to death while talking about what they saw. He overheard them then when he got back he told me. Then I told you. Tada."
"And why was Ibiki in a bar near the border between Konoha and Oto?" Tsunade asks her Jonin Commander.
"Dunno. Probably looking for some poor Oto shinobi to try out new torture techniques on." Shikaku shrugs. "I didn't ask for specifics. He was on vacation."
"We do vacations?" Tsunade asks in surprise and a glimmer of hope. "Can I-"
"Hokages don't get a vacation." Shikaku denies.
"How unfortunate." Tsunade smiles down vindictively at Shikaku. "I believe your workload just doubled for the next month."
"Whatever. At least I can take a vacation later."
One Day Later
"Sup guys." I nonchalantly nod at the two gate guards to the main base hidden in the Land of Sound. I'm back at the first base, the one with the Pit. The one where it all began. I'm not here on official business though, this is a personal detour. I have the time now so I figured why not? No idea when I'll get another chance like this.
"Busy day?" I stop to make some small talk with them both.
"Who the hell are you?" The left guard immediately goes extremely alert and leaps into a combat stance.
"How the hell did you find this base? Talk or die!" The right guard mimics the left.
"Oh. Uh. You two don't know me?" I ask while trying to be as non threatening as possible. "I knew Orochimaru-sama keeping me and Sasuke hidden would be a bad idea. Golly gee this is awkward. Golly gee? The fuck did that come from?"
"Who the hell are you?" The left one asks again. He also draws a wicked looking katana and points it at me menacingly. "I will not ask a third time."
"Whoa!" I placatingly wave like I'm actually threatened by him. Basically I want him to stay calm and not swing at me. If he swings then he gets knocked on his ass but that would send the wrong message. "Okay okay! You both know how Orochimaru-sama has two students that he kept hidden away from the masses?"
I get two swift nods of confirmation.
"Cool. That makes this easier. I'm one of them. Alvarcus Mar at your service." I do a sweeping bow before the shinobi just because I can.
"Bullshit." The left one scoffs out. "We've heard the stories about him. You're nothing like him, he's something else entirely. Hand crafted by Orochimaru-sama himself to be viciously brutal at the slightest provocation. Also he's insane. Certifiably off his rocker. Totally looney."
"Uh what?" I ask in confusion. "But I'm me? And fuck you asshole I'm right here! Don't call me crazy you're crazy!"
"Alright kid." The right guard speaks up. "If you're the big bad Alvarcus then prove it."
"Okay." I shrug in indifference. "What do you two wanna see?"
"A spider." The right guard asks.
"One of your monsters." The left one asks. "Show both then you've proven your identity. Fail to do so… and we'll toss you somewhere dark and scary with real monsters."
"No thanks, I didn't particularly enjoy my two month stint in the Pit." I slowly go through hand signs for the Summoning Jutsu. "Summoning Jutsu!"
POOF
"Alvarcus?" One massive hairy leg steps out of the even more massive cloud of smoke. Those assholes wanted to see a spider? Well I'm showing them a spider! Not just any spider, the Mother of Spiders herself! "Oh hello! Are those two my prey? It's been so very long since I've hunted a capable human, they make you work so hard for it! That's alright, it makes victory that much sweeter."
"Holy shit." The two guards share a nervous look. Suddenly they're afraid.
SQUELCH
"HOLY SHIT!" They needlessly repeat as my water monster stands protectively behind me.
"So… yeah." I casually pat Arachne on one of her legs like she's an overgrown puppy and not… well… a humongous spider of epic proportions. "You done goofed."
"A-A-A-Alvarcus-sama!" Both guards stutter out while staring at me with a new emotion: fear.
"Forgive us!" The left one graciously bows to me. "We didn't know it was you!"
"Please spare us!" The right one bows as well. "We were only following procedure! It was not intended as a slight against you!"
"Oh shut up already. I'm not going to get mad at you for doing your job. Idiots." I pull my water monster back into me as Arachne is looking around in confusion.
"So I'm not here to fight?" The spider asks me as six of her eight eyes focus on me. The other two are keeping tabs on the suddenly cowed shinobi. "Why is it that whenever you summon me it's never to go to battle? I want to stretch my legs too you know! And I've got way more than you that need stretching! I am not just some show piece to scare your foes!"
"Sorry?" I meekly offer an apology to her. "It's just your good at that and I don't like putting any of the Spiders in harm's way. I like you all too much."
"You're impossible to stay mad at." Arachne sighs out. "Just give me someone to fight next time."
"You got it!" I flash her a thumbs up then she vanishes into a cloud of smoke. "Whew! I didn't know she felt that way! So we cool? I can go in right?"
"Y-yes! Yes of course! Please enjoy your stay!"
"Awesome!" I casually walk past the guards and enter the base. "Oh and one question. Is Kabuto here?"
"N-no. He has been away for months."
"Pity. I wanted to rip off a limb or two." I make my way deeper into the base. "Orochimaru-sama said I can't kill him but he never forbid me from extreme maiming or dismemberment! Yay for loopholes!"
The door closes behind me.
"We're… alive still?" The right guard asks the left in confusion.
"We must have gotten lucky. You heard him at the end right? He wants to kill Kabuto - one of the best shinobi in Oto - and Orochimaru-sama had to tell him no. That means he can kill Kabuto."
"We fucked up. Do you think he'll remember us?"
"God I hope not."
"Nice guys those guards." I mutter to myself as I appear to be wandering aimlessly through the base. Except I'm not, I'm following a specific set of directions that Shirokumo gave me. There's something here I want but I didn't know exactly where it was so he found it for me. "Pity I didn't get their names, I've gotta mess with them more."
I round a corner to stroll down a hallway with numerous doors. It looks exactly like most hallways here with only one exception. There's no one else in this hallway.
That's because this is Orochimaru's own hallway, each room has been crafted to suit a specific need of the Snake Sannin. Only those who have permission, vitally important news or a death wish venture down this hallway. It doesn't matter if he's here or not, no one is ever 100% sure he's gone.
So which of the three does that make me?
I certainly don't have permission to be here but I doubt he'd care since it's me. Though if he knew exactly why I am here then he would most definitely care. Oh well not my problem, he's over at the Northern Base. Or just not here, sensing for the win!
Nor do I have vitally important news. Doubly so because if I did I'd haul ass back to where he's actually at and not make this detour.
Guess that means I have a death wish. Considering what I'm about to take it's not even that unrealistic of a concept.
"Here we are." I stop before an unmarked door. "Ladies and gentlemen what's behind door number one? You're options are A: A brand new car! B: A brand new torture device to make those deserving scream out in anguish! C: A severed hand that has started to decompose yet has a ring on it!"
I swing open the door to reveal it's contents.
"Or I'm off by one." I look at the… closet. "I've opened up a cleaning closet. Whoops."
I move over a door.
"Right. Let's try that again. Same options." I swing open this door. "And our winner is C: A severed hand with its very own ring! And the crowd goes wild!"
The sound of a cricket chirping echoes down the hallway.
"Thank you, thank you! Please hold the applause!" I stride into the room and smoothly slide the ring off of the little finger. Then I pull out a plain silver ring that I acquired off of one of my foes and slide it back on the finger. Only under close observation will someone notice the switch.
I hold up the innocent looking ring to see it in better lighting.
"Yeah that totally needs a washing." A flake of decomposing skin falls off the ring and floats down to the ground. "Very vigorous washing. Is there bleach in this world?"
~I thought you weren't going to join the Akatsuki?~
"It's nice to have options." I pocket the ring for now, once it's clean I'll find a better spot for it. Maybe it'll join the scroll that's in my forearm, the one that counts down Oto's destruction. "Plus if I have the ring then no one else can, it limits the Akatsuki even more. It will keep them from gaining a new member that I have no knowledge on. Either way I come out on top."
~Very cunning. Very cunning indeed.~