On the Blimp
"Fuck that was a bad idea." I thankfully breached the ship in a storage room. The only stuff in here is wooden crates. Or what used to be wooden crates, now it's scrap wood and splinters because I broke them. "Never doing that again. NEVER!"
I dust myself off and make my way to the door. It's time to cause glorious mayhem until I find Koyuki. It's going to be so much fun!
"Why the hell is the door locked?" I mutter to myself as I jiggle the handle. It's not budging at all. "Better question: why did I even try it in the first place? I'm here to make a statement."
With a deafening bang I kick the door. Said door goes flying off it's hinges and crashes into the other side of the hallway. It causes quite the ruckus, the loud noise echoes throughout the entire blimp.
Good. I've got a Princess to find.
The instant I step out into the hallway I'm confronted by four shinobi, they must have been the closest bunch and came to investigate.
"Who the hell are you?" One of them rudely shouts at me while brandishing a kunai. The other three shinobi all also fall into a combat stance, one draws a sword, another preps for a jutsu and the last draws two kunai. "And how did you get onboard?"
"Where's Koyuki?" I ask my own question in return with an air of nonchalance about me.
"Like we would tell you!" The sword wielding shinobi shouts at me.
"Surrender or die!" The two kunai wielding shinobi demands.
"Alright." I roll my shoulders in preparation for what is about to happen. I don't really need to warm up at all I just think it has a nice added visual effect. "So I've turned over a new leaf so to speak. I've made a promise to myself to be less violent and be more humane when I deal with people. So here's what's going to happen, either you tell me where Koyuki is or I kill all but one of you. The one I spare will then run away and tell everyone what just happened and that will cause the rest of the shinobi on this blimp to swarm me. And then we rinse and repeat until someone cracks and tells me where Koyuki is. How about we skip all that and one of you mans up and tells me what I want to know?"
"Yeah and I want your big titted blonde Hokage to blow me! But neither of those things are going to happen!" The original shinobi that shouted at me shouts at me yet again. "I know your kind, you all talk a big game but you don't have the balls to follow through!"
"Oh you poor ignorant fool." I with a large amount of faked sadness and disappointment. "The other shinobi are from Konoha. I'm from Otogakure. There's just a minor difference between the two."
"What?" The dual kunai wielder intelligently says.
"Now who to spare?" I tap my chin with my index finger as I analyze each of the four shinobi before me. "You that hasn't talked yet, jutsu boy, it's not because you can't talk is it?"
"I do not speak because there is no point to." The shinobi who is still holding the final hand sign for his jutsu says. "It does not matter where you are from, you either surrender or die."
"Oh I like you!" I clap my hands together with a radiant smile on my face. "So will you kindly allow a soon to be dead man one final question in life?"
"I will, ask it." The jutsu wielder humors me, hell all of the shinobi here are humoring me. They think that I'm stalling while trying to come up with a plan. Unfortunately for them I've already wrapped them in one.
"Thanks! You're a nice guy, don't forget that. Here's my question, what's the opposite of push?"
"Pull?" The jutsu wielder says but it comes out more as a question than an answer. He can't fathom why I asked that specific question.
"Correct!" I lift up my left arm and point it at the four shinobi. "The answer is pull!"
I yank my arm away from them and three shinobi fall slack as their heads drop dully to the ground. Brilliant rivulets of crimson blood splatter out of each severed neck, forever staining the once pristine hallway.
"So." I turn my full attention to the one remaining shinobi, it's the jutsu wielder. "This is the part where you run away and get reinforcements. Pissing yourself is optional but highly encouraged."
The shinobi doesn't do that, instead his arms fall slack - his jutsu long forgotten - and he drops to his knees. His eyes go super wide as he stares uncomprehendingly at the corpses of his fellow Snow shinobi. He slowly reaches out his right arm to the nearest corpse which still has copious amounts of blood pouring out of the neck.
"Uh… buddy? You alright there?" I awkwardly ask him. "There's supposed to be running away going on right now but you're not. Go on! Shoo!"
"You… you killed them." He softly says as his eyes start to water. "You killed them all."
"Dude." I bluntly say. "You're acting like you've never seen a comrade die before."
"I haven't." He softly admits as the expanding pool of blood on the ground reaches his knees, tinting his white clothes red. He doesn't seem to care though. "How… how do I... "
"Hey. Buddy." I walk over to him and place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Look I'm not going to sugar coat this, shit like this happens all the time. It's fucked up and horrible. Today you got lucky, I could have easily picked someone else to live. But you did live, learn from this. Learn that there's always someone stronger than you out there, even if he's a kid like me. Hell there are loads of people way stronger than I am, I know that. Never under any circumstance underestimate an opponent. Sure I could have been bluffing but I was too relaxed about it. Too confident of the outcome and didn't try to get away. You've gotta learn how to accurately read these kinds of things. So get up, go find your other shinobi and try and stop me. Never quit moving forward no matter how impossible it seems."
"But how DIE YOU FOOL!" The shinobi roars as he drives a kunai deep into the underpart of my chin, spearing through my mouth and my tongue and into my cranium. "HAHA! Did you really think that I was that pathetic? If they couldn't stand up to you then they have no right to live! You did me a favor by removing the weak! And now you're dead! You let your guard down!"
"Blurgheuryzidsgf." I attempt to speak as the hand I have on his shoulder clamps down hard. I give him a sagely nod and with my other arm I lightly pat him on the back. "Blurreoiwuyrugn."
"How're you alive?! Release me! Let me go!" The shinobi flails around in my inescapable grip in a vain attempt to free himself.
"Blurguiyibnsuf." I nod sagely once more. Then with my free arm, the one that just patted his back, I pull out the kunai preventing me from talking and drive it deep into his shoulder. He screams in pain, the loud wails echo down the long hallway no doubt drawing even more attention to me. "Sorry about that, I had something in my mouth. It's gone now. In order I said 'good, I thought you were a sniveling baby.' Next I said 'this is a new one for me, congratulations.' Lastly I said 'I will let you go but you need your kunai back. Can't have a shinobi without his kunai, that's just bad form.' Just incase you were wondering."
"Are - are you immortal? Can you not die?" He asks me as I shove him away.
"Now isn't that a good question." I sneer at the once proud shinobi who has been reduced to the weakling before me. "How about we find out together? Go fetch your friends. I'll be around here somewhere exploring the blimp to my heart's content."
"Y-yeah." The shinobi shakily stands up. "I'll just be going now."
"Oh and don't forget I let you leave!" I call after his retreating form.
~I thought you weren't going to do stuff like this?~
"Hey I was drastically nicer. I gave them all a chance to give me what I want, hell I gave them two chances! I also didn't prolong their suffering, the three died so quickly they didn't feel what happened. As for the final one, if he didn't stab my mouth shut then I wouldn't have stabbed him in return. I could have tortured them until they told me what I wanted to know."
~Huh. I'm strangely okay with this. You were still very violent.~
"Not when you compare me to what I've recently done." I shrug. "Plus what I'm about to do next is very fucked up but I need results and I need them quickly."
~What are you going to do?~
"Take a trophy."
With the Shinobi that Fled
"Doto-sama!" The shinobi bursts into the control room for the blimp. "We've got a problem! A really big problem!"
"You useless fool!" Doto rounds on the wounded shinobi with rage in his eyes. "You dare to interrupt me as I am talking with my family!"
Sure enough Koyuki is standing next to Doto and she looks visibly cowed. She carries an air of defeat around her, one of resigned acceptance. She's given in to what she thinks is fate.
"I am so close to achieving my decade long goal and you interrupt me!" Doto's loud booming voice causes the shinobi to flinch back in fear. "You better have a stellar reason to do something so brash!"
"We've got a major problem! Someone made it aboard the warship and is looking for Koyuki! He's already killed three of us!" The shinobi rushes to get those sentences out as he kneels before his leader. "I would have died to him too but he let me live. He held my life in his hands and told me to go get more shinobi to stop him. I think he's crazy. I stabbed him in the head with a kunai and he tried to hold a casual conversation with me while the kunai prevented him from speaking correctly!"
"Hello!" I say to everyone in the bridge of the blimp as if I'm warmly greeting longtime friends. I've tailed the shinobi in hopes that he'd bring me straight to Doto and by extension Koyuki. It worked perfectly. "You doing okay there Koyuki?"
"I - but how - in the air - I don't - huh?" She can't form a coherent sentence. Poor thing, she's had a very rough couple days.
"I'll get you in a moment, don't worry. Just stay right there and I'll handle everything." I calmly reassure her. It didn't calm her down at all, if anything she looks even more confused. Oh well, it happens. After dealing with the Princess I turn to the threats in the room, Doto and the shinobi I spared. "So just a couple of things I think need to be clarified, this isn't a warship it's a fucking blimp. This doesn't deserve to be called a warship at best it's an over glorified balloon. Also it is very likely that I am crazy, I mean I did throw myself up here. Willingly might I add, it was my own damn idea and I did that without a landing strategy. Lastly, you dropped this."
I lightly toss a severed head that I brought with me. It hollowly bounces twice on the floor, leaving wet red blotches where it touched. It slows to a roll and rests at Doto's feet.
"I recognize you." Doto eyes me up and down quickly while ignoring the severed head at his feet. Koyuki on the other hand can't tear her eyes away from the head, she's staring at it with a mortified expression. "You're the one that saved the rebel faction from my train. That was very impressive."
"Glad you like my work, I aim to please." I theatrically bow to him. Cuz why the fuck not? I might as well have a little fun as I figure out how I'm going to get Koyuki away from him. "Just wait until I destroy your blimp, it's going to be fabulous! Say is it hydrogen or helium? Please say hydrogen!"
"Helium." Doto humors me with a smirk on his face, I think he's enjoying my antics. That's new, usually I'm insulted or called insane at this point. Usually both at the same time. "I am not that unintelligent. You yourself seem very smart, I could use shinobi like you. What's your price?"
"EEK!" I cover myself up and leap a half step away from Doto. "PERVERT I AM NOT FOR SALE! AND I'M THIRTEEN YOU PEDOPHILE!"
"Amusing." Doto smiles at me. Okay this is pissing me off. He's supposed to be freaking out or confused or at least reacting! It's not fun if no one reacts! "I had no idea Konoha could produce such unique shinobi."
He insulted me. He put extra emphasis on unique. That dick straight up insulted me.
"Alright fuck this." I drop my act. I let a fair amount of killing intent manifest around me and boldly stare Doto straight into his eyes. "You're not reacting how I expected so I'll take a different route. Give me Koyuki and drop us off or die. Your choice. You have ten seconds."
"I'll return your ultimatum with one of my own." Doto isn't phased at all by my sudden switch from lunatic to predator. If anything he's happier that he's seeing this side of me. "Surrender to me or I kill Koyuki."
Doto swiftly holds a kunai to his niece's throat. She finally peels her eyes off of the head to stare at her uncle in fear, she truly believes he will follow through with the threat.
"Really?" I darkly snort out. "Don't you need her alive? Don't make threats you can't back up, that's a novice mistake. Wanna try again? I'll wait."
"That is where you are mistaken, I only need the Hexagonal Crystal." Doto easily supplies me with a dangerous glint in his eyes. He's being one hundred percent serious with his threat. "The only reason she's still breathing is because I can use her to keep the rebel factions in line. Should they step one foot out of line I will have her publically executed. I do not need her alive, she simply serves a purpose if she is. I can make it work either way. So what is your answer? Surrender to me or Koyuki, who you have been hired to protect, will perish. You have five seconds."
"You're a dick." I throw the insult at him. "Fine. I accept. Bind and gag me if you're into that sort of thing but there's one thing you should know."
"Oh do go on." Doto tilts his head slightly in amusement. "I haven't had this much of a challenge from someone in years. I miss this, it brings back memories. Nowadays it's either they roll over out of fear or respect and take it like the ants beneath my boot they are or they can't put up a good fight and die far too quickly. But you, you seem fun. Possibly insane with a multiple personality disorder but fun."
"Right… I'm going to ignore the whole part where you called me insane." It's official, I really don't like this guy. "Koyuki is the only reason this blimp isn't a buring mess of molten metal. Because she is on this blimp it hasn't exploded yet, so the second she dies - by you or someone else - I'm destroying it and everyone onboard. It's in your best interest to keep her alive at all costs because right now she's the only thing protecting you from me."
"Of course of course." Doto waves off my threat with ease. "I prefer if she survives, I just won't lose anything if she doesn't. There's no need to worry."
"Yeah something tells me that I should worry." Well this sucks. I've got to surrender to keep her alive. That's fine, I'll just break out of prison. I've always wanted to break out of a prison. I have the weirdest bucket list ever. "You're way too relaxed about this, I killed three of your shinobi and you wanted to hire me? You've got issues. That means alot coming from me."
"I recognize talent when I see it. Your potential is great, I can feel that you've barely scratched the surface of what you can truly do. So I offered you a spot in my forces, surely I can provide more than Konoha. They're too soft for people like us, people willing to do whatever we can to achieve what we want. It's too bad for you that I had the better hand in our game of threats, perhaps under my tutelage you can become great."
What. The. Hell.
Why does everyone want me to join them? First Orochimaru demanded I join him multiple times, Danzo attempted to recruit me into his ROOT, fucking Tobi invited me into the Akatsuki when I become S-rank and Doto is offering me a spot too?
"No thanks. It's too cold here." I blandly deny his offer even though I'm shouting curses in my head. As I'm insulting various people and deities in my head I hold out both of my arms towards him in a sign of surrender. "So are you going to tie me up or handcuff me? I vote handcuffs, they're so much more fun! Oh oh both! Do both! Tie me up and handcuff me! WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING?! Not you! You don't get to do that! Have one of your hot kunoichi do it! A scantily clad leather wearing kunoichi that demands to be called Mistress if you got one!"
A long silence descends on everyone present. They're all looking at me with different emotions ranging from shocked, scandalized, amused, inspired, and disbelief.
"Holy shit." My arms droop down a little as I realize something about myself. "Maybe I am into bondage? I could have gone anywhere and said anything but I went there. What does that say about me? I… I need to think on this."
~Well… just pointing this out mind you, it doesn't actually mean anything, but between me and the Spiders you have two very easy and reliable ways to restrain people. So… yeah.~
CLICK
While I was distracted someone stepped up and clasped a pair of handcuffs around my wrists. They aren't just any handcuffs, they take up about a quarter of my wrist and forearm. The reason for that isn't because it's a stylistic choice, it's to provide room for a chakra suppression seal that has been etched into each cufflink. That's very smart, normal shinobi would have no way out of this. I do though, I can think of a few off the top of my head.
"I'll be your Mistress." The person, no, the kunoichi who cuffed me succulently says as she runs a finger up and down my arm. "I don't have any leather but I do have a corset. It'll be so much fun to break you!"
"EEP!" I squeak out and try to move away from her. "Doto where's the prison at! Where! I've got to go! Get me out of here! BACK! BACK I SAY!" I swat at the kunoichi that wants to be my Mistress. "Vile strumpet I will not succumb to your feminine charms!"
"Is he always like this?" Doto asks Koyuki as he sheaths his kunai. "He acts this way one moment then another the next. It happens so quickly."
"Yes." Koyuki forces out. "He's insane. There's no other way to describe him."
"Take them both to the warship's hold." Doto orders with a drawn out sigh as he rubs his forehead in resignation.
"It's a blimp!" I shout at him while struggling in the bearhug of the kunoichi. I let her catch me to further the illusion that I am rendered harmless. I'm putting up with her, for now. "Let me go! Unclean! Unclean!"
"There should be a Mistress in there somewhere." The kunoichi smiles sweetly at me and I feel a strong sense of foreboding. "Guess who the head jailor is?"
"Uh… not you?" I weakly guess as she snags the chains between my handcuff and starts to drag me out of the room towards what I'm guessing is the blimp's cells. "It's you, isn't it?"
"Mistress." She narrows her eyes at me. "It's you, isn't it Mistress."
"Why did I have to open my stupid mouth?" I whine to myself as she drags me to my doom. "Why?"
"Hm." Sasuke looks up from his book and stares intently off in the distance. Keen observers notice that he's staring north. "I have the feeling that justice was served. That someone who always plays with fire finally got burnt."