Then all of her momentum vanishes and she's rooted to one spot.
"WHAT?!" Fubuki yells in fury. Her mouth curls in distaste and her face scrunches up in anger. "Why can't I move?!"
"Shadow Possession Complete." Shikamaru smirks at her back, he snuck up behind her while her attention was on Yukie and I. "I'll take her away from here and deal with her. Get Yukie back to the ship."
"Fuck off I was going to do that anyways." I stick my tongue out at him. "You don't get to order me around!"
"Just do it." Shikamaru sighs as he sprints away with Fubuki mimicking his movements which forces her to follow him.
"If I let go of you are you going to run away?" I spare Yukie a glance. She's deadly pale and trembling. Her eyes are out of focus and she seems like she's not here, as if she's lost in her own memories. "Right. Well at least I don't have to worry about you running away."
I let go of her wrist and fly through the hand signs for one of my favorite jutsu. "Fire Release: Intelligent Hard Work!"
Long story incredibly short: The pathetic ice wall didn't stand a chance to my awesomeness.
"Now then." I grab Yukie by the wrist again and proceed to pull her behind me. "We're going to the ship, I'm shoving you into a room, then I'm going to leave a minion behind with you, after that I'm coming back out here to get that snowboard."
I quickly march Yukie back to the ship. Not everyone is back onboard yet, Anko and Ino are both standing guard as the movie crew are scrambling to get all of their equipment back on the ship.
"Alvarcus!" Ino's eyes light up with relief as she sees me. "You're okay! And you've got Yukie!"
"Pfft it'll take more than those morons to beat me. Have you seen their hats? Stupid, all of them." I spit in their general direction. "Besides I'm not fighting a single one of them."
"IS THAT A FREAKING WATER DRAGON!?" The Director cackles in glee. "DON'T STOP FILMING! DON'T STOP NO MATTER WHAT!"
"Huh." I glance over my shoulder. "Kakashi is getting serious to go that far."
"You want to go help him?" Anko asks. "I'll take the Princess off your hands for you."
"He's a big boy, he can handle himself." Even if he's scared of Nadare. I've got to find out if that's going to be a problem later. "He's just stalling so you have enough time to get everyone back on the ship. Not to mention I've fulfilled my part, Yukie is alive still."
"But what if they're losing!" Ino shouts in frustration. "You have to go help them!"
"No I don't." I bluntly tell her without a single regret. "They all know exactly what they're capable of and they haven't once called for help. But if it really bothers you that much then go yourself. Sure you might not be able to help Kakashi but Shikamaru might appreciate it."
Ino shoots Anko a questioning glance, she's asking for permission.
"Go ahead, I've got this on lock down." Anko assures her. "Help your friends."
"Thanks!" Ino sprints off to join the battle.
I maneuver the all but catatonic Princess behind me and turn to watch the battle with Anko. We're both surprisingly relaxed considering what is happening right before us.
Kakashi and Nadare are darting around all over the tall peaks of the iceberg, they're clashing together with brilliant sparks of metal on metal. Every once in awhile Nadare will back off and use a jutsu but Kakashi counters with the same exact one to render it worthless. Except Nadare is slowly gaining the upper hand, it's barely noticeable right now but Kakashi's chakra usage is wearing him down much faster than Nadare is tiring.
Naruto, on the other hand, is having the time of his life. He's constantly bombarding Mizore with Shadow Clones while Mizore is doing everything he can to either dodge them or pop them. I do have to say I was wrong about the snowboard, it's an effective way to maneuver around in the snow but I have no idea what exactly he's using to propel himself forwards. Maybe he's a Wind type and shoots blasts of air out the back of the snowboard? Eh, I'll figure it out when I steal it.
Shikamaru was struggling with Fubuki, once he reached his stamina limit with the Shadow Possession Jutsu she broke free and instantly took to the air. So her armor grants her wings and she uses it to fly, that's unexpected. But being in the air causes her shadow to disappear so all of Shikamaru's favored shadow jutsu can't be used. He's had to rely on dodging and his own kunai to attempt to bring her down. But that was before Ino came to his aid, now with both of them it's Fubuki on the ropes. She's constantly having to dodge sharp objects that are thrown at her from two sources.
"You can go too you know." Anko offers nonchalantly. "I'll watch the actress."
"Not part of the deal." I dismiss that idea instantly. "I'm here on defense for Yukie. That's it. Nothing more and nothing less. This fight is their own."
"You weren't always this big of an asshole." Ano conversationally says to me as we continue to watch everyone battle.
"Orochimaru changes a person." I shrug indifferently. "I'm a lot more jaded as a person now."
"Orochimaru." Anko venomously snarls his name. "What will it take for you to tell me where he's at? I'll give you anything you ask for."
"No." I bluntly deny her. "Ouch. Naruto that was a low blow even by my standards, I avoid the balls."
"I mean it when I say anything." Anko doesn't take her eyes off the battle but I know that she's paying more attention to me than it. "I have ANBU connections. I can sneak you back into Konoha, no questions asked. You'd become an ANBU, working in the shadows full time. You'll always have to wear the ANBU mask since we can't risk your face being recognized but you'd be back. It's gotta be better than Oto."
"Funny, you're not the first one to try and use that line of thinking against me." That award goes to Danzo Shimura. He offered me something eerily similar. "Anko. Show me your tongue."
"What?" She takes her eyes off the battle for the first time to look at me with a creeped out expression. "Why the hell would I do that?"
"Shut up and do it or I will pry your mouth open myself." I threaten her. I have every intention of following through with it too, if she's ROOT that changes everything.
"Kinky! I might prefer it that way." Anko winks at me. "Thought you were into Ino not older ladies like myself."
"You've just upgraded to me ripping it out of your mouth if you don't show me yourself." I'm deadly serious. She wasn't shown as being in ROOT in canon but I'm not risking it. I have to make sure. "Anko. Now."
"You're no fun." Anko pouts as she stick her tongue out at me. "There. Is your weird fetish satisfied?"
"Yes." It's blank. She's not ROOT. Good. "Thank you."
"Soooo… where's Orochimaru at?" Anko doesn't even try to mask her true goal. "Remember, anything you want. Just ask."
"No." I deny her again. "Are these idiots done throwing their shit back on the boat yet? They're taking forever."
"Why? Why won't you let me go kill him!" Anko yells at me with true anger and pain in her eyes. "He's tormented me! He was my sensei and he cast me aside like trash! I will kill him! He's made my life full of suffering!"
"Anko Mitarashi." I call her by her full name to impart how serious I am about what I will say next. "What Orochimaru has done to you is unforgivable. I do not deny that he has caused you a lot of pain and suffering, far from it. Rather I sympathize with you, I truly understand where you're coming from. But Orochimaru is not yours to kill. He's mine."
"You don't know jack shit!" Anko whirls on me, all thoughts of watching the battle are long gone. "Listen here you little fuck you can't begin to imagine how he's hurt me!"
"No you listen!" I round on her with even more aggression than she has. "He cast you aside but he murdered my family. He gave me a kinjutsu that has taken my humanity from me, there's more of it in me than me in me. He ordered my teammate slaughtered and desecrated. He has experimented on me three times. He has ordered me to kill children just to satisfy a sliver of his curiosity. Yet none of that is the worst thing he's done. Have you ever wondered why I looked like him instead of my own parents? It's because he used me in an experiment before I was even born. He imprinted himself on me just because he wanted to find out if he could. So you tell me, whose life has he fucked up more?"
Anko stepped away from me in surprise. She visibly flinched with each new thing I added to my list and her anger has changed into pity.
"He's done that much to you?" She tenderly asks.
"No. He's done more." I darkly assure her as shadows dance upon my face. "I plan on killing him myself, but right now he serves a purpose. He's training me."
"I remember his training." Anko winces. "It's hell."
"I promise it's only gotten worse. You die if he cuts off your limbs. I don't."
"Ouch." She winces again.
"Yeah. Ouch." I snort in amusement then the entire iceberg shakes. "The hell is going on now?!"
Anko and I dart our eyes back to the battle. Naruto, Ino and Shikamaru are all hauling ass towards the ship. They're running as fast as the slippery ground will let them.
"GET ON THE SHIP!" Shikamaru yells out in a panic. "GET ON THE SHIP NOW!"
"Well you heard the boy!" I quickly spin around and scoop the still out of it Yukie into my arms in a bridal style cradle. "Up we go!"
Anko and I land at the same time and only five seconds later Naruto, Ino and Shikamaru join us.
"So what's going on?" I casually ask as I set Yukie down on the ground. "Why the sudden rush?"
"Don't know." Shikamaru pants. "Kakashi shouted at us to run for it. He's doing something."
"Huh. I wonder what it'll be?" I stroll over to the side of the ship then something bursts from underneath the surface of the water. "IS THAT A FUCKING NARWHAL?!"
A monstrous narwhal made of pure ice elegantly leaps out of the water. It's aiming to crash down on the ship.
"OH HELL NO! I AM NOT DYING TO A FUCKING NARWHAL!" I yell out, drowning down all other noise. With a sickening squelch my wind minion rips itself out of my back as I'm flying through hand signs. Both my minion and I ready our respective strongest elemental attacks to melt the stupid ice animal.
"WHY THE FUCK IS THERE ANOTHER NARWHAL!?" I didn't get to finish my combo jutsu in time because another fucking narwhal blew out of the water and slammed into the first one, knocking them both into the iceberg we were just on.
The resulting waves caused by the two narwhals destroying the iceberg send the ship rocking severely but they also push the ship away from the epicenter of the crash. Which also is away from the shinobi that attacked us.
Yay, small victories.
"Oh good you all made it." Kakashi idly says from behind us all. "I didn't know if my jutsu made it in time or if you all were off the iceberg yet."
"YOU!" I whirl on him with fury in my eyes. "Who the hell makes a jutsu that uses a narwhal!? Huh?!"
"No idea, I just copied it." Kakashi shrugs. "I thought it was strange too. It might make sense if the jutsu was used to spear people on the horn but it just hops up then crashes. I guess the creator likes narwhals?"
"I've had it with the stupidity!" I throw my hands up in the air and storm over to the mast. "Cutting holes in hats!" I start to walk up it. "A snowboard as a weapon! Flying suits of armor! And fucking narwhals! That's it! I'm done for today! No more! Nothing makes sense today! NOTHING! And by the way I fucking called it! I told all of you this mission would spiral out of control! I fucking called it!"
"He took that surprisingly well." Shikamaru sarcastically says.
"Really?" Naruto hopefully asks.
"No." Everyone else deadpans to Naruto.
"Okay camera crew." The Director sits them all down. "What all did we get?"
"I got the orange boy fighting the snowboarder."
"I got the other two kids fighting the flying chick."
"I got the silver haired dude and the blue haired dude go at it."
"Jura?" The Director asks. "Anything to add from your special assignment?"
"Oh yeah. Turns out the kid can spit fire. Lots of fire."
"Gentlemen. Ladies." The Director looks at everyone in turn. "We're going to make the best movie in the history of movies."
Thirty Minutes Later
"Why the hell am I here again?" I growl out to the rest of the people in the room. "There's no reason for me to be here. None at all."
"Yukie and Sandayu told us they're going to explain why those shinobi are after Yukie. More specifically something she has. It's important to the mission." Shikamaru blandly tells me with a frown of distaste on his mouth.
It's not that he's frowning at me or anyone really, he's frowning because he doesn't like not knowing things. He's a kind of guy that wants all the pieces of the puzzle, and a picture of it, and detailed instructions on how to put it together.
"And how, oh wise one, does that involve me?" I growl back to him again.
"Because you need to know why they're after her just as much as we do." Shikamaru bluntly says. "It's important to the mission."
"No it's not." I dismiss his logic with a irritated wave. "I'm just supposed to keep her alive. I don't care who is after her, it doesn't matter. At all."
"You're not even curious to who they were? Or what they were after? Or why?" Ino asks me in confusion.
"Frankly I don't give a damn." Plus I already know all of this thanks to Shirokumo. The spy network is really paying off, I knew this days ago. It's fantastic, now I can leave and go do my own thing because we'll be getting off the ship soon and then I'll have to actually be more attentive to my bodyguarding role. "I don't care if her uncle Doto ordered the shinobi to retrieve the Hexagonal Crystal to unlock a hidden secret of the Land of Snow that her dad made before said uncle overthrew him to assume leadership of the country. None of that has anything to do with keeping her alive so I'm outta here. I've got better shit to do."
I stomp over to the exit in a displeased attitude.
"Dragging me down here for this." I mutter. "Barbarians. It's like they don't understand that the mission would be the same if Iwa shinobi were after her head. It's just keeping her alive, they're blowing this way out of proportion."
The door swings shut behind me.
"So… I've heard him say some crazy things but that's new even for me." Kakashi sheepishly admits. "But the craziest thing is I can confirm half of what he said is true." Kakashi turns his gaze onto Yukie. "I remember being sent on a mission here, one to smuggle a particular person out before their tyrannical uncle could start his coup. I opposed a Doto Kazahana and those same three shinobi years ago to smuggle out the daimyo's daughter. You've grown a lot, Koyuki Kazahana. I didn't even recognize you."
"You two know each other?" Anko asks in surprise. "Kakashi I had no idea you've saved a princess! That's like something out of a fairytale!"
"Yes." Koyuki admits with a great deal of strain. "He's the one who got me out, it seems fitting that he brings me back."
"That's not everything." Sandayu takes up speaking once it becomes clear that Koyuki is done. "That... "
"Alvarcus." Shikamaru supplies,
"Thank you. Alvarcus was completely right about everything." Sandayu pushes his glasses up his nose in preparation to tell the story. "Many years ago…"
Each shinobi attentive listens to the sad and tragic tale Sandayu weaves about Koyuki and the Land of Snow's past.
"So there you have it." Sandayu finishes his long history lesson. "She's the Land of Snow's final hope. She's the only person who the people of this country will acknowledge as a true leader. A fair and just Daimyo. It is all up to her to restore peaceful ways to our home."
"This mission just got way more difficult." Shikamaru groaned in resignation. "Alright, we'll help. It takes shinobi to defeat shinobi, civilians like yourselves won't stand a chance. We will defeat Doto and his posse but it is your duty to step up and lead the people."
"I don't even want to be here." Koyuki harshly spits out those words. "I do not care about this dreadful place any longer."
"That's too bad because this 'dreadful place' cares about you. You have a responsibility to the people of this country." Shikamaru does not mince his words.
"You know nothing." Koyuki storms out of the room to go to her own quarters.
"I am sorry for the way she acts." Sandayu bows to the gathered shinobi. "I believe her heart will change once she sees what has become of her home with her own eyes. It is one thing to be told that your people are suffering but it is another thing to see it first hand. I believe that will rekindle her flame, her hope. I bid you all farewell, she shouldn't be alone right now."
Sandayu leaves after his Princess.
"Anyone else pissed off that Alvarcus knew all of that but didn't tell us?" Anko asks the rest of the Konoha group. "Cuz I sure am. That would have been nice to know before we got into this mess."
"Hell yeah I am." Shikamaru passionately agrees with Anko. "How long did he know? What else does he know that he's not telling us?"
"Do you really think we can get him to answer those questions?" Naruto brings up a very good point. "He doesn't even want to be here, not to mention actively trying to help us."
"I can get it out of him." Kakashi promises. "He will listen to me for something this serious."
"Yeah cuz he respects you as an authority figure so much." Shikamaru bluntly denies that idea. "Alvarcus doesn't respond well to demands and orders especially from those he knows don't actually have any power over him. Hate to break it to you, but that includes you Kakashi."
"Yes, you're right." Anko slyly shoots a particular member of the group a look. "He's always responded more favorably to a… lighter touch."
"Someone who knows him well enough to trick him several times." Shikamaru joins in on Anko's sly look. "A person he has a soft spot for."
Everyone else gets the idea. They're all staring slyly at one particular member.
"What?" Ino asks in confusion. "What's with all the looks?"