It took me a few months to figure it out. Rebirth. Reincarnation. Life round number 2! That's right everyone, your looking at a 2 month old baby who has lived before.
How utterly disgusting, I am a baby.
First thing I made a note of was that babies can't do anything. The only things babies are capable of are eating, sleeping and pooping. Life is so boring. That being said the whole "not required to do anything" is rather nice. If I want food I just have to start making noise and BAM! Food on demand. My own personal room service.
The defecating on myself was very gross. One of the most unpleasant things I have ever done. The second I get these puny legs working I am getting out of these damn diapers. Toilets are porcelain gods. Never forget that.
My caretakers are rather nice people. The woman has a lovely signing voice, and the man has a delightful laugh. I suppose they are my new parents. That would make sense, after all they do everything a parent would do for a new baby.
But I just can't call them mom and dad. I already have a mom and dad. They refer to themselves as "okaa-san" and "otou-san," which I guess means mother and father. That is fine, they can be mother and father. Mom and dad are taken.
The other thing they don't stop saying is "Alvarcus." When ever they say it they stare at me with big hopeful eyes. That is the name they chose for me. I get a new name. Great. At least it sounds exotic. Alvarcus. I could get used to that.
Throughout my first years mother and father were very overbearing. That was probably due to me being so quiet. It took a surprising 7 months for me to utter a garbled "okaa-san" to... well okaa-san. She is not mom. But her face lit up with joy at the poorly formed words. Otou-san was happily disappointed that I said okaa-san first. That's okay though, because those were my next words. My third word was hungry.
That's right, with my adult brain and all my life experiences my first sentence in this new life was "Okaa-san, otou-san, hungry."
From that day forward okaa-san and otou-san shoved a ridiculous amount of vocabulary at me. They called me a gifted child, a smart boy due to the fact that I picked up the language quicker than other kids. I like to think that at with my other life's experience I am smarter than one year old children. There is only one word that really bothers me: Konoha. There is only one Konoha that I know. Only Naruto's Konoha.
That scares me.
If that is true, I am a baby in a world where shinobi roam free. Thieves, liars, killers. I don't want it to be true. I don't want to be in a world full of killers.
Well, I kinda do. Who wouldn't want the ability to walk on water and command the elements? Okay, maybe being a shinobi would be fun. As long as I am not on Naruto's team. What am I saying? There is no way this is Naruto. That would be ridiculous!
This is ridiculous. Absolutely, most certainly the craziest thing ever. This is the Naruto world. Or at least Konoha. How do I know? There are faces carved into a damn mountain that is how! Not just any faces, the Hokages. Faces I know from a bloody kids show I grew up with and still like to watch.
Konoha. Village hidden in the Leaves. The central village where shit goes down. Invasions. Attacks. Weird zombie dudes who command gravity. I'm in for a world of crazy.
That's it! I've decided. If I am in Konoha, I have got to protect myself. I need to be a shinobi. I need to be a damn good shinobi. I need to be a S-rank shinobi just to survive. So I am going to be a S-rank shinobi!
How the hell do I do that?
Chakra. That is the first step. Unlocking my chakra. Right. I have no idea how to do that, none at all. I could start with meditating? Looking within myself for energy? That sounds right.
I'll have this down in no time!
It took years. It took 5, long frustrating years to unlock my chakra. The chakra wasn't the only frustrating thing about those years. Oh no, my caretakers were rather demanding that I make friends with kids my age. I just couldn't.
Hear me out before you judge me, you have to remember that I already was a kid, I've matured past that stage in my life. I can talk very well for being 5 years old. I can problem solve, I understand social ques, and I relate to adults surprisingly well. But the 5 year old? Way out of my comfort zone. I can't limit my mind to function at a five year old level. I just can't. I tried. I tried very hard to make friends, but sometimes I would talk about something they didn't – couldn't – understand. Not to mention my strange habit of slipping back into English.
That scared my caretakers the first time I did it. A simple question of "what is for breakfast" somehow triggered a hospital visit. I was perfectly healthy thank you! I just have preexisting knowledge of a language no one else has ever heard before! Okay, maybe I am not healthy. This can't be a common occurrence. At least it will be ridiculously easy to write things in code.
Friends. Can't say I made that many over my first 5 years. I can't say I made any. I became rather reclusive and anti-social. I would rather read (or continue learning how to read in my case), write stories from my true childhood, or even draw.
My caretakers didn't like that. Not one bit. They didn't want a recluse for a child. I can't blame them.
What I can blame them for is this: they don't want me to be a shinobi.
That's right, Namika and Fujita are civilian merchants. Bakers to be exact. They want me to follow in their footsteps and take over shop one day. Now you might be asking yourself "how did a 5 year old figure that out?" Simple. I unlocked my chakra.
"Okay. Alvarcus. Look at me. You can do this."
Staring into my bathroom mirror I try to psych myself up. I do have to say that this new body is nothing like my original. Somehow mixing the brown hair of okaa-san with the dark blue hair of otou-san makes jet black hair. I am pretty sure genetics messed me up because I look nothing like my parents. I don't have either of my parents eyes either! Okaa-san has blue, otou-san has almost solid black and I ended up with a piercing yellow. Last time I looked at a color wheel, blue and black do not make yellow.
Get back on track! You can admire yourself later!
Going to my bed, I sit on it with my legs crossed. I'm attempting to meditate. To look within myself for something, anything, as I have for years. Searching. Feeling. Wishing, hoping for anything. And finally! There was a breakthrough. I felt warmth. A subtle heat flowing around my body. I felt it, I could feel it! Slowly, very slowly in case I screwed up, I moved some of it to my right hand. There was a strong pleasant warmth coming from my palm. I open my eyes and -
"MY HAND IS GLOWING!"
Hmm. Probably should not have shouted that.
My door flies open, okaa-san and otou-san come rushing in. With a huge smile on my face, I turn to my caretakers.
"Look! Blue hand! How awesome!" It can be terrible acting my age, but I really am super happy! I finally unlocked my chakra!
"Oh no."
Those two word uttered by okaa-san cut me to my core. Namika and Fujita both look filled with sorrow. They are disappointed. Both of them. Because I can use chakra. What?
"Okaa-san? Otou-san? What is wrong?" Maybe I am doing it wrong? Maybe they have never seen chakra before? They can't possibly be unhappy that I can use it.
Fujita comes over to me, gets on a knee places his hand on my shoulder and looks me right in the eyes.
"Alvarcus, that is chakra. Shinobi use chakra. We are bakers, son. We don't need to use chakra." Fujita says in the most serious tone I've ever heard him use.
"But I could be a shinobi! It would be so cool! I would be the first in our fami-"
"NO!" okaa-san screams. She literally screams it from the doorway.
"But why?" My voice wavers. Never before have either of my caretakers acted like this. Where did this come from? I thought being a shinobi was a great thing in Konoha, a great thing for any family in any shinobi village!
"Namika, calm down. I'll talk with him and explain." Turning back to me otou-san spoke. "Alvarcus, shinobi are not good people. They are paid to lie, cheat, steal and even kill. You shouldn't want to become a shinobi."
"But don't they protect the village? They can't all be bad. Even the Hokage is a shinobi!" This can't be happening. I refuse to be something as mediocre as a baker in this crazy world.
"Alvarcus! Enough! You will not be a shinobi. My son will not be a killer! A murderer!"
"But otou-san -"
"I said no!" Fujita says forcefully.
I can't believe it. This is happening. My goal demands that I be a shinobi. It is in the damn title!
"Do you understand me young man?" Why is otou-san acting so weird? He has never been this... this strict and demanding!
With watery eyes, oh god am I actually tearing up over this, I say "Yes otou-san. I understand."
With relieved faces, okaa-san and otou-san smile. "Good. Now how about we go the bakery and get you a cookie?"
Chakra was never brought up again. Being a shinobi was never brought up again. I went about my life, acting like I normally do. I was the perfect child. I was always polite, always doing what I was told. I never went against my caretakers.
Until nightfall. Once my caretakers were asleep, I would practice molding chakra. I would move it around my body trying to get used to how it felt. It felt good. Amazing even. I wouldn't stop just because I was told no. Something so small like that could never stop me. It just forced me to be sneaky, which is perfectly fine. Shinobi need stealth in addition to chakra.
I never had any idea why they were so strongly against shinobi. I never asked. Whenever a shinobi came to our bakery my caretakers were always polite and never rude. Well being rude to a paid and trained killer is a really bad idea, but they treated everyone the same.
All but one person. They wouldn't serve one person, and his name was Naruto.
Naruto only tried to enter our bakery once. I barely saw him. I was sitting on the counter snacking on a sweet roll when otou-san started yelling.
"We don't serve your kind! Get out of here! Go on! Scram!" Otou-san shouts at a blindingly orange blob while he wields a broom in a threatening manner.
The orange blob -er kid yeah that is a kid- looks heartbroken."I- I just wanted some bread. Please?"
"No demon child! Leave this instant!"
The child hangs his head in defeat and practically limps out of the store.
"Good riddance! Alvarcus! Don't talk to that child."
I am flabbergasted. Fujita is livid at that poor kid. "Why otou-san? What did he do?" Maybe he stole from us before?
"He is a menace and a hooligan! My son will not associate with scum like him!" He's still glaring at the retreating child.
Otou-san hates that kid at first glance. Who was that poor child? He can't be much older than I am. Where are his parents at? Someone that young shouldn't out wandering around on their own. The only person who was treated that poorly was Naruto, the entire village acted that way to him.
Oh. Naruto. That was him. No doubt about that. Poor kid.
He never came back. I never saw him again, not until the first day at the academy.