The door creaked softly as I entered the room, closing it behind me with trembling hands. The weight of the moment pressed heavily on my shoulders. The quiet hum of the palace halls faded behind the heavy door, leaving nothing but the suffocating silence of the chamber before me. My heart thudded in my chest as I forced my feet to carry me forward, step by step, until I reached a corner of the room, farthest from the Court Mistress. My head remained down, my hands clasped tightly in front of me as though holding on to the last shreds of my courage.
Why had she summoned me? What had I done? Anxiety churned in my stomach, each second that passed without explanation only intensifying the gnawing unease. I dared not raise my eyes to meet hers, convinced that her gaze alone might reveal my guilt—whatever guilt that was.
Could she have found out? My mind raced back to earlier today, sneaking in and out of the Watchers' chamber. *Could someone have seen me?* The thought sent a cold shiver down my spine, and I clenched my hands tighter to keep them from trembling.
What explanation could I possibly give? A lie was forming in my mind, slippery and unconvincing, but it was all I had. I needed to say something, anything that might keep me from being exposed.
But even as I thought of ways to cover my tracks, the familiar voice of Hei Hei echoed in my mind, urging me not to give up. She had always believed in me, even when I doubted myself. She wasn't here now, but I couldn't disappoint her. There had to be a way to get through this, and I had to find it.
I was still frantically searching for the right words, my mind a jumble of half-formed lies, when the Court Mistress's voice cut through the silence like a blade.
"Mara."
The sound of that name still felt foreign on my tongue, though it was the name I now wore like a second skin. I swallowed hard, my voice wavering as I replied, "Yes, Mistress."
Her voice was calm, far too calm for the punishment I had imagined. "Look up."
My heart raced. With great reluctance, I slowly lifted my head, bracing myself for the look of fury or disappointment I expected to see. But when my eyes met hers, I was struck by how wrong I had been.
She was not angry. The Court Mistress's face was serene, her expression gentle. Her beauty, though softened by age, was undeniable, even with the fine wrinkles that traced the contours of her pale skin. Her silver hair was elegantly pinned back, revealing a face that radiated an unexpected warmth.
Despite the years that had etched themselves into her skin, there was still a quiet strength in her gaze that seemed to see right through me, yet without judgment.
For a moment, I could only stare, the fear that had gripped me moments ago beginning to ebb away. Her presence reminded me so much of my mother, her calm demeanor soothing in a way that was almost unsettling given the circumstances.
"My child," she said, her voice soft and soothing. She paused, her gaze holding mine as if she wanted me to understand something deeper than the words she was about to say. "I know you must be wondering why I summoned you."
I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded, but immediately caught myself. *The rules.* I couldn't simply nod. It was a grave offense to respond with gestures alone in the presence of someone of her rank. The realization hit me like a slap, and I quickly corrected myself, stammering, "Yes, Mistress."
Her lips curved into a small, understanding smile, but she didn't scold me. "Come here, child," she said, gesturing toward a small stool next to her chair. "Sit. In time, you will grow accustomed to the palace."
I hesitated, unsure if I should take the offer of comfort, but it was a command I could not disobey. Slowly, I moved forward and sat on the stool, my body tense with unease despite her kindness.
The Court Mistress studied me for a moment longer before she spoke again.
"You have been appointed as the king's personal maid," she said, her voice steady but carrying the weight of the words. "It is a position of great responsibility, and with the king's condition… it will not be easy."
Her mention of the king sent a chill through me. The stories I had heard of him—the darkness that had taken hold of his heart—made my skin prickle. I tried to keep my expression neutral, but fear crept in, betraying me. The king's condition was known by everyone, whispered in the darkest corners of the palace, a curse that seemed to hang over the entire kingdom.
The Court Mistress saw the fear in my eyes and offered a small, reassuring smile. "He doesn't bite," she said lightly, and I tried to mirror her smile, though it felt forced.
Her tone softened as she continued. "He is not as dangerous as the rumors would have you believe. However, there are moments when the darkness consumes him, and he becomes… unpredictable. During these times, he prefers to be left alone, and should someone be foolish enough to intrude, yes, he may lash out. But he is not without reason. If you learn to understand him, to respect his moods and his wishes, you will manage well."
She paused, letting the gravity of her words sink in. My chest tightened as I realized the full weight of the task that had been given to me. I was to serve a king who was not himself, a man torn apart by whatever dark forces plagued him.
"He needs someone to help him remember who he is," the Court Mistress said softly, her eyes distant for a moment, as if recalling a time when the king had been different. "Someone to guide him back from the brink."
I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came. How was I supposed to be the one to do that? I was already struggling with the idea of just being in his presence.
The Court Mistress's next words caught me off guard. "I was very close to his mother, you know," she said quietly, her voice tinged with sorrow. "Before she passed."
"Passed?" I repeated in shock, not realizing when the question had slipped from my lips.
"Yes," she nodded. "Queen Elizabeth is not King Valen's biological mother. His real mother, the true queen, passed away many years ago, leaving him with a void he has never quite managed to fill."
Her eyes grew misty as she spoke, and I felt the weight of her sorrow. There was more to this story, and I could sense it, the depth of the relationship between the Court Mistress and the late queen. They must have shared a bond that ran deep, perhaps deeper than mere loyalty to the crown.
"She was a kind woman, his mother. Gentle, but strong. She loved him fiercely, and he adored her. When she died… something in him changed." Her voice broke slightly, and she cleared her throat, blinking away the tears that threatened to spill. "I promised her, on her deathbed, that I would watch over him. That I would take care of him in her absence."
She turned to look at me, her gaze piercing through the layers of uncertainty that had built up inside me. "Now, that task falls to you. You will be the closest to him. And I believe that you can help him find his way back. You must help him rediscover who he is."
I stared at her, my throat dry, unable to respond. I had already been overwhelmed by the burden of this role, and now she was adding to it a task I wasn't sure I could fulfill.
"I've watched over him all these years," she continued, her voice faltering. "And I fear I am failing him. Every day that I see him slip further into the darkness, I am reminded of my promise to his mother, and I… I feel as though I am letting her down."
The pain in her voice struck a chord within me, reminding me of my own mother's last words to me before she passed. The promise I had made to her, the weight of it still pressed down on me every day. I knew what that kind of responsibility felt like, how it gnawed at you, how failure was not an option.
I swallowed hard, feeling a strange sense of solidarity with her. "Don't worry, Mistress," I said softly, my voice steadier now. "I will help King Valen. I promise."
She looked at me, and for a brief moment, there was hope in her eyes. She reached out, placing a wrinkled hand on mine. "I knew you would," she whispered. "You seem… different."
I smiled at her, the tension easing in my chest as I saw the relief wash over her. It felt like a small victory, knowing I had lightened her burden, even just a little.
But then her tone shifted, businesslike once more. "You know the rules," she said firmly. "Follow them, and you will do just fine. And remember, she paused and smiled again—he doesn't bite."
She dismissed me with a wave of her hand, and as I left the room, the full weight of what had just transpired settled heavily on my shoulders.
Merely a few steps from the court mistress' door, I saw a figure approaching and as he drew closer, I could glimpse he was no doubt Marcus.
He was coming in my direction and just as I was about to take a different turn to avoid meeting him, he called out "Mara".