'I will actually die'
There was a saying, when one was on the verge of death, time slows down and you are able to recall all your memories or something like forcing yourself to not die, like in the novels.
However, Jon wasn't like that,
He actually asked himself the question, 'Do I want to die?'
Maybe because of his 'Composure' trait or his 'Brilliant mind' skill, but he wasn't scared in the face of it. He had taken the lives of others, it would be unreasonable for him to not have also expected his death as at any time.
He thought of the things he would leave behind and strangely nothing he had recently experienced came to him. It was a memory from before he entered university, it was his childhood friend. 'Ah' he didn't know why, but he had totally forgotten about that person ever since this world fell.
