Chereads / Ashes of Vengeance / Chapter 35 - The Loneliness of Victory

Chapter 35 - The Loneliness of Victory

The quiet of the night had become a familiar companion to Su Jin. The war was over, the rebuilding had begun, and yet, an unshakable sense of isolation clung to her like a shadow. Standing alone in her tent, she looked out at the dimly lit camp where soldiers now rested in makeshift barracks. Their spirits were slowly recovering, but for Su Jin, the weight of leadership had never felt heavier.

Victory, once thought to be the ultimate goal, had brought little comfort. The triumph that had been celebrated by her soldiers felt hollow to her. As the commander, she had led them through the bloodshed, but now, in the stillness of the aftermath, she found herself consumed by doubt.

She had given everything to win this war—her strength, her strategy, and her heart. But now, with the dust settled, she felt the ache of every life lost, the burden of every decision made. In the silence of the night, victory felt less like an achievement and more like an unrelenting reminder of the cost.

Days passed, and the demands of leadership never ceased. Su Jin worked tirelessly with her commanders to restore order to the kingdom, issuing commands and overseeing the progress of the reconstruction. From the outside, she appeared calm and determined, but inside, the weight of responsibility pressed down on her shoulders.

Gu Tingfeng noticed the change in her. He had fought beside her, trusted her judgment in every battle, and now, as the kingdom began to heal, he could see the toll it had taken on her.

"Your Highness," he said one afternoon as they reviewed reports from the outlying regions, "you've been carrying this burden alone for too long."

Su Jin didn't look up from the papers in front of her. "It's my duty, Tingfeng. I have to ensure that everything we've fought for is not in vain."

"You don't have to do it alone," Gu Tingfeng replied gently. "The war may be over, but you're still fighting a battle within yourself."

Su Jin's hand paused over the reports, and for a moment, she considered his words. She had been so focused on holding everything together that she had pushed her own emotions aside. Now, in the quiet of victory, those emotions were beginning to surface.

"I can't afford to think about myself," she said quietly. "There's too much at stake. I owe it to them—all of them—to see this through."

Gu Tingfeng met her gaze, his eyes filled with understanding. "We all owe them something. But that doesn't mean you have to bear this alone. Let us help you, Su Jin."

That night, Su Jin found herself standing outside her tent, staring up at the stars. The camp was quiet, the sounds of laughter and conversation barely audible in the distance. The war had forged a bond between her and her soldiers, but it had also created a distance. She was their leader, the one who made the decisions, the one who carried the burden of their losses. And now, as they celebrated the peace they had won, she felt farther from them than ever.

She thought of the fallen soldiers, the lives lost under her command. Each decision, no matter how calculated, had led to death. She had sent men and women into battle, knowing not all would return, and now their absence weighed on her like an unseen chain.

As she stood in the solitude of the night, Gu Tingfeng approached her once again. He said nothing at first, merely standing by her side, sharing the silence.

"They all look to you," he said after a long pause. "They see you as their hero, their leader. But I know how much this has cost you."

Su Jin exhaled slowly, her breath visible in the cool night air. "I never wanted to be their hero. I only wanted to protect them."

"And you did," Gu Tingfeng said softly. "But now you must let yourself heal, too."

Su Jin closed her eyes, feeling the weight of the world pressing down on her. She had won the war, but in doing so, she had lost pieces of herself along the way.

In the following weeks, the kingdom continued its slow but steady recovery. The people returned to their homes, rebuilding their lives brick by brick. The war had left scars on the land and its people, but with time, hope began to emerge.

Yet, even as the kingdom healed, Su Jin remained haunted by the cost of victory. She continued to lead with strength and resolve, but the sense of loneliness never left her. She moved through the days like a shadow, always present but never truly seen.

Gu Tingfeng remained at her side, offering his counsel and support, but he knew that there was a part of Su Jin that even he couldn't reach. She was carrying a burden that only she could understand—a burden that came with being the victor.

One evening, as they sat in the command tent, Gu Tingfeng spoke again. "You've sacrificed more than anyone can see, Su Jin. But you don't have to carry this alone. The war may have isolated you, but we're all here for you."

Su Jin looked at him, her eyes weary but filled with gratitude. "Thank you, Tingfeng. But some things, some burdens, are mine alone to bear."

Gu Tingfeng nodded, understanding her resolve. "Just remember that even the strongest need a moment of rest."