It was a warm afternoon in late August, the sort that dilates time and stretches the minutes like soft taffy across the summer sky. I sat by the open window of my modest second-floor apartment, nursing a glass of iced tea that had long since ceased being cold. The air was thick with the smell of lilacs and distant rain, although no storm had yet dared to disturb the languid perfection of the day.
From where I reclined—half-hidden beneath the lazy curl of an armchair—I could see her. Of course, I could see her. She was the reason I had chosen this particular flat, with its dusty window ledge and its view of the green-shuttered house across the street, where she lived. She did not know I watched her, nor would she have cared if she had known, for her mind existed in a realm apart from the earthly preoccupations of those who might observe her with such, dare I say, obsessive fervour.
Elena. A name that dripped from the tongue like honeyed wine, tinged with something just slightly bitter, a thistle hidden in the sweetness. She moved like a creature unmoored from the rest of us, her gestures as languid and deliberate as a cat's, yet charged with an ineffable grace that made me want to study her forever—ah, forever, such an impractical word.
In her garden, she leaned over the lilac bush, the hem of her white dress catching on the greenery, as if nature itself could not resist the urge to detain her. The sunlight poured over her like molten gold, igniting her pale skin, illuminating the dark halo of her hair as it fell in loose tendrils around her face. She was swatting at a moth—how charming, I thought, a moth, so delicate, so doomed in its obsession with light. It fluttered erratically around her head, evading her half-hearted attempts to brush it away.
I watched this scene unfold through the window, knowing—no, anticipating—the moment she would turn, her gaze scanning the street, and perhaps, just perhaps, she would pause for a fraction of a second on the window behind which I sat. And yet, Elena was not a woman who dealt in predictable patterns. She was a puzzle of gestures, of sighs and glances that hinted at the impenetrable depth of her inner world. She did not turn toward me, but continued her little dance with the moth, as if she were in some private performance, unseen by all but the actors in her mind.
The moth! How perfectly it circled her. In its winged desperation, it mirrored my own folly. Oh, how I flitted in my thoughts, just like that moth—drawn irresistibly to her brightness, knowing full well the burn that awaited me. But the burn, you see, is what makes it all so unbearably exquisite.
I allowed myself to imagine, as I had countless times before, that I was not merely watching her from this dusty perch, but beside her. I saw myself walking through the lilac-laden air, my hand brushing against hers in an almost accidental but decidedly deliberate touch. Her eyes, those liquid jewels of inscrutable depth, would meet mine, and in that moment, something would spark—a recognition, perhaps, that we were the same kind of creature, one that danced in circles, tethered to its own desires.
But the moth grew too bold. It landed, foolishly, on her bare shoulder. And then, with a flick of her wrist, she brushed it away, sending it spiralling into the air. A sharp finality to the gesture, and yet, how graceful, how effortless. I felt an odd pang in my chest, something close to sympathy for the hapless thing. The moth, now rejected, fluttered awkwardly, disoriented in its flight before it vanished from view, as all such creatures do.
Elena straightened, brushing her hair back from her forehead. She turned, not toward me, but toward the house. I knew the moment was over, as fleeting and fragile as the wings of the moth that had so briefly entertained her.
And what of me? Would I continue to watch her from my window, as I had for so many afternoons? Would I remain the eternal observer, content with my quiet, unnoticed obsession?
Or, like the moth, would I one day dare to break free from the protective pane of glass that separated us, to throw myself into her light, knowing full well the danger of such a fall?