"Pretty quick, I went up with one kick, and that fatty just flopped onto the ground like a dead fish!"
At dinner, Xu Qingfan was dramatically recounting his morning heroics against three mischievous kids, making all the adults from both families laugh heartily.
"Enough already, look how capable you think you are, yet your face still got swollen from being hit," Mom Xu, unable to stand her son's antics, said with exasperation.
"Keep going, Qingfan, aunty loves hearing it!" Lin Jing glared at Mom Xu and encouraged Xu Qingfan with a smile.
Being outside, Xu Qingfan had to save face for his own mom, so he stuck out his tongue and sat back down.
The TV was broadcasting news about the National Football Team making it to the World Cup, with a commentator boldly stating, "Draw with Samba, a narrow win over Turkey, blow out Godzilla, progressing as group leaders is just around the corner!"
Staff members listed a series of data on the electronic board behind, analyzing the feasibility of the National Football Team finishing first in their group, using technical jargon, which made even Xu Qingfan, who already knew the outcome, feel nervous.
[Could it be that I have traveled to a parallel world???]
"June 4th, let's all cheer for the National Football Team!"
Xu Qingfan couldn't stand it anymore and stealthily picked up the remote to change the channel.
"You little brat, switch it back, all you know is watching cartoons!" Dad Xu stretched out his hand, gave his son a head flick, and snatched the remote back to the sports channel.
Unappreciative of kindness, Xu Qingfan resentfully glanced at his dad, knowing that by June 4th, there would be thousands, if not tens of thousands, of smashed televisions across the country.
"Ah!!!!"
"Wuu wuu.. ah... ah ah!!"
"Woof woof woof!"
The previously quiet Lianhua Courtyard suddenly erupted with pig-slaughtering screams, and the dogs downstairs started barking as well.
"Who's the blind fool causing trouble here!"
Dad Xu and Dad Xia casually grabbed some weapons and ran outside.
Xu Qingfan also wanted to rush out to see the excitement but was quickly pulled back by Mom Xu, who unsurprisingly flicked him on the head again.
"Always looking for a crowd to join, a piece of barbeque pork would have been a better creation than you!" Mom Xu glared at him angrily.
"Come on, he's just a kid," Lin Jing, feeling sorry for Xu Qingfan, pulled him onto her lap, and said with a smile.
"See, our Xiao Xiao is well-behaved. How about being aunty's daughter, huh?" Mom Xu did the same and pulled Xia Xiaoxiao onto her lap.
"No!" Xia Xiaoxiao politely sat on Mom Xu's lap but refused nonetheless.
"Why not?"
Both families were quite curious.
"Then I wouldn't be Xu Qingfan's sister anymore, I don't want to be that annoying jerk's sister!" Xia Xiaoxiao pouted and looked at Xu Qingfan.
"Hahaha, our Fanfan is not annoying at all," Lin Jing playfully scolded her daughter.
"What if I give Xiao Fan away, then will you be aunty's daughter, huh?"
"Ah! No!!" Xia Xiaoxiao, not catching on to Mom Xu's joke, became anxious upon hearing Xu Qingfan might be given away.
The adults laughed heartily again.
Truth be told, Lin Jing was only three or four years older than Xu Qingfan.
Being held in Lin Jing's lap, and smelling the faint fragrance from her, he felt a ticklish feeling at the tip of his heart.
Luckily, he was still underage; otherwise, the nickname of a little pervert would have been impossible to shake off.
"Aunty, I'll be your daughter, just don't give Xu Qingfan away, okay?" Xia Xiaoxiao, afraid Aunt Lin would give the little troublemaker away, quickly added.
"Alright, alright, I won't give him away, aunty listens to Xiao Xiao."
Lin Jing was about to tease further, but seeing her husband return with a strange expression, she changed tack and asked, "What's up?"
"Cough cough... hahaha, last month, did old Li on the sixth floor just buy a new color TV? His son, trying not to get caught watching TV, poured a ladle of cold water on it to cool it down. The couple are beating their son over it!"
"Hahaha, that's hilarious!"
"Hahaha, did the TV break?"
"How could it not break? As soon as Old Li plugged it in, the TV exploded with a bang!"
"It deserved a good beating."
"I'm going to check it out." Xu Qingfan found an excuse to get off Lin Jing's lap and ran out of the door.
He rushed to the sixth floor, squeezed through the crowd three layers deep inside and out, and finally made it to the front.
Seeing the feather duster broken in two on the ground, Xu Qingfan gasped in shock.
It was a "sword in the hands of a loving mother" indeed!
[Would my mom beat me like this if she found out I stole money to buy lottery tickets?]
"Look at young Qingfan, bringing home delivery to the family at such a young age. Why did I end up with you, a jinx?"
When Uncle Li caught sight of Xu Qingfan who squeezed in to watch the commotion, he hit his own son with a belt again.
The kid seemed to be in third grade, and yet at that size, he still didn't know to use a wet cloth to cool down the TV; he really deserved a beating.
Suddenly becoming the model child of another family, he felt embarrassed to stay longer and rushed back to the third floor.
"Mom, if I do something wrong, would you beat me like that?"
"That depends on what you did wrong."
"What if I stole money from home to buy lottery tickets..."
Before Xu Qingfan could finish, his dad was the first to speak up: "Then I'd be the first to beat you to death."
"What if the lottery ticket just happened to win a million?" Xu Qingfan timidly asked.
"Stop daydreaming, it's not easy to win the lottery, stop thinking about these crooked schemes and go to your room to study!" his mom snapped, smacking the back of his head.
"The World Cup lottery is really popular this year, I saw lots of people buying it when I was out of town," remarked Xia Dad, just back from the province, recalling the crowded scenes in front of the lottery stores.
"You can bet on the World Cup?" Xu Mom, who usually paid no attention to these matters, asked in surprise.
"Long hair but short on knowledge, the '98 World Cup jackpot was hundreds of millions."
Xu Mom's stern look deflated Xu Aiguo instantly.
"Didn't the TV say the National Football Team was a sure win, wouldn't betting on them be like giving money away?" Lin Jing remembered the analysis on TV just now.
"Don't listen to the nonsense on TV; Samba and Turkey are top teams, the National Football Team winning even one game would be good," Xia Dad, obviously an experienced football fan, spoke the truth.
"How can you curse your own country like that, you're not patriotic at all!" Lin Jing pinched her husband on the waist.
"What you're saying...I support the National Team, but that doesn't stop me from betting on their opponents to win, what's that term again..."
"Hedging your bets?" Xu Qingfan chimed in from the side.
"Hahaha, right, Fanfan understands it best, this is called hedging your bets, happy win or lose!"
Xu Qingfan silently gave Xia Dad a thumbs up, having grasped the highest realm of a gambling dog twenty years in advance.
Happy winning, happy with money when losing.
"Look how capable you are, if I find out you've been sneaking money to gamble, from now on you'll sleep in the living room!" Lin Jing outright berated him, no matter how eloquently you spoke, gambling was absolutely out of the question!
"How could I? I was just spouting off, really, staying grounded is the right path!"
Xu Qingfan highly agreed with the Xia family's values.
Drugs—lead to ruin.
Gambling—tears families apart.
Porn—leads you astray in every way!
But a bet where the outcome is known 100%—that's not gambling. This summer, he, Xu Qingfan, was destined to be the gambling oddity!