About 1 week after that incident, I was finally given my number which was tattooed on my
neck, the number 555. Marcus was given the number 475 and Malcolm was given the
numb 69. Then 1 week later (on a Monday), during a normal morning Roll call, Otto
Schwarze introduced a couple of new prisoners. This was his exact speech:
"Hello Jews. Before we begin our normal roll call I must, under Neuengamme camp
Administrator and Central Executive Officer's order, introduce to you 4 new Prisoners and
2 new Guards. The First Prisoner is Jonah Frankel who has the number of 17. The second
prisoner is Dina Katz who has the number of 444. The third Prisoner is Samuel Adler
who has the number 764. The Final Prisoner of today is Eva Rosen who has the
number 721. The 2 new Guards are Ludwig Richter and Wrexham Braun. I expect every
one of you to follow and listen to these guards and to do everything they tell you. Anyways
you Jews better be prepared for today because it is not going to be easy."
I saw Jonah and for some reason he had a glimmer in his eyes almost like he knew this
suffering would go away someday and a light smile, grinning like a fox that is about to be
caught in a trap. His eyes were like a peak into his soul and it allowed me to see that he
was not afraid of the upcoming torture and hell, it was as though he was ready for it
and expecting it to go away. I chuckled at that thought but then after roll call, I went to him
and introduced myself:
"Hey, my name is Johansen Berg, and my number is 555. Nice to meet you." I said
"Hey man, my name is Jonah, I'm one of the new prisoners around here and I'm kind of
lost, do you think you can maybe show me around?" He asked whilst scratching the back
of his head and chuckling
"Why in the hell is he so jolly." I thought to myself
"Yeah, Sure, no problem but I have one question," I said
"Go for it!" He exclaimed
"Why were you smiling during your Introduction?" I asked him with a firm tone
"Oh, was I?" He chuckled before continuing
"I guess it was because I'm not scared of the Nazi regime. Sure, I may be their slave but I'm
sure America will free us one day." He stated confidently
He looked oddly a lot like Malcolm, the same height, Ginger hair, and blue eyes. Marcus
also had the same appearance but Jonah reminded me of Malcolm rather than Marcus. It
was exactly as I had thought, he was not afraid but I was shocked that he mentioned
America, I never really imagined America as freedom back then so it left me confused.
"America?" I also let out a chuckle before continuing
"You think America is going to come out here in Hamburg to rescue us?
We must rescue ourselves, not wait for some savior to arrive which probably won't even
arrive. I don't know about you, but I want to fight for my freedom rather than wait for
America" I stated
I was slightly frustrated as I hate it when people have a false sense of freedom or any
other emotion.
"Woah man I never meant any disrespect" He Replied
"Sorry about that I was thinking out loud again," I said with an apologetic tone
"It's all good buddy. I Moved to America when I was younger, and I saw why they called it
the land of freedom, in there you can be anything you want to be whenever you want and
however you want! You can be White, Jewish, Black, Asian, African, and everything else and
you will have the same opportunities as everyone else. Then there are the beautiful flower
fields which seem to never end and have a hypnotizing aroma, Mountains that
tower over you with might and excellence, and Lakes that seem to be as pure as a baby's heart as
soon as he exits his mother, everything in America is beautiful, it truly is freedom. It is a
utopia that I must grasp upon once more. A utopia that hasn't yet been stained by the
merciless Nazi regime. It is like a warm home in the middle of a freezing blizzard, or like a
glass of water in the middle of the great Arabian deserts. I swear that one way or another I'll
reach this utopia. Whether by waiting for them or by fighting, I do prefer waiting though. I
made the mistake of moving to Germany again with my family and now I've paid the price.
But knowing Americans and their obsession with freedom, I'm sure they'll save their Jewish
comrades" He stated confidently.
I was shocked, I had never seen someone so hopeful about a country, he was talking like
America was a person. I also wanted to feel that hope, I also wanted to see those flower
fields and those mountains and lakes. I too wanted to witness this utopia that isn't stained
by the Nazi regime. I wanted to experience American freedom, the American dream
and I would do anything to achieve that dream.
After our conversation, we went to our workstations and coincidentally we were in the
same workstation, meaning I had the chance to get to know him better and vice versa. We
bonded over our shared struggles and our desire for freedom (yet he was more pacifistic
rather than violent. He preferred waiting for freedom rather than fighting for it, but he was
open to fighting). In the end, me and him became good friends. It's almost like he was the
better version of Malcolm, rather than being a spineless coward who was also an attention
seeker and people pleaser who always wanted validation, he was a happy and hopeful
pacifist who was willing to fight for his freedom but preferred peace, he was a better
brother than Malcolm ever was.
My concentration camp had this peculiar system of executions where every month they
would pick out about 20 people from each sub-camp and bring them to the fatal gas
chamber. I wasn't aware of this until the day of the picking. About a week after I met Jonah,
Otto Schwarze told us about this evil system. This evil and wretched man didn't tell us
about it at first so that the Jews could bond with each other and befriend each other and then
when the time was ripe, they would get selected for the gas chamber and the Jews would be
separated from their friends. Otto showed no mercy towards the Jews and tried to ruin their
life in every aspect. It was almost as though he had the same fire inside of him as I do but
towards the Jews, but why? To this day I still wonder that. Anyways, during roll call on a
Monday one week after I met Jonah, Otto finally told us the truth in this exact speech:
"Hello Jews, before we begin the roll call, I have some news to tell you. I've kept this from
you until now, but you deserve to know, don't you?" He said whilst laughing menacingly.
I was curious but also nervous.
"What is this Nazi bastard hiding from us," I thought to myself.
"Every Month, the overseers or commanders of each sub-camp must select 20 Jews from
their respective sub-camp and send them to the gas chamber for execution. I have been
ordered to choose these people based on their productivity and work quality and here is
my list: Number 771, Number 241, Number 890, Number 12, Number 9, Number 2314,
Number 32, Number 98, Number 1204, Number 45, Number 76, Number 211, Number 5,
Number 443, Number 475, Number 10, Number 889, Number 900, Number 69, Number
62. The Jews which have been assigned these numbers get in a single file line and follow
me after I finish roll call."
My heart sank. I felt my heart itself rip apart cell by cell. I thought of screaming out and
crying and mourning in front of everyone, but I knew I would be severely punished for doing
so. Both of my brother's numbers were called out, Number 475 and 69. I started crying but
I couldn't make it too obvious, so I looked down and my tears started falling on the ground
making the ground moist.
Jonah, being a considerate friend and someone who cared for me, noticed this.
"Hey, are you alright? Your number wasn't called out. You are number 555 remember. It's
all good man." said Jonah
I didn't reply and kept crying.
Finally roll call was done and Jonah asked me what was wrong, and I told him my brother's
numbers were called out. Jonah's reaction was no better than mine. He also started crying
even though he never knew them.
"Why are you crying, Jonah? It's not like you ever met them" I asked him
"Because I know what It's like to suffer loss, I also lost my brother, he was shot by a Nazi
on the street. I never wanted anyone else to experience that but now you must experience
it. I am so sorry." He replied with mild tears but I could tell he was genuine.
His words shocked me, I've only known the guy for a week, yet he felt like my brother, he
was the best friend I ever had, he felt my pain and suffering like no one else. I did hate
Malcolm but even though he deserved death I still felt sorrow. When I finally started my
work, I got cursed and saw some other prisoners from other sub-camps that were going to
the gas chamber, and I saw my mother and father. Instead of my heart being ripped apart
and broken (which allows it to be fixed), it was burned, burned down into mere dust and
from that moment, I have never felt true happiness ever again, my heart was no longer there. I
immediately let out a blood-curdling scream and I cried. My tears were bitter, poisoned
with hatred and anger. In that instant, I was shedding my old self like a snake shedding its
skin. With every tear, my hate towards Nazis grew 100-fold. As I screamed and cried my
parents looked back at me and they both ran to the fence trying to console me. Otto
(thinking this was an attempt to escape) instantly shot them right in the head. The fence
was relatively close to me, and the blood splattered all over me and formed a blood puddle
which I fell on. I saw the blood and grabbed it with my hands then screamed. I then fell on
the side of my body with my face halfway in the puddle and cried. Jonah was near me and
saw everything, he knew that those people were my parents because of the way I was
screaming. He then also started crying and screaming. My screams became more vicious
whilst Jonah's became more sorrowful. Otto Schwarze then simply started laughing and
ordered his men to take the bodies away, but before his men did take the bodies
away, he walked over to their bodies and wiped off the moist mud (caused by the blood and
mud mixing) on their faces and then told me:
"You're lucky that wasn't you. Now stop your whimpering and get back to work." He said
with a vicious tone whilst standing above me.
I wanted to swear at him and threaten him, but I knew that would only get me killed so I
focused and went back to work along with Jonah. I will never forget Otto's laughs and his
mockery of my parent's death, and I will never forgive him for it. The echoes of my screams
that day will forever float in my head, disturbing me every night until my death, some may
call that PTSD, but I think I'm cursed, I'm the only one who was left alive, but I also
should've died, as my brother Marcus said, No one's life is more precious than another,
so why was I the only one left alive, why couldn't Otto Schwarze choose me, Aswell, why
was I spared! It's not like I was better than Marcus, Marcus should've been spared, or
perhaps my father! I'm a ruthless and heartless killer so why was I spared that day?! I too
should've died that day and gotten the sweet relief of death! That way I wouldn't have to suffer
anymore, and I would finally be free, but then again, I wouldn't have the chance to avenge
my family's death so maybe I was left alive to avenge them.