Now , I am officially a teen.
Unknowingly , I was oblivious about the fact that I had departed the best platforms of my life but hope was for the better and better outcome ...
Life has sped up a little bit.
More and more towards study and being eccentric .
But still my heart used to sway away towards the ground.
My father used to play football in his younger age ..He used to be a Striker .
He always encouraged me to give my best in the field...
Admission to the same high school my father used to go was the first footstep to the so called be(i)tter life ...
I wasn't talkative enough ..I could not make friends easily cause I did not have the wish to make friends at all .Once I stepped into high school , my stubborn myself and eccentric mind engraved myself in the mud of juvenile period..
I had always the inferiority complex about my looks which downgraded my confidence to the bottom...
Looks don't matter - This is what Handsome guys talk about..
Look matters - The rest does...
Concerned about my looks had a deeper impact on my stairs of my life..I have always stumbled upon those thoughts again and again which led into depression and insomnia...
When you have scarcity in one half , you have enrichment on the other..Every single person in this world is an art ...
The way God created every human being .You might imagine but still will fall into dismantled reality.... This is soooo serene that we are under the supervision of nature..This leaves us stunned how complicated but simple it can be as well .
Curiosity to know and to perceive in all different ways has been a great factor to our development in science..
We are so advanced was an exclamation and question mark to our primitive self 2000 years ago.
Our every bits of life 🧬 is an advancement to the better one half as well as the worst other half...
My life has been the same...
My body got its way of producing more and more hormone and changing way of who I was ...
Voice got deeper
Adam's apple (The Anterosuperior part of thyroid cartilage) emerged out
Beard came out
I got skinny as well
The dashing waves of testosterone made a greater impact on my behaviour by showing me way to unpredictability and attention deficiency...
I got ousted by my own discretion by relieving my urge for water leak..The hardening made me quite impossible to get out of it...I was so addicted of it that it made me weaker and weaker and tried to engulf with its canine teeth....The demon inside mewas trying to convince myself to the deepest darkest secret but still the better self was searching for a way to take me out..
Adulthood was knocking at door ..
Finally stepped into it ..
I was bright student throughout my adolescent period which was the reason of me cracking the toughest exam in my country...
I got good marks and continued my way of becoming a doctor ...
Got myself the best Medical College of my state ...This was definitely parental support and my perseverance and tenacity paid off.
This was not the end at all..
There comes the saddest part..the climax..
Bright things don't stay bright always...
Best gets better amongst the bests...
Once I got admission , the thought of becoming a doctor incentivised my spirit so much that I could not have the time to think about my own health....
I got entangled by the smoking habits so bad that I could not get out of it...
That affected my studies also..
Every rise has a fall
We all know bout it cause it has already happened in reality...
I was not the exception.
Intoxicated by my own self for not getting good marks and addiction made me realise I have come to the climax...
I am no longer a lion , I have turned into a miniature cat being.
I fell into gropes of depression , anxiety and mania .
My younger self was looking at me and said "what have you done to yourself ? Why ? Why? Why?"
My loneliness , introverted self got the very idea of making a small step to more than one girl but got rejected multiple times...
My wound inflicted deeper and deeper..
I was on the verge of cessation of myself..
That a doctor who tried so hard to get into the best college could do such things to end his life was unthinkable..
But the life was giving me a hint about something gold..
At this very moment of time , a bright light came to my imagination and brought me to the younger self and told me "LOOK at it .look.How happy you are .How ecstatic you used to have "
My realisation into deep reality brought back to my abode of serenity aka my better self...
I got myself in the vicinity of Allah and prayed for my better outcome....
Now I am way better as a human being..
Writing this to you all .
A long way to go...
See you all ...
Bye...