The winter chill that gnawed at my bones. The biting cold that felt like it was tearing my skin apart. The sorrowful memories.
The past that dragged me down. The nightmares that shredded my spring.
And now, the very monster that had destroyed everything—Karpeng—had awakened.
I had sworn revenge one day. I told myself it had to be me. That only I could claim that bastard's head.
I cast away my emotions. Abandoned my dreams. Left the past behind. If I could have, I would have sold my soul.
I lived in a state of bitterness. To overcome the past. To escape the nightmares.
To honor my dead sister.
But why...
Why is this cursed body trembling in fear? Why am I standing here, unable to move?
"L-Luchi..."
The priestess's trembling voice reached my ears.
"W-What is this..."
The priestess, drenched in sweat, looked southward with terrified eyes.
"K-Karpeng... why... why has it awakened? The barrier... it was definitely..."
I glanced around. The barrier was, indeed, securely in place as she had said.
Which meant that someone had deliberately awakened Karpeng.
And that someone was likely...
The Pope of Erden.
"Luchi."
Heinzel's heavy voice pulled me from my thoughts.
There was a deeper meaning in his voice and expression.
I looked around.
The village had descended into chaos, brought about by Karpeng's roar.
Some villagers had collapsed where they stood. Others foamed at the mouth, seizing in spasms. Some had fallen, vomiting blood. And many others stood there, soulless.
It was the same scene I had witnessed in the past. The same as the destruction of Havlon.
If we ran away now, the four of us would survive. Without a doubt, we would live.
But this village would end up just like Havlon.
The beautiful buildings would crumble into rubble, the fertile land would wither and dry up. All living beings, including the livestock, would perish. Nothing would remain. Only monsters would fill the desolation.
It would become a second Havlon.
It would fade from memory. Erased from the maps. And only distorted rumors would remain.
But we… we would live to fight another day.
We could survive and look forward to tomorrow. Wake up every morning. Eat, train, and live the peaceful life of adventurers.
So...
"Let's retreat—"
"Luchi, is that really what you want?"
Heinzel's deep gaze pierced into me. As if he were trying to read my very soul.
"What I want..."
Karpeng still scared me. Goosebumps rose on my skin. My teeth chattered.
The hand I had clenched into a fist was drenched in sweat. My entire body trembled uncontrollably. The memories of the past clouded my mind, making it hard to think straight.
I wanted to run. I didn't want to die.
But...
I wanted to kill. I wanted to fight.
I didn't want to repeat the past. I wanted to overcome the nightmares.
I wanted to block its attacks. Deflect its fists. Tear its hide. Rip out its eyes. Devour its innards. Shatter its bones.
And finally...
I wanted to sever its head.
That had been my goal in life.
That, above all else, was the final way I could honor the dead.
A hollow laugh escaped my lips.
It was ridiculous that I needed Heinzel to encourage me. That I needed his advice.
"Heh, Heinzel, we haven't settled our bet yet, have we?"
"Bwahaha! Right, we both lost count halfway through. The kid took first place. We still need to settle who comes last, don't we?"
Heinzel's boisterous laughter echoed through Roholan.
It resonated in my heart.
"Heh... right. That's how it should be. We'll see which is more useless—your dumb halberd or my sword."
I clenched my fist and stomped my stiff legs down. I slapped my mouth for spouting nonsense, slapped my face for looking scared.
Then I drew my broken sword.
"Seems like that stone-grilled steak's out of reach. How about we settle for a meal at Ursphere Village in Karahan instead?"
"Mm. Sounds like a good idea."
Heinzel gripped his halberd.
"L-Luchi... Heinzel... what are you two planning to do—"
"Priestess, it'd be best if you take the kid and help the villagers evacuate. I'm not sure if you'll make it all the way to Ursphere, but at least keep your head attached for now, eh?"
I turned and glanced at the priestess.
Even though she was enveloped in divine power, she looked like she could barely stand.
"That's for the best. Keep the divine power wrapped around your body, and be careful. If you hear that bastard's roar, you might pass out."
Then I turned my gaze back to the south.
In the distance...
Redder than blood, with a furred hide. A vicious maw filled with jagged teeth. Claws stretched out like razors. Its gaping mouth, full of rage, rushed toward us.
"Just in case, make sure Noah doesn't come this way if she wakes up."
"Bwahaha! Right. If the kid handles this, we won't be able to settle who comes last."
"You're... you're going to die. You're definitely going to die. So why..."
I ignored the priestess's words from behind.
I took a slow breath. Loosened my body, stiffened by fear. Carefully wrapped myself in my sharpened magical energy.
"During the hunt... I'll show you whose performance is superior, you bald brute."
"You better keep that last eye of yours safe. If that damn beast gets it, you won't even be able to die out of frustration."
"Shut up."
Heinzel's muscles swelled. My magic grew sharper.
And then.
GRAAAAAAAAA-!
Karpeng's roar echoed through the sky.
It would end this long, drawn-out nightmare.
It would finally break the winter that kept repeating.
It would shatter the memories of the painful past.
Step by step, I moved forward.
* * * *
Even though I had wrapped myself in divine power, Karpeng's roar shook my entire body.
I felt numb.
I wanted to collapse right then and there.
"Huuu... haaa..."
I lifted my head and looked in the direction Luchi and Heinzel had gone.
I could see it—the Red Wolf, Karpeng, known as the Nightmare of the East.
A beast three times the size of a human.
The sinister killing intent that oozed from its body.
The overwhelming bloodlust radiating from its claws.
The malicious aura dripping from its fangs.
Everything about it made me want to flee.
Made me want to give up.
But...
At the same time.
I saw those who stood firm.
They fought on with fragile human bodies. Wearing broken armor. Wielding shattered weapons.
Yet they still fought.
"You foolish girl..."
I gently laid Noah down on the ground.
I forced my body to move and stood up.
I bit my tongue, driving away the fear. My throat filled with blood.
I focused my mind and unleashed my divine power.
I had to help the villagers get back on their feet. I had to help them overcome their fear. I had to help them regain their senses.
I recalled Noah's warm smile. The one she'd shown me, promising to protect me for the rest of my life.
With that memory, I expanded the divine barrier to encompass all of Roholan.
I heard a faint sound. The sound of bodies rising. Of breathing becoming more controlled. Of sobs. Of sighs. Of despair. Of fear.
It filled Roholan.
With divine power in my voice, I spread it far and wide.
"To the residents of Roholan."
I plastered a warm smile on my face. The kind of smile I had worn out of habit.
I spoke with a confident voice.
"At this moment, the Sun Goddess is watching over us. So, there's no need to worry."
I caught my trembling voice and spoke with more conviction.
"There have been no meaningless deaths. There have been no wasted efforts. Everything has proceeded according to the will of the Goddess."
And then.
For the first time in five years, I spoke words I had never wanted to say.
A detestable lie I had always hated.
But this time, I meant it.
"All for the sake of Erden."
The faint sound grew louder. Bodies rising turned to footsteps. Controlled breathing became elevated voices. Sobs turned to laughter. Sighs became exclamations. Despair became hope. Fear became courage.
But still.
I grit my teeth. My stomach churned. I felt like I would vomit. My hands trembled. It felt like I would weep blood at any moment.
The ones you hated. The ones you scorned. The ones you despised. The ones you cursed. The ones you vented your anger on.
They are the ones protecting you now.
They are the ones who are out there, dying for your sake.
And you…
You laugh. You praise them. You take comfort in them. You gain courage from them.
And you say it as if it were obvious. That it's only right they risk their lives. That they have to step forward and take responsibility.
All of it...
Was despicable. Was revolting.
Havlon was destroyed. My village was destroyed. My heart was destroyed.
But you... You survived. You were saved. They protected you.
They saved you.
If even one person. If even one word.
If even a single thank you had been spoken. If you had shown just a little gratitude.
A warm word. A kind greeting. Even a lukewarm cup of water.
If you had shown even the slightest bit of thanks.
Then perhaps they wouldn't have left in silence. Perhaps they could have walked forward with their heads held high.
Perhaps… it could have been that way.
"Yes... it could have been that way..."
I, too. The me from the past.
I could have done it. But I didn't.
It wasn't that I couldn't.
I just didn't.
I was the same as the villagers.
And that fact made me sick.
I had acted just like them. I had thought the same as them.
But now, I found myself disgusted, thinking they were despicable, revolting.
I despised myself.
I was filthy.
I hated myself so much.
GRAAAAUUU-!!
"...Ugh, h-haha..."
Ironically, Karpeng's roar shook me free of my useless thoughts.
"Huu..."
I collected myself and lifted Noah into my arms.
And quietly.
I moved forward.
I had to do what I could as a priestess. What I had been doing for the past five years in villages ravaged by monsters.
"Who is the village chief here?"
"Ah... I-I'll bring them right away!"
The trembling woman stepped back as she spoke.
"No, I'll go to them. Just guide me."
"A-Alright!"
The woman bowed her head and began to walk.
I followed behind her, sparing one last glance at the direction Luchi and Heinzel were at.
At that moment.
I saw blood spray from Heinzel's body in the distance.
His halberd, which had seemed unbreakable, shattered.
His right arm was torn away.
The once-proud adventurer...
Now dragged himself pathetically along the ground.